Missouri-Lee's Summit

"Things work out best for those who make the best of how things work out." (John Wooden)
"Whenever you see a successful person, you only see the public glories, never the private sacrifices to reach them." (Vaibhav Shah)
"Try not to become a person of success, but rather try to become a person of value." (Albert Einstein)
"It is not the strongest of the species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change." (Charles Darwin)
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." (Eleanor Roosevelt)
"If you're going through hell, keep going." (Winston Churchill)

No problem! That's about all I can eat anyway now.

No problem! That's about all I can eat anyway now.

@TaylorMade4One I'm not sure I feel the same way about Burger King's onion rings --or any onion rings for that matter-- but your post was hilarious from start to finish. I almost felt like I was riding shotgun with you while you were in that parking lot eating away sauceless and guilt-free.

@RickM. If grades were being assigned to comments, your comment would receive an A-.
I was going to give you an A, but I didn't want to risk you getting a transfer addiction involving perfect grades.

I tried EVERYTHING before finally settling on opioids. My daughter is a PharmD and two of my three sons are medical doctors. Anyone who tries to treat me as an attention-seeking, drug-seeking hypochondriac... WATCH OUT! My pain is my pain. 360mg morphine daily with oxycodone 10mg for breakthru. The CDC has made it hell for many chronic pain patients because of the opioid-crisis hysteria.
https://twitter.com/ThomasKlineMD

http://dontpunishpainrally.com

I tried EVERYTHING before finally settling on opioids. My daughter is a PharmD and two of my three sons are medical doctors. Anyone who tries to treat me as an attention-seeking, drug-seeking hypochondriac... WATCH OUT! My pain is my pain. 360mg morphine daily with oxycodone 10mg for breakthru. The CDC has made it hell for many chronic pain patients because of the opioid-crisis hysteria.
https://twitter.com/ThomasKlineMD

http://dontpunishpainrally.com

People with fibromyalgia have widespread inflammation in their brains, new research reveals.
"Finding an objective neurochemical change in the brains of people who are used to being told that their problems are imaginary is pretty important," explained senior study author Marco Loggia. He is associate director of the Center for Integrative Pain Neuroimaging at Harvard Medical School.
https://consumer.healthday.com/diseases-and-conditions-information-37/fibromyalgia-news-310/brain-scans-suggest-pain-of-fibromyalgia-isn-t-imaginary-738325.html
Even though this topic is not weight-loss surgery related, I've known people (mostly women who were also obese) chided about their pain being "all in their head". If being shamed about one's weight isn't enough, many sufferers have had to contend with being mocked about their pain as well. Tragic. It really makes my blood boil.
“Few things a doctor does are more important than relieving pain. . . pain is soul destroying. No patient should have to endure intense pain unnecessarily. The quality of mercy is essential to the practice of medicine; here, of all places, it should not be strained.”
― Marcia Angell
“The erosion of an effective patient-physician relationship has no place when dealing with chronic pain. Worst of all, dismissing the patient's pain is as devastating as crushing a patient's hope.”
― Melissa Cady
“The stigma of chronic pain is one of the most difficult aspects of living with chronic pain. If you have chronic pain, people can sometimes judge you for it. Specifically, they can sometimes disapprovingly judge you for how you are coping with it. If you rest or nap because of the pain, they think you rest or nap too much. If they catch you crying, they become impatient and think you cry too much. If you don’t work because of the pain, you face scrutiny over why you don’t. If you go to your healthcare provider, they ask, “Are you going to the doctor again?” Maybe, they think that you take too many medications. In any of these ways, they disapprove of how you are coping with pain. These disapproving judgments are the stigma of living with chronic pain.”
― Murray J. McAlister
“I will be living with chronic pain for the rest of my life. I don’t have the mobility, energy or life options I used to have. I work hard to manage the pain, and I want the medical system to be a respectful and effective partner, not a jailer. The opioid crisis is not my doing.”
― Sonya Huber
“The addiction crisis is terrifying, and many people don’t comprehend appropriate opioid use. When I first started taking pain medication, I remember a family member saying, “Dianne, you’re going to become an addict!”

