CyndieRI

I'm not a good example for maintenance, or at least not in context of what we hear about here on BP. My goal always was to eat a normal diet, just smaller quantities. So that's what I'm doing. It goes against pretty everything preached here, so I'm keeping it pretty low key. That's why I'm not posting on the food Before and After Thread. So far so good, but these are still very early days. I'm willing to adjust and eat more mindfully if the scale begins to creep up. But whatever I end up doing long term it will always be more of a "normal" diet vs. restrictive. I will always eat out A LOT, drink alcohol, enjoy ethnic food, etc., I just may need to balance that with being stricter while I'm home.
I think I'm just at a standstill on Hair loss. Maybe it's growing back? I don't know I've always had tons of fly away baby hairs, hard to tell if there are more than there was before. If yours is just breakage maybe try some hair masks? (And for you too @Orchids&Dragons) I just bought one from Amazon that gets great reviews, because I flat Iron my hair more now then I did before. So you don't like your hair down? I don't like mine up, because my ponytail is like the diameter of a nickle, vs. a quarter before , and it shows the thinning through my temples.
I like the style a lot. Cause, it's basically my hair, only now it's shorter. . I like the color too, mine is similar as well. I had my colorist take some of the "golden" tones out last time because it goes a little too red for my liking, especially in the sunlight. So I'm starting to lean towards ash tones vs. golden tones. But my complexion tends to flush and go red, so I'm trying to counteract that a bit. You may not have that issue.

Hi Everyone,

Had my sleeve one week ago and I cannot thank everyone enough for all the sharing they have done. These posts have gotten me through some really tough days and I just wanted to say a HUGE THANK YOU to everyone!
I went through the regret stage, but knew that it wasn't uncommon and that helped tremendously! I have been forcing myself to hydrate and move around and today I even went back to the gym to walk on the treadmill for a while! I feel amazing, advanced my diet and just knowing that you are all here to support me (and everyone else) has been life changing! I know this is a marathon and not a sprint but having all of you in my corner means the world to me!
Thank you all so much and keep posting! It all matters!!!
Hugs,
Judy

No matter who you are, the Holidays can be a tough time dealing with family. When you’re a bariatric patient, it can be either a time for those you love to gather around you and help you Celebrate the amazing work you’ve done this year...or it can feel like an emotional onslaught of criticisms, misinformation, and awkward conversations about your new lifestyle.


First off, I just want to say this very important thing, if you take nothing else away from this article, let it be this- People’s reactions to you are based on their relationship with themselves, not you. Always.
Someone who is living at peace with themselves will have no need to harshly criticize, no desire to humiliate, and no feelings of unresolved jealousy. Sadly, once you understand this, you also realize how many people in your life are unhappy with themselves on some level. It makes it a little easier not to take things personally, but I would be lying if I said those things don’t hurt anymore.
So how do you deal with friends and family members who are not living at peace with themselves? What practical steps can you take to be at peace with yourself so that you are able to reject those statements and hurtful judgments instead of internalizing them?
Here’s the bottom line- You will always have people in your life who do not wish you well, who want to see you fail. If you do not learn to look past them and stay focused on you and your progress, and live at peace with yourself- you will experience re-gain. I love the words from Eleanor Roosevelt, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”
1) Start with yourself- You need to be at peace with yourself. Who you are, what you weigh, your progress level, etc. Easier said than done, I know. But working towards that will allow you to bypass other’s opinions of you because you know who you are and where you’re going. A simple way to begin embracing yourself is positive self-talk. Start by looking into the mirror as often as you can, and saying things to yourself like, “I am a beautiful, peacefully person and I love me.” Say hello to yourself. “Hi Ash, you are a wonderful, beautiful person and I am SO proud of you.” It’s going to feel super painful and may trigger some emotions. Process those as they come, don’t shy away from the feelings that embracing yourself brings. If you need to cry, do so. If you smile, embrace it. Enjoy yourself. Changing that negative narrative in your head that so many of us carry around, is step one.

