Frustr8

And Yes it is spelled ABUNDANTLY but remember, I do post on a Smartphone📱 whose 1st language is not even American English!

Yep much is better- some things are still WORKS IN PROGRESS- think I LOOK Abidently UGLY but,have a Whole Peanut Gallery,of people telling me I AM SUPPISED TO LOOK LIKE THIS- got any children, Horses in the Street to be Frightened or Clocks that have been Running TOO WELL and need to be STOPPED? Not too much planned today- I'm Available! But I keep going on going on and I guess I just Know No Better- would head to nearest Department store for Makeup Advice but Even They aren't LOURDES- no Miracle Workers At Macy's and the Rest ! I'll plaster a Smile😛 on, let it be My ☔Umbrella because Rain forecast☁ ALL DAY IN Mount Vernon Ohio and WELL into the Night! 👈😣👉-----laughing through my 💦Tears

Well all my buddies and such- in 15 days I visit my Bariatric Clinic. I will be 11 months and 10,days out and I am told THIS shall suffice as my 1 Year Check- up. Since nobody is busting their Buns to see me, although I feel there are glaring insufficiencies here and there in MY recovery, nobody really sees. MY importance in the Grand Scheme, didn't really plan to see my Surgeon again, figured he and his partner were a One And Done, now that I have had my one chance at Stardom in the Operating Theatre, pfft I am NO LONGER OF ANY THRILL to those 2, okay if that's THE WAY the GAME IS PLAYED. But a little Air will be Cleared up or I will not be back even if it will be in September 2020. I woke up again this morning, in pain, feeling sick and nauseous, I know my stomach is empty, but Dayum I feel like I have ulcer pain, I am not dreaming This- I am NOT WISHING to feel sick so Don't Tell my sad ME it's all psychosomatic, I am not a HEAD Case, don't shunt me off to my County Mental Health, I live in a Small County, not the Megalopolis of my State Capital, my County has many who validly NEED THEM and unless YOU Drive me there with a Pointed Stick, I Ain't GOING. So I am looking for proper phraseology among my Journal and Motivation apps- like the REBA McENTIRE song says I AIN'T GOING OUT LIKE THAT, it is my appointment, me and insurance are paying for it, since it is close to One Year, I'm sure it is TIME for co-pays instead of Total Coverage so Yours Truly the Person they have so Richly Ignored is going All Out, Guns Blazing Verbally. What is the Worst They Can Do? IGNORE ME? Been doing a bang- up Job of THAT for months after months and then a week ago I was informed I HAVE BEEN " Grandfathered" into a GOOD HEALTH STATUS? HMMN- I DON'T THINK SO! I may make the NATIONAL NEWS for THIS TANTRUM- move over Donald Trump and all the Democratic Canidates to Supplant HIM--- IT'S FRUSTR8- TIME and my 15 minutes of GLORY is OVERDUE!

You can and will do this and it's my own🙏 belief YOU will do this with Class and Grace, Maridiego, waiting for an Update on How Everything Goes!

You're losing your fat and shock- absorbing layer, so your flesh could hit your boNes quicker. Y'all mine giant petechiae or bloody freckles, just went through another blood lab but they never said my platelets were awfully fragile. Oh whatever, I at least know I'm not an abuse victim unless I'm doing IT to MYSELF!

Cut your shakes half and half with water,may take longer but others have complained of choking on them thick and undiluted. Go to broth or another liquid you can stand, how about decaf or herbal tea? Warm works for some people, cool for others and some_(but Not Me) want everything room temperature. Room temp to me seems like drinking # 1but I confess that's just MHO after all.