We need to help people understand that taking pain medicine to maximize one’s ability to be productive and to sustain enriching relationships is very different than the disease of addiction, which limits one’s ability to contribute to society and maintain healthy habits.”
― Dianne Bourque
“We have a genuine and devastating epidemic of opiate abuse in this country, and it is of critical importance that this problem be addressed. But we must do so in a way that doesn’t cut off an effective (and often the only) treatment for the chronically ill, many of whom are able to function in this world at all only because of the small respite that responsible opiate use provides.”
― Michael Bihovsky
“Since my symptoms began 13 years ago, I’ve tried every form of pain management I could access — NSAIDS, nonopioid analgesics, neurologic medications, acupuncture, laser therapy, physical therapy, prolotherapy, massage, and trigger-point injections. Most of these have been unhelpful; others provide temporary relief, often at great expense. At the end of the day, when my body is fully depleted of its resources and in the most pain, a single dose of Percocet is the only tool that silences the pain enough for me to fall asleep.

I honestly don’t know what I’d do if Percocet became unavailable to me, and the very thought scares me. I’ve been taking it for five years. To avoid any chance of addiction, I only take it at night and have stayed on a consistently low dose.”
― Michael Bihovsky
“My doctors, who are not cavalier with prescriptions, give me this medication because I have earned their trust. And yet, with mounting government and public pressure, my doctors’ hands are becoming increasingly tied. They apologetically explain to me why they are required to make the medication even harder for me to get, against their own medical judgment. If the day ever comes when they aren’t allowed to prescribe Percocet to me at all, it may well be the end of the minimal quality of life I fight so hard to achieve.”
― Michael Bihovsky
“In the debate over opioid addiction, there’s one group we aren’t hearing from: chronic pain patients, many of whom need to use the drugs on a long-term basis.”
― S. E. Smith
“Despite what appears to be a low risk of addiction in naïve, chronic pain patients, it is reasonable to ask how much harm is actually done to patients with chronic pain by withholding opiate analgesics.”
― Howard L. Fields
“Anyone who takes opioids on a regular basis will become dependent upon them, meaning they will have to taper off gradually to avoid withdrawal symptoms. But very few chronic pain patients exhibit the compulsive drug-seeking behaviors of someone who is addicted.”
― Karen Lee Richards
“Chronic pain patients like me are not the cause of the opioid crisis; only 22% of those who misuse opioids are prescribed them by a doctor, and only 13% of ER visits for opiate overdoses were chronic pain patients. Most chronic pain patients are rule-followers who just want to function.”
― Sonya Huber
“Personalized medicine is an art that advocates for the patient, not the pocket or convenience of the medical system.”
― Melissa Cady
“Government agencies are trying to get doctors to cut back on prescribing opioids. I understand that they need to do something about the epidemic of overdoses. However, labeling everyone as addicts, including those who responsibly take opioids for chronic pain, is not the answer. If the proposed changes take effect, they would force physicians to neglect their patients. Moreover, legitimate pain patients, like myself, would be left in agony on a daily basis.”
― Alison Moore
“There are a lot of victims when it comes to addiction. I know there's an overdose epidemic. We see those faces. But then I see these other faces - the ones who commit suicide because they can't handle the pain. Those faces mean just as much to me.”
― Donna Marsh
“The stigma of chronic pain is one of the most difficult aspects of living with chronic pain. If you have chronic pain, people can sometimes judge you for it.”
― Murray J. McAlister

