BigSue

My philosophy is that you don't pick a goal weight -- your goal weight picks you. That probably sounds silly, and it's sort of an exaggeration, but when you're talking about the massive weight loss one gets from weight loss surgery, it's not necessarily practical to target a specific number on the scale. I didn't really have a "goal weight" -- nor did my surgeon -- until I went to my psychological evaluation and the psychiatrist asked me. Even that, I think, was mainly about checking to make sure I had realistic expectations. The number I gave was based on the average/typical weight loss for gastric bypass patients. I think I went with 180 pounds, but I actually ended up around 140. To me, the number on the scale is pretty meaningless. And I say that as someone with an analytical mind, who loves numbers and spreadsheets and graphs. The non-scale victories are far, far more important to your quality of life. First, and foremost are the health goals -- things like getting off of medications, having a healthy blood pressure and blood glucose, etc. Then there are the physical benefits like being able to walk a mile without sweating or a few flights of stairs without getting winded, and not having constant pain in your feet and knees. And of course the social benefits of literally fitting into the world -- flying without a seatbelt extension, sitting in a booth at a restaurant, not having to worry about weight limits on furniture. Finally, being more confident and satisfied with your body/appearance, having more clothing options, and being more accepted by people and society in general (which is really sad, but true). I think if you are fixated on a specific number on the scale, you can lose sight of those important non-scale victories. I'm not saying you shouldn't track your weight (I weigh myself probably more than I should, multiple times per day) or that the scale isn't important to your progress, but you don't know what the number will be when you hit the point that you have lost enough weight to improve your life. That's especially true when you start out at a high weight, because your body will not be the same at 220 pounds (after losing 200+ pounds) as someone who has never been higher than 220 pounds, because your body will have more skin and bigger bones even with the same amount of fat and muscle.

You seem to have a really cynical outlook on all of this. I, too, am a scientist by profession, and I've always been a bit of a pessimist, but I think sometimes, it's worth giving people the benefit of the doubt. It looks like you don't think your bariatric team has your best interests at heart. I know you've been burned before, and I also know what it's like to be constantly judged as stupid, lazy, noncompliant, untrustworthy, unworthy, etc. because of my weight, so I can understand your feelings about this, but don't forget that these are people who have devoted their careers to providing weight loss surgery. I'm not saying that they all genuinely care about alleviating the plight of the obese, or that they're sympathetic toward those of us in a position of needing this surgery, but I doubt there are very many medical professionals in the bariatric surgery field who are out to punish and criticize fat patients just for fun (or out of personal dislike of fat people). If for no other reason than their own self-interest, chances are that they want patients to succeed with weight loss surgery, and they are probably doing what they believe will contribute to their patients' success. Another thing to keep in mind is that sometimes people can be right for the wrong reasons. I've run into this in my own job, where someone has told me something that didn't seem to make sense, and I (as someone like you with an inquisitive mind) have gone looking for the real story, only to find that what I was told was correct, even though the reasoning was not. In this case, your dietitian might be giving you good direction even if she doesn't actually understand what she's talking about. Just because that dietitian (or even the whole bariatric team) doesn't know or understand the reasoning behind the rules, it doesn't necessarily mean that the rules are incorrect or arbitrary. Finally, if you hang around this forum for long enough, you will see that many patients want and need a lot of hand-holding. Some people would rather be given strict but arbitrary rules than loose guidelines. People are constantly on here posting questions like, "I had surgery X days ago; can I eat Y?" And honestly, considering that, I can't blame surgeons at all for wanting to make things as black and white as possible so they don't have to spend all their time answering these incredibly specific questions, tailored to each individual patient. Most patients are not medical researchers, and many want definitive instructions from their doctors. Many people would be paralyzed with indecision if they were told, "Some studies say X and others say Y; you figure it out." Ultimately, it's up to you to decide how closely to follow your surgeon's directions, and if you do your own research and believe you have found a better way, you can make that decision. But I would venture to say that you will likely have a better experience if you have a mindset of working WITH your bariatric surgery team instead of taking an adversarial approach.

First of all, 12 pounds in 3 weeks is a lot. You didn't gain the weight overnight and you won't lose it overnight, but be patient and stick with it and the weight will come off. The first few weeks post-op are the hardest because you're still recovering from surgery, very limited in what you can eat, and getting used to major changes, but you haven't yet seen the benefits of the weight loss. It is VERY common to have regrets and thoughts of, "What have I done to myself?!" early on, but as you progress, things will just get better. You'll be able to eat normal food again, and you'll lose more weight than you ever have before and get all the benefits that come with that. Hang in there!

