Arabesque

It’s time to put you (& your children) first. If your partner is not supportive now he won’t be any time in the future. Abuse is not always physical & cooking dinner does not make up for his hurtful, harmful words. You obviously are not happy & as @Hop_Scotch said you deserve much better than this.

The hunger urges do come back any where from around 6 to 12 months +/-. As @SkinnyMingo1408 said the surgery is a tool & you can’t rely on the the temporary benefits like reduction of hunger & appetite which don’t last. The honeymoon period is an opportunity to establish new eating habits, introduce new more nutritious foods & cooking methods, reflect on what drives you to eat, etc. Is what you feel real hunger or head hunger? Is there a reason you’re hungry (late for a meal, ate a small portion at a previous meal, missed a meal, been very active)? Are you wanting to eat a specific food, texture or flavour? (This is head hunger not real hunger.) If you are eating regularly, are eating nutrient dense food in recommended portion sizes you shouldn’t be feeling so much hunger you have trouble controlling the urge & are driven to eat. Do you still measure & track everything you eat? Have a chat with your dietician to review your food choices, portion sizes & calorie intake to ensure you on track. Maybe finding a therapist will help too. Many find therapy very beneficial in understanding their eating habits, what drives them to eat & the reason behind them. The head work really is the hardest part of weight loss.

My thought would be no because they’ll be dealing with a different part of your anatomy & therefore you would need different surgeons with different specialities. They would likely be able to use some of the same laparoscope sites for the surgery so maybe no additional scarring.

Constipation is very common. Find a good soluble non swelling fibre supplement - I used Benefibre - & add it to your diet every day. Add more vegetables to your diet as you’re able, look to whole & multi grains in the carbs you can have & ensure you’re meeting your fluid goal. And try to keep on top if the constipation so it doesn’t go on for so long you require more extreme treatments, and you can avoid the daily discomfort & pain when you finally go. Personally I took a stool softener if I hadn’t gone by day three. It was enough to get things moving again for me. It usually continues until you are eating more & a wider variety of foods so when you are close to your weight stabilising. I still have occasional episodes of constipation (had one this week 😉).

Did the drink also contain artificial sweeteners specifically sugar alcohols (xylitol, maltitol, erythritol, etc. - those that end in ‘ol’)? These are renown for causing nausea, diarrhoea, bloating & other digestive problems. Many find after surgery, they can’t tolerate these sweeteners after surgery. Of course your tummy can be sensitive & fussy in the first couple of months after surgery (like a petulant two year old). A food or drink you can eat/drink one day causes you problems the next: tummy says no, not today. Doesn’t mean you won’t ever be able to have that food or drink. Give it a week or two & try them again. I remember easily eating a soft well cooked carrot one day but the next up it came. Tried it the next week & all was fine, never had an issue again.

Welcome & congrats on your upcoming surgery. You picked one of the questions for which there is no definitive answer. Some will say yes & others no because surgeons have different plans & requirements. Best advice is to ask your surgeon or their team & then follow their advice. Same with what foods you can or can’t eat & when, how long each of your staged return to eating phases last, whether you can use a straw or not & so on. Nothing stopping you reducing or stopping your caffeine intake if you want as it can irritate your delicate post surgery healing tummy. May be look to reducing things you consume a lot or crave like carbonated drinks (one you will have to avoid for a while or forever depending on how you react), sweet things, etc. so withdrawals symptoms while on the pre surgery & staged return to eating post surgery diet aren’t quite as severe & hard to manage. To update your profile information using the web based version not the app, click the three line icon in the top right hand corner, select account & then profile. You can update your current weight as you progress by scrolling to almost the bottom of any page to the together we have lost section. All the best.

Estrogen is stored in your fat so as you lose weight that estrogen is released into your blood stream. This estrogen flush can make you more fertile (many surgeons suggest doubling down on contraceptives), longer/shorter/heavier/lighter periods, more or fewer PMS symptoms, acne, headaches, etc. In my case my menopausal symptoms disappeared for a while (came back though ☹️). The surgery & weight loss can also cause other seemingly unusual effects For example, many see their cholesterol &/or bilirubin levels rise, liver function to be off, etc. It can even cause gall stones to develop. These are all temporary effects & will eventually decrease until your weight loss stabilises or slows & they disappear. Of course if the persist or seem extreme, contact your doctor.

