wishful.shrinking

Hey y’all! I’m having my bypass on Oct 30th, so I might join both the Oct and Nov bypass groups if that’s cool with you guys 😂 I’m right on the cusp!

So I kinda just realized that this is for sleevers, but I’m RNY bypass on the 30th 😂 I haven’t seen an Oct 2018 bypass group..... so is it cool if I still hang here? Haha

I just got my date for the 30th today!! 😳😳😳 I feel like it’s not enough time. I’ve been so focused on meeting all the criteria and going to allll the appointments that now that it has an actual date, I am panicking lol.

Some people collect magnets or shot glasses....... I collect rescue pitbulls!!☺️ This is Bodhi, Jayce, Piper, and Tyson!

On 07/18/2018 at 05:57, anassathalassa said:

Wow. Just wow. I would almost be considering another surgeon! I know weight training has helped me considerably with my loose skin (not that I don’t have my fair share sadly, but has really made an impact on how everything sits on my bones). There are so many benefits of weight training! I can’t believe your surgeon said that to you.

Me neither!! I’ve done my research and it made him sound so ignorant. I know he’s a great surgeon... but I don’t think I would hire him as a personal trainer lol

On 07/18/2018 at 07:15, xoxococojay said:

Honestly just ignore him, like who really cares what he thinks anyway.



I despise cardio. The only cardio i will ever do is boxing. I lift heavy weights 5x per week and i love how i look. I’m still very hour glass and feminine but i’m not “bulky” or anything like that. I’m toned. And i prefer it that way. A lot of times when people do cardio only they get smaller but they still look flabby and that’s just not a goal of mine. So keep doing what works for you and you’ll be fine.



How tall are you btw? Your stats are similar to mine.

I’m 5’1! Currently 219, highest/starting weight was 226! Shooting for a September surgery date (:

Man, I just wanted some info on Keto and I feel like I’m reading an old school MySpace argument lol. Does anyone else have any good resources to find info on it? I just watched The Magic Pill on Netflix, and of course took it with a grain of salt, because I’m not sure who the documentary was funded by, but it definitely piqued my interest.

On 07/17/2018 at 13:36, J San said:

Don't be offended. It was a stupid comment and is only his opinion. Just that topic if it comes up again. He should know better than to try to force his opinion on anyone but we're human and it's known that us men sometimes say stupid Sh!t without thinking. Go for the results you want and make you feel comfortable.

True!! I don’t think I’ll be seeing him very often anyway, so I’m just doing my best to brush it off and stay focused on my own goals! Thanks for the support!!

On 07/17/2018 at 13:34, MIZ60 said:

This right here makes me think of the old saying "Opinions are like a$$holes because everyone has one". He is clearly misinformed and his opinion is based on incorrect thinking and understanding of basic physiology. I know you know this...

Surgeons as a group tend to be arrogant and many have minimal interpersonal skills. They know how to cut and sew and that is pretty much it. I have known many great pediatric ones over the years but they are a different breed.

If he is a good surgeon with a good reputation just ignore his fitness advice and carry on. Or, clock him with one of your huge, ripped muscles and teach him a lesson in girl power

I work in the healthcare field and can confirm that most of them are great at what they do, but socially awkward and usually pretty full of themselves. I’ll just keep telling myself that that’s the case with this one as well!

On 07/17/2018 at 12:37, redhead_che said:

I think a lot of good things have been said already, but I'll just throw in that even though I liked my surgeon a lot, I saw him one office visit pre op, 10 minutes before surgery, and never again. All my post ops have been his assistant. Maybe that'll be the case with your program? *crosses fingers*

Yes!! That’s what I’m thinking as well. My fingers are crossed also because he was a turd. Amazing surgeon, but kind of a jerk

On 07/17/2018 at 10:35, Tealael said:

The taxonomy of this Man
Kingdom: Animalia
Phylum: Chordata
Class: None

talk to him about your surgery, a NUT about your diet, a trainer about the rest of your muscles.

VSG2017 HW 249 SW 238 CW 169

I’m cracking up at this 😂😂 no class whatsoever

On 07/17/2018 at 10:21, AshAsh1 said:

This would have def offended me, but I'm going to take a different approach on it. I would say that his opinion has little to do with your choices or success after surgery. You need him to do the surgery, without complications, period. After that, his job is to monitor your Vitamin levels and record your weight loss. Just because he's a bariatric surgeon, doesn't mean he's a fitness expert. I wouldn't take advice from a surgeon on fitness, just because he's a doctor. So if you want to "bulk" up, then go for it! But I wouldn't let it discourage you from using him. If his known skills are reputable, and you've established with him... I'd say continue forward.

Thanks, girl!! Yes, this is exactly what my Aunt (who had the same surgery with him in Dec) said. He’s probably the LEAST important person in her post-op care, aside from monitoring her Vitamins.

