Darktowerdream

Odd choice of words. I’ve spent most of my life being the fat kid, the obese kid, my height and smaller frame I want to achieve a healthy weight and BMI. Seems odd to call it a fetish to want to reach it and stay there. For me healthy BMI is between 18-24. I guess saying it’s a fetish to want to reach a certain BMI makes me think of people in my life who said I obsessed over my weight too much. Or called it an eating disorder l but when you are up against metabolic disorders, and disability you want to fight to have some part of yourself that you can make right or normal. (Probably am too tired to be answering posts right now ....) but there is a reason for BMI charts or calculations and many allow for height weight, bone structure, even age and Cleveland clinic includes waist size. And there is a range. It’s a guideline for health. To know when you ever off and can get back on.

I’ve had a lot of restrictions for various reasons and it does get a bit stressing mentally but I guess I am also creature of habit and stick to things I’m familiar with or know works. I rotate between certain things and slowly try adding things. Try to find a way to ease the mental burden of it being a diet and how long or feeling deprived of something. it’s a new way of life you are in. Try making a soft boiled egg and see how you feel eating it. Also BariatricPal has a variety of things that can work on purée like protein soups. I hated the purée phase and it hated me. My phases lasted longer than most. But everyone is different. I started having soft veggie burger. BariatricPal makes a protein mash potato. get in the head space try not to worry over time. Try to mix the foods on your list in creative ways. You can do it. You will get through this. Try to focus on what the goal is, changing your approach to food. But maybe I’m just weird I don’t need a lot variety. Just the little things like the occasional sugar free whipped topping on my yogurt ... (although the almond reddi whip is good too)

It’s interesting because I couldn’t tolerate most purée foods except maybe good culture cottage cheese, but soft boiled eggs were more easily to tolerate. I also did a slow cooked custard type scrambled egg. Just start with less at first. Egg is a good protein source. A good thing to start is mixing TwoGood yogurt with protein powder (I use PEScience select) or even use 4 ounces of Fage total zero Greek yogurt with half a scoop of PEScience select protein powder and a little bit of ripple milk to thin it out as needed (I personally prefer pea protein Ripple milk, it’s more sustainable and tasty than almond milk and has protein in it I use plain unsweetened but they have unsweetened vanilla too) apologies I ramble ...

I live with lifelong chronic illness and disability and have had my share of surgeries and problems come up fromnthem including my gastric bypass surgery, I had stricture, and some issues revealed themselves not caused by surgery but just that the surgery made me more aware of them and put me in a position to get diagnosis. But despite the fact that it’s been problematic for my chronic health issues, I still do not regret having gastric bypass surgery. because I had no way anymore to fight it alone and needed the tool to fight my weight that or just give up and know my weight was going to keep going up and basically eat me alive. And I was fighting as hard as I could but getting nowhere fast. being a nurse is high stress and hard on you physically and mentally. just think about where you are in life and how the tool would work for you in improving you health and well-being. Try to shut out the pressure of others and think in terms of how much the surgery will improve life and eating habits. It gives new perspective. Read @FluffyChixposting about doing the head work and start there ❤️

Hmmm well I liked veggies but they didn’t much care for me. I lost weight eating strict low carb and calories due to metabolic disorders and chronic illness but as i started adding veggies my weight crept up. eventually despite my efforts my weight skyrocketed and my gallbladder wasn’t functioning properly I sought out bariatric surgery. My BMI was 40.1 I ended up having gastric bypass surgery due to gastric reflux. You don’t worry about veggies for a while anyway. You follow a dietary plan. First is liquid proteins, always fluids and get protein first, then move to soft foods aka puree, then soft food with soft veggies, then in maintenance add complex carbs. (That’s according to my dietary guidelines) timeline is based on both the guidelines and your own progress. dont worry about veggies just yet. First is finding protein drinks you like,then soft protein foods, then veggies. And honestly there really are tasty ways to get veggies. They have so many tast veggie options now. I like Dr. praegers black bean chipotle pollock burgers I make them with BariatricPal protein mash potatoes. I like dr praeger veggie burger since it’s a blend of protein and veggies in a burger , they have one callled perfect burger. bariatric surgery in my opinion works best sticking to low carb and low sugar (my nutritionist says no more than 5 grams of sugar) and veggies come later it’s the protein that’s vital. Plus you base your daily protein on your weight. (0.8 grams of protein per 1 kg of body weight if I recall correctly) take the first step and take it from there. In my opinion As long as you stay low carb, little to no sugar, get your optimal protein, drink fluids, get fiber (soluble and insoluble) take Whole Foods based vitamins (I suggest garden of life gummy drops multi vitamins to start) and take probiotics. Veggies are just filler foods. But good protein and especially healthy fats are even more so filling.

