diabladepaz

On social media, I see entire Instagram accounts dedicated to people's personal journeys of getting sleeved. I see so many that this *feels* like the norm. But I am curious to know...do any of you NOT tell a lot of people about your surgery? I am not ashamed to be getting sleeved, but for whatever reason I do feel very private about it. It feels like this deeply personal medical decision that I don't want to involve more people in than is necessary. I am not inclined to tell more people than I absolutely have to, at least until I have actually had the surgery. I am working through so many of my own fears and anxieties that I feel like I don't have emotional bandwidth to tell others about my surgery and deal with their questions, fears, and anxieties about it. I'd rather wait until it's done and then tell people as I feel comfortable. Would love to know your thoughts/experiences about how open you chose to be...

On track to get sleeved in January. I have days where I’m super excited, and other days where I feel so scared. What did you do to push past your fear? How did you truly know you were ready? I’m told by my PCP and Bariatric office that I’m a great candidate. My husband is supportive. But I’m so scared of the “what ifs” with both surgery and life after. I’m so glad this forum exists so I can read your experiences and share mine.

Thank you, everyone, for your thoughtful responses. I read them and mulled them over and your words made me feel a lot better!

It is common to be nervous prior to surgery. So here are a few suggestions to get your mind off the surgery.
1. Take a good before photograph of yourself, so that you have something to compare to after surgery. Many times we are blind to our obesity. We do not see ourselves. Therefore when the weight begins to drop off rather dramatically, we question if this is really happening. Photographs are a good visualization of our success. Many people carry a before and after photo with them, just to remind themselves of their success. I have included my 6 month post-op comparison photograph as an example.
2. Walk 30 minutes each day, every day until surgery (or equivalent exercise). Walking helps the recovery process go smoothly and minimized the pain levels from surgery.
3. Wean yourself from caffeine and carbonated beverages now. After I gave up my 6 diet coke a day habit, I suffered from a week of severe withdrawal syndrome consisting of severe headaches and body aches. I was miserable. You don't want to combine the effects of caffeine withdrawal with the effects of surgery.

Well you have 5 months to think about it.

Hi! I am scheduled for surgery on this coming Monday August 27th. I keep waiting to be terrified or super nervous but I have been cool as a cucumber during the majority of this journey. I started the process for my approval in October of last year and was originally scheduled for July 27th. I ended up having to reschedule due to financial issues but it's worked out for the best.
I will say that I was the most nervous at my initial doctors appointment because I wasn't sure if it would be something I could do. Am I too young? (just turned 22) Too light? (250 at 5'5'') Can I deal with the radical lifestyle changes including no alcohol for 1 year+? To help with this, I made a list of questions that were most important to me and had my surgeon and nutritionist answer them all. I also came here and to Obesity Help and just started going through all of the forums. Good, bad and ugly I wanted to know EVERYTHING. I think that looking up horror stories and worst case scenarios helped calm me since they were the exceptions and not the rule. I also took stock of my own personal situation and realized that I am in pretty good shape so the odds that I will have a major complication are slim. I don't know your health history but it might help to compare yourself to some of the "worse off" people on these forums. Some started at well over 500 lbs and have been able to successfully lose and keep the weight off so the odds are definitely in your favor. Further, I fully intend on being 100% compliant and happily tell my surgeon that if I die its because he killed me (ER life has given me a morbid sense of humor).
Maybe it'd help to make a running list of pros and cons in a journal over the coming months. Anything good and bad related to having the surgery should be written down and compared. And if you make it to December and cons outweigh the pros, you can always reschedule. Surgeons and thus surgery will always be there as an option so don't rush into it if it isn't the right time for you.
Sorry for the long post but I'm at work and this is one of few unblocked sites lol.

Well, today was weird. On the one hand, I am thrilled to be moving forward with pursuing gastric sleeve. I'm thrilled that apparently I don't have to wait six months before I can even schedule surgery.
And why is that?
I found out that my insurance company will not cover my surgery because my BMI is 37 and it needs to be 40, minimum, for them to cover it, unless I have other co-morbidity health issues, which I do not.
I thought that having PCOS and asthma would be enough, but they aren't. It's weird to be pursing something for my health and told I am "unhealthy" enough to get the surgery and be a good candidate for it, but not "unhealthy" enough to have my insurance pay for it. So now we're looking at getting a home equity loan to cover the $16,000 cost, which is due up front. It's a weird feeling. I guess I could gain the 25 lbs needed to qualify, and then go through the 6 month prep period my insurance requires, but that all seems very counterintuitive to why I'm on this journey -- which is to be healthier. So I think I'm just going to go into a bit of debt and do it.
Have you ever heard of this type of situation happening? It's totally weird, isn't it!

