Arabesque

It really depends upon your recovery & your surgeon’s requirements. Mine keeps his patients in overnight but because I lived alone he wanted me to stay a second night. The morning I was to be discharged my back went into spasm & I was in a lot of pain (tears running down my face) so he had me stay a third night. Went home the next day & the rest of my recovery went smoothly.

You’re not alone in your thinking. I’d say everyone of us looked in the mirror one day & wondered how we got to the point of obesity & felt we had lost some of ourselves. Whether it was through choices we made or didn’t make, genetic predisposition, medications, health issues, psychological issues or just life we all ended up obese. Some things were totally out of our control & others were things we could have controlled or changed. Just like you all of us wanted to do something about it. To take some of that control back. To get our lives & ourselves back. Don't be hard on yourself. It’s not going to change the past & your obesity but the surgery can help you change your future. Celebrate you making the decision to have the surgery, the changes you’re already starting to make & the potential for your future. Remember the serenity prayer: Grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference. Grab this opportunity with both hands and embrace every opportunity it offers. All the best.

This has become a problem for me too - every long boot is too large around the calf & short boots gape at the top. I can put both hands down the sides of some. I finally found some stretch suede long boots last year - not nice ones but the best I could find.

Sorry you have been unwell. Apparently, nausea is a symptom of Ecoli. Not as common but still a symptom. So maybe the Ecoli is the cause of your nausea & not your bypass??? Regardless, I hope they can treat the Ecoli & can resolve the nausea. https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/e-coli/symptoms-causes/syc-20372058

Everything that @The Greater Fool & @catwoman7 said. You’re not failing. It’s something we all experience. Don’t let your worth or feelings of success be dependent upon the number on the scales. That thinking will lead to you sabotaging your success. Your weight loss will never be a consistent straight line. It goes up & down all the time. Our bodies naturally fluctuate (hormonal changes, fluid retention, constipation, diarrhoea, less intake today & a little more tomorrow, activity variations, etc.) & while losing weight, our body experiences periods of stress. It reacts to the stress of the weight loss by stalling. Basically, your body closes the door & hides under the covers for a little while until it’s ready to face the world again. The stall will break when your body is ready & you’ll start losing again.

I believe with bypass you tend to lose more quickly at the beginning but then it slows to a similar rate to sleeve. But people tend to lose more slowly after a revision. I guess because you’ve already had one change with your sleeve & the bypass just changes a bit more. While our new set points will determine a lot of our final weight (where our bodies are happiest & equalises at), you still have to be willing to be dedicated & committed to the program which you learnt after your first experience. The stats say the average weight loss at the three year mark is about 65%+/- of the weight you have to lose with either sleeve or bypass. This takes into consideration the bounce back regain some experience, complacency & changes to your diet to best complement your life, etc. Don’t know what the stats are for revision surgery. Do some lose more than the average stats? Yes. At my lowest I had lost 138% of the weight I had to lose with my sleeve. At three years out now, I weigh a couple of kilos more so am at 129%. I am very careful with my food intake, portions, etc. but I think this is also about the weight my body is happiest at. You’ll lose weight all over your body. You can’t spot lose fat or chose where your body burns fat. It may seem you’re losing weight from certain areas more slowly but it’s usually where you held the most concentration of fat. If you carried a lot of weight on your legs or tummy they might be the slowest place for you to notice loss. All the best.

You beat me @Starwarsandcupcakes. I only have 4 jars of peanut paste (butter) in my fridge. 😁😁

I think a lot of crackers are slider foods. Rice crackers esp brown rice ones are for me as are Jatz (which are like ritz). Are you eating them for the crunch or the salt? The other consideration is considering how little you are able to eat at the moment is it worth filling up on a cracker which has very little nutritious value to you at the moment. Personally I would leave them until at least you start on solid food - crunchy, crisp foods with bite are on the food to avoid for a while (even if they can turn to mush if you chew them a lot before swallowing). But definitely speak with your dietiican first. I was able to add crackers in maintenance but was advised they had to be multi or whole grain ones by my dietician.

