Frustr8

And @ypease that's exactly how things shoukdbe!

And I think you handled it well 🐭🐺, he maybe like I tended to be, that no one cares what happens to Him, Might as well drink, probably feels it is the Only thing he can rely on, a "Hi Joe, just thought I would check how You're doing" feeling like You Do Still matter is a great Mood Load-leveler, I would guess he's in the clutch of Depression Too. And that is one Nasty clinging thing to get loose of- been there, done that and like any addiction, very hard to ditch. Underneath my thin new exterior is lurking a Depressive Foodaholic , never totally gone but under control 📅 Day by Day. And it remains worth the struggle to be redesigned, renovated and remodeled but never a easy peasy thing. And that's how MsFrustr8 sees it all.

And , Yes,You have made it This Far and even more Wonderful days ahead!👣Go For It, the ball's in Your Court and winning is Ahead!

Go Slow, take Teeny-Tiny bites and see what your body will allow. Until later times it is Your One and Only Best Guide, treat it kindly and it will remain Your Friend always! God Bless and watch what Your Future may Be.👍😛🌈

And You are Now the CEO of YOU! Add, prioritize, catalog what you need, Delete if necessary but the Person to Please is YOU and YOU alone. A Good Life is right down the path you've been traveling, Yes right Around That Corner Ahead!😛👍🌈

Do not regret eating only Small Portions- as long as they are protein rich, full of the vitamins and minerals you DO require. With each day you become healthier and closer to the Wonderous Person you were MEANT to be, let the Real You be shown to the Outside World, the Great Person you were MEANT to Be and they can't help but Love the New Positive YOU!❤

Time to wake up,my friend*** See inspiration all around you *** Smell what victory is Like*** Plan your future ahead*** And know there is no one more worthy than YOU**** For distances you've had to travel only prepares YOU for Your New Life Ahead And YOU ARE the person achieving All Your Dreams By Yourself- For Yourself- Believe in Yourself and the Final Victory will be All your Own!

And it would be down- right humorous if it wasn't happening to YOU!

Some beautiful paths cannot be discovered without becoming lost first. ,,,,,,Erol Ozan

I am making many changes in my Life as I lose this weight If you no longer hear from ME you May just be one of them.

stupid CNP said I suppose you're not losing your hair? No I just thought everyone had red hair that looks like it was painted on, You mean They Don't? Hmmm does save temporarily on haircuts, but like 🐭🐺 my bangs were pretty pitiful for a while. But I am approaching skinny, can't afford wigs so I'll grin😛and bear it unless it gets totally gone! Then everybody will see how many lumps I have in My Skull.

Yeah Andy Android has always done me fine- Only owned 1 I-Phone, Tomkitten accidentally laundered it with my jacket. Found out ERA not only removes stains it obliterates Cell Phone MEMORIES, if I didn't love Him So Much. I might have had him Keelhauled for THAT MANEUVER! Current phone is Nougat system, cost dearly but I do love ITS speed and multi- functions. Now if I can keep Tomkitten from programming YouTube onto both TV's my day will go fine, it's his Latest Threat to exasperate Me!

Alcohol is empty calories you know- but you're a Grownup so YMYBYC ( your money- your body-your choice) Okay?

Yeah it can push the food along so fast you can't absorb calories, especially if you are part of the general Bypass family, your digestion starts much farther down in the proximal/or/distal end of your jejunem and you are naturally now at a caloric deficiency and this only compounds the malnutrition, sad to say. As the Old Carnival Barker said " YOU pay Your 💰 money, YOU take your choice" well when we "BOOKED in" our surgeons probably told us, to guarantee good weight loss, a modicum of perfect digestion is given up. In my case I went in more than twice the BMI an 70+ woman. should carry, I needed to LOSE weight before I lost my LIFE and /or I developed all the hereditary diseases I was potential heiress to. The fact that I HADN'T was more Good Luck than Good Planning and my PCP was starting to have a conniption fit that his fancy- shamancy diets weren't working. Want the dictionary definition of conniption? A fit of hysterical excitement or anger, and YES that is exactly how Dr Carroll saw it in October 2017 when I became the ONLY PERSON in his knowledge to ever GAIN 30 pounds with one month of Phenteramine therapy. Oldest person I ever Saw have a tantrum, and like I said, I've been around "since Hector was a pup" and He now has gray on his muzzle. But many of the Things have resolved, I am now. 188 down from 365+, surgeon/ bariatric staff. was SATISFIED with anything below 200, I want to attempt to stay on track to 175, that's MY GOAL! And Doctor Tantrum- Thrower, now he's.PO.end thinks I've lost TOO Much Too Quickly, should have watched What He Said-- for I am nothing but a Compliant Soul , I follow Medical Advice when all's said and done! And although without clothes on, I have blobby stretched out skin where the blubber used to be, barbed I am a Firecracker if not a full- fledged stick of Dy-noh-mite! Honey for a 73 year broad I am looking pretty fine, never was petite, won't start NOW but I look as good as the average over-70 RockStar, and facing the facts there are a lot of 60s and 70s music icons there these days. Always was prettier than Mick Jagger, even at my Worst!😛👍🎶🎸👵

