K@t

I'm Athena.....I can relate....

wow, thats great! I know some times we need that extra push to get us where we need to be going again. A compliment from a doctor is even better!

Ok so here is the skinny on my current situation.

• I'm on the states waiting list, and they will pay for the surgery everything included at a hospital near my house. The catch is that I have to wait at least a year, maybe more. There is no way to know where I am on the list or how long my wait will be. There is no one to call and no one to talk to. I tried calling different places and I even went to the hospital and got the same answer of just wait. They will send me a letter when they are ready for me.
  
• I can go to France and have the surgery done for about 6,000€ this included plane tickets and hotel stay for 2.
  
• I can have the surgery done here in Portugal with the same doctor who will do it for free on the states tab (he works for the state and he also has a private practice) He will do it in his private clinic for about 8,000€ and I can have it done next month. I haven't asked about payment plans or any thing like that yet, but I intend to. I have a consultation appointment with him on the 29th.

About the family:

• My father in law is totally excited about this and even though the surgery cost so much he said "we will see what we can do". He was the one that suggested I go ahead and go in for a consultation with the surgeon rather then waiting for the state to send me in. The surgeon is a friend of my husband's uncle and he will probably make some allowances for me (give me a discount or let me make payments etc.) The doctor even tried to skip me up the state list but he couldn't do it, they are cracking down on that kind of stuff I guess.
  
• My husband is totally against paying for it any where or in any way because the state will pay for it. He said I've been fat for this long, what's another year. I work 2 jobs and make my own money, we aren't rich, but we aren't hurting for it either. I could afford it with my salary alone. With out even touching his money. However this is less money in savings for a new house...etc. (mind you when we bought this house we are in now, we spent 7,000€ to remodel the kitchen and 5,000€ for custom desks to be built in the office.) So it's not like he hasn't spend big amounts before.

Any way, I guess I'm looking for reassurment or looking for something....I don't know, some one to agree with me. Every one thinks I'm crazy for wanting to spend 8,000€ when I can get it for free if I wait....but its so hard to wait when you know there is something there that can help you, besides we aren't guaranteed tomorrow.....what if I die next year when I could have lived this year happier and healthier?

59% dixie, raised in texas, but then moved to Florida, so you loose a lot of the twang.

We will keep you in our thoughts and prayers, hopefully she will be better soon.

I remembered another one. Here in Portugal, when you are served shrimp in almost any restaurant, its with the heads on them (thats considered a good presentation in Portugal) and when my aunt (who is almost 50) came to visit us, she saw the shrimp and asked...what's that, and I told her, it's shrimp...and she was like...well but what's that coming out of it? She was pointing to the head of the shrimp. Apparently she never knew that shrimp had heads, she thought shrimp where what they serve you at Red Lobster (all cleaned and de-veined and de-headed) hehe, it gave my hubby a good laugh....

Great thread! It's funny how so many of us have things in common.

ok my list:

1. I will buy a bikini and sun topless on the beach (yeah thats right...topless!!! Here in Portugal its totally normal.)
   
2. I will shop for cute clothes in all the cute quaint boutiques here on the streets of Portugal with my mother in law. (she will be so happy we can shop together she might pay!)
   
3. I will stop wondering if people in the mall are staring at me. :nervous
   
4. I'll wear low cut blouses and suggestive skirts to all my adult language classes so I can make the college boys fantasize about their English teacher....:guess
   
5. I'll let my husband show me off to all his college buddies at the next reunion instead of being ashamed to be his wife in front of his friends (even though he isn't ashamed of me)
   
6. Most of all....I'll thank God (or Buddha, or Allah, etc..)for being happy and healthier then I have ever been my entire life. :clap2:

Hey Murphles,

I know EXACTLY how you feel. My husband did the same thing, he said, sure honey thats a great idea!! So I jumped on the train trying to find out when and where I could get it done ASAP. Turns out I can get it done here in Portugal where I live, but I will have to wait...God knows how long (about a year I'm guessing) however I found out I could have it done in France next month! But cool, calm hubby says.....just wait for it here, its easier.

