Arabesque

I agree with going slow with raw vegetable. I didn’t do salads for a few months though I could eat cucumber (peeled) pretty early out. Lettuce leaves, spinach, rocket, etc, can be too coarse. When I started salads I used iceberg lettuce only. I ate a lot of different cooked vegetables from soft foods. Watch how you cook your meats to avoid drying them out. Poaching, steaming, roasting, braising, slow cooking, is a good place to begin. And buy tender cuts. Like use chicken thighs not breast. Cook steak to medium rare. Have gravies, sauces, etc. to keep your meals moist. Continue to keep your bites small. I still cut my food into bite sizes pieces before I start to eat when I’m at home. Don’t load your cutlery with both protein & vegetables - one or the other. I could eat any red meats, poultry or seafood but some struggle with certain meats at first. Best advice is go slowly and never give up on anything. Try it again in a week or so or try a different cut or cooking it a different way.

In the beginning your tummy can be extra sensitive & sometime just pernickety. It can like something one day but not the next & a few days later it’s fine again. Or your tummy or the temporary changes to your taste &/or smell may make some foods difficult to eat. It may as simple as the food tasting or smelling awful, or it may not sit well/heavily. It may cause nausea or you may regurgitate it back. Worse case, especially if it’s too coarse or dry, you can experience your restriction then the foamies. Just depends & is individual. Usually intolerances are temporary though there may be an odd thing you’ll avoid long term. I love vegetables but I couldn’t tolerate many of my favourites at all - tasted awful then about a month later they were delicious again. I still find oily fish like salmon & trout unpleasant - just don’t sit well. Actually could eat smoked salmon for about a month & then nope no more. I can occasionally eat a little salmon as sashimi. So it can be the specific food or how it’s been prepared that upsets you. I can eat pork without problem except if it’s too dry then I get the foamies. Foods like chicken breast, steak or eggs can cause problems at first for some. Some develop temporary food sensitivities too like to lactose. But don’t give up on any food. Give it a break before trying it again or prepare it in a different way. Your restriction feels like a tight band around your chest. Like something is stuck. Makes me want to thump my chest. The goal is not to feel this. (I only feel it if I eat too quickly/not mindfully, or eat something too dry or coarse.) Don’t eat until you are full but until you’ve had what you need not what you want (do you need the next bite or just want it). We’re advised to eat slowly to allow the message you’re full to get through. But if you eat until you feel full you’ve likely had too much. That’s why portion sizes are helpful though you may find one day you can eat all your portion but the next day you can’t. Many find their full signals are different too. Some sneeze or their nose runs. The gurgling is just your tummy doing what it’s supposed to - digesting food. Most times a gurgling, rumbling tummy is not a signal you are hungry.

For my birthday eve dinner I took two Tasmanian friends to a fabulous restaurant that cooks over open fire (yes, more dining out). Thought I’d share these two mouthwatering dishes. Buttermilk waffle with a cheese, raisin & thyme purée - two bites size & I had one. And the most delicious side dish ever - cabbage with lacto Koji (fermented crème fraiche), buttermilk, cashews & dill. The crunchy burnt bits just seem to make everything more yummy. (And the low lightening makes everyone, especially those about to turn a year older, look gorgeous -lol!)

Yes it does make sense. I’ve had times when I’ve shut down to protect myself but I’ve been able to work my out of it. You may find you’ll never manage your hunger & eating until you open up to your emotions again. You may find therapy very helpful to guide & support you work your way through your emotions & what lead you to burying them. A therapist will also help you develop strategies to manage your feelings too. Many have found therapy extremely helpful. Your surgeon or medical team should be able to recommend someone who has experience with bariatric patients & disordered eating. Plain water can almost seem too heavy to drink after surgery. I was a big water drinker pre surgery but for months after it was a struggle. I was able to drink green tea so I started drinking a large mug everyday after I got home from hospital. A few months later I also added a large glass of sparkling water. I’d sip it over a few hours alternating with plain water so it would be pretty flat. I also used to open the bottle when I put it in the fridge so it wouldn’t be as fizzy when I went to drink it. The minerally taste was a nice change to plain water.

