jultrim18

My problem is that I am still eating too fast ugh

My boyfriend said the same thing during my pre-op diet. I was like, “B*tch I am not binging right now because I’m scared to die during surgery!!!”

I think it's only natural to experience such feelings. We've made a drastic, often irreversible, alternation to our bodies. We're not feeling physically like ourselves. There may be pain or discomfort, vomiting, Constipation, hunger, lack of hunger... and the list goes on. Probably even more involved are the emotional or psychological changes going on inside of us post-surgery. We know things will never really be the same. This can be both thrilling and terrifying. What if we are one of those weird weight-loss surgery outliers who doesn't lose weight for whatever reason?! We almost convince ourselves that after our first stall we are indeed one of those rare few!
We've invested time, money, starved ourselves in preparation for surgery, had labwork, had to convince a nutritionist that we are committed to the nutritional challenges required, had to convince a psychologist that we aren't nuts, and go through 6 months or more of supervised weight loss by our primary doctor. We also read about all the pros and cons of WLS until our eyes practically bled from fatigue and overuse. Arghh!
As for advice, it's pretty much the same advice for most wholesale changes we face. Time. Time heals, but time also moves so s l o w l y.
Posting this topic and asking questions and for advice was a smart move. Just bringing the subject to the front of your consciousness validates it's importance to you. Some may dismiss "buyer's remorse" as an inconsequential little thing. I'd disagree. It's something we've all had to deal with to a varying degree, whether we're able to admit to ourselves or not.
My advice is to keep thinking about upcoming goals... how you'll look in smaller clothing, how you'll feel when you finally weigh less than 200lbs, how it feels to eat half or a fourth of something and feel full. Hey, just creating a list of things to look forward to may help to counter that feeling of buyer's remorse. And, of course, leaving long, rambling comments like this one may help, too. Who knows?!

Hi, friends. I am 12 weeks post-op tomorrow. I am still miserable. I semi-regret this surgery. I miss food so much. I miss gorging myself. I miss the way food made me feel. I hate being scared of food. I hate always thinking of food and worrying about it. I hate this life I am now forced into. Yes, I have lost 45lb since surgery. 55lb since pre-op diet. However, food made me happy. Now I am unhappy. I think I am going to go to a therapist because this feeling is not getting better over time.

I agree that therapy is a good avenue here; we all have different relationships with food and for some of us, it was an emotional coping mechanism. It’s worth checking out. I hope you feel better!

I’m 3 months post op, 54 lbs down, and still think about food. For me, food was emotional. I ate when I was sad, when I was happy, when I was mad, and it was my coping for when I became a young widow. In September we passed his 9th angel day, and I was more emotional than I have been in years! But I realized, it was because I wasn’t using food to mask my emotions! This journey is allowing me to deal with my whys ... why did I eat, why was I sad, etc. Therapy, soul searching, and support are all a piece of that for me. I wish you all the best in your journeys 💞

@jultrim18 you are not alone in these feelings. I have started counseling as well because even at two weeks post surgery, I find myself miserable and repulsed by the "new" life I am living. If my husband takes me to the movies (to get me out of the house), I cry through most of it (happened twice already 😢) because of the smell of popcorn and knowing I can't have it. We try to go visit family and have some sense of normalcy and I started crying at the dinner table...right into my 2oz of strained cream Soup. I have already made the decision I will spend Thanksgiving home alone this year and send my husband and kids to eat and Celebrate with the family. I don't want my depression to ruin everyone holiday. I know I am going to need help overcoming this and my husband and kids (age 16 & 19) don't know how to help at this point. That is where the counseling comes in and at this point I am really hoping it works or at least improves my Outlook as I adjust to this "new" me. 😕

^^^^^Wow! This! 1000 times this!!! ^^^^^ Thank you for sharing!

Just curious, were you "press-ganged" into having this surgery? I ask cuz in your original post you mention "I hate this life I am now forced into."?
What did you think would be different once you had surgery? Did you receive any pre-surgical instruction from your RD or surgical team?
I ask because everyone's team is so diff! I had 6 months of in-depth work with the RD and my doc and doc's team and eating, and can still go see the RD whenever I need to do a tune-up--for the next 5 years. LOL. I went in with my eyes open and was relieved to have the opportunity of the change it represented and happy about the chance to live a normal, healthy lifestyle.
I think therapy is an awesome thing to do!!! For everyone!

Hey jultrim I really appreciate your honesty. I am sorry you are feeling so bad. These are things that I and I think many people are/have worried about, and it is really really hard to face the reasons we overate in the 1st place, or to face the bad and for it to come to the surface, when food used to bury it. For me, food would numb me from pain. Some people may not have deep reasons they overeat, but I think many of us do. It would be good to see a therapist, no shame in that and just know that it took courage on your part to get this out and admit your feelings here and I don't think you are alone in them. We will not judge you for feeling bad; many of us get the feelings you have been having. I hope and pray you get to a place that you can find peace and happiness again, and soon. Let us know how you are doing and Hugs to you.

Hi, friends. I am 12 weeks post-op tomorrow. I am still miserable. I semi-regret this surgery. I miss food so much. I miss gorging myself. I miss the way food made me feel. I hate being scared of food. I hate always thinking of food and worrying about it. I hate this life I am now forced into. Yes, I have lost 45lb since surgery. 55lb since pre-op diet. However, food made me happy. Now I am unhappy. I think I am going to go to a therapist because this feeling is not getting better over time.

Oh goodness. I am 12 weeks post-op. Threw up for the first time since surgery. I ate a little bit of meatloaf. Then, I had some soft broccoli, and then a few bites of mashed potatoes. Oh no no no!!!! I couldn’t burp, and then all of a sudden I started salivating. Truly the worst feeling ever! However one little barf, and I was good 😂😂😂 I seriously need to learn to eat slower!

