Arabesque

As @catwoman7 said you can’t stop the hair loss you may experience. The hair on your head is already dead & would fall out as part of your usual hair loss cycle. This cycle is accelerated as a result of the surgery, restricted diet, hormonal changes, & general stress to your system. Your new hair is still growing just at its usual rate. Any supplements you take may only strengthen your new hair growth. Try looking for alternatives other than multi vitamin tablets. I found capsules easier to swallow & the coating muted the taste. There are patches (they don’t work for everyone), gummies & some vitamin supplements come in a mouth spray formulation (I take vitamin D/K in winter via a mouth spray - doesn’t really have a taste). Mine are from an Australian company which I don’t believe is available in the US.

I’ll start with your water issue. Our bodies need water/fluids. Keeps our blood flowing & therefore blood pressure lower, aids flushing toxins out of our bodies, aids brain function, reduce headaches, boosts energy levels, flushes bacteria out of our bladders & therefore reduces chance of infection, benefits your skin (dryness & wrinkling), eases constipation, etc. All because you didn’t drink that much fluid before doesn’t mean you weren’t doing the best for your body. In time your body gets used to the amount of fluid you are consuming & you won’t pee quite as often but again peeing is important. Remember feeling thirsty is a danger signal that you are in great need for fluids. You can add herbs & spices to your cooking to help boost flavour if you find that lacking. The period you are losing weight is an opportunity to try different foods, cooking styles, new recipes, etc. & to get used to eating foods that are not high in fats, sugars & salts, synthetic additives & generally eating more cleanly. You could try making your own sauces too so you control the ingredients. It can be helpful to remember the way you ate before did you no favours & lead t you choosing the surgery. Being on your current diet doesn’t mean you can’t go out or socialise with family & friends. It’s about making the best choices you can with options available. It’s not something you do every day but if once in a while you aren’t able to eat 100% of what you should is okay. I went to a Chinese restaurant with my mum & old family friends at around 4 months. I chose chicken & cashews & picked at the chicken & vegetables to my appropriate portion draining off what sauce I could. While everyone was sharing all the dishes I stuck to just mine. I took the leftovers home & we ate it the next day or two. I went to restaurants (casual & fine dining), birthday parties, reunions, general social gatherings,… all while I was losing. If I had to contribute food, I made something I could eat. For example at the reunion I made a zucchini bake. All cause you can’t eat something like Christmas cookies, doesn’t mean you can’t still make & share them with your family. You don’t have to eat them. This will be something that happens after your weight loss too when you work out how you will eat to maintain. I don’t eat cakes, biscuits, sweets, desserts yet today I made banana bread with my nieces & nephew. We had lots of fun & they all ate some & took the rest home. I didn’t care I didn’t eat any & neither did they (more for them 😁). Socialising isn’t only about eating & drinking. It’s really about spending time with people you love & care about. You don’t have to give up on your life.

I’ve been fortunate in that my family has been quietly supportive. No one really says anything & in some cases will offer alternatives. Whenever others are hosting, I don’t make a fuss about what I can or can’t eat just make the best choices I can from the options. I’ve become adept of putting a little taste of a variety of food on my plate & saying thank you but I’m fine or this is plenty for now, maybe later. I happily sit there with my half empty plate while others’ are overflowing. I do allow myself a little more flexibility at Christmas: it is only one day a year. What’s funny is that I make most of the Christmas desserts yet I very rarely eat sweets any more. This is really the only day I do & choose a little bite or two of the things I enjoy most. So many equate socialising with eating & drinking but really socialising is about being with people you love (or tolerate in regards to certain family members 😉). Instead of eating, talk with those you’re with.