I let go of some focus of weight goals I’d set while working on my health issues and I think I’m on the edge of healthy weight. In all honesty I’m at the lowest I’ve been in a long long time. My perception of time sucks as in doesn’t exist but when I first fought to lose weight against metabolic disorders and physical disability I might have hit 125lbs it didn’t stay there long before settling at 135lbs. I’m hoping due to my height and bone density change over the years that I can reach optimal goal weight for me of 100lbs (106lbs dressed) or in that general vicinity. I’ve a sinking feeling I can’t hit goal without some skin removal surgery though might there be some eating disorder issues involved. Probably. But I’ve struggled to deal with this alone for many years. I’d say it’s par for the course with Autism. Do I wish I didn’t need to worry so much, sure? But between metabolic disorders, physical disability, and inability to exercise it naturally complicates things. I’m trying to take things moment to moment and not worry about the goal weight but at the same time it’s in my mind the issue of excess skin skewing the numbers and how I see my weight.

I used to like ole extreme wellness high fiber low carb tortilla wraps, or Tumaros carbwise wraps either ancient grains, flax, or 7 grain with chia. I think they rebranded since I bought them last in fresh Market. https://www.tumaros.com/tm-products also I used to buy great low carb bread company Bread and bagels. For example a bagel is 120 calories, 16 grams carbs, 14 grams fiber, 14 grams protein. They make a nice thin pizza crust too. And made of healthier ingredients. I usually would get it from Netrition.com but this is their website https://greatlowcarb.com i forgot, if you like burgers ... smart buns ... zero carbs and low calories https://smartbakingco.com/shop/sesame-smartbun-4-pack/

I’ve never followed a diet but inadvertently do intermittent fasting, as well as alternate day fasting to some degree, some days just wind up much lower calories than usual especially with doctors appointments, errands or laundry. I might go from 6pm dinner to 12:00 lunch except for tea in the morning I like yogi slim life caramel apple spice with a bit of ripple milk. Every so often I switch things up. And might vary my calories a bit. I do stick to low carb even though post surgery I haven’t counted, for now it’s protein and calories. And track what I eat. Daily weight. And maybe a note for the day. Like if I’ve had a dr. Appointment. I have to manage things as best I can without the benefits of exercise. Which due to my chronic illness isn’t possible. Just basic things like a shower, laundry, dr. appointment, errand, is like a triathlon to my body. Sometimes just getting up in the morning is equivalent to a workout. i think adding things like IF can be beneficial to Better utilize the tool that is bariatric surgery. It helps solidify the reality that our bodies don’t need as much food as we think. also I have to say @FluffyChix always has awesome advice.

Honestly gas can be avoided, especially stinky gas. Excessive and stinky gas is a signal from your body that it has an intolerance to something that you are eating, and/or is not digesting it properly. A. Figure out what foods are the worst offenders and avoid them b. For minor offenders and harder to digest meals in general take digestive enzymes, they are a good addition to everyone’s routine anyway (I’m trying out a new chewable digestive enzyme) c. If all else fails take a gas reliever... for me personally I like Hylands gas, it’s a sublingual homeopathic medication but for some reason it seems to work better. I’ve taken gas x and felt worse (likely an allergy to an ingredient) better to go to the bathroom when you feel gassy than hold it in. But like I said even though we have altered digestive systems and yes poo will stink when it processes through the gut faster, that’s no reason for excessive gas. Or to just let loose and foul up everyone else’s day. you can buy special underwear ... but better to look into the cause and preventing it first. having digestive issues most of my life I know a bit too much on the subject of which I loathe.