Today is my 2-year surgiversary. I've lost 200 pounds from my highest weight -- a staggering amount when you think about it. I'm literally (less than) half the person I used to be. I should be on top of the world, right?! I don't want to dismiss the many scale and non-scale victories I've had, but it's not all rainbows and butterflies. When I catch a glimpse of myself in a mirror, I'm taken aback by two things: how small I am, and how freaking ugly. I was certainly never beautiful -- not even "pretty for a fat chick" or "would be cute if I lost some weight" -- but now, I look downright scary. I probably look 10 years older than when I was fat. My hair was already fine and flat before surgery, and now I've lost a lot of it and it hasn't grown back and it's a mess no matter what I do. Ironically, people often tell me I look great, which is obviously code for "not fat anymore." Sometimes, before saying I look great, they ask me if I'm sick or if I lost weight on purpose. I don't know what the point of that is; if I said I lost weight because I'm sick, would they instead say, "You look like $h!t"? When I imagined my life after surgery, I thought I would be the same person, but smaller. The same person, but able to wear non-plus sized clothes, fit into an airplane seat without a seatbelt extender, not have to check the weight limit on furniture and ladders. The same person, but without hypertension and diabetes. I guess, deep down, I knew that wouldn't be the case, because that's a big part of what held me back from having the surgery for so many years. I didn't want my life to revolve around my pouch. I didn't want to give up my favorite foods and think so hard about everything I eat. I definitely didn't want to turn into one of those boring a-holes who never shut up about their diet and exercise regimen. But here I am, and I feel like weight loss has taken over my life. I spend so much time and energy preparing and eating healthy foods, working out, keeping up with my supplements, that I don't have room for anything else. There was a period of time after my surgery when I felt great and full of energy, but now I'm tired all the time, and despite being in the best shape of my life, I feel weak because I no longer have 300+ pounds to throw around. People used to be surprised by my strength, but now I struggle to open pickle jars and heavy doors. (Yes, I've had my bloodwork checked and everything is great; the working theory is that the bradycardia due to rapid, massive weight loss is what's causing these problems.) I used to be incredibly devoted to my job, and most people would describe me as the hardest worker they knew (maybe a workaholic), and now I just don't have the same drive that I used to because I'm so focused on my weight. I feel like I'm letting everyone down because I'm no longer up for spending all my free time working. I think I was a better human being when I was fat. If I -- with the benefit of the hindsight I have now -- could go back in time to two years ago, when my morbidly obese self arrived at the hospital, and still had time to change my mind, would I still go through with having the surgery? 100% yes, without hesitation.

Have you tried mixing protein powder into food? You can try unflavored protein powder and mix it into anything, but I personally think it tastes gross. In my early post-op phases, I liked to mix chocolate protein powder into sugar-free chocolate pudding, vanilla protein powder into yogurt, cinnamon protein powder into oatmeal, etc. I found that much more palatable than protein shakes. Also, protein hot cocoa is delicious.

I live alone, hundreds of miles from any family, and I didn’t tell anyone about my surgery other than health care professionals. I really didn’t have any issues. I took a taxi to the hospital and hired a home health care aid to take me home. The hospital said they wouldn’t allow me to take a taxi/Uber home but they didn’t check and I totally could have, but the home health care aid didn’t cost much more than a taxi and she picked up my prescriptions and brought my bag in the house, so that was good. Plus, I had no idea how well or poorly I would be feeling when I got discharged, so it was nice to have that peace of mind. I had surgery on a Thursday, took the next week off of work, and went back the following Monday. I could have gone back much sooner, but it was good to have the week off so I could get used to my new situation (like having to sip tiny amounts to stay hydrated and get protein). I didn’t need any help taking care of myself. I didn’t have any pain by the time I got home. I was a little tired but functional. If I recall correctly, I wasn’t allowed to lift more than 20 pounds for the first 6 weeks, but I didn’t have any need to do so. I think my easy recovery was pretty typical of most WLS patients these days, but there’s always a chance you’ll have complications, so it’s a good idea to have a contingency plan in case you do need help.

I haven’t had a protein shake in ages (I’m 2 years post-op and get plenty of protein from solid food now), but I recall liking the caramel flavor of Equate brand shakes. It’s definitely a matter of personal taste, though!