Changing your thinking isn’t easy unfortunately. Boy how I wished it was. Sometimes though I’d have a sudden realisation which changed how I looked at eating in certain situations. Like realising going out with friends wasn’t about eating but about being with my friends. I started listening more closely to what we were talking about, initiating conversations & more closely considering their reactions. In many ways not focussing on what I was eating has built better relationships with my friends. My eating & drinking less doesn’t stop them eating & drinking either. I developed an aversion to a lot of fatty, overly sweet foods, takeaway, fast foods & snacks. It doesn’t even have to be in front of me. I cringe watching fast food ads on tv, images on social media, etc. Though I throughly enjoy cooking & baking shows but I guess they’re not about excess but moderation. This was very helpful my first year. Others experience this as well. I’m also a do I need it or want it person. Coupled with that is why do I want it. Do I want it out of habit (like when you want chips & slushies when you get fuel)? Because I’m bored? Because I’m sad, angry, happy, frustrated, scared? Etc. And the big one: am I actually hungry? Once you know the why you can work out strategies to manage it. Want a slushie? Get water. Bored? Find an activity to do (read, go for a walk, play a game, craft, …) And so forth. It all takes time. And don’t beat yourself up if you give in. As long as it’s a rare slip it’s okay. Recognise it & move forward.

Something to watch is while you usually have perfect cholesterol, you may find that changes while you’re losing. Like oestrogen being released into your body from your fat as you lose weight the same is true of cholesterol. My cholesterol wasn’t perfect but it wasn’t bad just over the high side of normal but it seemed to always be about that regardless if what I weighed so my doctor was okay with it. When I was losing it went up & up & up & my liver function went weird too (also common). So while the keto high fat diet may be something you consider in maintenance, the high fat aspect may be too much while you are losing. My dietician advised keto was fine in the short term & good for kick starting weight loss but it wasn’t really sustainable. (My pre surgery diet was keto.) I did some of my own reading & decided I agreed. Do I eat fat? Yes. Do I eat high fat? No. I get a lot from animal products (meat, dairy) but I don’t add a lot more (been using the same 500g pack of butter for 8 months). Some salad dressing, a little oil if cooking. But then I’ve never enjoyed fattier foods anyway. I look at it as generally a little of everything in moderation & balance. But you have to discover what works best for you in the long term.

No you’re not alone. You’ve made big changes to what you eat & are grieving the loss of food you used to comfort & soothe & bring you happiness. Because you can’t have that food you want it even more. There’s likely a degree of fear too of the unknown because you don’t know what to expect pre & post surgery & what it will mean fir you. Plus your body is as stressed as your mind hence you being exhausted, depressed & anxious. Do you have a therapist or were you recommended a therapist as part of your pre surgical approval? Many find therapy very helpful as they work through all the head & emotional issues that rise up through the pre & post surgical process. If not, ask your surgeon or medical team for a recommendation as soon as possible especially with how you are currently feeling. All the best.

I was a low calorie intake - barely 900 at 6 months & at goal. I eat about 1400 now. But I was not actually ever told a calorie goal. Just portion size, protein & fluid goals & of course food choices recommendations. Plus I worked at establishing new eating behaviours & eating only what I needed not what I wanted. I just checked my calories now & again out of my own interest. Best is to ask your dietician for guidance because we all have our own needs. Like you’ll need more if you’re very active. I’m short, pretty finely built & not very active so my caloric needs will be very different to yours. I could never have been physically able to eat more than I was while losing either.

Also your body is releasing a lot of oestrogen in to your blood stream, which was stored in your fat, as you’re losing stirring up lots of emotions & other issues. Also food you may have depended upon for comfort has been taken away from you. This can cause a lot of anxiety &/or depression (grieving what you can’t have or have lost) for some. Some find they have to change medications they successfully took before their bypass because they are not being absorbed in the same way. Slow release are one type that are impacted. It may be worth having a conversation with your prescribing doctor. Drops in blood sugar after surgery isn’t uncommon & usually improves. Try taking an electrolyte drink with you when undertaking any activity can be helpful. All the best.