My freezer is full of single serves of meals I’ve cooked. I sometimes think of it as my takeaway supply. Don’t want to cook - just check the freezer & I have a meal in a couple of minutes. I have at least two backups of foods I eat regularly in the pantry too. Like two bags of seed mix, rolled oats, barley, condiments, etc. There are several tins of tomatoes, lentils, etc, too. And I have like 8 packets of the multigrain crackers I like as I can’t get them at my usual shop so I buy in bulk. Think some of it is in response to the lockdowns the past two years though when it was hard to find some items (still erratic supplies of some items at times). I’m not getting caught out again.

I realised spoke a lot about eating in my second & into my third year & wonder if it was just me coming to terms with everything & wanting to talk it out. I do like to verbalise my thinking 😁. I notice my friend who had surgery a year after me is now talking about her food choices a lot more too. I wonder if it’s just something some of us go through. Could some of you thinking you’re focussed on eating be for the same reason: learning & coming to terms with what works for you? Discovering what you need & can eat to maintain your weight & health. I focus a bit on my protein simply because of my absorption issue & I am always conscious of portion size. And I freaked out a bit when I gained a couple of kg earlier this year. It took me a little while to come to terms with why (increased protein intake & a higher dose of HRT) & accept & manage it. But you know if it’s just learning & understanding or if it’s you being obsessive in your thinking. All the best Sue.

Yeah, I never understood that rule either. Fortunately I was never told to do it just to take small bites. I used a teaspoon - just like feeding a baby without the need for a bib 😉. Chewing a lot certainly helps with slowing your eating & being more mindful about your eating but so to does just putting down your cutlery & sitting back from the table between bites. If you keep your food tender, moist with gravies & sauces, eat slowly & take small bites you should be able to swallow without issue (discomfort, food getting stuck, restriction, etc.) which is likely the real reason behind the chewing a lot guideline. I still eat slowly - 30-60minutes. If it gets too cold I just reheat it in the microwave. Easy.

So sorry you have been going through this, Sue. You’re not alone. I also have less energy then I did before. The energy drops come from low blood pressure & low heart rate like you. I’ve wondered if I could have bradycardia too or be close to it. Plus throw in some random hypoglycaemic episodes & it can make for an interesting day. My BP usually sits around high 50s - 70s over low 40s - high 50s. My heart rate is usually in the 60s but can be lower. When I had the skin graft on my thumb last year, the nurses were very concerned with how low my BP was & my pulse. They even asked if I was an athlete which made me, my friends & family laugh. Nope, just seems to be me I told them. A difference may be that I used to experience this whenever I was at a lower weight (60-65kg) too but not as severely or as frequently as now. My friends used to laugh back then when I said I don’t exercise much because I could have these drops where I’d almost collapse. They thought it was just a joke excuse until they were with me when it happened. Boy did they panic. So I believe this is really a pre existing condition for me & I experience it all the time now because I weigh less. (A tendency towards low blood pressure & pressure drops does run in my family.) If I put on 10kg it would probably improve but I don’t want to put on weight. I too was always that person at work before others & still there after most left, taking on additional work, helping others do their work, working on weekends & rostered days off, …. And yes I was very happy with how I worked & my commitment to my job & employer. So I get you feel you’re letting people down now. But I look back & realise how many actually took advantage of my work ethic: colleagues & bosses. I also realised I gave up a lot of my free time, turned down social events & sacrificed my personal life for work & for nothing. Didn’t get the promotions, the pay rises or even acknowledgement. It was like they just expected I would do it. At least your commitment & efforts are recognised. I get a bit angry & sad about it when I look back can’t you tell. It contributed to my decision not to work anymore last year at 56. I’ve learnt how to manage the low energy, BP, etc. easier because I don’t work though. I pace myself during the day & I’ll take breaks if out. I’m careful when I stand & make sure I have something close by I can grab if my vision goes. If I am doing anything more active, I take hydralyte with me for an energy boost. I don’t always remember & sometimes my day works against me but I do the best I can in the situation. But like you, I don’t regret my surgery at all. I’m so very happy I did it & wouldn’t change a thing.