Well, my New friend, I have, through things Not All of My Intentions, been on Protein Shakes for nearly an entire full year, started my Liver shrink Diet August 1st 2018, and having had a slower than average RECOVERY because I am Much Older than Average, was 72 years and a little over 8 months for my RNY last September 5th, and we just don't heal as smooth and fast as the Younger ones. I have an extremely cranky pouch of egg-sized gastric flesh whoihave named Precious Pouch. When they did my 1st endoscopy 6 weeks in after much whining , complaining. And burning up their phone wires, it was discovered P.P. had 3 ulcers within herself which led to a stricture of my stoma opening between her and my jejunem plus there were multiple ulcerations in there as well. I have been on Carafate since last October 12th every 6 hours around the clock and the Path has been bumpy. Oh I have lost weight like " Gangbusters" but at what cost? Still hasn't been a final accounting, but I have become a gourmet protein shake drinker, as I STILL do not handle solids well. My Favorites in descending order- keeping in mind I have a Chocolate Allergy and drink plain Vanilla with a gun placed against my temple- I find it thick, white, cloying and tasteless- and I WILL NOT GO there. Strawberry Ensure High protein Max- like it and the new wild Berry. Muscle Milk blueberry Greek yogurt making my own with whey isolate protein powder and 1% or skim milk- whir it up in my Nutibullet with ice cubes, makes it cold and slushy like a real milkshake Glucerna Butter Pecan premiere protein or acts and creme- not quite as fond but it reminds me of those orange circus peanut candies I used to love . The Peach Mango shake stuff Ohio State has, don't know what it's exact name is but had it during immediate post surgery and when I got rehospitalized in late November. a tale THERE too. But of All I have tried that Ensure is hand down the BESt , tastes just like Strawberry Quik without the fakey flakey evaporated milk taste or aftertaste I grew to loathe. A lot of people swear by GNC or Unjury, never had either, refuse to frequent Jeff Bezos mega- Spider Amazon so no I DO NOT HAVE A PRIME ACCOUNT! I have ordered from Bariatric Pal Store, quick delivery, things feared always toward us even more than General Public, although I'm sure they also are welcome! Like the meaning of FUBU, for Us- by Us, that's the true Black meaning, other being F Up Beyond Understanding, and when I get mad at Me-thats where I am At.

I remember Richard Burton, the Actor, saying He was innately painfully shy but nobody believed him. He was such a Good Actor he donned a Facade and nobody knew the Real Richard inside. This has some + but a Whole Lot of - and that was difficult to constantly maintain. What might look like slothful laziness to others might be "You being Kind to You", nobody can blaze forth on all burners without getting a little singed yourself. And in the long run, YOU were not. put on this 🌎 Earth just to pleases others but to live, love, appreciate and respect YOU, when all else fades, How Did You Treat You? Have I always been this bright? Nope, spent years and years, from my parents who werent sure a daughter was a Good Idea, through a husband who thought I should only be an extension of HIM and unto children , at least 1 of the 3 , did and still takes Me for granted, oh I was an Handy Doormat for everyone to Wipe their feet on, not until my Bariatric decision, where I said ITS TIME FOR ME, after the parents and my husband the Late Lamented had died, the children had acheived Adulthood, did I take the time to Believe in ME, that I deserved a chance to LIVE instead of dying OBESE, SAD and in PAIN. And when I finally grew up into Real Person-hood I have been accused of being strident, well maybe I am making up for years and years of being Victorine the Victim--- I am a Thinner Resilent Winner and I'm Living with a new-Found Gusto, had their opportunity to KILL ME, didn't and they'll need to just live with it NOW!