As everyone has said it is to support the healing of your tummy & not to stress & strain it. Remember all those sutures & staples holding your tummy together. Think how you would protect a large wound & sutures on your arm or leg & how long that would take to heal. Purées are thicker which is why they are the stage after liquids. They should still be runny but not watery like the liquid stage. With soft foods think slow cooked, fall of the bone tender, minced meats, braised, etc. Foods that needs some chewing but not a lot. Think how much work your tummy has to do to digest thicker & then more solid denser foods. Plans differ but they also have a lot of similarities too. Some surgeons, like mine, tailor the pre & post diets to their patient. Some have specific requirements based upon their experiences. The best advice is always to follow the one you were given. But of course you can ask your surgeon & dietician why your plan is as it is & you may be able to negotiate slight adjustments based upon your recovery & needs. Yes, some plans recommend avoiding certain foods & liquids to not aggravate your healing. After surgery, we tend to produce extra stomach acid, hence why many are prescribed PPIs for a period after surgery. Carbonated drinks, caffeine, etc. can stir up the acid in your tummy causing discomfort & reflux symptoms. We’re told to avoid foods like rice, pasta & bread because they tend to swell in your tummy, filling you quickly. Remember your focus is on getting in your protein & that can be challenging enough in the post surgical stages. These foods also have little nutritional value. Consuming nutritionally dense food is important while you can eat so little to ensure you’re getting in the vitamins, minerals, etc. your body needs. While losing many of us are advised to follow the rule to eat your protein first, then vegetables as you can, then high fibre carbs only if you are able. If you can only eat 1/4 - 1/3 cup of purée & soft food to begin like I was, why eat food that fills you without giving you the nutrients your body needs. It also gets you starting to think about your food choices & the quality of the food you are eating. I still follow a lot of this: protein first, nutritionally dense foods, etc. Foods like peas & potatoes are considered higher in sugar & in starch (which converts more quickly to sugar). They’re not included in keto diets. Not saying you’re on a keto diet but you’ll notice influences from lots of different diets & eating styles on your food recommendations while losing. The reason why we’re advised to avoid dried fruit is you tend to eat more dried fruit than you would eat them as fresh. We can easily eat several pieces of dried fruits but remember 2 dried apricots is 1 apricot, a prune is a plum. Their sweetness is concentrated too in their dried form so you are continuing to feed your desire for sugar. Same with juice. Honey is just another firm of sugar. This is an opportunity to break some of your food dependencies & cravings. For many of us lots of foods become super sweet & quite awful to eat too during these first months when our tastebuds become extra sensitive. Many are able to go back to eating small amounts of restricted foods while losing or in maintenance. Personally I still don’t eat potatoes, rice, bread or pasta. I find them too heavy & I feel blah on the odd occasion I’ve tried them since I lost my weight. But that’s me. The first months are the most challenging because the food you likely depended upon to comfort, soothe & make you happy has been taken away from you. So you think about & crave them more. But food doesn’t actually comfort you or make you happy you just think they do. Realising & understanding this is part of the head work we all have to do. This whole process is about breaking poor eating habits, poor food choices & establishing new habits, introducing new foods, etc. & discovering what works best for you. The most restrictive aspects of the diet are only for a short period of time & are to benefit your immediate health & recovery. The long term changes you will choose to make are to enable you to maintain a lower weight & live a happier, more active & healthier life long term. Sorry for the 10 000 word response.

It really depends upon your recovery & your surgeon’s requirements. Mine keeps his patients in overnight but because I lived alone he wanted me to stay a second night. The morning I was to be discharged my back went into spasm & I was in a lot of pain (tears running down my face) so he had me stay a third night. Went home the next day & the rest of my recovery went smoothly.

You’re not alone in your thinking. I’d say everyone of us looked in the mirror one day & wondered how we got to the point of obesity & felt we had lost some of ourselves. Whether it was through choices we made or didn’t make, genetic predisposition, medications, health issues, psychological issues or just life we all ended up obese. Some things were totally out of our control & others were things we could have controlled or changed. Just like you all of us wanted to do something about it. To take some of that control back. To get our lives & ourselves back. Don't be hard on yourself. It’s not going to change the past & your obesity but the surgery can help you change your future. Celebrate you making the decision to have the surgery, the changes you’re already starting to make & the potential for your future. Remember the serenity prayer: Grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference. Grab this opportunity with both hands and embrace every opportunity it offers. All the best.