Hi, friends. I am 12 weeks post-op tomorrow. I am still miserable. I semi-regret this surgery. I miss food so much. I miss gorging myself. I miss the way food made me feel. I hate being scared of food. I hate always thinking of food and worrying about it. I hate this life I am now forced into. Yes, I have lost 45lb since surgery. 55lb since pre-op diet. However, food made me happy. Now I am unhappy. I think I am going to go to a therapist because this feeling is not getting better over time.

I think therapy will be super helpful for you, and I'm going to talk from my experiences with MY therapist.
I understand what you're saying about missing the way you used to eat. From what I've worked through with my therapist, it's the ability to control what goes into my mouth. If I was having a bad day, if my abusive parents went off on me, I could gain control of my life again by eating an entire large pizza. If I was tired, if I felt like I wasn't going anywhere in life, I could eat an entire Pasta bread bowl and cheese sticks. I could eat one, two three cheeseburgers because I wanted to, I was in control of how much I ate and went. That feeling of being full, of tasting that food over and over again, was what calmed me down.
Unfortunately, like more instant forms of self-harm, it's an unhealthy coping skill. You haven't gained any control by eating two large Double Double meals with milkshakes. All you've done is postponed your time to deal with it.
having surgery and having to be "forced" into a new way of eating takes this control away. You can't do what you used to do, so you feel like you're out of control.
You are worth so much more than gorging yourself on food. You are worth working through your feelings. You deserve so much more than what your brain may be telling you, and I'm so proud of you. ❤️

Hi, friends. I am 12 weeks post-op tomorrow. I am still miserable. I semi-regret this surgery. I miss food so much. I miss gorging myself. I miss the way food made me feel. I hate being scared of food. I hate always thinking of food and worrying about it. I hate this life I am now forced into. Yes, I have lost 45lb since surgery. 55lb since pre-op diet. However, food made me happy. Now I am unhappy. I think I am going to go to a therapist because this feeling is not getting better over time.

Hi, friends. I am 12 weeks post-op tomorrow. I am still miserable. I semi-regret this surgery. I miss food so much. I miss gorging myself. I miss the way food made me feel. I hate being scared of food. I hate always thinking of food and worrying about it. I hate this life I am now forced into. Yes, I have lost 45lb since surgery. 55lb since pre-op diet. However, food made me happy. Now I am unhappy. I think I am going to go to a therapist because this feeling is not getting better over time.

Do NOT cheat! You will be mad at yourself. I wanted pizza so bad during my liquid diet. I thought one slice was fine. However, I was strong!!! I would not allowed myself to do it Bc I was scared I would screw my self over during the surgery. Just eat a bunch of ice pops! It does not get easier. Also, make thick Protein Shakes. They fill you up much better than the store ones. Keep weighing yourself Bc you will see the weight go down and that will make you happy. Also drink your broth it tastes delicious during the stage 😂😂 good luck!!!

Hi, friends. I am 12 weeks post-op tomorrow. I am still miserable. I semi-regret this surgery. I miss food so much. I miss gorging myself. I miss the way food made me feel. I hate being scared of food. I hate always thinking of food and worrying about it. I hate this life I am now forced into. Yes, I have lost 45lb since surgery. 55lb since pre-op diet. However, food made me happy. Now I am unhappy. I think I am going to go to a therapist because this feeling is not getting better over time.

Did food really make you happy? For 5 minutes or so possibly but then afterwards when it made you put on all that weight and become unhealthy?

Food is like a frenemy, yes it gives us instantaneous comfort but we tend to feel bad afterwards.

There is no reason for you not to still enjoy food you just need to experiment and start enjoying healthier food. Maybe take a cooking class or order some cookbooks and try new interesting flavours and tastes.

Hi, friends. I am 12 weeks post-op tomorrow. I am still miserable. I semi-regret this surgery. I miss food so much. I miss gorging myself. I miss the way food made me feel. I hate being scared of food. I hate always thinking of food and worrying about it. I hate this life I am now forced into. Yes, I have lost 45lb since surgery. 55lb since pre-op diet. However, food made me happy. Now I am unhappy. I think I am going to go to a therapist because this feeling is not getting better over time.

Do NOT cheat! You will be mad at yourself. I wanted pizza so bad during my liquid diet. I thought one slice was fine. However, I was strong!!! I would not allowed myself to do it Bc I was scared I would screw my self over during the surgery. Just eat a bunch of ice pops! It does not get easier. Also, make thick Protein Shakes. They fill you up much better than the store ones. Keep weighing yourself Bc you will see the weight go down and that will make you happy. Also drink your broth it tastes delicious during the stage 😂😂 good luck!!!

Maybe innate sense of taking care,of yourself and your healing over being someone else's Pleasure Palace. It will either smooth out or not, if not , did you still want to swing from chandeleirs, vibrate all over the place, scream at the top of your lungs YES YES YES. No sense giving yourself a ❤attack, darling!
Clean up old nasty joke for more mixed company.
Young Bull,***Lets run down that hill and love us up a Cow.
Old Bull*** Slow down Son!.Walk down the hill and You can love the whole dang herd!
So Relax, Prioritize, and go for the Ultimate Gold. Marathoners get Olympic Medals also!😝👏

Truth!

But yeah, I had a very high sex drive before surgery--now I honestly care less. I do hope it balances out soon!

Oh gosh no. That stuff feels like you stuffed a chilli up your lady parts!

Sent from my SM-G930F using BariatricPal mobile app

It's a good thing when sex feels good, is fun and beats washing down walls all hollow.LOLR (laughing out loud remembering)😝💑