The beginning is the hardest because you're still recovering from surgery, still getting used to the huge changes to your lifestyle, but haven't seen all the benefits of the weight loss yet. It does get easier, as you progress through the post-op stages and lose weight. You will start to feel "normal" again, maybe a new and different normal, and this weird and difficult post-op period will eventually be a blur in your memory. Hang in there!

Great job on your progress! I’m not generally one to “reward” myself, and I kind of look at the weight loss as its own reward. If you’ve been living with obesity for a long time, some really basic things that most people take for granted can be amazing to experience for the first time — like shopping in a non-plus-size store, traveling on an airplane without a seatbelt extension, or just being able to bend down and tie your shoes. Many of us experience great health improvements like stopping blood pressure medication. There’s a very long thread about weird non-scale victories here: http://sparktrack.bariatricpal.com/f/a/Y50OG68aRzzLR0Yjxz0aTA~~/AABcJQA~/RgRlAveiP0RTaHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYmFyaWF0cmljcGFsLmNvbS90b3BpYy80MzY3MTAtd2VpcmRlc3Qtbm9uZS1zY2FsZS12aWN0b3J5LWlsbC1nby1maXJzdC9XA3NwY0IKYx-iciBjIPHUHFIRc2FyYTc4MUBnbWFpbC5jb21YBAAAAAA~ I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with buying yourself a nice shirt or new phone or treating yourself to a massage to celebrate, if that’s how you like to reward yourself, but I think it’s also good to appreciate all of the ways your life is improving as you lose the weight.

Welcome! First of all, great job on your weight loss. Even after the regain, you’re still down 130 pounds from where you started, which is a major accomplishment. Secondly, I’m appalled that your bariatric surgeon’s solution was a 10-day liquid diet, as if that’s a realistic long-term weight loss strategy. I do think you’re on the right track to go to a PCP and get your thyroid and vitamin deficiencies corrected. Are you tracking your eating at all? I use MyFitnessPal, but there are other apps like Baritastic that have similar features, and I think tracking your eating can really help you see where you can improve. At least for me, there’s something about seeing the numbers that makes it clear what is or isn’t worth eating.

For something so simple, I had a lot of trouble finding a free bite timer app. I found one that is intended for interval training called Interval Timer.

A lot of people who have never struggled with their weight (or people who have only had to lose, like, 20 pounds) want to think of weight as a personal or moral attribute. They want to believe that their ability to control their weight is indicative of their personal superiority, so they feel threatened by the thought of some of us -- whom they view as inferior based solely on weight -- can "cheat" our way into their category. Many people who haven't looked into weight loss surgery also have no idea how hard it is. I think back to the first time I read about gastric bypass and thought it sounded like absolute magic -- the answer to all my problems! You get your stomach stapled and the weight just falls right off. And then I found out about all the risks and potential complications, dumping syndrome, and the fact that some people still regain the weight, and that was enough to turn me off from weight loss surgery for 15+ years. And even then, it wasn't until I actually started the process that I found out about the pre-op diet and all the post-op phases, having to constantly sip water all day just to avoid dehydration and go for weeks without solid food. I'd be willing to bet that most people have no clue how hard it is to get through all the pre-op requirements and post-op phases. Ironically, it's those people who have never had to think about weight loss surgery who really have the easy way out in that they don't have the propensity for weight gain in the first place. They have no idea how hard some of us have to work to lose weight and/or keep it off.