But of course I was chomping at the bit to go to France, however, then I would have to find a fill doctor here in Portugal, and of course there are all those other problems like what if there is a complication etc... it would be a lot easier if I just waited and got it done here in Portugal. (plus if I wait it will be almost free in Portugal but around $6000 in France) However, I'm not very patient, plus like you I would like to actually walk on the beach with my head up this summer. At the moment I am trying to go through a little loop hole here in Portugal that may allow me to get it done faster....if that works, great.....if it doesn't, I'm going to be pressuring my hubby to go to France, cuz I don't think I could handle waiting another year.

heheh thats totally cute, but hubby and i are arguing about whether or not its a real dog......he thinks its s stuffed animal....any one know?

hehehe......... I thought maybe it was my outfit, but it was just jeans and a baggy t shirt...normal stuff.... i dunno i think i was being weird....any way....ill try the make people think hes good in bed stuff next time

First of all, congratulations on your weight loss. Thats great progress.

Second of all 53lbs is VERY noticeable, even on extremely heavy people....I'm 250 and most people can tell when I have lost lbs much less 50. If your husband is getting so upset, then I say there is some other issue here. Maybe he is insecure that you will leave him, maybe hes jealous of your success...there are a thousand different scenarios, but his behavior is totally unacceptable. I would try to get both of you into marriage counseling to find out what exactly is his problem. If you can't do counseling, then I think a frank talk with him would be in order.

Some one who loves you and cherishes you would only want the best for you, which is to be happy and healthy. And they also give loving compliments with out having to be asked for them. I know you have been married a long time, but I don't think I could live with a man who didn't love and cherish me.

Good luck.

I know I'm being silly, I guess it was just one of those days were I decide the world is against me....:loco:

That's something I can say about my hubby, he always has a nice compliment for me....almost every day he tells me how beautiful I am...I know I'm lucky for that.....of course he evens the score by acting like a big 'ol baby most of the time...... so we are on even ground. Today he actually picked out his own clothes and he wanted me to tell him what a good boy he was for picking out a matching outfit!! :bounce: hehe...gotta love him though.....

Ok, I had a weird day, so I thought I would share.

As most of you know I live in Portugal so fat people are a bit of a wonder here......however, I have noticed a lot more obese people in the last year or two. With that being said......I have probably put on a few more pounds recently, I guess since I found out about the band and since I'm on the list for surgery, I have kinda let myself go, eating things I usually restrict myself from. (I have to restrict myself all the time just to maintain my weight) but I'm up to 250 now from 225. (pretty much over the course of a year or so)

Right well, today I went to the mall with my husband, a totally normal thing, I go to that mall all the time, by myself, with friends, etc. But it seemed like no matter where we went today, people were staring at me. On the escalator, in the hall, at the restaurant, in the electronics store. I know that sounds paranoid, and I'm not usually very aware of other people around me...but geez... I stared eye to eye with at least 4 different people who were staring at me....they didn't even have the decency to look away. I looked at my hubby and asked him if there was something on my face, or something on my clothes and he said no (being charming as ever he said that people can't help but stare at pretty things) so I'm sitting here wondering what in the hell was going on today....can it be that the little difference in gained weight has made me soooooo big that people are starting at me now??? Or am I just paranoid? :paranoid

As I have lost and gained weight over the years, I have had many responses..... and all of them were positive when I was loosing. I remember a teacher at the school I was working at told me if I lost any more I would be wasting away, she thought I was looking great and was afraid for me to loose too much!!! That was when I was 250 and down to 225!! Imagine...wasting away at 225! (I was doing Atkins) It was a great feeling. :biggrin1:

As for others loosing weight when I can not (or have more difficulty I should say) I'm happy....I'm not jealous, I'm not upset and I don't wish it were me instead of them. I'm happy for some one else's accomplishments, and it just gives me that much more motivation to try harder myself, I love to read about and hear about others success stories, and I know that one day I will have my own success story to share. :clap2:

woooooohoooooo....u must be excited.....I know waiting is the hardest part!

Hey thanks for the tip...I haven't been banded yet, but I have problems holding Water in as it is (it passes right through me) so I might have a similar problem when I have my surgery.....