2) Be honest- When someone says something that’s offensive, it usually comes from one of 2 places: a poor relationship with themselves, or a lack of education. Use your best judgment to determine which it is. Keep in mind, there are a LOT of myths and misinformation surrounding bariatric surgery. Don’t assume people know more than they do. Think back to before you became an expert on Bariatric Surgery. How many questions you had, how many myths you thought were accurate. Seek to educate. But be honest, if someone makes a hurtful comment, let them know. Keep it simple, “Hey, that was uncalled for.” or “Please don’t say things like that to me.” Try to stay calm and in control.
3) Take a break- If you need a break, take one! Go for a walk, get out of the house, go listen to music alone. Don’t feel bad for needing a break. Family time can be stressful, don’t allow others to jeopardize your progress. When you’re stressed and anxious, you’re more prone to overeating which puts you back on that harmful cycle you’re working so hard to stay off of. Give yourself permission to stay home sometimes too, you don’t need to be at every single family gathering. It’s okay to opt out. People may get offended, they may try to make you feel guilty, but remember- it’s not about you. It’s all about how they feel about themselves. Those who are at peace with themselves will support you and do their best to understand where you’re coming from.
4) Stay focused- This is a tough one. Holidays pull our focus in so many directions, it’s easy for us to lose focus on our goals. Be proactive about making plans for yourself for food and exercising during the holidays. Being ahead of the game and staying on top of your plans will make you feel peaceful and accomplished. When you feel this way, your confidence is harder to shake and you will feel more secure. When you’re focused on a goal, it consumes your focus and the other things that pop up to derail you just fade into the background. Stick to your routine, take your supplements, and stay on track. You can do this!
5) Stay connected- Join a support group in-person or online, find an accountability buddy, hire a coach, or grab a friend who will keep you focused without judgment. Someone you can call, text or write to keep them updated so they can provide you with the encouragement you may not be getting from others this season. Having connection fills an emotional need that many try to fill with food. If you’re getting that need met, you won’t be as tempted to eat for comfort. Connection is something we all need, so make it a priority to have someone in your corner this holiday season.
Remember, at the end of the day- this season is temporary. All the food, all the family, all the hustle and bustle. The things that can make or break this season. It’s all temporary. You are what you carry into the New Year. Your health journey is what lasts. Keep your sights on the long term. You can do this, I believe in you!

One of the biggest thing that I am concerned about as I begin this journey is regain. I promised myself while I was laying on that table that I was not going to ever do this to myself again. I promised myself that I was going to work on the things that I needed to work on that I am no longer going to use food as my lover as my companion as my confidant. So to ensure that I continue on this journey I decided that I was going to go public. It is so easy to stay behind the scenes but I know myself. So today I made a YouTube video and now it's kind of crazy and it's not really for other people is just for me to Chronicle my journey and to keep myself accountable. I know this might be viewed as real silly because really it is a personal Journey but I feel that at this moment I don't want to be a secret anymore. Many bad things has happened to me because of Secrets and going public is actually cathartic. I don't know of any other people feel the way that I do but I guess we all have our own way of coping and embracing this new Journey. Mine is still very very new. I just have been on here and I have to tell you that knowing that there's somebody out there and the responses and support that I have received has been amazing. So I'm thankful to this community for making me feel less isolated and feel welcomed. I hope that I can continue to be a blessing to somebody as you guys have been to me
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I can honestly say that I've never judged someone based on their size, and if I ever did, I would be totally ashamed of myself. It is not my place to judge, whether silently or outwardly. As someone who has struggled with my weight my entire life, I know how it feels to have strangers laugh at you, gossip about you, and stare in disgust or amusement. It's truly one of the worst feelings in the world, and the reason that I was too scared to even leave my house for several months. I was terrified of being laughed at.
Some of the replies here truly make me sick -- especially coming from people who struggled with obesity at one point in their lives. Judging people is never right. Regardless of whether you think you're "helping" them, you aren't. You're making things worse.

I had my husband get wonton Soup from my favorite Chinese restaurant- and then strained it (he ate the “good stuff”!) It was comfortingly familiar and was my favorite broth the first couple of weeks after my sleeve.