I'm two years post-op, and my appetite has returned, but not nearly to the extent as before surgery. In the beginning, it was easy to lose weight because I wasn't hungry at all and physically couldn't eat much, but that has gradually changed. It feels upsetting at times to see the portions that I am able to eat because I think, "I shouldn't have room for this big of a salad," but I think my perception is skewed because I'm comparing my current portions to my initial post-op portions, not to what I used to eat pre-surgery. I remember pre-surgery often feeling like my stomach was a bottomless pit, and no matter how much I ate, I could still feel like I was starving. There are times now when I eat a reasonably-sized meal and still feel hungry, but even then, it doesn't take much to get all the way full. I'm probably doing it wrong because we're not supposed to eat to the point of getting really full, but I'm not perfect. And sometimes it's still hard to tell whether it's real hunger or head hunger. I can definitely see how people can regain a lot of weight after a few years, because I feel as though my stomach has stretched out quite a bit and I could over-eat if I'm not careful about what I eat. However, I have COMPLETLEY changed my eating habits and shifted toward low-calorie foods. I've been tracking everything I eat in MyFitnessPal for over two years, and I consider that the #1 key to my weight loss, other than surgery itself (in fact, I lost 70 pounds before surgery this way). I'm not stupid -- I know how to read a nutrition label -- but there's something about actually logging my food intake that makes me confront my choices and think about what is and isn't worth eating. I still track my calories in MyFitnessPal and I'm afraid to stop, but I suspect that I would probably be ok without tracking because I've gotten into good habits. I've also found that at times I've eaten more than I should (e.g., eating at a restaurant or getting hungry between meals and having a big snack) and think, "I need to limit my calories for the rest of the day," I actually end up not being hungry for the rest of the day, anyway. My tastes have also changed since surgery. I used to be kind of a picky eater, and I'm not sure if my actual tastes have changed or if I've just become more open-minded, but I eat all kinds of things now that I wouldn't have touched before surgery. I used to hate seafood and now I love it and eat fish almost every day. I used to hate a lot of vegetables, like squash, peppers, radishes, cauliflower, etc., and now I'll eat just about any vegetable. I consider cauliflower rice to be the greatest diet hack of all time because it simultaneously eliminates a high-carb food and sneaks a vegetable into the meal. Plus, if you buy the frozen stuff, it's faster and easier to prepare than actual rice. Before surgery, I turned my nose up at the idea of cauliflower rice, but now I eat it several times per week. I suspect that a lot of people who regain the weight rely too much on the restriction and don't change their eating habits, so when the restriction wears off, they're kind of back where they started.

Pre-op diets vary from one surgeon to the next, but be prepared for it to suck. There's pretty much no way around it, but you just have to get through it as part of your WLS journey that will be worth it in the end. It feels like an eternity when you're going through it, but eventually, it will be a blip in your memory. My best tip, both for the pre-op diet and the liquid phase, is that you're going to be drinking a lot of protein shakes, so buy samples of different brands and flavors so you can have a variety. Also, you'll learn to appreciate sugar-free popsicles.

I second Built Bars as the best protein bars available. They’re lower in calories and sugar than most other protein bars. I wouldn’t consider them “meal replacement bars,” but perhaps you are using that term loosely. You should easily be able to find a coupon code for 12%-15% off with Honey or Capital One browser extensions. Be warned, though — you will get hooked on them and buy way too many because they keep releasing limited-edition flavors. I personally prefer the regular bars to the puffs, but they are all delicious. Pro tip: a lot of the bars are better warmed in the microwave (10-15 seconds on high, or use the “soften butter” setting if you have one).

You are going to drive yourself crazy if you track your weight to the gram daily. Weight gain or loss is not linear. Think about it: if you drink 16 ounces of water, that is zero calories, but until you excrete it through urine, sweat, etc., you will have gained a pound. Obviously, that is not the same thing as gaining a pound of fat from eating more calories than you’re burning. A lot of people only weigh themselves once per week (or less often), and you might want to consider that if seeing a temporary weight gain is going to upset you. If you can’t help checking more frequently than that, you could just record it once per week (no matter how many times you step on the scale) so you can see your long-term progress without the day-to-day fluctuations.

I took a helicopter tour! The weight limit is 300 pounds per person and 600 pounds total for a group of 3. I would have been over the limit at my heaviest. The best part is that I didn’t even check the weight limit. I didn’t even think about it until I got there and saw a sign. When I was over 300 pounds, I would have checked that before I drove there.

My resting heart rate got down to the high 30s, and I did end up getting a pacemaker. The cardiologist said that it is rare, but bradycardia can result from massive weight loss. He also said that it wouldn't be a major concern on its own, but the symptoms I was experiencing (fatigue, weakness, edema) warranted a pacemaker. I had the dubious honor of being the youngest patient in whom he has implanted a pacemaker. Anyway, I don't say this to alarm you, but that a low heart rate is not necessarily a problem per se if you are not experiencing symptoms because of it. However, definitely mention it to your surgeon and/or PCP and get it checked out because you don't want to mess around with heart problems.

You probably won't need 4-6 weeks off -- most people don't take that much time off unless they have a physically demanding job. Your surgeon probably wants you to be prepared just in case. I live alone and didn't have any assistance during my recovery, except the day after my surgery. I wasn't allowed to drive myself home and the hospital wouldn't allow me to take a taxi/Uber home (although I probably could have gotten away with it), so I hired a home care agency to pick me up from the hospital. It actually wasn't much more than the taxi ride I took to the hospital, and it included 4 hours of home care, so the person who drove me home brought my bag inside and went to pick up my prescriptions. After that, I was on my own and I was fine. It's a good idea to plan ahead and make sure you won't need to lift anything more than 20 pounds during your recovery. You're also supposed to be careful about bending over, and I was concerned about being able to do laundry, but it ended up not being an issue. I also suggest you have a backup plan -- someone you can call if you need help. It sounds like your mom would be able to if you really needed her. If she lives close enough, maybe she can come by to check on you a few times. If not, do you have a friend who could check on you? (For me, this was difficult because I didn't tell anyone about my surgery.)

