CrankyMagpie

We hear about a lot of divorces/break ups after this surgery. A lot of partners aren't ready for the changes that come after WLS. (I still think my partner is in a little bit of denial about some of what will change as more of my weight comes off and I'm cleared to go to the gym and so on, honestly. I expect he'll be cool about it and roll with the changes, but I don't think he fully understands, yet?) Sometimes people fix things with couples counseling, and if you're inclined to go that route, and he'll go along with it, awesome! If not, it sounds like you haven't tied the knot yet? Maybe ... don't? I don't mean "break up with him today," necessarily, but perhaps pushing the date back would be a wake up call for him, that you aren't going to put up with bad behavior? (I don't know. You know him; I don't. It's just a thought.) Anyway, I agree with the other posters here: you deserve better treatment than you're getting! I wish you the best of luck. ❤️

I have little flashes of it, I guess? (Sleeved 10/3/18.) When I was still miserable, post-op, was probably the worst. I didn't have the full-on "what have I done to myself?" reaction that a lot of people describe, but I was definitely having some feelings, not too many of them positive. I was only really miserable for maybe two days after surgery day, though, and the feelings receded quickly. Now I'll think about wanting to have a croissant, or something I enjoy, and be a little sad I can't. (I know that I will probably be able to have a bite or two of any treat I want again in the future, and some of those treats won't even be all that appealing, so it's really only a little sad. Certainly not sad enough to risk it so early, right?) Or I'll think about the future and about how there's a good chance I'm going to have trouble "blending in" at certain restaurants or in certain crowds of people, forever, and I get a little sad and think "maybe I shouldn't have..." but that's as far as I get, because of course I should have had this surgery. I had a comorbidity that made it pretty much a necessity. A doctor I respect once said (I'm paraphrasing) "Regret comes from indecision. If you're unsure of your decision, that's a recipe for regret." I think that's often true. If you're fully prepared (as much as one can be, just reading others' experiences and statistics and such) and really, really sure this is the right thing for you, I don't think you'll spend a lot of time regretting your choice. But a little? Yeah, I think that's likely, because, as Missouri-Lee said, it's an expensive and irreversible decision, and those always come with "what ifs."

This thread is great. I love seeing new folks come in and watching the progress of those who have been here a while. ❤️ I started over 300, but I saw a 2 in the first digit on the scale today. (Something like 13.5 pounds down since surgery on 10/3. Not exceptionally fast, but nothing to sneeze at, either. I can already walk further and climb hills and stairs better.)

For coughing pain, someone suggested holding a pillow to your stomach, to kind of cushion it and keep everything in place. It might help for sneezing, too?

At day 3 I was pretty close to 48 oz of liquid, counting the protein shakes. Sometimes protein water settled better than shakes. And premade shakes settled better than ones where you mix protein powder with milk. (Those are still a little much for me, close to a month out. I have to go really slow with them, or "water" them down with tea or decaf coffee.) Some people water the premades down, to drink them, in the early days. I found Jello settled better than any other "liquid," which is so weird. (My team didn't make us get beyond 30-40 grams of protein in the first week. Aim for 70, sure, but really, just do your best. Some programs put people on clear liquids for the first week, so any protein you get inside you is going to help, compared to those folks.) It does get better! Drinking gets easier, very soon. Just do your best.

It probably helps that I'd seen how many complications were possible with other medical procedures, so that particular piece of paperwork didn't scare me. (Even the upper endoscopy had a long list! And it was a 5 minute procedure.) I was scared before surgery, but I kept reminding myself that this is one of the safer surgeries out there -- safer than gallbladder removal (which is often done outpatient!) and joint replacement. Also, my surgeon has never (knock on wood) lost a patient, and I knew I'd follow the rules and do everything they told me, to maximize my chances of coming out of the surgery healthy. Also, my options were "get this surgery now and maybe get a break from my arthritis" or "chicken out and keep losing mobility and eventually end up with diabetes and heart disease because I can't exercise." So, pushing myself to get over my fear seemed pretty important. Your math might be different, though, and that's OK. ❤️