Hi...I'm 52 and I may be losing a little slower than someone that's younger and I stall often BUT I am steady with my weight loss and couldn't be happier and pleased.
I keep in the back of my mind what one of the posters @Matt Z stated and shared in one of his earlier post, it's the big picture. That post really left a good impression on my mind. I am so okay with my rate of weight loss because in 12-18 months I am CERTAIN that I will be at goal and living my best life. 💪
You will be just fine as long as you stick to your plan and try to move as much as you can 😉

So I’m happy to report my stall “broke” 2 days ago! I was sleeved on 10/10 at 327lbs. I got down to 300.8 after 4 weeks. Then still 300.8 (exactly) at 5 weeks and 6 weeks and 6 weeks+6 days. Wednesday morning I stepped on the scale (exactly 7 weeks out and 3 weeks since I lost an ounce) and I was 299! YAY - I haven’t been under 300lbs in 10+ years! Then yesterday 298 and today 297.4. How weird!! 3 weeks of not losing anything and then 3 days in a row of losing! Obviously I’m so happy and I’ll never fear the stall again! Lol

I don't have the coverage. Getting the sleeve on December 26 and paying myself. Ridiculous that they'd rather pay for decades of illness caused by obesity.

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Thanks Fluffy! And thanks for calling me young! That made my day (I’m 52!)

Totally off topic - but do you have alpaca?? I went to an alpaca farm today as I treat (I hit 70lbs lost - 38 before sleeve and 32 after). I had such a great time. I even got to pet a baby!!

With all that Protein and cheese - how will you poop?!?!

Thank you again @MIZ60 for showing me how to implement use the strike through button! It's given me and will continue to give me hours upon hours minutes/seconds of joy and amusement. Merry Christmas, dollface!!!! ((hugs)) 🤣

I can totally relate to what you are saying. I told a few friends I was "thinking about it" and the reaction i got was negative. Some examples are :
- That's crazy, I would never do that!
- Just exercise & eat right
- People die from the surgery
- People gain weight back after the surgery
- You won't be able to eat what you want
And the list goes on.....
So I chose to not tell anyone except 2 people. I find a lot of strength here on this board & a friend I talk to, which I met on this board. She is my biggest support system & I am so grateful.
Just a suggestion, only discuss it with supportive people in your life. It's your life and you can do what you want with it.
Kind of a related story;
About 12 years ago I saved up & got a "nose job". I always had a very big nose, but I was very afraid of the pain after surgery & the surgery itself. When i finally decided to do it; people told me I didn't need it, your crazy, that's the nose God gave you, you will be in a lot of pain... etc. Basically not supportive. I did it anyway and I'm so glad i did!!! I love my new nose and am no longer self conscience looking people face to face and talking to them, like I used to be. Yes, there was pain afterwards, but It was worth it to me.
I KIND OF view this the same way. People may not be supportive, but we all have to do what's right for ourselves!

You know whats interesting? I only told a few hand selected people from my place of employment also, however someone came up to me and said "I heard a rumor...." I switched the topic instantly and made a fast getaway. Like HOW are people finding this out or why does it matter so much what im doing?
Now im just assuming but that's the only thing that is going on in my life that they would "hear" about. By logical deduction he was being ultra nosy (hes one a mega busybody) and wanted to get the info. It just really irks me. Since when did I become so frigging interesting? I swear WLS does something to people. Where it's like this crazy SUPER interesting topic that people HAVE to chime in for, kinda like politics or religion.
People are very uncomfortable about others changing. Ive really started to realize this. Anytime a constant is changed especially if you are close to them (family, friends, significant others) or work in close proximity (work places), people literally have to confront themselves with how they feel about YOU changing. It's crazy. The psychology of it all.