I didn’t exercise in the traditional sense & I lost all my weight & more. I made my everyday tasks more active. Walked up & down escalators, took stairs not lifts, parked further away from where I was going, took the long way round, made multiple trips up & down my stairs even if I could do it in one trip, etc. Now I do some stretches, use resistance bands, some wall pushups & sit ups. Mainly for my back - have oozing discs. Honestly what I do takes about 20 mins max over a three or four separate sessions. Wouldn’t burn 30 calories. 😆. Exercising accounts for only about 10% of the weight you have to lose. So want to lose 100lbs, exercise will only account for about 10lbs. Of course there are many benefits to exercising. There are lots of low impact, gentle exercises designed for various physical limitations available online which you may be able to do without causing a flare up. Give them a go & see how you go.

Yep & i still do. I’m the one running down the freezer, meat & dairy aisles in the supermarket. I get so cold it’s like it almost burns. It’s the lack of insulation (fat) and your body doesn’t have to work as hard when you’re doing every day tasks or being more active.

Wow this is really surprising. Solariums (sun beds) were banned in almost all Australian states more than 15 years ago (the last state ban occurred more recently) because of the increased risk of skin cancers (a 60-75% increase) from using them.

Whoo hoo! Hope you did a happy dance. Congratulations.

I second @Jeanniebug’s suggestion of seeking help from a therapist. Many find them very helpful in identifying the why behind overeating & head hunger & can help you develop ways to better manage the cause & effects. The suggestions of measuring your food & drinks are a good place to focus. Set a timer on your phone for a couple of minutes so you only take a single bite or single sip at a time. I still ask myself if I need the next bite or do I just want it & find this helpful for really thinking about my eating. Working out what your real hunger cues are will help too. I feel restless. I think something is wrong but don’t know what until I realise it’s hunger. I never crave a specific food, flavour or texture with real hunger. And this is a legitimate reason I am hungry (missed a meal, didn’t eat much at the previous meal, my calorie intake for the day is low,…). Real hunger doesn’t really disappear. You can distract a lot of your head hunger away. To distract yourself, try going for a walk, craft, garden, call a friend, check social media or this forum, clean out a cupboard, read, have a cup of tea or another drink, etc. Try to work out why you want to eat. Are you bored, stressed, angry, sad, hormonal? Are you wanting to eat out of habit - because of a time (lunch time, snack time) or activity (watching tv, socialising).

Nobody wants to regain weight. Though sometimes it happens. It could be our body’s set point & therefore our weight settling. The second/third year bounce back regain does happen. Cravings, boredom, emotional issues are always there in our heads driving us to eat especially for us. If your way of eating or exercising is too restrictive & not sustainable. Complacency. Health issues. Medications & just life in general can all contribute to a possible regain. I accepted it might happen. I also decided I’d do everything I could to reduce my chance of it happening though knowing some things would be beyond my control. I made changes & have stuck to them. I still watch what I eat & how much I eat. I randomly check calories & nutritional value. Monitor my fluid & protein intake every day. I prepare & cook most of my food avoiding high processed foods & prepared/ready ingredients or meals. It’s not difficult, restrictive or limiting. It’s just what I do - habits, routines & a sustainable way of eating. And yes, I have treats just not often. I’m 3.75 years out & I had a small but rapid regain (2kgs) at about 2.5 years. Wasn’t happy but accepted it had happened. Then my doctor suggested it & some other symptoms might be because I wasn’t absorbing my HRT meds. Changed to a patch & she was right. The weight is slowly dropping off without me doing anything (& that included over Christmas). This is my opinion, my experience & what works for me & my life. Others will have different experiences & suggestions especially those who are further out than me. All the best.

I presume your prolonged restricted diet is due to your complication & is to support a longer healing time. Remember this is temporary and as the weeks pass you’ll be able to eat a more varied range of foods & textures. After all you’ve been thorough though feeling down is to be expected. Certain foods are best avoided while you’re losing (rice & bread because they swell in your tummy, popcorn because it’s a slider, hotdog because of the bread & fatty sausage) but once you’ve stabilised you can eat these foods again with just frequency & portion size a consideration. Unless of course there’s an issue with you eating them. Like I still can’t eat bread, rice & pasta as they sit too heavily in my tummy - don’t miss them & I used to eat them a lot. There are always alternatives.