People with fibromyalgia have widespread inflammation in their brains, new research reveals.
"Finding an objective neurochemical change in the brains of people who are used to being told that their problems are imaginary is pretty important," explained senior study author Marco Loggia. He is associate director of the Center for Integrative Pain Neuroimaging at Harvard Medical School.
https://consumer.healthday.com/diseases-and-conditions-information-37/fibromyalgia-news-310/brain-scans-suggest-pain-of-fibromyalgia-isn-t-imaginary-738325.html
Even though this topic is not weight-loss surgery related, I've known people (mostly women who were also obese) chided about their pain being "all in their head". If being shamed about one's weight isn't enough, many sufferers have had to contend with being mocked about their pain as well. Tragic. It really makes my blood boil.
“Few things a doctor does are more important than relieving pain. . . pain is soul destroying. No patient should have to endure intense pain unnecessarily. The quality of mercy is essential to the practice of medicine; here, of all places, it should not be strained.”
― Marcia Angell
“The erosion of an effective patient-physician relationship has no place when dealing with chronic pain. Worst of all, dismissing the patient's pain is as devastating as crushing a patient's hope.”
― Melissa Cady
“The stigma of chronic pain is one of the most difficult aspects of living with chronic pain. If you have chronic pain, people can sometimes judge you for it. Specifically, they can sometimes disapprovingly judge you for how you are coping with it. If you rest or nap because of the pain, they think you rest or nap too much. If they catch you crying, they become impatient and think you cry too much. If you don’t work because of the pain, you face scrutiny over why you don’t. If you go to your healthcare provider, they ask, “Are you going to the doctor again?” Maybe, they think that you take too many medications. In any of these ways, they disapprove of how you are coping with pain. These disapproving judgments are the stigma of living with chronic pain.”
― Murray J. McAlister
“I will be living with chronic pain for the rest of my life. I don’t have the mobility, energy or life options I used to have. I work hard to manage the pain, and I want the medical system to be a respectful and effective partner, not a jailer. The opioid crisis is not my doing.”
― Sonya Huber
“The addiction crisis is terrifying, and many people don’t comprehend appropriate opioid use. When I first started taking pain medication, I remember a family member saying, “Dianne, you’re going to become an addict!”

We need to help people understand that taking pain medicine to maximize one’s ability to be productive and to sustain enriching relationships is very different than the disease of addiction, which limits one’s ability to contribute to society and maintain healthy habits.”
― Dianne Bourque
“We have a genuine and devastating epidemic of opiate abuse in this country, and it is of critical importance that this problem be addressed. But we must do so in a way that doesn’t cut off an effective (and often the only) treatment for the chronically ill, many of whom are able to function in this world at all only because of the small respite that responsible opiate use provides.”
― Michael Bihovsky
“Since my symptoms began 13 years ago, I’ve tried every form of pain management I could access — NSAIDS, nonopioid analgesics, neurologic medications, acupuncture, laser therapy, physical therapy, prolotherapy, massage, and trigger-point injections. Most of these have been unhelpful; others provide temporary relief, often at great expense. At the end of the day, when my body is fully depleted of its resources and in the most pain, a single dose of Percocet is the only tool that silences the pain enough for me to fall asleep.

I honestly don’t know what I’d do if Percocet became unavailable to me, and the very thought scares me. I’ve been taking it for five years. To avoid any chance of addiction, I only take it at night and have stayed on a consistently low dose.”
― Michael Bihovsky
“My doctors, who are not cavalier with prescriptions, give me this medication because I have earned their trust. And yet, with mounting government and public pressure, my doctors’ hands are becoming increasingly tied. They apologetically explain to me why they are required to make the medication even harder for me to get, against their own medical judgment. If the day ever comes when they aren’t allowed to prescribe Percocet to me at all, it may well be the end of the minimal quality of life I fight so hard to achieve.”
― Michael Bihovsky
“In the debate over opioid addiction, there’s one group we aren’t hearing from: chronic pain patients, many of whom need to use the drugs on a long-term basis.”
― S. E. Smith
“Despite what appears to be a low risk of addiction in naïve, chronic pain patients, it is reasonable to ask how much harm is actually done to patients with chronic pain by withholding opiate analgesics.”
― Howard L. Fields
“Anyone who takes opioids on a regular basis will become dependent upon them, meaning they will have to taper off gradually to avoid withdrawal symptoms. But very few chronic pain patients exhibit the compulsive drug-seeking behaviors of someone who is addicted.”
― Karen Lee Richards
“Chronic pain patients like me are not the cause of the opioid crisis; only 22% of those who misuse opioids are prescribed them by a doctor, and only 13% of ER visits for opiate overdoses were chronic pain patients. Most chronic pain patients are rule-followers who just want to function.”
― Sonya Huber
“Personalized medicine is an art that advocates for the patient, not the pocket or convenience of the medical system.”
― Melissa Cady
“Government agencies are trying to get doctors to cut back on prescribing opioids. I understand that they need to do something about the epidemic of overdoses. However, labeling everyone as addicts, including those who responsibly take opioids for chronic pain, is not the answer. If the proposed changes take effect, they would force physicians to neglect their patients. Moreover, legitimate pain patients, like myself, would be left in agony on a daily basis.”
― Alison Moore
“There are a lot of victims when it comes to addiction. I know there's an overdose epidemic. We see those faces. But then I see these other faces - the ones who commit suicide because they can't handle the pain. Those faces mean just as much to me.”
― Donna Marsh
“The stigma of chronic pain is one of the most difficult aspects of living with chronic pain. If you have chronic pain, people can sometimes judge you for it.”
― Murray J. McAlister