Everyone’s tastes are so different! I hated syntrax nectars, protein waters felt like swallowing fine strands of hair that stuck to my throat, isopure made me ill just to sniff it. I had a hard time finding ready to drink protein without added iodine. A few things I tolerated are: for protein powder I use PEScience select and I started out mixing it with ripple milk (plant based milk) and then started to mix it in either TwoGood coconut yogurt or plain Fage Total zero Greek yogurt. Has a frosting like texture. for ready to drink a few options there is labrada lean body (love cookies and cream) I think it’s called boost max protein (at the grocery) shamrock shakes, and my favorite (plant based) Koia cinnamon horchata. Sometimes I mix cafe bustelo instant coffee in my cinnamon horchata and top with a little almond whip. Honestly what I wish I had closer to post op were BariatricPal pink grapefruit protein shots. And to get extra fluids later on they can be mixed with ocean spray 5 calories juice (I like the grapefruit) BariatricPal juice protein is also more tolerable to me especially mixed with some ocean spray. You can get a variety pack to figure out the flavor you prefer. Also their protein soups are more palatable.

Ok I understand now. It’s extremely common for bariatric surgery patients to need cholecystectomy (gallbladder removal) due to rapid weight loss. My gallbladder was problematic years prior so I ended up having it removed during my gastric bypass and it ended up being chronic inflammation. It sounds very possible they will suggest it’s your gallbladder. It definitely would cause the symptoms you describe. I was in hospital shortly after my surgery not more than two days after. And got stuck there several days. Try not to worry and roll with the punches and you will come out ok.

@mamakoch is this a recent problem or is it worse now than post op? I ask because they usually make sure you have good “output” before releasing you from hospital. This seems like more to me than just not enough fluid intake or that you are drinking coffee. Forgot to add: coffee might be a diuretic but it’s a myth that it’s dehydrating since you are drinking water at the same time as the caffeine. are there any other factors like frequent diarrhea? That can cause dehydration and lead to low potassium. You could also have a UTI. It might be a good idea to bring this up with your surgeon or your primary care physician and run a few basic tests to make sure things are going along ok. Also ... Try not to worry about when you need to step back or take things slow, better slow and know it’s going right.

Mixing TwoGood yogurt with protein powder (I highly recommend PEScience select) makes almost a frosting like consistency. Very little sugar depends on the flavor of PEScience maximum 4 grams. But lots of protein and low calorie. Even with a full scoop of PEScience it’s 190-200 calories for a whopping 36 grams protein. Very filling. You can top with a bit of sugar free land o lakes whipped topping to make it a sweet treat. if you crave salty snacks BariatricPal has so many options. I keep trying new things. Also not all protein bars are created equal, it could be an ingredient that made you sick or being too early on for them. try not to feel left out of holidays just because of food. It’s that kind of thinking we need to change. And you can have your own treats in your bag with you that fit your plan. and honestly if cooking tempts you too much, can someone else do it? Or get things pre-made. I cook for my mom but have never been tempted to eat what I cook while I’m cooking. For years I worked on the head part of things, not eating just because my company I was with was eating or more so not eating what they ate just because .. I had a hard time if a friend gave me food I wouldn’t turn it away or waste it. She mocked me for it. Honestly I’m not much good for advice in this department since it just my mom and I now. What little family we have is in another state, doesn’t care, and my sister would prefer if I didn’t exist. anyway, the advice to occupy yourself with other things while people eat is also very good advice. And what food you do have, savor it in tiny bites.

Hope you don’t mind if I suggest some things that helps me with that. I take Natures way Alive! Hair skin & nails gummies with 300mg collagen. I also take omegas, my favorite is hero nutritionals omega 3 with chia seed (also gummies) and my multivitamin is Garden of Life mykind organics Whole Foods gummy drops (it’s actually a prenatal vitamin which is common in bariatric patients) I was going to switch to a one a day tablet but can’t find any without added iodine and the whole food based nutrition absorbs better. (I get them from vitacost.com) I find certain vitamins help a lot with dry hair and skin. Also any itching or irritated skin I recommend Tamanu oil, even for blemishes.

You can have your thyroid levels checked as part of your routine bloodwork but with all the physical changes from surgery it does effect hormones and likely, temperature regulation. for me, I still seem to run hot even when I’m cold ... (not that it makes any sense) just know it’s pretty normal to deal with changes as you progress that lead you to question if you are normal or not ...