On 07/17/2018 at 07:36, anaxila said:

Gross gross gross. Yes, you should be offended. But don’t let it derail you. You will be unconscious for the most important part of your relationship with this troll. If you’re getting good service from the rest of his team, stay the course.

So true!! All I need him for is to open me up and then close me again haha everyone else has been so great

On 07/17/2018 at 07:26, thatch said:

Your surgeon is a tool. Jeez, what a sexist load of crap. I love lifting weights, and I will return to it with my doc's ok (just 6 days out from sleeve). Missouri-Lee's Summit's answer is spot-on. Don't let this fossil of a surgeon get you down!

Thank you!! Since when is wanting to be strong and healthy something to laugh at?! Ugh MEN

On 07/17/2018 at 07:26, Matt Z said:

@Wishful.shrinking seems like your surgeon is a bit of a sexist a$$. Is he really the best in the area? If so, maybe it's best just to ignore him or placate him until after your surgery. Telling anyone that they shouldn't do something, based on outmoded social "norms" has no place in medicine... sadly these small brained dinosaurs still exist in the wild. By all means bulk up. Larger muscle burns more fat than smaller muscle... *NO ONE* has the right to tell you what to look like. That's 100% your call.



I would be offended if I were in your shoes. But you need to pick and chose the battles, do you fight him on your personal goals... and have to settle for a potentially less skilled doctor? Or do you just brush it off as the ramblings of moron that just happens to be the best body mechanic in your area? That's also your call.



Either way, good luck and happy body building!

Ugh!! I wish he wasn’t the best in the area, but he’s honestly probably the best in New York! It’s the only center in the state that has both a Bariatric and metabolic program combined. I’m just trying to brush it off. He’s operating on my stomach, not my muscles, so I’ll give him the pass this time. It was irritating to say the least, especially because he has no idea that I was an elite gymnast for 10 years 😂 like I know what I’m doing, bro. Anyway, I appreciate the support! It makes me feel better that I wasn’t just being a SENSITIVE, EMOTIONAL FEMALE... you know how we are 🤣

On 07/17/2018 at 04:49, Frustr8 said:

A Blue-Ribbon Response @ Missour- Lee's Summit. If I only could ---I would award you 2 trophies for your answer👍❤😝❤

I agree!! She nailed it

On 07/17/2018 at 01:27, Missouri-Lee's Summit said:

I do not care for my surgeon as a person, but as a surgeon I know he's well-qualified. Obviously, it would be great to have a surgeon that didn't talk and behave like an ass, but if you're willing to overlook his bedside shortcomings in exchange for a competent surgeon, then feel confident that you made a good decision.

Do I find your surgeon's comments inappropriate and sexist? Absolutely. Would I have wished that I had the perfect comeback when he made his disparaging remarks about women who want to build healthy muscle? Absolutely. My guess is that you're mainly peeved because he got away with saying what he said, and you weren't able (out of sheer disbelief perhaps) to challenge his asshattery. Instead of being able to express yourself fully with him, your only outlet (and a less satisfying outlet) is to vent here.

I doubt if I'm alone as a woman in feeling hesitant to speak up for myself. As a survivor of childhood sexual abuse, I often "flew away". It took years of therapy before I could rid myself of that shame.

In some ways, I was conditioned, as are many women, to be shrinking violets. There's also the issue of status involved in your case. We've been taught to respect certain professionals, doctors included. So, here you are confronted by a male doctor who completely caught you off-guard by basically equating unattractiveness with muscles. Heck, we're already fat and feeling bad about that, now to be told that to build muscle is unfeminine. Wow. Imagine paying an insurance co-pay to hear all this crap.

It's important for you to be a strong self-advocate. You are taking a life-changing step with weight-loss surgery, so why stop there? For your own self-respect, I'd politely but firmly revisit this conversation by letting him know that you were offended by his views on women who lift weights and press him about whether there is a medical reason for you to not lift weights or if this was just his subjective view.

If you read my profile statement, you'll discover that I had a negative hospital experience with my doctor. Yes, I vented like crazy here and elsewhere, but as soon as I saw my surgeon at my first follow-up appointment walking down the hall (I was actually supposed to see a nurse practitioner for this visit), I approached him with confidence, touched his arm, and said, "Dr. S---, I am not very happy with you. In fact, I'm very disappointed." He was so taken off-guard by my bluntness that he escorted me into the exam room and spent 45 minutes worth of damage control on me. You can imagine the bewilderment of the nurse when she walked in and he was with me. She probably thought she was the one in trouble. The point is, I took back some of the dignity that I felt had been taken from me previously.

Yes, it was "just" a statement about muscles, but where do you draw the line? You wouldn't be here venting if it didn't bother the becheezits out of you.

Believe me, you'll feel better about yourself for at least trying to stand up for yourself. It might not go over well, maybe you feel clumsy getting out your words, but it's better than saying nothing. Practice self-advocacy until it becomes second nature. The older I get, the easier it's becoming. When you don't speak up for yourself, you are essentially giving the other person the power and permission to put you down.