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Easy? Ha! Weight loss surgery is not easy. People who say this are speaking from ignorance. The diet, the psychological work, working out a new way of eating that suits you & your needs, introducing more activity into your life, … And there is the life long work to maintain your weight loss - it’s much easier for an obese person to regain weight than it is for someone who was overweight or who lost a few pounds. Obesity is a disease for a reason & those demons that lead us down that path are still there. We just learn how to understand & manage them better & change our relationship with & dependence on food. Many of the benefits of the surgery, which kick start our weight loss, fade over time. We are able to eat more, our restriction weakens, our appetite returns. That’s when the real work begins. To me the most important benefit of the surgery was that during the time of no appetite, strong restriction, etc, I had the time to do the head work about my relationship with food, eating behaviours, & work out a new way of eating, I never worked as hard with losing weight & then maintaining my weight as I have since my surgery. It is so very much worth it though.

I had reflux before my sleeve surgery. It was mild & I managed it through dietary choices. Only needed to take esomepraole 3 or 4 times a year (usually when I had too many champagnes or G&Ts). My surgeon & I discussed my situation & he decided to proceed with the sleeve because I managed my reflux & it was mild but he would have done bypass if I wanted, After surgery I take esomeprazole everyday & I always will. My reflux manifests itself a little differently now - more burning in my throat but way less incidences of the hideous hiccups & bad taste in my mouth. I would question a surgeon who will only do a sleeve regardless of your gerd which usually means sleeve is not for you. Are there any surgeons in a neighbouring city who will take your insurance & you could meet with?

You may have reached your new set point - the weight your body is happiest at & is easiest to maintain. Unfortunately, your new set point may not be the weight you wanted to settle at. You can lose below your set point but your body will gravitate back to it. It’s why we’d struggle to lose some weight in the past but then quickly return to the weight we were - the higher weight was your set point. Remember too, muscle weighs more so if you’ve been lifting you will have more muscle & weigh more than if it was just fat. If the scale is messing with you, stay off it for a while & rely on body measurements or the fit of your clothes.

Sounds a pretty okay weight loss to me especially if you experienced a stall of 1-3 weeks. You’re averting about 3lbs a week - nothing wrong with that. There is no ‘this is how much weight you must lose by this point’ rule. We all lose at our own rate. Some faster some slower. You lose at the rate that is best for you. There are averages which can be used as a guide but never a rule. Doesn’t mean you won’t lose your weight. (Don’t be influenced by the weight loss seen on tv programs. They lose large amounts in the beginning because they started at twice your weight & have lots to lose Their rate loss slows as they progress.) Is your surgeon concerned? Is your dietician concerned about your loss so far? If they’re okay you have nothing to worry about. You’re certainly not failing. You’ve lost 19 feckin’ pounds. Celebrate every pound you lose. I didn’t have to count calories & didn’t have to track my food so never had to discuss it with my dietician. I checked out of my own interest so I I know I was low calorie eater. Around 300 calories in the first month & was barely eating 900 calories by 6 months when I reached my goal. At 17 months when my weight stabilised I was eating 1300. Now I eat about 1500+/-. I was & am healthy & my blood work was is always excellent. I never could have physically eaten more than I was at any stage. But that is my story. Yours may be different & that’s okay. I’m a little taller than you & not very active (not running miles or spending hours in the gym) I don’t need the calories a taller, more active person needs. Ensure your dietician isn’t trying to fit you into the one size fits all average calorie intake box. The average calorie intake for a woman is said to be 2000 calories - I’d be the size I was before surgery if I ate that much. To lose they say I should eat 1500 so I’d never lose weight either on those recommendations.

What a wonderful attitude & approach to all you’ve been through. I’ve had a couple of small things picked up since my surgery & weight loss ( nothing like yours - though we are fibroid twins 😉) & am grateful for the medical follow ups I’ve had, the testing I’d never had before which revealed things & even how more aware I am of my body & not just put things down to being fat & therefore unimportant & my fault. Now to kicking those last 33lbs to the kerb.