This has become a problem for me too - every long boot is too large around the calf & short boots gape at the top. I can put both hands down the sides of some. I finally found some stretch suede long boots last year - not nice ones but the best I could find.

Sorry you have been unwell. Apparently, nausea is a symptom of Ecoli. Not as common but still a symptom. So maybe the Ecoli is the cause of your nausea & not your bypass??? Regardless, I hope they can treat the Ecoli & can resolve the nausea. https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/e-coli/symptoms-causes/syc-20372058

Everything that @The Greater Fool & @catwoman7 said. You’re not failing. It’s something we all experience. Don’t let your worth or feelings of success be dependent upon the number on the scales. That thinking will lead to you sabotaging your success. Your weight loss will never be a consistent straight line. It goes up & down all the time. Our bodies naturally fluctuate (hormonal changes, fluid retention, constipation, diarrhoea, less intake today & a little more tomorrow, activity variations, etc.) & while losing weight, our body experiences periods of stress. It reacts to the stress of the weight loss by stalling. Basically, your body closes the door & hides under the covers for a little while until it’s ready to face the world again. The stall will break when your body is ready & you’ll start losing again.

I believe with bypass you tend to lose more quickly at the beginning but then it slows to a similar rate to sleeve. But people tend to lose more slowly after a revision. I guess because you’ve already had one change with your sleeve & the bypass just changes a bit more. While our new set points will determine a lot of our final weight (where our bodies are happiest & equalises at), you still have to be willing to be dedicated & committed to the program which you learnt after your first experience. The stats say the average weight loss at the three year mark is about 65%+/- of the weight you have to lose with either sleeve or bypass. This takes into consideration the bounce back regain some experience, complacency & changes to your diet to best complement your life, etc. Don’t know what the stats are for revision surgery. Do some lose more than the average stats? Yes. At my lowest I had lost 138% of the weight I had to lose with my sleeve. At three years out now, I weigh a couple of kilos more so am at 129%. I am very careful with my food intake, portions, etc. but I think this is also about the weight my body is happiest at. You’ll lose weight all over your body. You can’t spot lose fat or chose where your body burns fat. It may seem you’re losing weight from certain areas more slowly but it’s usually where you held the most concentration of fat. If you carried a lot of weight on your legs or tummy they might be the slowest place for you to notice loss. All the best.

You beat me @Starwarsandcupcakes. I only have 4 jars of peanut paste (butter) in my fridge. 😁😁

I think a lot of crackers are slider foods. Rice crackers esp brown rice ones are for me as are Jatz (which are like ritz). Are you eating them for the crunch or the salt? The other consideration is considering how little you are able to eat at the moment is it worth filling up on a cracker which has very little nutritious value to you at the moment. Personally I would leave them until at least you start on solid food - crunchy, crisp foods with bite are on the food to avoid for a while (even if they can turn to mush if you chew them a lot before swallowing). But definitely speak with your dietiican first. I was able to add crackers in maintenance but was advised they had to be multi or whole grain ones by my dietician.

My freezer is full of single serves of meals I’ve cooked. I sometimes think of it as my takeaway supply. Don’t want to cook - just check the freezer & I have a meal in a couple of minutes. I have at least two backups of foods I eat regularly in the pantry too. Like two bags of seed mix, rolled oats, barley, condiments, etc. There are several tins of tomatoes, lentils, etc, too. And I have like 8 packets of the multigrain crackers I like as I can’t get them at my usual shop so I buy in bulk. Think some of it is in response to the lockdowns the past two years though when it was hard to find some items (still erratic supplies of some items at times). I’m not getting caught out again.

I realised spoke a lot about eating in my second & into my third year & wonder if it was just me coming to terms with everything & wanting to talk it out. I do like to verbalise my thinking 😁. I notice my friend who had surgery a year after me is now talking about her food choices a lot more too. I wonder if it’s just something some of us go through. Could some of you thinking you’re focussed on eating be for the same reason: learning & coming to terms with what works for you? Discovering what you need & can eat to maintain your weight & health. I focus a bit on my protein simply because of my absorption issue & I am always conscious of portion size. And I freaked out a bit when I gained a couple of kg earlier this year. It took me a little while to come to terms with why (increased protein intake & a higher dose of HRT) & accept & manage it. But you know if it’s just learning & understanding or if it’s you being obsessive in your thinking. All the best Sue.