If anything seems strange, unusual or not as you would expect or were advised, give your medical team a call. Always better to be safe. Developing a lactose sensitivity isn’t uncommon & for most it’s just temporary. So it’s a good idea to try some lactose free products to rule it out. Some whey products still contain lactose so you do need to ensure the whey products are lactose free as well. My lactose sensitivity used to cause stomach cramping then a diarrhoea attack which would occur usually an hour or two later. I didn’t have heart palpitations, cold sweats or exhaustion like dumping does so I would doubt it was that. Plus you didn’t eat anything that was high sugar or high fat. While the hormonal flush you get as oestrogen is released into your blood stream from the fat you’re losing (oestrogen is stored in fat), can cause crazy pms symptoms & periods I don’t think that was the cause but then you never know. We all react differently.

I never thought about losing weight on my fingers during the process which was a bit odd because I knew my fingers had got fatter with the rest of me. As a tip, I had a couple of rings I couldn’t get resized down enough to fit my smaller fingers because of the detailed work on the shoulders & how the ring was set. I got them reduced to as small as they could go & then bought some of those clear spiral ring resizers from Amazon. That way I can still wear the rings without fear of them slipping off. Also helpful while waiting to get your rings resized too.

I did room temp water first then added hot water to the chocolate flavoured shakes. Pretended they were hot chocolate without the marshmallows. Took a lot of pretending though. 😁

For many food was a source of comfort & this has been taken away from you. This is a stressful time so it isn’t unusual for you to be constantly thinking about the food you can’t eat which you would have turned to to soothe your stress in the past. Of course knowing this doesn’t really stop the the thinking which is why so many find therapy a great help. A therapist will support you work through the why you eat, the cravings, etc. & help you develop strategies to deal with the issues & manage the cravings, etc. Your surgeon or medical team should be able to recommend someone who can guide you. I enjoy food. I like to dine out at very good restaurants. I’m just carefully with my food choices & my portion sizes. Over the time since my surgery I find I do look at food & eating differently. That old adage of eating to live & not living to eat is very meaningful for me now. My mind is not constantly thinking about food & what I’m going to eat next. Food still gives me pleasure but it’s the pleasure of flavours & textures & smells. I don’t use it to soothe or comfort me. I don’t eat to feel better. It takes work. It’s a huge change of thinking & it takes time. It’s why a therapist can be so helpful. Don’t give up. You can do it.

I wasn’t working when I had my surgery but started a new contract with my old employer - different section - 4 weeks later. I told them I had a surgery & my boss just presumed it was a female surgery so he never asked for more information, which I was amused by & never corrected. The specifics of the surgery are really none of their business & you can say it’s private & you don’t want to talk about it. I just intimated the subsequent weight loss was me deciding to make changes & trying to lose weight to improve my health.

You just had pretty major surgery lots of things will be a struggle for the first week or so & then while you are healing. It’s not uncommon for people to struggle to get in their protein & water in to begin. Honestly the first three days I wouldn’t have drunk more than a cup of broth total. But as long as you’re making an effort & there is a steady improvement you’ll be ok. And yes, warm drinks are often more soothing & easier to tolerate than cold. Don’t be afraid to use hot water or microwave your shake. I did it with my chocolate one every day. (Some powdered proteins don’t mix well in hot water so heat those after you mix them.) I swear I still can feel cold drinks as they pass all the way down from my mouth to my tummy which will then clench. I spread my meds out across the day too. Not an issue. Helped with some of the nausea from the vitamins too. It does better & easier just give yourself time to heal.

Slimy massage 😂😂😂

Yeah, I’ve heard the same thing - comparatively a slower rate of loss post revision & less weight loss. And that they can eat more than they did in the early stages post their first surgery. Maybe because your tummy isn’t changed again with the revision just where it joins the intestines??? You’ll still experience stalls which is what this may be or you could have reached your body’s set point - the weight at which it is happy.