The most important thing that will help you before and after surgery is this site. Read and read often. And ask questions... you're doing a good job of that already.
Oh, and chapstick... post-operatively. I like coconut and also watermelon.

Enjoy your weirdness with all its weird specificity. I can think of a thousand things worse than pickled green Beans with a hint of ginger and olive oil.
I was overdosing on pan-fried (unbreaded) okra for a while. I still crave it. I've since added thin strips of rib-eye steak and udon noodles to the mix. It's not how much of it I eat (which is three bites tops before I'm stuffed), but the fact that I've actually found something for which I have an appetite. food, in general, has still taken a backseat in my life. I'm embarrassed to admit that I've turned into one of those annoying people who sometimes says, "I think I forgot to eat today."
You'll move on to the next big thing in the weird foods department soon enough. Take weird pleasure in discovering your latest craving. Shrimp with Peanut Butter? Arugula pancakes? Dried crickets?
As long as you're taking your supplements and following the other recommendations the best you can, I'd say you're on the right track. Hey, you've almost lost 100 pounds!

Other than needing to talk supplements, what other side effects are you concerned about with a bypass? Once you know which supplements to take (ex. calcium citrate, B12, a good Multivitamin with micronutrients, iron), all you have to do is take them. I'm actually healthier now and my bypass (my Vitamin D is no longer in the single digits).
I have NO regrets regarding my bypass. And GERD scares me more than anything. Having a sleeve, to me, is like Russian roulette. Will I develop GERD or won't I? I also hated the thought that a part of my anatomy would be permanently removed.

Wow, Matt. You look dangerously handsome. And I like your long hair, too.
Do men lose their hair the same way some women do after a bypass? (Not a question that pertains to your appearance, btw.)

The most important thing that will help you before and after surgery is this site. Read and read often. And ask questions... you're doing a good job of that already.
Oh, and chapstick... post-operatively. I like coconut and also watermelon.

Other than needing to talk supplements, what other side effects are you concerned about with a bypass? Once you know which supplements to take (ex. calcium citrate, B12, a good Multivitamin with micronutrients, iron), all you have to do is take them. I'm actually healthier now and my bypass (my Vitamin D is no longer in the single digits).
I have NO regrets regarding my bypass. And GERD scares me more than anything. Having a sleeve, to me, is like Russian roulette. Will I develop GERD or won't I? I also hated the thought that a part of my anatomy would be permanently removed.

Wow, Matt. You look dangerously handsome. And I like your long hair, too.
Do men lose their hair the same way some women do after a bypass? (Not a question that pertains to your appearance, btw.)

The most important thing that will help you before and after surgery is this site. Read and read often. And ask questions... you're doing a good job of that already.
Oh, and chapstick... post-operatively. I like coconut and also watermelon.

The most important thing that will help you before and after surgery is this site. Read and read often. And ask questions... you're doing a good job of that already.
Oh, and chapstick... post-operatively. I like coconut and also watermelon.

