CyndieRI

I'm not even a full month past an invasive surgery. It's immediately visible to anyone who looks at my stats, and it ought to be enough that people give me a little bit of a break. And yet. I made a comment in a thread last night (my first comment in said thread), to correct a little bit of "what about the newbies" concern trolling (as a newbie, I'm qualified), and someone with a very high "reputation score" immediately jumped in and 1) lumped me in with the people they'd been heatedly arguing with for tens of posts, 2) misrepresented what I was saying, and 3) insulted my intelligence. Or at least my education level. When I clarified (angrily, because that's clearly what this person wanted from me, and I am honestly at the very end of my fuse for reasons that aren't relevant to the point I'm making), they doubled down, replying with one abusive post after another in rapid succession. It was awful.
The thread has been closed, so while I guess maybe you could still go find it, please don't. If you witnessed it, please don't reopen that line of discussion or name the other person who behaved badly; that is not the point of this post. I'm not making a one-person call-out post; I'm talking about trends. Usually it's a couple of groups of veterans and near-veterans I see squabbling amongst each other, and if you go back in the archives a year, you can see a different set of near-veterans doing pretty much the same thing, about slightly different topics. (All that necroposting someone's been doing lately has accidentally surfaced a lot of ugliness.) And that is the behavior I'd rather focus on: people coming here to fight, being willing to bully newer members in the course of those fights, and still maintaining a high reputation. It's "people," plural, and it's a real problem.
It makes reputation really misleading: we should lose reputation when we make the site more negative. And, yeah, the fact that I was provoked to the point of throwing insults back probably means I should lose a little bit of reputation for that, too.
My point is, it would be nice to see some way for the community, or the moderators, to penalize bad behavior. Because without that, reputation is incredibly misleading.
(I am, however, posting this in Rants & Raves and not Website Suggestions, because the details of how you build a fair moderation system are complicated. Done naively, it would just become another avenue for bullying and cliquishness; you can already see the ghost of that in the meangirl way some people use the "laughing" response on posts they disagree with. And I don't really expect Alex et. al. to put in that level of work, to learn how to do it fairly and then implement that. So this is just a rant. I'm angry that people get to behave badly, bully newer members, and still get little markers by their names suggesting that they are trustworthy. I'm of the opinion that removing reputation altogether would be better than what we have now, but I feel like that's not going to be a view that many share. So. Just a rant. Ignore me if you want; this isn't going anywhere, and I'm not going to pursue it now that I have it out of my system.)

I understand how you feel. My husband was working so a friend of mine too me for my surgery. He did come later that night but a was nauseous and vomiting (which he can’t be around) so he didn’t stay long. The next night he was out of town so he didn’t visit at all (I stayed 2 nights because I couldn’t keep anything down). I was very disappointed in him - but proud of myself for doing this for ME!

As for constipation - I think the pain meds make it way worse. For that reason I never took any. I have enough trouble in that area! Since I came home I take Miralax every day and it seems to be working.

Good luck and keep your head up. You are on your way to a healthier you!! 👍

I was sleeved on 10/10. I still go out. I just drink Water now. All my friends know I had surgery so it hadn’t been an issue. I would rather go out and have water than miss out on the fun!

Grace is a healthy 12lbs 6oz! Doing very well! 🤗😍

Can’t help with the sustenance- but the one thing that really helped me through the liquid stage was getting wonton Soup from my favorite Chinese restaurant. I just had the broth but it was so good and “familiar” which for some reason made a big difference! Good luck!!

Ohhh hun im so sorry ! This is what I mean. I feel like things like that some people should put aside for those that they love ! I mean I hate anything to do with vomit but obviously you cant think about that, you're going through hell and only wish you had someone hold your hair up, rub your back or just be there to check up on you and make sure you dont pass out or something. My best friend didnt visit me at all during my stay, which was in her city. And I still have yet to see her. But again, I'm just trying to prioritize myself now, and not to be petty but really give what I can and stop going above and beyond fort those that cant do the same for me. So I'm glad I've been pushing myself as you should be very proud of yourself too for that !! I know it isnt easy, but it's making us stronger for sure and buildingcharacter for ourselves !
I've thought about what to take ! Ive been talking half tabs of senekot stool softener but it's so bitter and disgusting ! Ive also tried mitts apple sauce tropical with added Fiber, man did that send me running ! I'm not sure if it was because I finally got the effects of the stool softener or if it was that but holy did it work so now I try incorporating it to every meal. How much miralax do you use ??
Thanks hun for your reply as well !

I am gonna offer to do this or help run it somehow at my next support group.

That’s such a great idea. So good.

Yeah that’s such a great idea ;)

Does anyone elses stomach make super loud noises at night like mine does? I feel like its hunger pains but then again i'm not really that hungry. Theres alot of swishing and wierd noises coming from in there and I don't know why. Stan is loud. (yes i named my new stomach)

My doctor’s office has a nutritionist that maintains a “closet” - which is really a room - that people can bring in clothes that they have outgrown and take clothes in their current size. It’s all sorted by size so it’s easy to find the size you need. It’s AWESOME! I wish all offices did this. 👍

Good luck to everyone having surgery tomorrow!!

Good luck to everyone having surgery tomorrow!!