Well, today was weird. On the one hand, I am thrilled to be moving forward with pursuing gastric sleeve. I'm thrilled that apparently I don't have to wait six months before I can even schedule surgery.
And why is that?
I found out that my insurance company will not cover my surgery because my BMI is 37 and it needs to be 40, minimum, for them to cover it, unless I have other co-morbidity health issues, which I do not.
I thought that having PCOS and asthma would be enough, but they aren't. It's weird to be pursing something for my health and told I am "unhealthy" enough to get the surgery and be a good candidate for it, but not "unhealthy" enough to have my insurance pay for it. So now we're looking at getting a home equity loan to cover the $16,000 cost, which is due up front. It's a weird feeling. I guess I could gain the 25 lbs needed to qualify, and then go through the 6 month prep period my insurance requires, but that all seems very counterintuitive to why I'm on this journey -- which is to be healthier. So I think I'm just going to go into a bit of debt and do it.
Have you ever heard of this type of situation happening? It's totally weird, isn't it!

Hi there - I am on my six month pre-op journey, planning to get the gastric sleeve. I have a two-year old and sometimes feel so guilty about putting myself at risk through surgery. I'll think about how it's elective, what if something goes wrong, what if I die on the table, etc. etc....and then my daughter will be without a mother. My mom feeds into this guilt, telling me surgery is the wrong thing to do. I need to be strong and make the best decision for me. I understand that I will be healthier overall post-sleeve, but does/did anyone else struggle with this kind of pre-surgery guilt? As a parent, specifically? How do you push past this and not let guilt be a driving force behind your decision? My PCP and husband are supportive, but I just feel like I'm a bad mom sometimes for putting myself through surgery that "isn't necessary", so to speak.

Oh, my heart goes out to you. I have encountered similar situations and they are so painful.

Thanks so much everyone! I had my pre-op appointment and got a lot of questions answered. I am feeling a lot less scared and even excited at the prospect of how different my life could actually be. I am imaging a future of hiking, kayaking, stand up paddle boarding, amusement park rides and general running around with my little girl! Appreciate the support.

Thanks so much everyone! I had my pre-op appointment and got a lot of questions answered. I am feeling a lot less scared and even excited at the prospect of how different my life could actually be. I am imaging a future of hiking, kayaking, stand up paddle boarding, amusement park rides and general running around with my little girl! Appreciate the support.

Oh, my heart goes out to you. I have encountered similar situations and they are so painful.

Hi there - I am on my six month pre-op journey, planning to get the gastric sleeve. I have a two-year old and sometimes feel so guilty about putting myself at risk through surgery. I'll think about how it's elective, what if something goes wrong, what if I die on the table, etc. etc....and then my daughter will be without a mother. My mom feeds into this guilt, telling me surgery is the wrong thing to do. I need to be strong and make the best decision for me. I understand that I will be healthier overall post-sleeve, but does/did anyone else struggle with this kind of pre-surgery guilt? As a parent, specifically? How do you push past this and not let guilt be a driving force behind your decision? My PCP and husband are supportive, but I just feel like I'm a bad mom sometimes for putting myself through surgery that "isn't necessary", so to speak.

Thank you so much for these thoughtful responses. Much appreciated!!!

Hi! I had VSG surgery 6 weeks ago. I also have a 2 year old and a (at the time) 9 month old. I totally get what you are going through! This was my first ever surgery. I had no idea how I would react to anesthesia or if I would wake up from surgery. It was a scary thought. I’m also a nurse, so I may be more crazy than the average person when it comes to medical procedures haha. Just know that this surgery is so low risk and the benefits definitely outweigh the risks!! I have been overweight/obese for my entire life, and I do not want my children to be like that. I want to set a good example for them, run around at the park with them, and never want them to be embarrassed of me as they get older because of my weight. You know what’s best. You seem to have a great support system from your PCP and husband. Good luck! Let me know if you have any questions!

I feel your pain but beware
mom guilt will have you 100lbs heavier 10yrs later still longing for surgery. Mom guilt is a convenient way society prevents women from self actualization. You become a mother and suddenly you're only a mother. Never again an individual who needs hobbies, happiness outside of motherhood or even health. Don't fall into that trap. You never see the reverse strictures placed on males in society. Motherhood is amazing, but i wanted to stick around long enough ( in good enough condition) to enjoy the active parenting phase and beyond without making my future (preventable) medical problems my children's burdens.

Hi there - I am on my six month pre-op journey, planning to get the gastric sleeve. I have a two-year old and sometimes feel so guilty about putting myself at risk through surgery. I'll think about how it's elective, what if something goes wrong, what if I die on the table, etc. etc....and then my daughter will be without a mother. My mom feeds into this guilt, telling me surgery is the wrong thing to do. I need to be strong and make the best decision for me. I understand that I will be healthier overall post-sleeve, but does/did anyone else struggle with this kind of pre-surgery guilt? As a parent, specifically? How do you push past this and not let guilt be a driving force behind your decision? My PCP and husband are supportive, but I just feel like I'm a bad mom sometimes for putting myself through surgery that "isn't necessary", so to speak.