And I am Just a Fragment Older, 73 heading towards 74, will be 11 months in 8 or 9 days, depending on the time you read this, I'm in US Eastern Time Zone. A little closer to goal, have passed my CNP and surgeon's goal if just under 200 pounds num PCP is whiny, stomping his feet like an enraged skunk, He Didn't expect me. to lose down This Quickly, wanted me to lose 70% of my Excess Body Weight, I'm at 68.3 % now, that's a VSG type weight loss, he knows Dang Well I was an RNY Bypass , WE LOSE 75- 85% as a rule. And this is the Very Same Dude who stomped around the Exam Room chanting " YOU ARE GOING TO DIE OBESE Before YOU. can make it towards 75!", now I have fought for My Life, made it within 29-25 pounds of My Goal and He Wants to Cloud up☁and Rain ☔on my Personal Parade? Tain't right , it Just Isn't! Smile and be Happy for Me, if that stethoscope is choking YOU, just take it OFF and be My Friend! Slowed down a little at times but never really " Stalled", just chug- a- chugged along toward Victory like the Jalopy🚘I always have been, No Ferrari but I was built for endurance not Speed- in the Late 40s we were built out of Solid Strong American Steel-- not Plastic or Fiberglass- We were Your" Forever Car", not to be Traded In for something in a prettier shade or newer conformation or just because You were Tired of US! So stop trying to Block My Road, if. you don't want to Travel Along, go park on the Berm, Frustr8 is Driving On Through! BEEP BEEP- frickin' BEEP!🚘

Hey Babe,You Learn As You Go, we all, in each of our Own Ways, did! And like the Loving Bariatric Aunts and Uncles we Are, you're Fine and can do No Wrong in Our Eyes! We'll ❤YOU-- no Matter What Ever Happens- You not only have friends , YOU ARE part of OYR FAMILY NOW!

And WE WILL BE RIGHT here cheering YOU and all the others Along! It's a Brand New World but betting YOU'LL LIKE IT here😛🌈😛

And like the Gospel song I once sang WOULDN'T TAKE NOTHING FOR MY JOURNEY NOW GONNA MAKE IT TO HEAVEN SOMEHOW . EVEN IF THE DEVIL GRABS A-HOLD AND TRIES TO TURN ME AROUND.Been A Child of the KING and will stay on Team Jesus, give him the Glory, be grateful for his INSTRAMENT- my surgeon- for His Portion-but until my Last Breath , whenever it BE- I TEUST AND ABIDE! Happy Sunday Morning, Happy Life and Happy FUTURE To ALL!

Maybe I will NEVER REACH that fine point of Life Prolong'ment, that GOOD LEVEL of Weight Loss Management but I am trusting in THIS JOURNEY, achieving ALL that I CAN. and I still believe Frustr8 will find her PERSONAL SET POINT. If I trust MYSELF to COMPLETE IT, I cannot be a FAILURE. Saw a message among my apps this AM No One guaranteed there would be NO PAIN No One said it would be EFFORTLESS and QUICK Not ONE PERSON may even notice MY STRUGGLE But NOTHING can be WORSE than being trapped in OBESITY where I never was CREATED to be or where I NEVER BELONGED. I FINALLY Found ME and MY DESTINY among yesterday's Ashes and the Passing On of LIFE. NOW I Stand UP , whether I Can See into the FUTURE, whether my Legs Shake or Not, with my Scars shining forth but I STAND- YES MY FRIENDS- I DO STAND!😛 AND IT WILL BE RIGHT, IT WILL BE EXCELLENT. and I FEEL FULFILLED NOW!

And sad to say, they do so Many in A Year, they may not even recall your face! So all my preceding sisters are correct, the tummy and only the tummy is Their Goal!👈😛👉

Yeah it is exciting to think of, and oh the changes You'll See as You Go along and Through it ALL. It may be bumpy for a while but what You Gain makes up for Anything You Felt you LOST! So Good Luck, Godspeed and keep us updated, OKAY?