Well I’ll be damned.... you just nailed everything I was feeling in a much more eloquent way than I could’ve summed it up. Yes. Yes to all of it. I’m so mad that I didn’t stick up for myself. I’ve always thought of myself as a “tell it like it is” kind of gal, but for some reason, this whole process so far has had me doubting my ability to advocate for myself. I had a weird exchange with a cardiologist as well and was kicking myself for not saying something then too!! What’s happening to me?! Mind you- I WORK in healthcare! I care for patients and help them advocate for themselves every day! I just tried to tell myself that maybe he was having a shitty day.... but at the same time I don’t know that a bad day equates to being misogynistic and rude 🙄 Ugh. My next appointment is with his PA, so I’m going to just try and forget about it. Maybe this time next year, I’ll challenge him to an arm wrestling competition and see how he feels when a GIRL beats him 🤣

I was so discouraged after a conversation with my surgeon this morning and I need to vent for a minute. I am still pre-op, just waiting on my scope that’s scheduled in August, and then will be proceeding with RNY gastric bypass in early September (fingers crossed). I’ve been meeting with nutrition monthly and have been doing really well and am only 3lbs off from meeting my pre-surgery goal of 215lbs. Today was the first time I actually met with my surgeon and all was well until he asked what my biggest goals were after surgery, to which I replied that I wanted to be healthy and strong! He. Laughed. At. Me. 😡 He informed me that he never recommends for women “bulk” and that the fact that I lift weights now (higher weight, lower reps) was all wrong and that I’m sabotaging my weight loss by building too much muscle. He insisted that I need to just “tone” muscle and really just focus on cardio 🙄 and reiterated that “no woman wants huge, ripped, muscles anyway”. I couldn’t even make this up, I left with such a bad taste in my mouth. Do I just avoid these conversations with him in the future? Or just do what he says? He’s the best surgeon in the area and obviously is much more educated than I am, but it’s really hard to take someone’s advice after they chuckle at your life goals.

Hi! I’m a Patient Care Tech in an ER, and I’ve found the general consensus is to take the most time off as possible. It sucks working in a healthcare setting and having to take such a long amount of time off, but there isn’t really such a thing as “light duty” when you’re saving lives! Most surgeons also have lifting restrictions (like 10lbs until you’re six weeks out!) so unless you’re a NICU nurse, that might not be possible 😉 I’m still pre-op myself, and I’m not looking forward to putting the added stress on my coworkers (and my poor paycheck- holy cow) but you have to put yourself first!

I’m probably going to check with my surgeon first and see what he thinks! I’m not really good at advocating for myself on the spot so I was like “yeah sure no problem” but when I left I was kicking myself for not speaking up and asking more questions!

It probably will push back the date, yes! If it wasn’t going to I probably wouldn’t care haha. I’m just confused as to why he’s being overly careful, especially because he said I was perfectly healthy and my EKG was totally normal lol. The other people I know that have gone through the same surgeon (different cardiologist though) have only had to go through the initial EKG appointment for their clearance. My blood work is all within normal limits as well, no high cholesterol, no high blood pressure, nothing haha. It doesn’t help that I have a background in the healthcare field, so I’m skeptical when someone orders tests that seem unnecessary

Hey all, just wanted to see what different doctors you had to see before you were cleared for gastric bypass! So far, I’ve met with nutrition, my primary care doctor, and had lab work done, and have appointments with my surgeon, behavioral health, pulmonary (sleep study), and an endoscopy appointment scheduled as well! PHEW. Seems like so much when I type it all out 😂 I had my cardiology appt as well today, and I though a 12-lead EKG would be the extent of it 🙄 I have no family history of cardiac issues, and I’m a totally healthy (except being overweight obviously!) 26 year old. This cardiologist said he would not clear me for surgery until I had an echocardiogram and a stress test🤦🏼‍♀️ Which of course is booked out until September! What the heck? Is this normal? Did all of y’all need the extensive testing as well? I’m going to ask my surgeon his opinion when I meet with him next week, but it seems a little overkill to me. I’m almost tempted to make an appointment with a different cardiologist! I get being thorough, and you can never be too cautious, but I feel like this is just going to be another long waiting period for something that isn’t a necessity.

On 06/29/2018 at 07:45, insta_adventurer said:

Haha wow! Small world indeed! I am going through Samaritan as well, but with Dr. Sanders.

How far along are you in the process? I’m having surgery on the 17th and have completed all my requirements.

How exciting!! I still have a long way to go, just started the process at the beginning of June. All of my appointments are scheduled for next week, except for endoscopy and the sleep study, which are booked out until September 🙄🙄🙄 I’m hoping something opens up before then because I’m super impatient lol

On 06/28/2018 at 23:09, insta_adventurer said:

Oh my! Where in NY are you? I live upstate near Troy.

You’re KIDDING ME 😂 I’m from Clifton Park! I’m going through Samaritan Bariatric and Metabolic with Dr. McDonald! What a freaking small world!!