fluffy Chix is likely correct, its called Gastrocolonic Reflex- it's the reason you have to visit the Porcelain Palace within a very short time- food in- feces out. And if things aren't going" tickety- boom" down there- a Sad Time is had by all! And I speak sorrowfully from experience: I have very sluggish digestion/ excretion & it is 3-fold 1) skimpy diet without much fiber 2) as a RNY we tend toward the more solid stool 3) I am in the Late Afternoon of Life Span- And as you age your colon along with other things gets sluggish, your rectal muscles are tired and inefficent- and in a quivering voice they say----- H*E*double hockey sticks WE WON'T GO! And I have become bosom buddies with Miralax,Metamucil, M..O.M. Colace and the fearsome Ducolax pills. I already take Magnesium (MagOx) routinely so to avoid Magnesium overload I seldom resort to MagCitrate. And if you have been following my posts (and Thank You for that!) you remember the Milk and Molasses enema of last May, although it is bareable it is NOT something to be desired often. Its hard to maintain a smile and cheery disposition when your "Nether" regions are exploding forth with extreme vim and vigor!

Yeah I do value honesty, even if it is not happy news, be straight with me, don't make me feel it is not all my fault- GOD in Heaven knows I have tried- I wanted to become a Model Patient- somebody that people could point out and say " She's such a success, I feel inspired to now carry on MYSELF!" and perhaps there is someone somewhere that feels THAT WAY , I'm not aware of any. And one of the definitions of model is "An imitation of the real thing". Oh I will Survive. this, I have vanquished many other things in my lifetime. Today I have hunger/ pain, I eat something, never very much because if I try to increase my portion size it hurts until Precious Pouch reflexes up emesis. So i take in a Small amount, never enough to feel good, maybe I will never have such a feeling again, and then 1-1.5 hours the hunger type pain has returned, I give it protein shake or Greek yogurt, if other fluids fail to satisfy, really don't desire mentally anything, nothing sounds good, few things taste good, restraint I expected but revulsion? Nope never booked that in! And those who do comment say "My oh My You look good! " Makes a body wonder - was I THAT disgusting before? And my neck , face and upper chest look so bony and thin- I fear I Am suffering from "Failure To Thrive" and nobody cares enough to notice. Maybe I truly merely look thin never been there before so no standard of comparison. And the people who were blind to me before are too deaf to really listen. to what I am trying to say. I would stop taking my meds, vitamins and minerals, but they May Just be keeping me going, let alone prolonging my life. If that Shannon thought I was depressed in May 2019, she should seen me the spring before, when Surgeon# 1 kicked me to the curb, told his staff to tell me I was mentally and emotionally deficient and totally unworthy of surgery, now THAT WAS DEPRESSION time for ME, but even then , I was not actively plotting suicide, what would have been the use? I was believing I was such a screw-up I couldn't even get THAT right. I just wanted to die passively, would not lift a hand to do ANYTHING. And it took so so much to even attempt to continue seeking my surgery, I was very fortunate to find Ohio State and Dr Needleman and that they not only gave me a chance, they seemed to believe in Me so I once again could believe in Me. That may be why this indifference and ignoring of Me hurts me so much. I. thought They always were There for Me. But I will surmount what I cannot CHANGE, internally my body will not function as it once did, BMs every day, being able to swallow and have food stay DOWN. Yeah, I did have a high calorie count, Might have even binged but I could eat, taste and know I was ALIVE, now the Brand- New ME was worth the pain , poor inefficent healing and sorrows, did I PAY TOO MUCH just to be thin? I gained the World only to lose a lot of my Me-ness , although in theory , a bypass can be reversed, I won't seek it. 1) I do not want to regain back again. and more importantly I still would feel flawed internally. I gotta go forward because backward isn't an option EITHER. And yes, having put this all down has given me some shred of peace- so I will continue on and my end will be victorious SOMEHOW. PROMISE!!!!