I had all kinds of weird back and shoulder pain after surgery. Might have been the gas they used, might have been the hospital bed. It did clear up after a few days at home, doing lots of walking around the house. Did they give you the breathing tool ("incentive spirometer")? If so, use that a few times an hour, and you should be able to keep pneumonia away! I have asthma and get bronchitis every winter, and I did not get pneumonia from the surgery; I'm sure the spirometer was a lot of the reason why.

Just chiming in with a "hi, I also stalled" reassurance. I think it was around the end of week two/beginning of week 3. I'm near the end of week 4 and seeing losses again. Not the crazy ones like during the liquid diet, but multiple ounces most days, at least. And like @JennieJuniper said: often when the scale doesn't move, inches do. As long as we stay on plan, we'll get there! 👍👍

WTAF? You just told me my math was right, by telling me my math was wrong? You are just spoiling for a fight, and I'm done feeding your troll ass.

Jesus, @FluffyChix, what is your problem? Are you an immediate post-op patient? No, you are not. You had your surgery more than six months ago, so you are not relevant to my point. Did I say "150 pounds"? No, I did not. I said 165, because at 165 pounds or more, one needs 60+ grams of protein, by these researchers' estimate. And the vast majority of immediate post-op patients weigh significantly more than 165 pounds. You want to talk about basic skills? Try learning to read. Also, maybe developing a modicum of chill. I was merely pointing out that the "you'll scare the immediate post-ops" is--I was nicer than this, but I'll be more real now--just concern trolling. You did not need to jump down my throat or insult my f---ing math skills.

The researchers' suggestion of .8g/kg is significantly more than 60 grams of protein for many of the folks here and for anyone newly post-op. There are people further out who are under 165 pounds and might need to weigh their options, but this article isn't at any risk of scaremongering immediate post-op patients.

My household will be handing out candy from one plastic pumpkin and little toys and temporary tattoos from another, so that kids with allergies still get something. I figure 1) the children didn't have weight loss surgery, and 2) I'm not willing to give up on my favorite holiday or let those kids down just because I did. My partner will take any leftover candy to work. He might also be the one in charge of the pumpkin with the candy, although, honestly, I can say no to mini Snickers for an hour or two. (Or much longer, given how badly peanuts and that much sugar would likely settle for me right now.) It's fine.

Different temperatures make a big difference, and it's worth playing around to see what goes down the easiest. I'm three weeks out and still have a LOT of trouble with room temperature drinks. I do great with hot tea, though. And popsicles. And Jello never hurt me, which seems so strange, since it's thick. Maybe worth a try for you, too?

Unjury also sells a chicken noodle soup flavored protein powder. Sometimes I have that when I'm low on protein but can't take the sweetness any longer.

I don't actually know how long I'm supposed to take mine, but I have one that I take twice a day, with no side effects that I've noticed.

Riding a bike again. (I've done it at nearly my current weight, but it's hard. Also, the bike store employees look disbelieving. Also, above about 250 pounds your options for bikes really taper down to nothing. Below 220, even a folding bike is fine.) Going kayaking. Loooooooooooooooong walks. And hikes.

How do you cook without algebra? Especially given the reduced portions we cook for!

Is there a way--or, if there isn't a way, would the site admins consider please maybe implementing a way--to set it so that a user can change a setting on an individual thread and never ever see it again? I don't mean "notifications off." I mean, even if people keep posting to it, it doesn't show up in the list of threads in the forum where it was posted or, ideally, in the trending boxes, either. I guess if someone tags a user inside a thread they've hidden, the user should probably get a notification(?), but if so, they should have the option to re-hide the thread if they want to. There have been a few thread titles that I've found annoying or really gross, that I wish I could have hidden from myself, but I couldn't figure out how. I just had to keep hoping people would stop posting to them. Eventually, for most of them, that's happened, but some of those threads Just. Won't. DIE. Please give me a way to make those threads seem dead to me, even if everyone else is enjoying them?