@sillykitty how are you doing? Keep taking it slow and easy. I didn’t want to say those first steps would be hell. But I hope they have gotten easier now. The hunched slow walk will be around awhile. That takes time. For me This was Back before my RNY so I lived on saltines and those chicken noodle o’s soup packets. I had no appetite. I had to rest a lot And be propped up in bed with my cat before she passed. Holy hell I have Alzheimer’s my baby girl passed in 2008 how I wished she had been there in 2010. Of course I’ve chronic illness alongside this so my recovery process is different. I have high pain tolerance but it exhausts me physically. sorry I went of on a bit of a tangent there. keep thinking about the outcome of this and that this is the reward for all your hard work. You will look awesome but more so you will feel it. Such an awesome gift to yourself this year too. Even if the ultimate result will take time to arrive, it will eventually get there with time and patience. so just remember, have patience with yourself.

I think for me my biggest worry is repeat history of if I don’t watch closely my calories, protein and carbs due to metabolic disorders that I will backslide again. I’m trying to not make a big deal of the numbers even though I weigh myself each morning (dressed) and log my food (the main protein and calories) but still the goal weight is a sticking point and I can understand where the OP is coming from. When other people have this idea of where you should be, even though this should be yours and yours alone to decide. and honestly that’s not just about numbers on a scale it’s about a lot of things. But sometimes it’s easier to define it with numbers than it is the vague uncontrollable things in our lives. I wish I could explain it better than that. I get so exhausted just searching for the right words.

This is a tough subject and I’ve been here years before surgery, this image of ideal body weight as well as what we think our body should feel or our weight should be. It’s not something easy to pinpoint as in a number but something we want to feel that we can control. i just remember bits and pieces like standing on my aunts scale in her bathroom and seeing the numbers (I don’t remember let’s say 134) and being called fat even by school professionals. at some point when I was dealing with the process of getting major health diagnosis, severe Illnesses, disability and my mom was having major spine surgery and her recovery process all at what should have been my last year of high school and ... I’ll leave out most of it but my weight out of nowhere jumped to 180 and I was lost. Doctors diagnosed me with metabolic disorders late onset congenital adrenal hyperplasia, pcos, etc. but no explanation, no help for my weight, medication made me too ill (didn’t find out until much much later as to why) I remember one of the few people in my life accusing me of being obsessive over my weight and having an eating disorder. I broke at some point. Let the sugar and carb addict and the influence of others get the best of me my weight went 210 + and I fought back hard. I did extreme low carb and calorie counting (weight watchers) i did lose weight. Slow but steady ok not so steady. Stall, gain a bit lose. Stall, gain a bit lose. I felt cut off from being around people who ate the foods I needed to avoid. Although my illness cut my off as well. I guess around 2008 (I don’t remember) my lowest might have been 124 lb but it just crept up and stayed around 134lb ... fast forward when I started this journey I felt like I’d landed back to square one where my skyrocketed first to 160 then to 180 and I sought out help for my gallbladder and then for bariatric surgery and my BMI was too low but then my weight just didn’t stop climbing even though I was still trying. all the fight before and I saw the loose saggy ugly skin and never felt truly thin and I am fighting again and I worry can I reach my goal and stay there can I be comfortable in my own skin? I’ve actually lost height since then due to chronic spine problems. My goal weight is lower. My mother is the same height as me and 100 lbs. i think I’m the lowest I’ve been in at least ten years. I still feel a lot of weight in my thighs and stomach and butt even though my butt is flat as heck due to my spine being twisted. People have commented like I might disappear. I think it’s more because the visible parts are bonier than normal. i haven’t had my last follow up with my surgeon yet. I’m wishing for skin removal because I know that some of the lbs are skin. It’s not as much the weight as it is all my life of fighting this and wanting to feel that I have control of something in my life where everything With my health I have not. i guess I will end it with an example. I started to go to bingo with my mom and won twice and people say oh you are lucky. But I’m not at all lucky. Nowhere in my entire life have I ever been lucky. But I won a game of bingo. And for me this would be one small win in a sea of things I can’t change. having a say in what our goal weight is or might be, is just the one small thing we want to be able to say is our win without someone else dictating what it should be ...