Oh I do also, but when clothes cover it, I LOOK pretty fine, and you take triumph where You Can.

Well I went for my quasi- 1 year checkup on the 14th- why did I even bothered--- IDK? Got there promptly, well even a little ahead of time, have an abiding fear if getting caught in Big City Traffic, and in the waiting room I sat, a couple after surgeries like me, the rest "pre" and anticipating. Got weighed, a mini- ooh wow at my weight loss, they DID NOT EXPECT. me to be below 190. Then Tomkitten and I were shown to a room to wait for whoever deigned to see me. He attends99% of my appointments for 2 reasons 1) security for ME 2) he has the hearing of a hidden microphone- nothing gets by him. Finally ( my appointed time was 3:30, it was 5:15) in comes Shannon, one of my absolute unfavorite nurses, has sneer on her face often, complaining that 2 nurses are having to do the work of 3 since Valerie( the chief one- the one I wanted to see if I couldn't see my surgeon, him I will in all probability never seen again unless I have a bowel torsion or another surgical OMG) . Well whine whine NMF- not my fault, we all don't have sunshine and bluebird singing in the trees! I tried to verbalize a few of my concerns, paid more attention to her laptop keyboard than to ME. I'm sure a court stenographer or such would have billed less to my insurance. Basically told me I was fully healed whether I believed it or not, no more endoscopies or testings needed, then proceeded to make a liar of herself, only blood testing record on my chart was one my PCP had done closely after my iron infusion in March to see if my Ferritin level had stayed LEVEL had stayed stable, I had had another DONE just after it was finally ordered on July 19th. Yeah it was done at my hospital here in Mount Vernon but they had each other's fax numbers, if they were concerned one side could have called the other, Not to insinuate I AM A LIAR! If it had been My Call " Hi this is Ohio State University Bariatric Clinic . We faxed you an order on July 19th for one of our patients to have blood tests run, if you are able to access it, if you are Not able to fax it in its entirety, the facets we are most interested in are ___,____, &____. Thank you very much, we will be hoping to hear from you soon." Neat, Sweet and Complete. Then she said in essence, my pain levels will not lessen , I may remain nauseous for the foreseeable future if not the rest of my life, why not just come OUT and admit " We Made You a Gastrointestinal Cripple when we did your Surgery, Sorry but Not Sorry. Just the Way the Mop Flops, honey!" I would just like to wake up one morning, not in pain, not nauseous, not to be told I am delusional, needing psychiatric help for what seems to be bodily symptoms. I would relish wakiing up to "Hurray a New Day" not "Is That all There Is?" And also the reason I was treated So shabbily in May? She claims I told her I was depressed and suicidal . For this you tell someone to go away , stop bothering you and call your county overburdened mental health agencies? 1) I said nothing similar to that , only that I was vomitting for a prolonged period and scared and 2) If I were going to "off" MYSELF, this would push me over the edge to Complete it, because I would feel Nobody really cares for Me, Might as Well Die! If anyone wants to know further WHY I NEVER WOULD KILL MYSELF feel free to P.M. me, although I won't take up space in the Public Domain, there is a Story and I am not reluctant to Speak of It. Okay? So I am not scheduled for another Appointment until August 2020, with this feeble excuse for a Caring Person, at the very Least I will call and request Somebody Different, I no longer want or trust this person, her advice, such as it is, I find flawed, not helpful to my future. I would not have difficulty finding another, you barely can turn in a circle without running into a nurse, indeed it is like they have an Industrial Conveyer Belt. somewhere in the building, as the 60s song said " All made of Ticky- Tacky and they all LOOK the Same". So I remain your buddy, a few tears for what might have been, because intrinsically I do believe,things could have ended up better, maybe I will become resigned to lessening of expectations. But I wanted the GOLD RING, to find out it was cheapness metal and turned my finger Green breaks my❤. I believed I deserved the Very Best outcome and I'm not sure I Got It. Your thinner(⬇188 pounds) Sadder maybe Wiser Bestest Bud--- FRUSTR8

Yeah 🐭🐺and I even peel batters off, knock crumb coatings into oblivion. Why Oh Why did I once THINK they tasted good? Even milk with more than 1% butterfat is like drinking Crisco, and I never could have suspected I'd even feel that way! Nothing is worth getting Fat once Again!