I had mild reflux before my surgery which I managed with dietary changes & rarely needed meds (couple of times a year). It was not related to my weight or a hernia. My surgeon was willing to do the sleeve because my reflux was so mild. I still have it. I lost a couple of symptoms but gained some others & I need meds everyday. If you are already taking medication every day now to manage your gerd I’d think bypass may be your better option. Worth a conversation with your surgeon. Dumping, though less common, can happen with the sleeve too. It can be managed with simple dietary choices once you’ve worked out what sets you off (sugar or fats). Some even find they can occasionally have a small amounts of these foods without issue as they’ve discovered their trigger points. As others said, any absorption issue may just need a swap of medication such as not taking slow release meds. Just discuss with your surgeon & prescribing doctor. I noticed in your other post you have fibromyalgia. Though you’re not a medication for it currently, you will need to discuss future options with your doctor even with a sleeve as you can’t take anti inflammatories (NSAIDS). I developed an absorption issue after I had my gall removed (2 years after my sleeve) - protein & my HRT meds. I just upped my protein intake, take creons to help with absorption & went to a HRT patch. Pretty easy really.

I’d look for vegetarian & vegan options just to be sure. Like the plant based protein shakes & powders & for clear fluids protein waters. Oh, there are vegan jellies you could try too.

My hand’s up too. I was almost 54 when I had sleeve surgery. Almost 4 years out & been doing well. Pretty stable with my weight too.

Still keep things fairly soft, moist & tender. Slow cooked or medium rare to medium meats. Try the most tender cuts of meats like chicken thigh not breast. I made a lot of mince based dishes (easy to portion & freeze too), hearty soups, casseroles, stews, omelettes & sausages for a couple of weeks.

I never used a bariatric cook book either. There were some recipes in a book about bariatric surgery my surgeon gave me & I did make one recipe a few times (a tinned fish frittata muffin thing - tasty & I often swapped ingredients for variety). But I’m not someone who uses a lot of recipes. May start with one for a new idea but rarely follow them exactly. Took things I usually made & just prepared them using healthier ingredients & better cooking methods. Though there wasn’t much to change as I was pretty healthy in the meals I prepared myself. Used spray olive oil or non stick pans or cooked some meats in the oven or grill so need for oil. Already didn’t use prepared sauces & such like pasta sauces. I kept things pretty simple as it was easier to work out protein, other nutrient & caloric content.

Every surgeon is different. And it is always best to follow your surgeon’s requirements. Of course you could negotiate with them but if they say no it’s no. I wasn’t told I could or couldn’t use straws. I used them at times as they helped me sip more carefully. Vitamins can be a challenge - taste, being able to swallow them or not, etc. Buy a single bottle at a time as you may have to purchase another brand or format. Your surgeon should advise which vitamins you’ll need to take. Subsequent blood test will inform what vitamins you need or don’t need to take Some do. I wasn’t tested. As long as the soup is lump free your fine. Think team soups, broths, consommés. Invest in a small strainer (I used a tea strainer) to ensure the soup was completely smooth. You could also strain the broth from wonton soups, ramen noodles, or meat & vegetable soups - just be careful I showered the next day (felt so good). It was also one of the hospital tests to ensure I was able to go home. Spare knickers & pjs (nicer to wear your own after surgery), basic toiletries, phone, iPad, chargers, lip balm. I didn’t have a drain. You’ll probably sleep a lot after the surgery. I couldn’t concentrate to read or watch a streamed program for days after. All the best with your surgery.

Just maintaining has become it’s own reward for me. After years of seeing the scale go back up every single time I lost weight, actually keeping a fairly stable weight makes me feel great & keeps me motivated. While it’s really nice to have people comment on your weight loss & how great you look now, it’s true they don’t happen as often as the years pass. It”s why the little things that happen & remind me of what I can do now which I wouldn’t or couldn’t before are more important to me. (Though I can’t say someone telling me I’m slim, need a smaller size or similar doesn’t make me glow with happiness I am a vain human.) Most recently, jumping on a trampoline with my young nieces & nephew at Christmas was a reminder of what I’ve achieved & why I did it. It might be things like realising or reminding yourself you’re more confident in how you hold yourself, dress, makeup or hair styles or in how you interact with others. It could be a physical achievement like how far you can run or cycle. Or life changes you’ve made - gone back to school, changed careers, dating, etc. These are the sort of things that remind me that the surgery & subsequent changes i’ve made have been so worth it. Personally I don’t want to forget where I was because it helps me appreciate where I am now more. And yes, I continue to be careful about what & how much I eat & weigh myself several times a week. It keeps me on track & honest. The main battle may be over but I need to remain vigilant of possible stealth attacks from my own head: old habits, complacency, etc.