I decided to start a topic because I tested eating out for the second time. My mom and three of her friends wanted to go to Ichiban buffet. I’d been there before my surgery. I asked if they could mention to the server before they bring the check before we started eating to mention my card, that I had gastric bypass and request a child’s menu. It was overwhelming when I first got there so I couldn’t when I’m sensory overload. No one wanted to just ask. I dropped the issue. I wanted to test myself eating out. I still need soft foods, easy to eat things but I did a test for myself. To try. It was a Japanese buffet so they had some sashimi and they had nice cooked fish and shrimp. breakfast I had a 5 oz cottage cheese 110 calories and 19 grams protein, lunch I had a protein shot with tea 60 calories and 15 grams protein. I usually have 48 grams protein a day and max 400 calories average 380 for reference. im guessing my meal at no more than 230 calories, I’ll overestimate. Maybe 5 ounces of food at most. And approximately 20 or so grams of protein. i took a small plate of salmon sashimi maybe 3 oz at most. Approximately 128 calories, 12-13 grams protein. My cheat was to have some wasabi with tiny bits of soy sauce And ginger. I love salmon and wasabi. It was a nice treat in miniature. The salmon goes down easy compared to heavier proteins. I had nibbles of cookes salmon and swai. I had two small soft cooked shrimp. Maybe an ounce which is about 30 calories? 6 grams protein? I ate very slow. I used chopsticks. I did allow myself a tiny cheat at the end. I knew they had a little soft desert sort of like tiramisu I took a piece, a tiny teaspoon of coffee ice cream, and some sort of eggy flan. But took nibbles with the chopsticks and then covered it with a napkin and was done. I didn’t drink anything. I actually felt more sick trying to drink something to take medication when I got home. A few sips of water. I worked hard to eat right but let myself have a very tiny bit of something. I felt the need to test. I’m nearly seven months out and can’t eat regular foods but sometimes we need to be able to feel like we can join other people when they eat and not be tempted. The others ate plates and plates. I ate a few ounces. But it was ok. I got upset when they paid the bill and could have asked for mine to be a child’s portion but didn’t care to ask. I stepped away and despite my autism got up the nerve to go to the desk and mention my surgery and they would have accommodated me had they just asked when we sat down. But I wasn’t in a place to ask I rarely if ever eat out. So don’t be afraid to ask. And get the little medical card from BariatricPal you never know when a restaurant will be open to it. will this be helpful to anyone I hope so. I made sure to eat protein first and fill up. And just a tiny taste of the coffee flavor desert that I remembered liking before surgery. Just a taste. i was worried and I am trying to do little things without stressing too hard. Just keep in mind my own personal rules and foods I can manage. third edit. I think I am learning that due to a neurological form of dysphasia, water and thinner liquids actually make me feel more sick, thN soft easier to digest foods, it’s crazy.

I fell off the map. I’ve been feeling unwell to say the least. I think what bothered me about answers is that no matter what I do, even before surgery, eating out will always be a challenge, not just about food although how limited options can overwhelm is an issue but not being able to navigate socially without assistance puts a kink in it. While others do it all casually without thought. I accept I’m not normal, it’s just an issue when sensory processing disorder makes being out publicly a hardship, and oddities like I can’t bring home leftovers without triggering my ocd doesn’t help. Ah well. I fumble and fall even trying to write something online.

Some nutritionist guides have odd foods (to me at least) I’m trying to avoid my addiction foods like cheese, and only occasionally use a little butter. I’m taking it slower than most to add things. When I tried recommended purée like tuna it made me too ill. Albeit I have stricture and other issues unrelated to my RNY. But cheese, unless it’s cottage cheese should wait until a few months (for me I’m trying never unless non dairy) I highly recommend GoodCulture cottage cheese it’s high protein with good probiotics and also small curd. (The only cottage cheese I could tolerate)

@sillykitty i can’t believe it’s done and I’m sure you’re relieved it is. Hold a small pillow to your belly whenever you need to cough, breath, move ... the catheter is a pain, the constant sensation of needing to pee but it’s a blessing right after to not need to get out of bed. I had it after my hysterectomy, after a pelvic surgery, and for what felt like far too long after my gastric bypass surgery... Rolling over in bed will be hard but I slept in my own bed anyway, you find ways to adapt. Use the side rail of the hospital bed to maneuver yourself. You will probably find it hard to walk upright for awhile afterwards, getting in and out of cars is awkward, but as for pain I think you will be ok. Regarding your boobs, remember they are squashed by bandages and compression. They need healing before you see true results. can I tell you something funny? Here I was the most shy about anyone seeing any part of me- (forever ago) I had breast reduction surgery at a clinic in nyc (my doctor was awesome though) it was very early morning after my surgery and I had a whole team of doctors checking out my boobs and how good the doctors work was ... 😂