My mom had the same problem, she bought a truck and then had problems making the payment, but because she was upside down on the loan she (she owed more then it was worth) trading it in wouldn't have helped and selling it she would have taken a loss. (she ended up selling it at a loss)

What I would suggest is trying to make the payments until you owe about as much as the car is worth so you can trade it in with no negative equity......or you can refinance it to have smaller payments, however that would give you even more negative equity..assuming you are upside down on the loan. If your really desperate, try to sell it at a loss, and then just take ur loss with a grain of salt and try to purchase a cheaper car. There are sometimes situations where instead of selling the car out right, you can have some one take over payments....so they would essentially buy it for what you owe on it. That may be a possibility as well.

Good luck this isn't easy, those sales men always like to get us in over our heads...poor guys, its their job though.

My sister was weeding out the Tomato garden one day (this is when she was like 18 or so) and she threw some bad tomatoes out on to the lawn. Later my dad came by on the ridding lawn mower and blew out a tire. He blamed it on my sister saying the "acid" from the tomatoes had eaten away the tire and made it blow out....she was in her 20's when my dad told the story to every one and had a good laugh. My poor sister was so embarrassed because until that day, she really thought that tomatoes had acid and could blow out a tire.....

It means, she must be hungry because she's eating something ..the smoothie or yogurt as it may be.

PS. If she has the lap band that means she has problems with her weight, why would she want to risk her health even more by smoking....i mean...there is no surgery for decaying lungs or any of the other nasty side effects from smoking.....

I don't think ads for any thing should be band, smoking or alcohol or any thing else for that matter. people need to have will power and if they don't, then thats part of life. I for one can say that food advertisement rarely makes me want to go buy something or eat something, I come up with that feeling all on my own.

This reminds me of a story my friend told me...he's a heavy smoker and he said he would be sitting at home watching tv not even thinking about smoking, but then one of those adds against smoking would come on (I can't remember what the group is called but they make lots of tv ads with the bad statistics against smoking) and he said as soon as he saw the ad AGAINST smoking, it would make him want to smoke....

McDonald's is a business and their looking to make money. Their primary concern is NOT our health. And who can blame them, business is what makes the world go round. The make tasty food because thats what people buy and because thats what makes them money, and I don't think we should deny them that by cutting of their primary source of advertisement. Its just not fair business practice. (speaking as someone with an MBA in my pocket) Business have a right too, just as well as consumers. The women who won that coffee burn lawsuit was ridiculous (stupid... use cup holders don't put a hot drink in between ur legs), as were the people who sued the tobacco companies. (who cares if smoking use to be thought of as harmless, every day things we think are harmless are being shown to be harmful...are we going to go sue all those companies as well?) WE decide what to do with our bodies and we can't throw the blame on any one else.

One of the biggest things that sets humans apart from the rest of the mammal kingdom is our ability to make rational decisions. We should be able to control ourselves ads or no ads. It's like saying that video games prompt children to commit violent acts, or that because a man was molested as a child he will molest children when he is an adult. I don't buy it. Each and every one of us are responsible for our own actions and saying the billboard (or advertisement or whatever) made me do it is no excuse.

It´s better because most of us don't have the physical will power to eat smaller portions and to eat slower with out some sort of consequence. The band makes it physically impossible to eat more then we should and it gives our body a reminder when we are doing something we shouldn't, and the band never stops or goes away.

We might diet for a few weeks but after that give up and go back to our old ways. The band physically will not allow us to do that. For me at least its what I need to make me eat proper and to stop when I don't need any more. Otherwise I'll just eat and eat until I feel sick and guilty. If we could eat smaller portions and slow down eating etc....then we wouldn't have gotten this fat to begin with.

I read an article the other day about the man who has had more plastic surgery then any other man in the world (currently) (Micheal Jackson may be in close competitions with him :biggrin1: )

Any way, the plastic surgery is his entire face, no other part of his body. He has Brad Pitt's lips, and George Cloony's chin etc.... And he said that he did it because society treats pretty people better. Well, I know it may open some doors for you, but $70,000 just to get a few doors opened.....

Hey Audra,

I'm right there with you. This is has been a problem since my childhood, and I too am currently waiting for a surgery date. I can't wait to get banded and put a stop to this nver ending cycle of problems.

-Thinjen- I don't blame you for saying the name, in fact I'd like to know the names of all the doctors mentioned here so I don't go to them.

My little story - I had been having some pain in my wrist so I saw my primary doctor, and he asked me what I thought was causing the pain, I told him that I work in an office and that it hurts when I have to push down on a hole punch or a stapler. His solution: stop stapling and using the hold punch!