Sleeved36

Thanks Ash .... you're right on every point.
What I tell myself is he had the absolute best of me for 7 years. And his embarrassment over my appearance mattered more to him than anything else. I can change my weight (and I am!), but he can't change his shallowness

Girl! You are brave for sharing that story, but have come so far! I’m so proud of you and he didn’t deserve you at your worst, def not at your best! He was sexually attracted to you, so it sounds like he was more insecure of what people thought of him than anything else. Screw people like that. Be proud of what you love.

BIG CONFESSION TIME
I had a boyfriend of 7 years, who left me over my weight.
When we got together I was probably around 170-180. When he left me I was about 230.
We had no other major issues. We got along extremely well. We had only a few fights during our entire relationship. Despite my weight I was more physical active, and active in general (more social, traveled frequently), and also took a lot of pride in my appearance. He was slightly overweight when we met, gained some weight, and then lost weight to end up just very slightly overweight.
I noticed he started to not invite me to things with his family or friends. I didn't think too much about it. Holidays were off the table with him having 2 sets of kids, and me with my family, so we never did those together. Otherwise he was pretty much a homebody, so other social events for him were few and far between, made it easy to ignore. We both had demanding and social jobs, so staying in and me cooking was the norm. I barely noticed the decline in going out.
I knew from the beginning I wasn't his physical type. But I figured it wasn't a big deal, because we had a great sex life. There were things about him that weren't ideal, but all the good stuff made up for, I thought it was the same for him.
He began to get more distant. So we finally sat down and talked and he said he wanted to break up. He wouldn't give me an answer why really. I finally asked him if it was my weight. He was surprised I knew it was an issue for him. He told he was embarrassed to bring me around his family and friends or to be seen in public with me. He was still sexually attracted to me, but too embarrassed to be seen with me.
That was four years ago. I only told one person the real reason we broke up, and I did it when I was drunk, lol.

Typically overweight people and healthy people have different lifestyles. This can lead to incompatibility on lots of levels.
It is also hard to watch someone you care about be sick and unhealthy, over time this can wear at a relationship too.

I have personally never seen people break up solely because of weight gain or loss, there always seems to be a different problem lurking in the background and this is the easier thing to pick as the motive (even when its closely related its usually health issues caused by it)
People who want to be together find ways of making it work and last in healthy balanced ways.
Others can't wait for a legitimate "looking" reason to escape without seeming like the villain.

I think sometimes what happens is you lose attraction for the other person. If you meet someone and fall in love with them, and gain 150 pounds during the course of the relationship, it may change your willingness to do things like travel, and do activities you used to do as a couple. Even if someone loves you it may be a bit naive to think they will remain physically attracted to you through all of that.
The opposite is often true as we see on here. One person gets healthy and then the relationship falls apart. It goes both ways.

Took a while, but my back fat disappeared:) No fat, not even much loose skin...looks smooth and awesome again! (still waiting on my tummy, but there have been some terrific improvements) But my back looks great again... no little Michelin Man ripples:)

Compression gear. Hands down. Just make sure you buy 1 size smaller than you currently wear and I suggest not spending too much on them if you know you'll be losing a bunch more weight. Sucks buying expensive stuff and then not having it be useful any longer when you shrink. Plenty of cheap compression gear for women all over the place, target, Walmart, Amazon, etc.

Soft Proteins, yes.

I used my own recipe.

2 eggs
15oz part skim ricotta
1/4 cup grated parmesan
1tsp ground garlic
1tsp black pepper
Dash of basil
1tsp Italian seasoning
1tsp salt

Mix all these well.

Spoon 1 to 2 teaspoons into each spot on a mini muffin baking pan that you’ve sprayed with Pam.

Sprinkle a touch of reduced fat mozzarella on top of each.

Bake 20 minutes at 375.

I’m thinking of making a bariatric cooking/recipe blog. I love cooking and being inventive and really want to stay within my approved foods. So it may be neat!

I can finally participate!!!!

I made some low-fat ricotta bites and they are ahhhmazing!