Sometimes life throws crap at us from outside events or internal issues & our good intentions & good behaviours are forgotten. Doesn’t mean they’re gone forever. Sounds like you know exactly where you’re misstepping & know what you need to be doing to get back on track. That in itself is a major win. May be start slowly & adopt one or two of those changes or new behaviours for a week or two then add another one or two. Small wins, even meeting your fluid goal, are still wins. Also have you considered speaking with a therapist? They could help you work through why things started to slide & suggest strategies to help you get back on track. We can’t always do these things alone or without more professional help. All the best.

Plans can be different but the best advice is always to follow your surgeon’s plan (& never what someone on Facebook or TikTok advises who often post just for attention & shock value). The staged return to eating solid food is there to support your healing & protect your healing tummy. Remember all those staples & sutures holding your digestive system together. (Read there can be up to 10 inches of sutures - imagine that on your arm or leg 😱.) There are also many nerves cut so you can’t really tell if you are doing damage or not. It takes about 8 weeks for your tummy to fully heal post surgery. Yes the shakes can be hideous, I made myself have one a day then drank soups - comsummes, broths, creams (thin them with additional water or milk as you need & ensure they have no solid matter). Bone broths are excellent too. Blend yoghurt with milk to make a drink or make your own protein shakes using protein powder. It’s only two weeks & you’ll get through it. Many of us actually find purée stage more challenging from a texture & flavour perspective. Protein water is an option too. Gotta work at getting at least close to your daily protein goals.

Wonder if this flare up is a result of uric acid being released into your husband’s blood stream as he loses weight as it’s stored in fat much like estrogen for us? My dad was on Allopurinol for his. Took it everyday to keep his uric acid levels low. I remember him saying it was pretty awful when he first took it - made him sick (I think from excreting the excess uric acid) then it was fine. Rarely had an attack except for the very mild out break if he over indulged in seafood & alcohol.

You may be in a stall ( remember you can experience several of these while you’re losing). Also your rate of weight loss slows as you near your stabilised weight. Remember too, your weightloss does not have a steady straight line down trajectory. It goes up & down, zigs & zags, lose more one week less the next. So don’t give up yet. In saying that, yes, your medication may be a contributing factor as anti depressants are known for weight gain & increasing appetite. Have a chat with your surgeon & your prescribing doctor to be sure. There may be alternatives.

The surgery 100%. But then people here will tell you the same thing. Our individual stories may be a little different & even our motivations may not be exactly the same but what we share is that we were all obese just like you. We’re not now. Our health is better, we’re fitter, we’re able to enjoy our lives as we want to, we can do things we never thought we’d be able to do, we’re able to do more & share more with our family & friends. The risks are actually much lower than with other very commonly done surgeries & greatly less than the risks associated with obesity. Best decision I made. All the best with your decision.

I agree with @The Greater Fool. I too would wonder what do they gain by you not having the surgery & remaining overweight. Why don’t they ant you to be healthy & able to live your best life with them. Be warned they probably will tell you horror stories to scare you. Tell you about the risks. The surgical risks are lower than with an appendectomy & there are many more risks from being obese. Maybe ask the. To meet with your surgeon & your therapist so their concerns can be eased & their true issues openly discussed. Be strong & put yourself first. All the best.

I wouldn’t give up yet. You can always delay your surgery until you’re certain about your decision. Have a look at some of Dr Matthew Weiner’s you tube videos & his podcasts (available via his pound of cure website). He’s has a few about using glp-1 meds or only going down the surgery path or taking the meds in tandem with surgery. At the least it may help you with some questions to ask your team & surgeon about your way forward. The surgery requires life long changes & as does the medication. The surgery is expensive unless you’re covered by insurance. The medication is also expensive & you’ll be paying it for the rest of your life (after your insurance period ends if you’re eligible). Both have some side effects you may or may not experience or have to manage (but most things do).

