I'm just scared of what's to come because for right now the ball is not in my court so I can't dictate how things will go until after I have surgery. I know I can do it but my mind is having conflicting issues. The main thing that keeps coming up to drive them away is how I felt when I made my decision to go forth and have the surgery. I was happy and excited. I felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. It was as if I knew in my heart I should do this and it was finally catching up to my brain.
I know it's normal to have these doubts. I know others on the boards have them too. I'm so glad that I have the boards to turn to because now I know I am not alone in how I feel.
So as I finish this post I finally have gotten these doubts out of my head and can move forward in preparing for the days to come. I am a strong person. I'm probably stronger then I give myself credit. I can't wait until I can look in the mirror and finally see the person I imagine myself to be.
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