Also- I made so many, because I’m bringing some to my surgery buddy to try!

Yep I use compression tank tops! Walmart actually carries my favorite ones.

Hey there you could double up on bras but if the front isn't the problem try a compression styled tank top. Super fitted , works wonders!!!!

So I have started jogging again. I used to, but it has been a long time and 50 pounds or so ago.
I noticed that I can feel my "back fat" jiggle. The real question is whether it is truly back fat or loose skin. Feels weird either way. Should I double up my sports bra and wear 1 backwards? 🤔
Really hoping the skin tightens. . . . .or I lose more back fat.
Anyone else have strangeness with new workouts?
Or good workout modifications?

I don’t own a scale. I have told my doctors that I don’t want to own a scale. This is a part of my recovery from my mental illness and eating disorder. I get weighed when I go to the doctor. My weight was stable for 2 years before surgery this way, and I have no fear that it will be different post surgery. I’m far more interested in these numbers: blood sugar, blood pressure, resting and active heart rate.

I officially weigh-in at my doctor's office every time I'm seen, which has been weekly so far. I weigh my self every day at home when I get up just to watch for trends. I also weigh in every day or so at the medical office at work. I do this mostly as a break from sitting at my computer all day. I stop in either before or after one of my walks. Again it is just for trending. I'm honestly not worried about the weight so much as the bulk. I want to weigh less, of course, but I want to be smaller.

Thank you! Well... just doing what I know works. For me that’s avoiding simple/refined carbs, learning the difference between eating because I’m hungry and eating because I’m angry/hurt/frustrated, and staying active. I run 20+ miles a week and do a lot of yoga. I’m lucky in that my restriction is still great and I never really got the hungries back like I did before once I got my acid under control post op.

I still have trouble gauging how much to serve myself even at five years out. Especially when I am eating things I don’t often eat (in this case quinoa and corn). They filled me up more quickly.

This is ancient grains and sautéed onions (about half and half) with leftover tri tip that I braised in red wine and wosterchire on top and then topped with a little bit of corn and green onions and cilantro. My fifteen year old ate what I didn’t. I added some power greens slaw on the side optimistically but didn’t eat any so cropped them out of the pic.

I will eat the slaw tomorrow for lunch.

The Matcha I've used for years and years

https://greenfoods.com/products/matcha-green-tea

After reading the post about Chia Seeds, I looked into Chia Seed pudding recipes. It has matcha powder as one of the additives. So I've got that and chia seeds on on my next grocery list.
https://wellnessmama.com/59344/chia-seed-pudding/

I looked at it when I first put in the bowl and thought man I'm gonna kill this and want more. Nope. Sliced the banana and added to the baggy in the freezer with the rest of it and my dog was more than happy with that leftover egg. Insane.

This is my first "meal" since surgery, day one of phase 3. One egg scrambled with one teaspoon of whole milk, a sprinkle of black pepper and paprika and 1/4 of banana. Unfortunately this is the post pic as I forgot to take a pre pic but gotta tell you it was not that much larger. I only had about 4 SMALL bites of the egg and started getting that good old feeling right at my sternum area. The 4 bites were over a period of about 10-15 minutes. Very odd feeling to eat such a small amount and have a full belly. This is going to be weird getting used to.

Dannon Oikos triple zero 5.3oz with hemp hearts, chia seeds, matcha powder, toasted edamame and raisins
Fin!

This was tonight’s dinner. They are bacon wrapped chicken breasts stuffed with veggies and cheese. I started with half of one and of course couldn’t finish. It was so good though.

Container dannon light and fit Greek yogurt with 1 tsp slivered almonds, 1 tsp unsweetened coconut and 1/2 tsp cocoa nibs. Sometimes I get full 2/3 of the way through. This morning I ate the whole thing.

Pre and Post...I eat the same omelette just 1/2. Three eggs, two slices cooked uncured bacon, fresh organic spinach and baby bella mushrooms, a sprinkle of shredded cheese cooked in about 1 teaspoon butter.

 

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