I kept losing fur another 11 months after I reached my goal. For a time I couldn’t eat more than I was. I added some snacks to eat between meals & my dietician suggested adding milk powder to my milk to enrich it with more protein & more calories. (I found this too sweet so I gave up after a short time.) I was eventually able to eat larger portions but I was still eating 4-5 snacks a day by the time my weight finally stabilised. (I was eating about 1300 calories at that point.) I usually eat about 1600 calories now, about 3 snacks & have basically maintained. How I eat has been sustainable for me & doesn’t limit or restrict my life in any way. What I realised is that the weight I’m at is the weight my body gravitates to & is happiest at: my set point. It may take you some time to be able to eat the calories you need to maintain. Also your goal weight may not be your new set point (it could be higher or lower). Another point to consider is that the lowest weight you reach may not be the weight at which you stabilise. Our bodies often resettle at a higher weight. There is the possibility of the bounce back regain at around year 2 or 3. Or you adjust your eating to better support your lifestyle & consequently eat a few more calories. Try adding some additional carbs (low processed, complex whole & multi grains) some good fats, another serve of fruit, … Have a chat with your dietician too for some ways to incorporate additional but still nutrient dense foods into your eating. All the best.

I gurgle all the time with my sleeve. I say it’s my poltergeist cause it literally groans & moans & whines too. It’s just a noisy digestive system. My young nieces & nephew think it’s quite amusing, I’ve never been able to burp so I think that adds to mine. And yes I agree not feeling your restriction is likely from your nerves being cut during your revision restricting messages getting through just like after your initial sleeve surgery. Remember to keep to your recommended portion sizes until your signals can get through to ensure you’re not accidentally impacting your healing & recovery. All the best.

Christmas drinks cooking yesterday. This time Brie bites. Easy to make & yummy. Quarter teaspoon grain mustard, piece of Brie, 1/2 teaspoon cranberry sauce in puff pastry, bake then sprinkle with some pieces of grilled prosciutto. Went to what is supposed to be this excellent restaurant last week. Been wanting to go for a while but thought they only had a degustation menu & recently discovered they did have a la carte. Chose John Dory fillet with beurre blanc sauce split with wasabi leaf oil & asparagus. Started off okay but am still looking for the asparagus - extremely finely diced & barely a teaspoon. Then the third slice of the fillet was super salty & couldn’t eat it. So disappointed. My friends enjoyed their meals so at least there was that. Oh & it cost $58 (about $39 US). Crazy prices here now. Last year it would have been 10-15 Aust $ less.

They’re Creons & are a pancreatic enzyme. I take them for my protein malabsorption which began after my gall removal. I take one 25 000mg capsule 3 times a day. Started on a lower dose but it wasn’t enough. They were prescribed by the doctor who does the follow-ups for my surgeon.

We all lose at our own rate. There isn’t a date by which you must lose your weight. I always felt if my dietician & surgeon were happy I should be happy too. As @catwoman7 said the last 20lbs (about 10kg) can be the hardest & take the longest to lose. While I reached my goal at about 6 months I kept losing for another 11 months & lost another 11kgs (which was the weight my body wanted me to be at - my new set point). The last months I was losing grams each week. So, yes not everyone reaches their goal, but it may not be over for you yet. You are still losing. Remember a loss of 1-2lbs (0.5-1kg) a week is considered a healthy rate of loss. We just had a medically supervised kick start in the beginning. Congrats on your weight loss so far.

Thanks @GreenTealael. Been enjoying the bite sized (pun intended) snippets on his instagram account but hadn’t got around to listening to the complete episodes yet.

Perfectly normal, though frustrating, & an important part of your weight loss. It’s the time your body takes to say what the hell is happening (weight loss, reduced calorie intake, etc.) & then works out what it needs now. It’s when your body readjusts your digestive hormones, metabolism, etc. When your body is ready to move forward again, your weight loss will start again. Stick to your plan. Don’t stress your body (or yourself) more by making more changes than what your plan requires. And yes, you’ll likely experience more of them. Congrats on your surgery & your weight loss so far. Yay!