I did respond in another thread but I found my body (& remaining fat) seemed to resettle after my weight was stable. When I first lost my weight my body was very up & down. I had lost my hour glass shape. Then one day I realised I had a waist again. Hips, waist & boobs. Much smaller ratio of course but definitely an hour glass. (Still no butt though - ha.) Even my face didn’t look as gaunt. Is your body more like your old body shape? And, no offence intended because I don’t know your age, but we women do tend to thicken around our waists as we age so it could be related to your hormones settling again too. Damn hormones or lack of them. Because my breasts became so empty I had pleating in the top part of my bras. Since my HRT was increased in December my right breast (only the right) has filled a little so the upper part of the right cups of my bras fit a little better. Now if I only could get my left breast to fill a little life would be sweet. Our bodies can be weird.

Glad you’re feeling great physically post surgery. You have had 80 odd precent of your tummy removed. What’s left is being held together by staples & sutures. It can be easy to forget what they did inside you when all you can see is 4 or 5 tiny little incisions that heal relatively quickly. Imagine how you would care for a deep cut about 12 inches long with multiple sutures on your arm & how long that would take to heal. (Took 4 weeks for a small skin graft I had on my thumb to be healed enough to have the sutures removed but it still had to be bandaged & protected for another month after.) The staged return to eating is to support & not strain your tummy while it is healing. Leaks, as a result of pulling or straining stitches & staples are a real possibility & can be dangerous if you don’t treat your tummy with care. For many of us, the liquid stage post surgery is only two weeks before we progress to purées. Then another two weeks until soft foods, etc. Some people find they need to stay longer at a stage because their tummy isn’t healed enough to tolerate the denser food. You can always ask your surgeon why they require more than a fortnight on liquids. Maybe they’ll allow you to start adding some purées earlier. Best is always to stick to the plan you have been given though. You won’t gain weight by eating more solid foods. As @kcuster83 said as long as you are eating in a calorie deficit & forcing your body to burn fat to get the energy it needs to function effectively, you will lose weight. Your weight loss does slow as you are able to eat more & a broader range of foods & as you get closer to your goal. Unfortunately, the heady & exciting days of raid weight loss doesn’t last. I wonder how much of your hunger is actually head hunger which is coming from you sub consciously wanting to soothe your anxiety & anger with food as you likely did before surgery. The head work can be the most difficult challenge of this process.

Congratulations @STLoser. This is an amazing achievement. As @Starwarsandcupcakes said maintenance can be a lot of trial & error. It took me a while (another 11months) to finally stop losing & for my weight to stabilise. I wasn’t eating a lot when I reached my goal (about 900+/- calories) & it took time for my portion sizes to get closer to a recommended serving size. (I also still wasn’t hungry.) I added snacks - like eventually 5 a day. It seemed crazy & I felt like I was eating all day but it was the only way I could get in those extra calories I needed to slow then stop the loss. (I did this with my dietician.) I don’t eat as many snacks now - usually 3 - because I can eat more at a meal. I stabilised at 1300 calories for a year. I eat more like 1400 now because I had to up my protein to 70g (protein absorption issue). Thanks to also needing a higher dose HRT at the same time I put on 2kgs very quickly but have been steady again for 6 months. Fingers crossed. Just take it slowly as you work out what else you can add to your diet. You may have to keep adjusting until you discover what works for you. So expect some ups & downs. Initially I slowly added extra serves of whole/multi grains (went from 1 to 3 but only about 2 now), a second serve of fruit (1 again now), some extra fat (also reduced some), a few extra vegetables, etc. Kept to my very little sugar/sweet foods & no breads, pasta or rice I established while losing. All the best.

Welcome back to the dark side @GreenTealael. Bah ha ha! And we even have @Sophie7713 in black (& white). 😁. You both look gorgeous as usual.

It’s like your body & remaining fat resettles after you have been stable for a little while. When I stabilised, I was very straight up & down & was disappointed I had lost my hour glass shape. But a few months later my waist was back - no weight change either. Still have no butt (ha!) but there is a distinct in & out of hips, waist & boobs again - yay!