Yeah, I never understood that rule either. Fortunately I was never told to do it just to take small bites. I used a teaspoon - just like feeding a baby without the need for a bib 😉. Chewing a lot certainly helps with slowing your eating & being more mindful about your eating but so to does just putting down your cutlery & sitting back from the table between bites. If you keep your food tender, moist with gravies & sauces, eat slowly & take small bites you should be able to swallow without issue (discomfort, food getting stuck, restriction, etc.) which is likely the real reason behind the chewing a lot guideline. I still eat slowly - 30-60minutes. If it gets too cold I just reheat it in the microwave. Easy.

So sorry you have been going through this, Sue. You’re not alone. I also have less energy then I did before. The energy drops come from low blood pressure & low heart rate like you. I’ve wondered if I could have bradycardia too or be close to it. Plus throw in some random hypoglycaemic episodes & it can make for an interesting day. My BP usually sits around high 50s - 70s over low 40s - high 50s. My heart rate is usually in the 60s but can be lower. When I had the skin graft on my thumb last year, the nurses were very concerned with how low my BP was & my pulse. They even asked if I was an athlete which made me, my friends & family laugh. Nope, just seems to be me I told them. A difference may be that I used to experience this whenever I was at a lower weight (60-65kg) too but not as severely or as frequently as now. My friends used to laugh back then when I said I don’t exercise much because I could have these drops where I’d almost collapse. They thought it was just a joke excuse until they were with me when it happened. Boy did they panic. So I believe this is really a pre existing condition for me & I experience it all the time now because I weigh less. (A tendency towards low blood pressure & pressure drops does run in my family.) If I put on 10kg it would probably improve but I don’t want to put on weight. I too was always that person at work before others & still there after most left, taking on additional work, helping others do their work, working on weekends & rostered days off, …. And yes I was very happy with how I worked & my commitment to my job & employer. So I get you feel you’re letting people down now. But I look back & realise how many actually took advantage of my work ethic: colleagues & bosses. I also realised I gave up a lot of my free time, turned down social events & sacrificed my personal life for work & for nothing. Didn’t get the promotions, the pay rises or even acknowledgement. It was like they just expected I would do it. At least your commitment & efforts are recognised. I get a bit angry & sad about it when I look back can’t you tell. It contributed to my decision not to work anymore last year at 56. I’ve learnt how to manage the low energy, BP, etc. easier because I don’t work though. I pace myself during the day & I’ll take breaks if out. I’m careful when I stand & make sure I have something close by I can grab if my vision goes. If I am doing anything more active, I take hydralyte with me for an energy boost. I don’t always remember & sometimes my day works against me but I do the best I can in the situation. But like you, I don’t regret my surgery at all. I’m so very happy I did it & wouldn’t change a thing.

If anything seems strange, unusual or not as you would expect or were advised, give your medical team a call. Always better to be safe. Developing a lactose sensitivity isn’t uncommon & for most it’s just temporary. So it’s a good idea to try some lactose free products to rule it out. Some whey products still contain lactose so you do need to ensure the whey products are lactose free as well. My lactose sensitivity used to cause stomach cramping then a diarrhoea attack which would occur usually an hour or two later. I didn’t have heart palpitations, cold sweats or exhaustion like dumping does so I would doubt it was that. Plus you didn’t eat anything that was high sugar or high fat. While the hormonal flush you get as oestrogen is released into your blood stream from the fat you’re losing (oestrogen is stored in fat), can cause crazy pms symptoms & periods I don’t think that was the cause but then you never know. We all react differently.

I never thought about losing weight on my fingers during the process which was a bit odd because I knew my fingers had got fatter with the rest of me. As a tip, I had a couple of rings I couldn’t get resized down enough to fit my smaller fingers because of the detailed work on the shoulders & how the ring was set. I got them reduced to as small as they could go & then bought some of those clear spiral ring resizers from Amazon. That way I can still wear the rings without fear of them slipping off. Also helpful while waiting to get your rings resized too.

I did room temp water first then added hot water to the chocolate flavoured shakes. Pretended they were hot chocolate without the marshmallows. Took a lot of pretending though. 😁