Ed referred to me as "she." I was just clarifying.

I dragged some friends out on a walk with me today. Then we went to a coffee shop. (I know this doesn't solve the "bars aren't fun" problem, which I'll get to in a moment, but it is a suggestion about how to get in some socializing on your own terms.) I haven't been to a restaurant or a party-party, yet; there's been food at a couple of places I've gone, but it hasn't really been hard to avoid, yet. I'm hoping maybe I can hold off on any event that's too food-heavy until, if there's something I really want to eat, I can have a bite of it without endangering my healing stomach. (I am not going to be one of those hardcore diet deprivation folks you see on here. Not judging them--if anything, I'm impressed by their fortitude--but just being realistic about myself. "I can have exactly one bite of the very tasty thing, and I will enjoy the crap out of that bite" is just a better way for me, personally, to live my life.) Also, raw veggies are the one really healthy thing you can generally rely on finding at parties, and I know those are a ways off for us, yet. Failing the "delay" plan, though, I would probably be inclined to bring something I can have, that others might also like. BananaTummy suggests that her Mandarin Greek Yogurt is a hit at parties: http://www.bananatummy.com/2011/04/greek-yogurt-mandarin-yogurt-sweet/ And I can imagine that this custard would also be a hit (when I used part Splenda, part xylitol, nobody could tell it wasn't sugar): https://www.bariatriceating.com/2015/04/egg-custard-perfect-bariatric-food/ Hummus, which I am absolutely enough of a barbarian to put on my plate and eat with a spoon

I've read about a number of people bruising more easily (even with solid labs). Some people have dental problems, too. I'm still in my first month post-op, so I don't know. I got the surgery to combat autoimmune arthritis--WLS clears it up for up to 50% of people who get it--but it's too soon to know if it'll do that for me. Apparently arthritis isn't like diabetes, which sometimes clears up immediately post-op; studies seem to run for six months to a couple of years, on my particular type of arthritis. So I am trying to wait patiently, to see if I'm one of the lucky ones.

Seconding both of these sentiments! I can tell a few minutes after I've eaten too much because I feel a little green about the gills, and I make a note to eat about 1/4 ounce less the next time. I just don't have a "full" signal that I can decipher, as yet. I haven't been sick, yet, but have definitely spent some time feeling nauseated. I'm also having a lot of trouble getting to 64 ounces of liquids with three half-hour meals and the rest of my life happening as well. I was just telling some friends today: I spent all this time building up good habits about carrying a water bottle everywhere and drinking a lot, pre-op; only now I can't drink room temperature water. I can barely drink room temperature anything, so I find myself making (mostly decaf) hot tea all day. And of course I lose time every time I refill my cup. My solution, such as it is, is to buy myself a bigger tea cup. At least I'll lose time a bit less often?

Thank you, Alex! I really appreciate it! elcee: Fun fact: I'm a developer (and a they, not a she, just as an fyi). In a lot of websites' code bases, it's pretty easy to set a thing so that a user never sees said thing, no matter what. It's like the thing was never there--everything below it just moves up a spot. Just like, as Ed suggested, Facebook does when a Facebook user blocks another user or hides content from a page. Easy breezy, nothing at all like "suit[ing] trending topics to each persons individual requirements" or anything difficult like that (which Facebook actually does try to do, in between making money for advertisers and data harvesters). And it's not really cool for one person to say what another person should have to learn to live with. Something could be triggering to someone's PTSD or to their eating disorder, or it could be appropriate but really disgusting--there are lots of legitimate reasons for someone to want to hide content from themselves without having to report it as inappropriate, and I'm grateful that Alex is willing to work with his team to see if it's doable within this code base.