You said you weren’t happy that your wife went forward with this from the beginning. Is it possible that you are unconsciously looking for physical changes in your wife to support that feeling? Maybe even a “I-told-you-so” feeling because you’re not happy with her appearance now or maybe because she proceeded with her surgery despite your feelings?
I’ve come to accept what she has done… I don’t think you’ve accepted it at all. Why were you opposed to her decision to have this done in the first place? Is there something deep inside of you that resents her for having this surgery even though you were opposed to it? (I don’t know you, but some men have a problem with women making their own decisions, including decisions about their own bodies.)
She used to be… she is now… she is starting to look… She also looks like…. These sound like mourning words. You’re in mourning for the body your wife used to have.
I’m starting to worry… Starting? No, you're in full-blown worry mode, except it’s not really worry. I still think it’s mourning for what was.
I’m afraid I’ve lost my wife… Afraid? No, in your mind you’ve lost her. But have you lost her? Really? Your wife is happy. And the doctor’s office doesn’t seem worried.
His office pretty much ignores my concerns… Are you sure that they’re just disagreeing with you and not ignoring you?
This surgery killed my aunt…. WLS is not a murderer with a sawed-off shotgun. Your aunt had a rare and unfortunate complication. I hope you didn’t bring up your aunt's complication as one of the reasons for not wanting your wife to have her surgery. Or did you?
If I come across as terse, it’s only because men tend to understand things better when those things are presented bluntly or in black and white.
Lastly, it’s only been 10 months. Your wife's body is still trying to find a happy balance.
Has your sex life changed? Is that something you’re also unhappy about? (My husband has always enjoyed my big, soft body.)
Please do not interpret anything I’ve said above as lecturing or patronizing because that is not my intent. This is just my take on things from a woman's point of view. Not every woman's point of view. Just mine. We're not all the same, you know.
You sound like a loving and caring husband. No one here wants you to be unhappy, including me. Your wife, I’m sure, doesn’t want you to be unhappy. But guess what? It’s okay to be unhappy sometimes, except you need to figure out if your unhappiness and fears about your wife’s new body are rational or irrational. If they are irrational fears, and you still can’t come to terms with it all, maybe a therapist might help. Maybe joint therapy. And there is, of course, absolutely no shame in that. None.

@TaylorMade4One I'm not sure I feel the same way about Burger King's onion rings --or any onion rings for that matter-- but your post was hilarious from start to finish. I almost felt like I was riding shotgun with you while you were in that parking lot eating away sauceless and guilt-free.

I've returned to drinking Diet Dr. Pepper. Every. Single. Day. No bloat. No pain. Nothing weird-feeling at all. It has to be supercold with ice, though. I never drink pop straight from the can. I always drink it with ice. (I didn't have ANY pop during my pre-op diet or for almost three weeks post-op.) This one concession makes me feel whole again. I can give up just about everything else, except for my daily pop habit.* *
I've been craving salt. I mushed up a few Saltine crackers and some potato chips until they were pulp in my mouth.
I bought a small cheeseburger at McDonald's. I chewed up each bite to a mushy consistency, then I spit it out. Except for the last bite. That one I swallowed.
* *Phosphoric acid is a major component in most sodas. Phosphorus itself is an important bone mineral. But if you're getting a disproportionate amount of phosphorus compared to the amount of calcium you're getting, that could lead to bone loss.
Another possible culprit is caffeine, which experts have long known can interfere with Calcium absorption. In one study, both caffeinated and non-caffeinated colas were associated with lower bone density. But the caffeinated drinks appeared to do more damage.
This study isn't the last word on the subject. Some experts point out that the amount of phosphoric acid in soda is minimal compared to that found in chicken or cheese. And no one's telling women to stop eating chicken.
Smart Steps for Soda Lovers
Whether the apparent soda and osteoporosis link is due to effects of the soda itself or simply because soda drinkers get less of other, healthier beverages, it's clear that you need to be extra-vigilant about your bone health if you're a soda fiend.
"Soda drinkers need to pay extra attention to getting calcium from other sources."
A few steps you can take to boost your bone health:
Can't give soda up entirely? Cut out one or two cans a day (depending on how much you drink). Better still, for every soda you skip, reach for a glass of milk or fortified orange juice instead. Not only will you be cutting back on any harmful effect from the soda itself, you'll be adding calcium. (If you're a diet soda drinker worried about calories, here's a plus: fat-free milk has even more calcium than higher-calorie whole milk.) Have a breakfast Cereal fortified with calcium -- and pour milk on top. Add milk instead of water when you prepare things like pancakes, waffles, and cocoa. Add nonfat powdered dry milk to all kinds of recipes -- puddings, Cookies, breads, Soups, gravy, and casseroles. One tablespoon adds 52 mg of calcium. You can add three tablespoons per cup of milk in puddings, cocoa and custard; four tablespoons per cup of hot cereal (before cooking); and 2 tablespoons per cup of flour in cakes, cookies and breads. Take a calcium (calcium citrate for bypass patients) and a vitamin D supplement if you aren't getting enough calcium in your diet. Get plenty of weight-bearing and resistance exercise.