Well , my goal all along has been size 15 Junior/175 pounds. The junior because for a Once very obese 🐤 and now lost feathers, claws and spurs, and probably my break and comb next, joke I already look like a Plucked Pullet in neighborhood of 190, scrawny neck, what seems like sunken- in cheeks, the whole sad train- wreck I think I LOOK like , although most people say I DON'T. I maybe chose 175 because it was a little over one- half the High Weight I once had 2 years ago, and after having Medical personnel say " OMG, You're at least 175 pounds overweight; that number, like a Bad Scar, I just can't escape it showing.Will 175 give me that cherished hope of a Size 15? Not certain, at this point I am either a 18 or 19, depending on which style pallets I'm dabbling in. I do miss Me, some of the old look I used to have, even the last time I was this size, Maybe summer of 1967, I still looked quite different. Although many say I do Not LOOK MY Age, I fear I look closer to the years I really have lived. Will they know ME when I walk into the Bariatric Clinic on August 14th? If they don't, IT IS THEIR OWN STUPID FAULT, not MY CHOICE not to be seen for 4 almost 5 months. Either it is Benign Neglect or I am NOT as interesting as once I was. Nurse Practitioner Valerie has decided to "grandfather" me into Good Health, does not want to do an additional EGJ even though I feel my ulcers are back again, the gnawing sensation eating , drinking milk, or even abstaining from food, nothing seems to relieve it. Yes I faithfully take my PPI once a day, have taken Carafate every 6 hours around the clock since October 12 2018, missed very few doses, probably could count them on my fingers and HAVE a digit or 2 left. But Valerie has made up in her little mind I am all BETTER, a miracle healing, Maybe she Moonlights as an TV Evangelist? Oh it is ONLY MY BODY after all, how dare I believe I might not be PERFECT by now? Oh,I have kept my faith with my surgeon, the Great White Kahuna of it All, I promised on July 17th 2018 if HE would permit and perform my Surgery he would never hear a Whine , Complaint or me saying I regretted Anything about my Road TO and Through RNY and I have kept My Promise! I, on the other hand made No Such Promise to Ms VALERIE Moore, Certified Nurse- Practioner along with her other titles , like Masters in Nursing, Advanced Practice Validation/ Certification and GOD himself knows What Else. I am basically placid, sweet- tempered, put up up with enough BS to fertilize A Very Large Garden Plot, but at 73 just how much do I Endure before fighting back at least verbally? I have submitted, rolled over until I can't launder the soil out of my clothes, I would cry at the injustice but turning the " Other Cheek" gains one 2 bruised cheeks and permanently Red Eyes and Ragweed season is nearly over, can't pass this off as Allergies as I once did. So better off or worse? I am thinner, look better, almost have a figure that Appears like a More Average Woman. But to gain this, I had MAJOR surgery, elected to make myself an Gastrointestinal Cripple. Yeah, in theory since I was an RNY, I could be reconnected since I did not lose my stomach, just had it divided into 2 sections, but what Guarantee do I have that ability to. take more than 6 ounces of anything in food, renewed enervation, natural peristalsis and all the things I once could take for granted WOULD work once again ? And Although I know my surgeon has more than adequate skills to effect this, would he be willing to? Would Medicare/ Medicaid fund another and MOST IMPORTANT-- Could I actually survive another? Yeah Alex Brecher did, but He's a Whole Lot Younger and his was to Save His Life, not to. merelyfeel better. Sorry folks, but tonight The.Big Brave Cowgirl has rode this pony until we are both 😫 Tired, stable one or both of us until Sunrise.💦😪&🐎

And I just went out to the Freezer and got out a 100 calorie Creamsicle, the Orange on the Outside is just a little tart, balances out the creamy middle nicely.

Going to try the Toned Arms list, can't do Push Ups, if I get down on the floor, it takes an Act of Congress to get me back up, but the rest? Hey, even an Old Chick like me can do That! I wonder if a Standing up PushUp would work , using a Wall , to and then Push Away? Otherwise, can't hurt and might just work, all I got to spend is my Time. Yeah, the Price is Right and believe I'm ending the month better than I Started, so I count it Successful.

