TravMac

So ive lost 32 pounds sence surgery on may 31st. Feel like i weighed the same as i did before surgery but i clearly dont sence i have so much more energy now. Ive been going through all my clutter cleaning everyday and my husband has Noticed a huge change on what i do. I actually fill up Water balloons and squirt guns and run around the yard with my kids geting wet when before i sat on my bench and told them to play. Im more hands on. I feel like hiking and that is a saying i think i have never ever said in my life.
My husband has something going on anxiety or depression but he wont stop eatting marie calendar chicken pot pies. Yummy little suckers but there 1000 cal each. He thens has a snicker ice cream bar which i do take a small bite of :). Hes gaining weight and eatting horrible. He wont talk about whats wrong and he didnt use to be a stress eatter i always was he was the type that starved himself in times of stress.
I guess its bothering me he is eatting so un healthy. He doesnt eat vegys or fruit unless i serve him it for dinner. This new me wants him to be healthy and i dont know how to get him there with me.
Also he wont stop touching me its ticking me off.. lol he keeps touching my boobs or trying to get in my pants when the kids r around and then i turn him down he says im no fun and im an old hag. I try to explain i dont like touchie feelie stuff in front of the kids there 2 and 5 knowing there in the room is not sexy time..
im kinda getting grossed out by him. He doesnt brush his teeth every day cuz hes lazy now and he has death breath. He only takes 1 shower a week. When i take the kids in the spa or to play some thing outside he sits on his phone on the couch playing games on his phone. All he wants to do when he isnt working is watch tv. I used to be a couch ppotaote but lately i just want to get up and go so i started cleaning things out and organizing them while he watches tv.. he gets ssd when i dont want to just watch tv with him thatbi always have to be doing something. Its like that used to be the only thing that bonded us was the dang tv.
He started taking depression meds but doesnt take them everyday like he should unless i remind him. I feel like i have 3 kids its driving me nuts how he is. He keepz taking naps around 5 o clock everyday on the couch and then doesnt sleep well at night and gets up and eats. Hes only 32 he doesnt need naps they screw with him at night. He takes anything i say and turns it around as if im being mean when i mention or suggests he do something different. Im outside the otherday picking weeds in the yard he comes out and says good job and goes back in to play on his phone. Hes no help and its getting to me where i dont want to spend time with him. Weve always had a rockie relationship but now its different and dont really know what to do.
He thinks its annoying i want to put my 5yr old in soccer cause he already does karate and im like i want to get him more active he just wants to play on his tablet all the time and i dont want him being lazy. Kids need to use there imagination and get outside and hes like ok u do that with them. Ugh im just feeling down now. Thanks for listening to me vent!!

There is a certain point in the relationship when the thing that should attract a partner most is their personality and mind not their looks. We all age, get wrinkles, saggy bits etc. Some of us gain weight, others lose but inside it is still the person that you loved.
It's sad when a person forgets that

Freeze a Protein Shake and pretend it's ice cream!!! You don't need that jerk, you are going to move on and find someone who loves the whole package. 😍 My ex told me I was getting too fat (right after having a baby!) and he left me. Best damn thing that could have ever happened!

I'll be 8 months out on Monday and I still have what I call "big pouch days" and "little pouch days". On a big pouch days, I have to watch my calories because my pouch seems to be able to physically accommodate more food than normal. Today I am having a "little pouch day" where I have pre-logged all my food for the day and I'm at 630 calories. I can't imagine what the heck else I'm going to eat because I've felt "full" all day long. Getting in all the foods to meet my 630 will be a challenge.
An occasional low day won't kill me (and I'm still meeting my Protein goals) but I wonder why this happens and if anyone else experiences it. It also makes me wonder if I'm stretching my pouch on the little pouch days where I feel full all day.
Kara

I have days like this, I brought it up to my nutritionist and she said it happens sometimes. She did mention maybe there's something common on the small pouch days that I could be eating or drinking that might trigger it (like certain sugar substitutes and stuff) So now I'm suppose start digging into the ingredients of stuff on the days I have a little pouch day and see if there's any similarities.

Clutter is not physical stuff. It is old ideas , toxic relationships and bad habits. It is anything that does not support your better self.
And please remind them of This
IF YOU TRULY LOVE HER YOU'D WANT WHAT IS BEST FOR HER, WHETHER THAT INCLUDES YOU OR NOT!
Much love, praying 🙏things will smooth out and update us if you can!

I don't don't have that issue because I plan all the meals at home. I cook the things my family enjoy while sticking to my doctors bariatic plan. There are people who will support and others who don't have your best interest at heart. Stay the course even if you have to stop socializing with those who intend on sabotaging your health. Do not give them that power or control. Speak to your psychologist and be honest.