You could try warming most drinks or drinking them at room temp. Will be some trial & error to see which ones you can tolerate. I even used to make my shakes on warm water or microwave them (tried to convince myself the chocolate one was a hot chocolate - still tasted pretty hideous). I also diluted shakes, soups, etc. too to get in extra fluid. Also give an electrolyte drink a go . I’d make up a bottle of hydralyte every day, again doubled the required water, & took with me to work to give me an extra boost of energy during the day. There are quite a few no calorie drinks out there you could try. Ask your dietician for recommendations too.

Oh you poor thing. Hope the biopsies come back okay & they can work out why this has happened.

Ah now that’s a complicated question & there is no definitive answer. There’ll be those who tell you sleeve is the best or bypass is the way to go, etc. The thing to remember is that was the surgery that was best for them. And yes there’ll be those who say they wished they’d chosen another surgery. There are some issues that can make one surgery a much better option over another. For example if you have pre existing reflux/gerd sleeve is not for you or you have a lot of weight to lose bypass may be a better choice. There are other pre existing conditions that may need to be taken into consideration too. As well as factors like your weight loss & gain history, lifestyle, eating style & preferences, etc. Best advice is to do lots of reading & gather information like this yourself & then have a long conversation with your surgeon & see what they recommend based on your medical status, general health & with consideration of the factors mentioned above & then make your decision. As for the long term effects of, I presume maintaining your weight, it really comes down to you. The changes you’re willing to make to your eating, how compliant you are in the long term with your new way of eating, the activity you choose to add to your lifestyle, etc. The surgery is a tool & it’s success depends on how you use it & the sustainability of the changes you make. My surgeon recommended a sleeve after going through everything with me & answering my questions. I was leaning that way anyway as I didn’t want as major a change as with bypass. My weight had only become a serious obese issue with menopause before that I bounced between a BMI of 23 healthy & 29 overweight). I had some existing food sensitivities. I dislike taking medications. Didn’t have any co morbidities - my general health was good. Was fairly controlled about a lot of my eating & was aware of food choices, portion sizes, etc. Didn’t want the increased possibility of dumping (already had random episodes of hypoglycaemia) or absorption issues (especially calcium & iron as a menopausal woman). And yes, it was the right choice for me & my situation & needs. I lost all my weight & more. I’m only 3.75yrs out but have pretty much maintained my weight except for a very fast 2kg (4lbs) gain after my gall was removed in June 2021 which reduced my absorption of protein (so made a dietary change) & we also recently discovered my HRT. I had lost about 0.5kg of the 2kgs over almost a year but since I went on a HRT patch 3 months ago I’ve lost a kg without trying (Damn hormones - or lack of in my case.) Will be interesting to see if the last 0.5kg goes too & I end up where I was at 49kg. That’s my story anyway. All the best whichever surgery you choose.

I echo the above - it’s likely a stall. As for not for not being able to eat all your advised portion, that’s okay & something we’ve all experienced at times. At the moment you’re still healing & early out so it’s not unusual to not feel hungry, not interested in eating, not wanting to eat all your serve, or to become temporarily sensitive to certain tastes, textures or smells which can effect what or how much you eat. The bigger concern would be if you were eating more than your portion. As long as your meeting or being close to your protein goal you’ll be okay. You’ll find it all gets easier as you progress. As for drinking, is it the taste or texture of what you’re drinking that upsets you? Or do you have discomfort on swallowing? Many of us found warm drinks easier to drink initially - more soothing than cold drinks. I found plain water almost too heavy to drink at first. Try varying what you drink throughout the day. Try a flavoured water (or just add a little lemon or lime juice), protein water, green or herbal tea, yoghurt drinks (make your own by adding milk to your preferred yoghurt), etc. I used to open bottles of sparkling water & let them go flat & drink them too. And ensure you are sipping slowly enough for you. At 3.75yrs I still have leftovers in my fridge from meals I couldn’t finish a few times a week. Last night I had the leftover vegetables & a lamb cutlet I didn’t eat from the night before. Just added another cutlet so I met my goals.