Soooo...to solidify my goal I went into my profile and changed my ticker and goals...after it was posted I read the numbers. When I reach goal I will have lost 93lbs. The enormity of that number left me feeling as if I had been socked in the stomach. For my height that is an entire another whole person that I have been tugging and trudgeing along with in life. I also recognized the other numbers....I have lost 57 lbs....and only have 36 lbs left to go. I am almost dumbfounded at the impact those number are having on me at this moment.
I want to cheer for my success and cry for my letting myself get to where I was. It freaks me out that I can honestly think about wearing sleak sexy clothing that I used to envy. I no longer have an excuse.
What a head trip my past has played on me. I feel free of many demons and for some reason it terrifies me. Is it because I now am willing to accept full responsiblity for my life and my actions where as before I didn't and would blame on anything I could?
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