You have to be honest with the psych eval and people trying to care for you. I once heard a saying that people can't "drive" you crazy unless you give them the keys. Are you letting people sabotage you? Stand up for yourself, this is about gaining back control over yourself and your food issues.

I've been very fortunate to have very supportive family/friends/coworkers. However I do feel that if there are people in your life that are trying to sabotage you even after you've told them to knock it off...maybe you need to take a break from them until after your surgery. This process is hard enough without having to deal with such negativity. Just politely tell them that you've done your research and that you feel that this is the best thing for you and if they can't support you through the process then you'll have to stay away from them for a while.
As for the psych eval and surgeon...they definitely want to know that you have a support system. Either avoid talking about the negative influences or tell them the truth and also tell them that you you have others that support you and that you're distancing yourself from any negative influences.

It they won't support you, we will.
If they try and pass judgment, we won't.
If they won't tell you, we will....YOU GOT THIS !!!!
I found this online, printed it off and placed it somewhere I would see it everyday.

Is anyone else experiencing struggles at home with your family support system?
How did you overcome someone or multiple people trying to sabotage you preoperatively? I've had conversations about my concerns with them and I feel like I'm not being heard. I'm also worried if I'm too honest with the surgeon and Psych Eval. about being sabotaged they won't proceed with the procedure. Did any of you deal with this issue and how did you overcome this, because I know this is not something that I can't take back after surgery. I am changing my life and body permanently! Any help or support would be greatly appreciated.

I feel like I’m in the same boat sometimes especially in the beginning. I was not honest with my pysch eval BUT I started seeing a separate therapist that has nothing to do with wls and that really helps. It’s so hard to have a house full of food, have to cook it, and can’t eat it. I felt my hubby was sabotaging me at first and I had a conversation with him to let him know how serious this is. Decades of fad diets have ruined body and this is something that will help me get better. I understand this is easier said than done especially when you live with these people....but anyone who does not support me getting healthier is simply not worth my time anymore and I try to avoid them (or at least meals with them).

Is anyone else experiencing struggles at home with your family support system?
How did you overcome someone or multiple people trying to sabotage you preoperatively? I've had conversations about my concerns with them and I feel like I'm not being heard. I'm also worried if I'm too honest with the surgeon and Psych Eval. about being sabotaged they won't proceed with the procedure. Did any of you deal with this issue and how did you overcome this, because I know this is not something that I can't take back after surgery. I am changing my life and body permanently! Any help or support would be greatly appreciated.

Is anyone else experiencing struggles at home with your family support system?
How did you overcome someone or multiple people trying to sabotage you preoperatively? I've had conversations about my concerns with them and I feel like I'm not being heard. I'm also worried if I'm too honest with the surgeon and Psych Eval. about being sabotaged they won't proceed with the procedure. Did any of you deal with this issue and how did you overcome this, because I know this is not something that I can't take back after surgery. I am changing my life and body permanently! Any help or support would be greatly appreciated.

I only packed my charger, a little extension cord, headphones, deodorant and a change of underwear. I wore sweats to the hospital and that's what I planned to wear home. The only thing I ended up using was the deodorant and the change of panties.

They put me in my room at 10 am and I didn't turn my phone back on till midnight. They were giving me IV pain meds and I was in and out all day. So I didn't need the charger, the headphones or extension cord. I wore their slippers to walk in and took them off when I got back in bed. They gave me Gas X, face wash, a tooth brush and tooth paste.

Good luck with your surgery!



Sent from my moto e5 plus using BariatricPal mobile app

A lot of people would suggest packing your own socks or house slippers for walking the halls. I don't like the idea of this, I work in the operating room and know that surgeons and PAs and such walk right out the OR up to the nursing floors dragging blood particles with them. Gross. I suggest you wear the socks they give you and throw them away.
My suggestion mirrors GradyCat's above. Plus maybe your own pillow.

Mine was and is a bit different because I’m already seeing someone and we are working through the bariatric issues together, also part of why I’m waiting a few months still before having surgery. Some psychs seem to love those long questionnaires as you found out during your appointment, hopefully the report is all fine and I’m sorry you have to wait to get an idea of his evaluation

If you have a support system, about your spouse and children, have you ever tried or wanted to commit suicide. What are you expecting from surgery. Donyou understand the lifestyle changes no carbonation, limitations of diet. Emotional eater? Are you and have you ever been in an abusive relationship. Why you want surgery. Most were on a form and some he asked in questions in person. It did not take long at all and he let me know he was approving me for surgery before i left. Mostly to make sure you understand what you are doing. Good luck.

They want to know about depression because your entire life changes and relationship with food changes as well as with others in your social life since a lot is surrounded with food and drink. I’m two weeks post op and I totally get it. They want to make sure you won’t turn to food for comfort because you literally can’t. Trust they know what they are talking about this isn’t their first rodeo and lying only hurts yourself.

I'm in Corpus Christi, Texas!
Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App