Girl, we've all heard those comments too and it does hurt. I'm with you--is it jealousy, concern, rudeness? I am 53 years old and decided to quit giving people any power over me due to their own emotional struggles with my decision. I have struggled with obesity for 30 years. My loved ones and friends are all very supportive and I'll just be satisfied with that. There will be a ton of support on this forum. Maybe tell them you decided to take control of your life and be proactive. If that doesn't shut them down, make it clear that you are firm in your decision and that you would appreciate any support they'd like to offer, but that the decision is made. Period.

Today was hard. I have surgery this Friday 20th. I've been eating the pre-op "envelope meal" diet almost 2 weeks and today the office ordered Cheesecake Factory. It's not their fault that I made the decision to do the surgery, but I still wanted to kick their chairs out from underneath them. It's literally all I can do to keep myself from saying "Eff it" and going for a steak and beer. I know I know, I am so close to surgery; I wont sabotage myself.
One other thing that has been on my mind is how some people I have told have reacted to my news. I honestly didn't tell people for a long time about what I was doing because I didn't want to listen to everyone's opinions. I've worked in the medical field for 20 years and if I have questions I know who to ask.
It doesn't stop people from saying things that are seriously discouraging:
- "Oh wow. Can't you lose it on your own without having surgery?"
- "I could NEVER do a liquid diet for that long."
- "Haven't people died getting that done?"
- "Awwww! Your surgery is the day of my party?? That sucks! We were having a Mexican food buffet too! I know that's your favorite. Well, at least you are missing for a good reason."
- "I'm fat too, but there is no way I would have surgery."
- "Let's go to {insert restaurant/bar here} before you have surgery since you wont be able to do it after that."
- "You know you can't have carbonated beverages the rest of your life, right?"
- "Don't people gain their weight back most of the time anyway?"
It's hard to tell if people are trying to make me feel bad about my decision because they don't understand it, or it they are jealous or just being downright hateful. I don't get it. I just needed to vent. Today was the hardest day I've had so far and I needed to get that off my chest. I keep telling myself that by this weekend it will all be over and I can start focusing on living a normal life again, just healthier this time.

How about " I might not mind helping you but I had my Save The. World urge removed along with my surgery.

You forgot "I'd love to help you but I don't want to lol.

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Ha! You're welcome!

I am hopeful, yes I am. Still hospitalized, have been since Wednesday November 28, my first guess was dismissal tomorrow, now maybe 35% ? I now have a PICC line in my upper left arm, inner side toward my body. And I have a bag of TPN RUNNING IN continuingly, tonight if all is well they will start cycling it to prepare me for exit. But I WILL go home with the PICC line still in. I need to be on a higher Protein count than my current diet will provide to heal my rampant crop of ulcers. Every endoscopy they are discovering more, I have followed every instruction, taken every med, tried to ingest as much as my tempermental gastric pouch, Precious Pouch, will permit. Last I attemped to eat something she in the past had accepted, over 40 minutes to swallow, less than 10 minutes to empty back up. And that had been happening pretty frequently. So here. I BE!
PICC SITE- not excessively painful,feels like it was attached with a staple gun, but am learning how to pivot with it, got to take a walk with Physical Therapy pushing my pole, pretty fine to do. Alerted my nurse I was on the verge of an breakdown in my backside, near and into a**. crack, had one before, k,ow how it feels, have a shock- absorb dressing. And Oh I Does Help! Otherwise turning the corner on a slow pivot toward renewed health!

The best thing about all this is all this forum I think... I am 32 and hopefully all will sort out and it will be as you say... fingers crossed as at the moment its just weakness and constatn fear of another bleeding and potassium levels falling down constantly, I am trying to drink and eat but it is just making so kuch problems and discomfort... every time I drink something I am sweating like never in my live anything I eat I am pulsating and vibrating with whole body... I am definitely not reaching any of my goals 🤔

I just wish I had a sleeve but not bypass as i think with all the complications I made my life harder way way way harder... other than this I hope I won’t regret it in the future...

Thanks Fluffy! And thanks for calling me young! That made my day (I’m 52!)

hehe not to go all gansta on you, but I'd probably be tempted to consider cutting a b***h to get back my original 3lb/week weight loss I had in the Wonder Weeks just after surgery. bahahahaaha!