Arabesque

I’m sorry you are going through this frustrating time. Just throwing a few things out there. I could be widely off the mark but … Are you eating a good balance of food so you get in a range if nutrients? I’m guilty of having the odd yoghurt meal or protein only meal but it’s balanced by the variety of food I eat for my other meals throughout that day. Your body needs a variety of nutrients, vitamins & enzymes to be able to digest & absorb the nutrients, vitamins, etc from what you eat. Do you predominately eat low or no processed foods i.e. a whole food diet? Do you consume a lot of artificial sweeteners? What does your blood test show in relation to vitamins & proteins, glucose, cholesterol, etc.? Have you had a liver scan or other tests? Have you spoken with your surgeon or just the dieticians? Could there be an absorption issue? Maybe your body needs more of certain food types like carbs to function more effectively? The stress & anxiety you’re feeling could be contributing. Certainly adding to your hair loss I’d think. Viscous cycle in play. Our bodies usually work to protect us but sometimes can work against us too. All the best.

There are lots of differences in plans for pre & post surgery. From how long each stage lasts to what you are allowed to eat or drink on each stage, etc. While the two weeks cycle is quite common many have shorter or longer stages like one week liquids or skip stages like no purée. Some find they need to stay longer at a stage or go back a stage because they’re not healed enough. I have heard of some surgeons who have encouraged their patient to move to the next stage earlier than they first required. I was on two week cycles of the three stages: liquids, purée & soft, before beginning more solid food. Liquids did not have to be clear & was allowed smooth soups & broths with shakes during the liquid stage but no juice, sugar free jello or popsicles at all. Many are allowed mashed potatoes & apple sauce during purées but I wasn’t. I was allowed herbal or green tea from the beginning. Best advice is always to follow your surgeon’s plans. It’s in place to protect & support your healing tummy & not put additional stress on it. They have developed their plan based on their theories & experiences. If you do have an issue with the stages or plan discuss it with your surgeon - never hurts to ask for modifications.

This is interesting (though I’m sure not for you). Out of curiosity did they say if this is a temporary or permanent issue? Wondering if it is similar to how other hormones & enzymes can go crazy while we are losing but settle again (often at a better level) once our weight stabilises. How are they treating you? Since my gall removal I don’t absorb protein well so I take creons which are a pancreatic enzymes which can firm bowel movements up for some. Wonder if they would help you too? Sorry for the questions.

Another one of those everyone’s different things I think. I understand they can continue to be erratic for a while for some. Have you had a blood test to check your hormone levels? They’re a good indicator of what stage you’re at. My GP checks my levels every now & again as a comparative even though I very menopausal. My mother is 83 & still takes HRT. If she goes off them she gets hot flushes, becomes cranky & argumentative, etc. She often laments wasn't menopause supposed to stop 20 years ago (& she started having symptoms in her early 40s - wasn’t pleasant either). Thankfully I haven’t followed after her & our peri/menopausal experience has been very different.

The time when you are losing is a wonderful opportunity to change your relationship with food. To assess the situations & emotions that drive you to eat. Many of us used food to comfort & soothe us & doing the head work is an important aspect of the long term success of your weight loss. Some found therapy very helpful in discovering how to take away the power of those emotional drives & learning how to better manage them. (Your surgeon or their team will be able to recommend someone you can work with if you.) That old adage of eating to live not living to eat is true but the realisation & acceptance of it doesn’t occur overnight. I still find enjoyment in eating, dining out, etc. but I don’t turn to food to make me feel better. You can’t totally get rid of cravings (desire for specific foods, textures or flavours) but they’ve lost most of their power over me now & occur infrequently. If I do crave something, I recognise the craving for what it is & I choose what to do about it. I may ignore it or if I choose to satisfy it I make better food choice & watch portions. Want something salty have nuts. Want something sweet have fruit. I used to enjoy having something sweet after dinner & I’d often buy a special sweet treat on the weekends (too many patisseries). Now I rarely eat sweet foods & rarely go to the patisserie unless buying for others. Don’t want it or miss it either.

Yep stall. It may last 1-3 weeks & you’ll likely experience them again. Think of them as your body taking a break in reaction to all the stress it’s been under (the equivalent of how we may want to close the door & pulling the covers over our head when stressed). It will pass. Stick to your plan, don’t stress your body further by making more changes & it will pass when your body is ready. Oh, and stay off the scales for a few days - it will only frustrate you more.

Milk is better, unless it becomes too rich, to make yoghurt into a yoghurt drink. Plus extra protein from the milk. Bonus!

Isn’t it wonderful to be able to see your real face. Cheek bones, jaw line, neck, … I even have visible lower eyelids now - they’re not being covered by droopy, puffy upper lids anymore. You look great & yes definitely younger.