I don’t think it’s that simple, but for me personally I couldn’t take Metformin for PCOS since it made me ill, turned out it makes endometriosis worse. I also have Adult onset congenital adrenal hyperplasia and an inability to exercise. I followed extreme low carb, low calories for years but at some point it stopped working and I couldn’t seem to eat low enough calories to lose. I began my bariatric surgery journey when I found out I needed my gallbladder out.

I agree with not wanting to introduce anything new into your system. Best of luck at the doctor that all goes well. They always make me anxious when I don’t know what to expect or say. Edit: I was typing and just saw your reply. I hope your doctor is right. But I personally don’t always trust my doctors interpretations. A muscle relaxer might help. I take muscle relaxer for spasms but don’t necessarily find it helps my gut. Depends on what he gave you. i dread MOM. do try to massage your belly. I deal with daily chronic pain. And gut issues. Start gentle. I’ll try to attach a link to something to help describe what I mean. Starting from the lower right up and around to the colon you can use your knuckles to massage in small circles as you go around. My darn hands are too weak I can’t do it often but did after surgery. Or sometimes rubbing in circular motion around your belly. It’s supposed to be good for ileus, adhesions, constipation.getting gas to go through, but mainly it’s good for when the pain is bad and you don’t know what else to do. https://pwr4life.org/forms/wellness-series-docs/Diana_BLOG_ABDOMINAL_MASSAGE.pdf

I looked “healthy and vertical based” post op, and yet had aspiration pneumonia due to neurological dysfunction of the epiglottis (dysphasia) I also have lifelong chronic illness and disability but you don’t visually see it. the CT showed partial blockage, do I trust CT’s um not so much. My CT’s showed narrowing of the colon, colon wall thickening and possible colitis yet a colonoscopy yielded no answers except diverticulitis. (Sorry I’ll get to the point) if the ct showed partial blockage with a combination of aspiration issues due to GERd than it’s not as simple as castor oil. I have intestinal problems at first post op i had bloody diarrhea, ended up in the Er, then i was lucky if I went Once every two weeks. Something just gets stuck in transit in my gut. I can’t rely on laxatives I have too much muscle weakness and damage due to chronic illness. And the more you take the more dependent your body becomes. Plus I’m allergic to glycols. For some reason the magnesium citrate drink made me severely ill. As did MOM. each person has their own things they just can’t do. Or that works but it seems This is a sensitive problem and needs the right approach. I would be concerned about laxatives at this point. I’m surprised with all that’s going on that the doctor would suggest laxatives Rather than further testing. It’s concerning that a part of the bowel isn’t functioning as it should. And that you have inflammation. Ileus is where the portion of bowel isn’t moving things along the way it should. Maybe the doctor feels it will get better on its own as the bowel wakes up. Maybe moving around more to get your gut motility moving. Bladder spasms are probably connected they are all connected. I’ve had a lot on my plate, some from surgery some not. I had another surgery before my gastric bypass surgery, also had my gallbladder removed along with the RNY, and then another surgery last month. I do have stricture. I’ve had difficulty with thinner liquids, and couldn’t tolerate purée. I’m slowly trying to add things late in the game. Trying moving around. Try some gentle things like massaging your stomach in a circular motion starting from the lower right up and around to the colon, is that counter clockwise? Also if you can tolerate it try sipping smooth move tea. I don’t use anything long term but used liquid cascara sagrada (it tastes like a strong licorice) I didn’t mix it in anything but you could. everything is backed up for you including gas, you don’t want to end up dehydrated or with other complications. Post op pain meds also slow the gut down. If you are still taking it the doctor can prescribe Relistor to help get things moving. i Got frustrated with trying to get answers from my gastroenterologist and asked for a prescription for linzess. But give things a little time. It is painful but just keep trying to get protein first look for protein shots so it’s small doses, and hopefully at the next appointment the doctor will order testing if it’s not improved. They might order a barium enema. My answers are scattered and hopefully make sense my memory is terrible and my sense of timeline is worse. As long as you get answers and solutions to this that’s what matters most.