There are all kinds of families. Not everyone is kind or respectful toward other family members. Swanton_Bomb knows her family (we do not), and she has decided what is best for her. In an ideal world, it's true that lying is not "right", but in an ideal world, a family wouldn't unfairly judge or belittle another family member either. I can only imagine Swanton_Bomb's predicament. I hope you have a speedy recovery from your flu!

I've made a new friend on this forum. He currently has a BMI of 63. Apparently, there isn't even a term to classify his size. I found somewhere that Super Morbidly Obese is for a BMI of 50 or so. Anyway, this new friend has a great sense of humor so I know he can appreciate his dilemma of being medically nameless. But I digress...
After meeting with his nutritionist and surgeon recently (since he was still trying to decide sleeve vs bypass) his size pretty much decided for him. I found out why below:
"A BMI of 60 or above is categorized as super morbid obesity. A laparoscopic Roux-en-Y gastric bypass in these patients is technically very difficult due to the size of the abdominal wall, the size of the intra-abdominal fat and the size of the liver. Due to these technical aspects of the procedure, the risk of leak and other complications are increased. I think that a laparoscopic sleeve gastrectomy is a much better procedure in higher risk super morbidly obese patients. It is a technically easier operation than a Roux-en-Y gastric bypass and has a much lower complication rate for this patient population. The sleeve gastrectomy can also be the first stage in a two-stage procedure. Once the patient has lost a significant amount of weight, and if he/she is still morbidly obese, it is safer to then convert the laparoscopic sleeve gastrectomy into a gastric bypass or a duodenal switch. The sleeve gastrectomy started as a procedure for high-risk patients but is now used as a primary procedure for lower BMI patients as well."

There are all kinds of families. Not everyone is kind or respectful toward other family members. Swanton_Bomb knows her family (we do not), and she has decided what is best for her. In an ideal world, it's true that lying is not "right", but in an ideal world, a family wouldn't unfairly judge or belittle another family member either. I can only imagine Swanton_Bomb's predicament. I hope you have a speedy recovery from your flu!

I've made a new friend on this forum. He currently has a BMI of 63. Apparently, there isn't even a term to classify his size. I found somewhere that Super Morbidly Obese is for a BMI of 50 or so. Anyway, this new friend has a great sense of humor so I know he can appreciate his dilemma of being medically nameless. But I digress...
After meeting with his nutritionist and surgeon recently (since he was still trying to decide sleeve vs bypass) his size pretty much decided for him. I found out why below:
"A BMI of 60 or above is categorized as super morbid obesity. A laparoscopic Roux-en-Y gastric bypass in these patients is technically very difficult due to the size of the abdominal wall, the size of the intra-abdominal fat and the size of the liver. Due to these technical aspects of the procedure, the risk of leak and other complications are increased. I think that a laparoscopic sleeve gastrectomy is a much better procedure in higher risk super morbidly obese patients. It is a technically easier operation than a Roux-en-Y gastric bypass and has a much lower complication rate for this patient population. The sleeve gastrectomy can also be the first stage in a two-stage procedure. Once the patient has lost a significant amount of weight, and if he/she is still morbidly obese, it is safer to then convert the laparoscopic sleeve gastrectomy into a gastric bypass or a duodenal switch. The sleeve gastrectomy started as a procedure for high-risk patients but is now used as a primary procedure for lower BMI patients as well."