It can be hard at first to hit those goals. Your poor tummy is super sensitive, your taste buds may have changed (temporary) & you’re likely not hungry or interested in eating. As long as you’re close & working towards your goals it’s okay. Don’t forget your shakes & broths count as fluids too. Shakes usually are 20-30g of protein depending on the brand. Sip them just like you do your other fluids - doesn’t matter if it takes an hour or more to drink your shake. I used to add twice the water to the mix to dilute the flavour & texture of the shake & to get down more fluids. It would take me a couple of hours to drink one but it was 1/4 of my fluid & a good 1/3 of my protein goals. You’ll get there.

They were a no for me too while I was losing. (I’m another whole food person.) So many protein bars are really just candy bars. Does your team recommend a specific brand? Maybe the require only half a bar as a portion size consideration & therefore calories, carbs, etc. When I reached maintenance I used to use them as an emergency snack - popped one in my bag on a busy or active day or would have one if I was having a day I was a bit low on protein & calories. And yes I’d eat a whole one if I was able. When my protein absorption issue was picked up almost two years ago, I started to have a whole bar every night after dinner to ensure I reached my higher protein goal. I’ve found lately, I’m eating only half or 3/4 of a bar. I just twist the packet & finish it the next night. I keep them in the fridge. I find them less gummy & gluey & more tolerable that way.

Pancreatitis? Diverticulitis? Intestinal blockage? Go back to your surgeon & ask for some scans to be done to be certain of what’s going on. It may be gas but better to know so it can be treated. Pain & being unable to eat should always be investigated further. All the best.

Slips happen so try not to beat yourself up. And as @ChubRub said, use the experience to learn how make better choices in the future. There is a lot to learn & mistakes will happen & that’s okay. You’ll discover & start new habits, be able to more easily make better food choices, be more conscious about portion sizes, & so on & so they fit in with your life. Including how to enjoy pizza with your daughter in the future. Yes, tell your team. They can help you work out ways to better manage these type of situations in the future.

I’m sorry your dad is being unsupportive. It’s always hardest to block out hurtful comments by those we love. Did you point out how much you’ve actually lost? It was early in the second month post surgery I think when a friend commented. I was wearing a more fitted dress that used to pull across my butt & tummy a bit in the past & now skimmed. I’d lost about 12kg ( 26lbs) in total. I was still wearing mostly the same clothes but they fit better. The only pieces that were verging on too big were those with proper waist bands everything else had elastic bands or drawstrings so could fit multi sizes. However, importantly, my staring weight was less than yours (based on what you want to lose) so it took less weight loss to see any difference. You’re losing weight from all over your body not just your torso. Try taking photos & body measurements - thighs, calves, upper & lower arms, waist, hips, breast & compare those too not just the scales & the size on your clothing tags. Remember the difference between one size & the next is usually 2 inches so, for e.g., your waist would have to be a good 2 inches smaller for you to need to drop a size (in a fitted waist outfit). General advice is if you lose about 10lbs you’ll drop a size but that really only applies to those in the healthy weight range & dropping say from a US size 12 - 10. If you’re smaller it takes less weight loss & vice versa. Your dad will be changing his thinking in another month or so. Keep up your great work.

And …. You will have some pain & disconfirm but this passes in a few days. Don’t be surprised if you’re constipated or have unpleasant diarrhoea. The diarrhoea will pass but the constipation will remain. You may have nausea & may bring up something you ate/drank. Listen to your body while you are recovering & healing. If it says to rest today, rest. If it say you’re low in energy today, don’t push yourself to exercise. If it says it doesn’t like the taste or smell of something try something else (this can last a few weeks or a few months). Your tummy is sensitive while it is healing so treat it gently. Follow your plan. And don’t worry if you don’t get all your protein & fluid in as long as you’re close - it gets easier to do as you progress. And if something seems odd to you, contact your surgeon or their team. All the best.

Your weight loss is never a perfectly straight downward line. It zigs & zags girls up & down. Stalls, hormonal fluctuations, fluid retention, constipation, diarrhoea, etc. all affect our weight. Last month I was retaining so much fluid due to some very high humidity I couldn’t put my rings on. Took three days to pee it all out & get back to my usual weight range. We all have a natural fluctuation too. I mean we don’t eat the exact same thing, pee & poop the same volume & do the exact same activity every day. Stick to your plan & you’ll be fine.