To quote Dr Suess Oh the Places you will Go---- Oh the Things you will See! But Welcome to our World, the Minor heart aches are more than outweighed by the MAJOR benefits. Very very few of us would even want to return to where we were before, I have had a strangely difficult road to recovery but I would never ever return to the Frustr8 I was before September 5th 2018. She was obese, sick, had given up on herself and almost life itself. No No. Never Ever Again will I Be There! I'm down over 140 pounds since then, don't know if I have gotten cuter, cuteness is optional at 73 , but people no longer ignore the fat lady in the corner, I'm living large with a much smaller body and I am a Force to Contend With, like my Country Soul Sister Reba McEntire I'M NOT GOING OUT LIKE THAT ! I'm sassy , RedHeaded and a Strong Proud Person Now. So let's hear your stories too, okay?

A moment of silence for all the money I spent on junk food. RIP thousands of $.

Yeah Very Very true, but while you're doing THAT you have NO TIME to grab a snack from the pantry or refrigerator! And one for you now You're now dating my Ex? I'm just finishing a 🍔sandwich. Would you like those leftovers too?😛

And add me to Lipona Lane! I asked my ortho ( because I darken HIs Door most often) told me what it was, I confess it was just a blob at first to me, consulted a general SURGERY person, broad nearly yawned in my face " You can walk around with THAT. the rest of your life not going to hurt You None!" pafooey, IT DISTRESSES ME TO LOOK At It! That was at least 6 months ago, now the blob on the left upper arm is encroaching over onto my antcubital vein and I have one starting in about the same place on the right inner elbow and a biggish one has developed over the bottom of my right arm scar where my humeral fracture was surgically repaired. Well one of my favorite cable shows is "Dr Pimple-popper" she's a Dermatologist so got referall to local one. Also a big fat mistake, first she told me not to be concerned about the big dark spots over my now prominent cheekbones, the family legends were true after all, I do have some Native American blood in my American Mongrel mix, only explanation I can come up with . I now look like serveral paternal cousins, just a different color pallet! She told me to be grateful as fair as I am, I don't have Skin Cancer. Shoot I never thought Cancer, I wanted something to eradicate or at least fade these marks, had people who would like to mind my business tell me they look like healing bruises. Then we got to my lipomas, each look like halved 🎾 balls, told me " Why don't you ask a General Surgeon? " Who the flying Whoopie- Doopies does She Think sent me to her? It was thoroughly useless waste of my time, but I see on my after- visit she billed my insurance like she actually repaired these things! Enough Gall to be divided in 3 parts, I'm thinking! So when I go for my Bariatric today, I will ask if there is a Surgical someone at Martha Morehouse Pavillion I could at least speak with, even if it is largely cosmetic , looking at them distresses me, Lost all this weight to look blobby and lumpy? Sob Sob, it ain't FAIR😪😥

Well off to my Bariatric Clinic today for what passes as my 1 Year visit ---'even if I am 11 months 9 days only--Will see how things go- this one is with Maggie a Nurse Practitioner I have NEVER MET. Probably will never see Dr Needleman again unless I require more surgery- I seem to relegated to the "2 ships passing in the Night" status now. How nice I act today depends on their attitude more than mine; I tend to being sweet and compliant as long as Nobody Screws Me Over! Then instead of watching Karma working them over I become Karma myself, retaliate, and not to brag, but I CAN BE FEARSOME if necessary. Pray for me Today🙏and if they get my " Irish" up, for truly I have strawberry blonde verging on RED hair, Pray for Them, for they may just NEED it. ❤The Bumper Sticker that says "Kill all Your Enemies if necessary, it's up then to GOD to determine where they should be Filed" And Chekhov in in Star Trek said it, at least I'll give him first credit for the line FOOL ME ONCE, SHAME ON YOU FOOL ME TWICE, SHAME ON ME. Have a smooth, blessed Day one and all-- And I'll catch you one the Flip Side!😛✊😛

Never was even offered one- maybe my surgeon doesn't believe of them ?