Before I got my apnea diagnosis I had the snoring, restlessness but I also had one nobody else mentioned, nightmares where I woke up in a cold sweat. Don't have them anymore, and I have a theory for that, like one of other posters I also had high frequency of episodes 70- 75 an hour, I think my body was starving for quality air intake, I would bebwoke by those! Tonight both my Tomkitten, my son, and I will have Sleep Studies, his 1st and my re- evale, because I am down 175 pounds from Highest Weight, which was almost 2 years ago, 120+ since my RNY on September 5th 2018, a chance it will be D'Cd but betting not, Tomkitten will be the 3rd generation with Medical certification so it's either intrinsic, which I suspect, or the result of a bad dietary heredity. But We Shall. See what we Shall see! Think Good Thoughts for us both! Lying here with Uncle Snuffely on, I tend to " Name" things so my C-Pap has His Own, we have become Good Friends by Now. And a little FYI for some of you guys, yeah I took my Uncle S. with me when I had my RNY at Ohio State, but I accidently left on of the pieces home, took all new tubing, really THOUGHT I had it ALL but I didn't. And my machine was a different model from the ones Respiratory had "in- house". What happened? I was on O2 the whole time I was there, under House Arrest in my Room, never met anyone else recovering, SHOOT I didn't even get to walk in the Hall. So Yeah, do take your C-Pap, but make sure before you leave home the pieces are ALL THERE, it's dang lonely looking at 3 walls and a window, yeah You Can Watch TV but my one at home is Bigger, Nicer and has Netflix on it as well as Spectrum Cable. WORD!

But Truly MANY of them will not appeal to You! I have tried a small amount of some of mine, and I DON'T KNOW what I ever Saw on them, they just leave me COLD! More than a fair chance you also will be like THAT.

Well Thanks for your post Krimson, one of my friends tried telling me I should give,up all Lemonade, hey I went to the 15 calorie variety, give a girl a little LOVE here! I may be in the Midwest but I used to LOVE SWEET TEA, never was THAT MUCH of a Soda Freak, but Sweet Tea in a Chilled Glass, used to keep drinking glasses in the Freezer, Now THAT was LIVING! Maybe I should make,Decaf with Stevia💦, yeah maybe BUT I MISS THE HARD STUFF, ya know?

My diagnosis: a control thing- by sabatoging you she wins- and it's "Poor Rosemary", to all her friends, " I warned her" We Sicilian aren't built for THOSE POOR DIETS- THAT RADICAL A SURGERY- We were meant by GOD to eat healthy home- cooked FOOD!" Nonna wins , YOU lose, and in her ❤, all is WELL. Meanwhile there you are , nauseous on the sidelines, wondering why your own mother acts this way? And I believe you're trying your best, for yourself and trying to be a good example for your Daughter, but her fine Italian thumb is right on top of you again! How do I know this? A long life and although I'm as American as Hot Dogs and Apple Pie, on my street were Italian neighbor Mamas, 2 streets over were the Greeks , and between pasta and moussaka, and Paczi from the Polish Mamas the other direction, I became a Dietary Delinquent at an Early Age and now at 73 I'm still shedding the weight! Finally, You know how you now feel about Banana Bread? I'm 10 going on 11 months out, someone made me what they called an Healthy Smoothie, put a Banana in it, same General Body Reaction, Maybe the Yellow fruit and I will never be Friends Again! Sad, before my surgery they had much A-Peel for Me, just couldn't resist a Pun There! Much Love, Much Sympathy because I have been" food- repulsed" also 😣✋😛

It isn't just us with such a frustrating problem- the actress Cybill Shepherd was quoted as saying after her twin pregnancy she had a time when she folded up her post- pregnancy skin and tucked it into her bottom clothing, Maybe They were styles from Rodeo Drive, but even the famous. have it too!

Mine was Go just before you're transported to OR; unless I run into something unplanned- You'll be catheter- free! Needless to say--I Did Follow the Plan! Tube Free for ME!😛💦🙏

One of the worst things for ME, and YES I Am a Spectrum Sister, the abiding sense I was a square Peg living in a Round Peg World, I was just enough diverse. to feel homeless and alone. Please get your MRI, I believe it will give you answers and more Peace of Mind to know a little more of the answers.