I third it. It may be some time before you are allowed to eat some of those foods certainly while you are losing. The time while you are losing is a great opportunity to break old habits, cravings & food preferences & to find alternatives to your traditional food choices. Also many find their taste buds change too so don’t buy up big as you may find when you try them they taste disgusting. Carefully read nutrition panels not just for protein, carb, sugar content but also the specific ingredients. For example no sugar products usually mean no added sugar but rely on artificial sweeteners (some find they upset them after surgery especially the sugar alcohols) & fruit juices/purées which still feed your desire for sweet & you don’t know how much they use. Look to low processed foods & raw ingredients. Try to prep more food yourself so you have better control over the ingredients & how you cook it. Look for & try other foods you can snack on & not just a high processed ‘healthier’ version of a something you always ate like chips. Not saying don’t have them but be very conscious of portions & frequency. They can be useful to have on hand & if travelling. I always have baked fava beans or chick peas, hummus & rice crackers in my kitchen for when my young nieces & nephews or friends pop by. When losing I got in 50-60g protein every day without any protein enriched processed foods (except yoghurt) or protein supplements/shakes. I get in 60-70g now. In saying all that you will find your own way, what suits your body & it’s needs & your lifestyle.

Check with your dietician to see what your plan recommends. Some people are allowed bread or bread alternatives relatively early out (but usually as the protein, then vegetables then only if you are able as @Jeanniebug mentioned). I still don’t eat bread at almost four years out. I’ve tried the odd bite & it just sits heavily in my tummy. So you may be allowed to eat it but physically can’t. I get all my carbs from low processed rolled oats, vegetables & multigrain crackers. Don’t miss bread or similar products at all.

The withdrawal from caffeine, sugar, etc. can be awful. Headaches, shakes, cold sweats, …. and the craving for them can be greater. Thankfully the first week is usually the worst. My surgeon recommends different diets for different patients but the all shake diet is known as hell week in his office. I’d done the shake diet twice before (two shake meals & one low carb, low fat meat & vegetable/salad meal) so I was much relieved when the dietician said I was to do keto for the two weeks. No calorie requirement or macro goals just high fat, high protein, low carb, low sugar. (She also said keto was a good way to kick start my weight loss but not as a long term diet.) I lost about 5kgs.

Try a donut cushion which has the hole in the centre so there is no pressure at all on your tail bone. This is where your butt pain originates.

Our weight loss is never a consistently straight downward line on a graph. It goes up & down, zigs & zags, has peaks & valleys. Much like the fluctuations we all have when we maintain our weight - no one ever weighs the exact same weight every single day. It could be this same natural fluctuation (hormones, water retention, constipation, etc.). It could be a stall as we can experience a number of them. And your rate of weight loss slowly but surely slows as you progress. Have a chat with your dietician about the timings of your meals. It may be having an impact 🤷🏻‍♀️. There’s no one way of eating which works for everyone. Personally I eat more often as the day progresses & consequently eat later (I have lunch at 4pm & dinner at around 6/6:30) but I also don’t eat after 8pm. It works for me.

Fluids go through your digestive system much more quickly. Plus a lot of nerve endings were cut during the surgery & take time to heal which is why portion control is even more important from when you begin purées. When you’re more healed your full or had enough signals (be careful they can be different to those you are used to) will begin to kick in. There’s a great video that shows how fluids flush solid foods through your tummy reducing our absorption of nutrients which is why we are advised not to drink 30 minutes before & after eating. This isn’t it but it shows the same thing & also helps understand how fast fluids go through our smaller tummy. And yes you’ll have days when it’s more difficult to meet your goals & others when you reach them easily. Your plan of two weeks per stage is pretty common. I was told 1/4 - 1/3 cup from purée.

Remember when everyone hung their knickers & bras on the inside of the clothes line so the neighbours couldn’t see them? (Or may be you’re all much younger than me & never had clothes lines to dry your clothing. Lol!)

While many plans say to avoid caffeine, green & herbal teas are often allowed but check with your team. Eventually caffeine can be reintroduced. I gave it up some years back (almost 20 yrs I think) because it began to mess terribly with my sleep which was already bad. I switched to green tea but usually only have one cup (albeit a very large mug every day). They often say green tea will help with weight loss - didn’t me 😁 - but I think it is if you drink it instead of eating or don't eat anything with it.

It acts as a distraction to your head hunger. You sip it slowly which allows time for the urge to eat to pass (head hunger doesn’t last real hunger does). Tea (black, green or herbal) tends to have a calming/soothing effect so if emotions are behind your desire to eat it can help with that too.

I had a period of time I was ‘doughy’ in the head. Poor concentration, etc. I put it down to the surgery (anaesthetic can do odd things), reduced calorie intake, low energy & tiredness & low blood pressure (was pretty woopsy woo at times). It improved over a month or so. Oh, & are you on any anti nausea meds? They can often make you forgetful … well they do me. I suffer from vertigo & had a bad bout so was taking stemitol frequently for two days. Returned to work & a man started chatting to me in the lift. I had to ask him who he was & it turned out we’d had a two hour meeting only three days before & there was only three of us in the meeting. 😱 Felt so terrible.