I understand how you feel. My husband was working so a friend of mine too me for my surgery. He did come later that night but a was nauseous and vomiting (which he can’t be around) so he didn’t stay long. The next night he was out of town so he didn’t visit at all (I stayed 2 nights because I couldn’t keep anything down). I was very disappointed in him - but proud of myself for doing this for ME!

As for constipation - I think the pain meds make it way worse. For that reason I never took any. I have enough trouble in that area! Since I came home I take Miralax every day and it seems to be working.

Good luck and keep your head up. You are on your way to a healthier you!! 👍

You can also try clicker training. In this scenario, you take her outside and walk around until she goes. Then quickly say the command word (mine is “hurry up”, my childhood dog we used “atta girl”), click, and give a very small treat and praise, then go back inside.
Look up clicker training to get a better idea of how it works, there’s an actual process. You phase bits out so eventually all that’s left is the command and praise. You can use the clicker for all sorts of training, I highly recommend it - my dog is pretty eager to please to start with, but other people think she’s a saint and it’s mostly down to rigorous clicker training when she was a puppy.

she is a cockapoo.

I am 11 day post op. My face changes daily. Lumps come and go. Swelling does the same. Most incision areas still have a lot of numbness. The process doesn’t really chill out for weeks...won’t know what I’m really going to look like until about 4 months out but what I look like now is a good indicator.
Aside from a brutal 5-6 day headache, the pain has been minimal. I’m mostly itchy now.
I’m going to try to post a before and after I put together a day to so ago. The bruising will be around for quite some time.

I had a goal shirt in my closet I was never able to wear. It was a T-shirt I bought when I went to a Red Sox game a few years ago. I was very naive to think it would have fit back then. I remembered thinking before I had surgery, that I hope I get small enough to wear this. Sure enough, I tried it on last week. It's almost too big. Such a good feeling!

I bought a medium dress because it was on sale for $6 , at that time I was still in a 2x but I figured I would fit it eventually. I now comfortably fit it.

I’m 52 and had surgery on 10/10. I wish I did it years ago but I don’t focus on the past. I’m focused on today - and the future! My highest weight was (an embarrassing 365). Surgery weight was 327 and I was 316 as of this morning.

Grace’s 2 month check-up is Monday....will give you an update. Lost 21 pounds of the 36 gained during pregnancy...so we are both doing well. She feels like a solid 12 lbs but I may be wrong..we’ll see! 🤗

Great advice above. Once you start eating Cookies, cakes, crackers you crave them more. Remove temptations foods from the house and give yourself time to detox off them. You may feel funky for a while but it will help you to find your weight loss mojo again. Find activities that help process life stresses/emotions read, play, Paint a room, landscape, go for a walk, therapy, hang with friends and family, be artistic, watch a comedy and laugh ect. Love the video game idea @OpsMatt
Options to try -
My disclaimer - Ignore any advice that's not on your plan
Night snacking/head hunger - keep a veggie tray in the fridge (option low calorie dip/dressing) - Allow yourself to eat until full. If you try to bargain with yourself for another option then you know its head hunger.
A warm beverage that calms your stomach before bed: Examples - (sugar free sweeteners optional)
Camomile lavender tea unsweetened cashew milk sleepy time tea hot cocoa - Hot Water, unsweetened cashew milk, Hershey's Sugar Free Chocolate Syrup

Agreed on getting the bad food out of the house. You won't be tempted to eat it if you keep it on hand. Think back to when you first got back on solid foods, what were your typical Snacks like within the bounds of your new lifestyle? Were there ones you enjoyed that are also healthy? Try to keep those on hand instead.
But also try to find an outlet for your stress that isn't food related. My personal thing is video games. It's how I unwind when I've had a rough day (it's also REALLY helpful in distracting you from head hunger). Get absorbed in a book, watch a movie or a tv show that you like, listen to music and dance like a maniac in the bathroom. Most of us got to where we are because we turned to food to heal our bad feelings and it is very much an addiction just like alcoholism. Breaking that cycle is a huge part of being successful with this surgery.

Dawn, good to see you! Your progress is awesome! Congrats!
Like you, my 7-month surgiversary is tomorrow. I am down 90 lbs. and just yesterday, weighed the exact same as my husband!!! That has never-ever-never happened in our 29-year marriage. In a few days, I may be the lightest person in my house! I would have been happy with this at 1 year; I'd never have imagined that it could happen this quickly.

A. Her husband had a Halloweenie:)
Happy Halloween ya'll!

My best friend and I go out to lunch several times a month. About 3 years ago, she developed an aggressive form of breast cancer. Part of her treatment was to become vegetarian. We both would have suffered if she didn't want to meet up with me because she couldn't eat what I ate. Instead, I made it my challenge to find great tasting vegan/vegetarian restaurants that she hadn't tried yet. Even if I ate some grilled chicken, she was ok, because we had gone somewhere that had good, tempting options for her, as well.
After I had my surgery, we found places that were not only vegetarian but offered bariatric-friendly Soups, too. Maybe your friends can help you identify the best virgin-drinks in town or offer to be your ride (once you can have a drink or two). Another great support is someone (or more) who are willing to share a couple of bites of their meals with you so that you get the experience without having to waste an entire entree.
Giving up our former relationship with food causes grieving and we can go through the steps of grief. You are in the anger stage right now, but you will transition through it and life will be good again.