Have you picked a surgeon or clinic? If so, you could try asking them — they should be very familiar with dealing with insurance companies. My surgeon’s clinic has a “patient navigator” whose job is basically to help patients through the pre-op process. She looked up my insurance and told me exactly what the requirements were. Of course, that’s easier if you already have insurance so they can get your actual policy, but if you work for a large company, chances are good that your surgeon has other patients with the same insurance and know what the requirements are.

Welcome back! It's always good to see WLS veterans here because most people drift away after the first few months. I saw a WLS YouTuber who made a video about regaining some weight; I think it was about 50 pounds over the course of 4 years. She pointed out that this sounds like a lot, but it's only about 1 pound per month, which you wouldn't even notice from one month to the next. It's a little scary to see how easy it is to regain what you worked so hard to lose. Have you tried working out at home? I'm not, never have been, and never will be, one to go to a gym to work out. I do cardio every day at home with Leslie Sansone videos (free on YouTube), and strength training with a $50 set of resistance bands. As for the self-hate food... Are there any foods you enjoy eating that are not self-destructive? Maybe this is stupid, but perhaps if you get back to eating foods that are pleasurable to eat but don't make you feel terrible, you'll stop wanting those punishment foods.

I had surgery on a Thursday, took the next week off, and went back to work the Monday after that (so I went back 11 days after my surgery). I could have gone back to work 5 days after my surgery (I have a desk job). I took vacation time because I didn't tell anyone I was having surgery.

It's kind of hard to describe, but even though I'm tired and weak, it is offset by the fact that getting around is so much easier without the extra 200 pounds. It is a different kind of tired, I guess. I wouldn't say I have a lot of saggy skin on my face, but I look older because my face just looks boney, compared to the youthful chubby cheeks I used to have. I didn't do this for looks, but if that is important to you, weight is the #1 most important thing to how most people perceive your looks. No matter how saggy your face gets, society, in general, is so fat-phobic that people will still think you look better thin than fat. I don't think skin removal surgery is a must, but I do think it's important to be realistic and know that just because you weigh a lot less doesn't mean you'll necessarily have a bikini-ready body. It's good that you are thinking about these issues before surgery! I see so many people on this forum who have the surgery without really knowing what to expect and having a lot of unpleasant surprises. I think if you make your decision with your eyes wide open, you can be confident that you did the right thing even when things are rough.

Yeah, I didn't do this for my looks, either, but sometimes it can be jarring to see myself. I also have that sense of not recognizing myself (and yet, when I see pictures of myself from before, I also think, "Woah, was I really that big?!"). I never planned to have plastic surgery. I like to think my expectations were pretty realistic, and I knew that I would have loose skin but that it would be a lot better than having all that extra weight. I considered it for a while because of all the people on this site who have done it and are glad they did, but now I'm back to thinking that I just need to remember how far I've come and that I'm lucky to look the way I do now. It's cool to find other people who have come as far as I have because there aren't a lot of people in the world who know what it's like to lose 200 pounds!

For the first several months after my surgery, I really felt like I was mourning the loss of food. I used to love watching cooking shows like Top Chef, The Great British Baking Show, etc., and after surgery, I couldn't stand to watch shows like that, or even restaurant commercials, because I was so sad about these foods I could no longer eat. But eventually, I got to a point where I can (and do) watch and enjoy those shows without feeling that emotional loss. I can watch people make deep-fried pastries and not be sad that I couldn't eat them. I don't seek out that kind of food, though -- I actually kind of enjoy digging through Pinterest to find recipes that I can eat. It kind of feels like a win to find healthy recipes that taste good. I guess I would say I'm in maintenance. I didn't expect to lose as much weight as I did, because I started off bigger than most. I wasn't even sure I'd ever get below an obese BMI. Don't get me wrong -- I'm thrilled with my weight loss and grateful for this second chance at life, but It is such hard work, and the thought of having to keep working this hard for the rest of my freaking life just to not get fat again is exhausting! I feel like I can eat too much in terms of portion size, so I have to make sure to stick to really low-calorie foods, because I can't eat just one bite of something decadent and be full.