Nat2.0

Thanks for telling us about your experience and including so many details. Though some folks might think it's too long, I really appreciated reading it. My ppwk is going to be submitted by my surgeon's office this week and we're hoping to hear back around 2 weeks. If all goes well, I'm hoping to get sleeved at the end of May. Hope you're continuing to recover well! Would love to hear how you're doing!

Natasha0820, How did your surgery go? Your surgery was 04/16/18, right? Would love to hear more about your journey and follow your progress, esp since we're both in CO! All my insurance requirements were met at the beginning of the month. I'm now waiting for my surgeon's office to submit and to see if I get approved. Hoping to get sleeved right after Memorial Day. All the best, Nat2.0

Hi, Ladybutternubs! Thanks for the response... I haven't been on the app or site for awhile so I'm just now seeing your reply. Thank you! I just attended the support group Kelly runs last night for the first time! Were you there? Do you go regularly?

Congrats!! Keep us posted on your journey! I'm hoping to get approved in April and sleeved in late May. *fingers crossed*

I agree with so many of the things you listed... Painting toes without hassle. Not always being the fattest/biggest one in photos and trying to hide behind people (hard to do since I'm only 5'1")! And not being the fat sister. Having a slim face and body - not needing filters or photo editing to make me look better before letting people see photos of me. Not needing to buy XXL shirts/dresses or plus size bottoms, or having fat feet. Can't wait to wear cute clothes and shoes again!! Might be TMI, but not feeling like I'm going to pull a back muscle or break my arm trying to take care of business in the bathroom. Strange thing to realize over time that this would be difficult, but I guess it makes sense that the backside gets bigger just as the rest of me has. Not being in chronic pain or feeling exhausted just walking or trying to do anything physical. Keeping up with my active kids and not just watching from the sidelines. Not wanting to eat so often or so much. Thanks for starting this thread! Love the encouragement and support for each other on our journeys. Let's keep it going! I'm hoping to get approved in April and sleeved in late May. And, to respond to another post, I'm in Colorado.

Hi, Ladybutternubs. Did you ever end up having your surgery with Dr. Frank Chae? I met with him for an initial consultation in November 2017 and am currently working on completing the insurance requirements during the mandated 6 month waiting period. If you proceeded with his office, can you please share how your experience was? If you didn't, would you be willing to share why? A friend of mine had VSG by Dr. Chae about 1.5 years ago and raved about him and his office to me. She also has several friends who had surgery performed by him. I've read many positive reviews about him online and have seen some of his video clips (i.e. him being on The Doctors show recently about vBloc). All the best... hope to hear about your journey and decisions.

Congrats!! So happy to hear your husband had a change of heart! I totally related to your previous posts and stress. My husband was also a nay-sayer and had several hurtful comments to express his skepticism and disapproval of my decision. Since then, we've talked more and I've shared with him some informative articles which (with some prodding) he finally read... and, he is more open to the idea now. Though he may not understand the weight loss struggle, I think he accepts my decision now. He even went so far as to say he will support me the best he can. I'm happy you will get to proceed with your WLS. All the best!

I'm so sorry, DRoseman. [emoji22] My heart breaks for you. I can also empathize. My husband and I have had similar conversions. It is so hurtful that sometimes it seems he cares more about the money than the health benefit and quality of life I could gain. I have diabetes, arthritis, and have struggled with my weight most of my life. He went so far as to say the other day that if I'm going to go through with it he'll just have to look at it as money he gambled away and lost and will never get back. SERIOUSLY??? [emoji35] I wonder if our insurance was to pay all of it if he'd even make such a stink about it. They will only pay a portion and I have to pay the rest. I'm still working on my husband to help him understand the benefits of the surgery and why it's diff than just dieting or starving myself. I have a few months before I'm submitting for approval. I hope things get better on your end. In the meantime, hang in there, stick to your guns, and save. ((BIG HUGS)) [emoji173]

I'm fairly new to the site as I'm still in the pre-op stage. I've had 3 of 6 insurance mandated nutritionist visits and am having my psych eval and pre-op extended nutrition class in Feb. Hoping to have all requirements met and ppwk submitted in April for approval. If approved, I will not be able to have the time off for surgery until very end of May or early June due to my work demands. Like many people I've read about on here, I'm ready for a change and sick and tired of being sick and tired. I've struggled with my weight most of my life and have spent more time trying to lose weight in my life than not. I am now at my heaviest and was diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes last year. My husband is 6'4" 195 lbs and has been pretty thin and fit most of his life. Though he knows my weight struggles and complicated relationship with food existed long before I met him 23 years ago, he has also witnessed my successes and disappointments since then. Last October I met with a bariatric surgeon my friend recommended and came home even more convinced that this was the right choice for me. I think when I told my husband I was going to pursue the idea and learn more, he went along with it perhaps not thinking I'd really go through with it. When I actually started my nutritionist visits in November he realized I was serious and the first question he asked was, "How much is this going to cost?" I cried at his response that he didn't care to learn more about the surgery or ask me questions about my well-being, but rather only showed concern for the bottom line. I told him this is now a LIFE SAVING decision for myself. It's not about vanity or just changing my life. I believe I MUST do this to SAVE MY LIFE! Of course I assured him insurance would hopefully approve me and cover most of it but that I'd budget for the anticipated out of pocket expenses in the meantime. I've kept him abreast of the little things the nutritionist is having me integrate monthly into my life and share with him tidbits about the procedure, things I read, etc. When I told him I'm now halfway through the 6 month waiting period, he replied, "So, you're still going to go through with it?" I told him of course that I had not changed my mind. He continues to ask me how this is going to be different than my other previous weight loss attempts... that if this is mainly restricting me from consuming calories then of course I'm going to lose weight and that I should just save myself the money and just restrict myself... he believes this is just a permanent, non-reversible way of restricting or starving myself for the rest of my life. I told him that eventually some people can go back to eating "normal" meaning not just having liquid diets and eating like birds for the rest of their lives. His reply, "Well, isn't that why you're getting it?! So, you CAN'T eat NORMAL? Isn't that what got you to where you are in the first place?" *SIGH* Now, I have to say my husband really does sound like a jerk. Really, he's not in any other way. It's just he lacks the ability to understand weight struggles and needs to work on emotional tact sometimes. I know he loves me and wants me to be healthy. I think it does bother him that I'm not as active as him and he really doesn't believe that I'm "big enough" to need bariatric surgery. I assured him he has NO idea how bad it is... I informed him that BMI 40 is considered morbid obesity and I am at 39 WITH diabetes... I'm a ticking time bomb. I also told him he has absolutely NO IDEA how deeply I hate myself right now. I hate how I look and feel. I've hated it for years. Even the evening I went for the bariatric surgery consult, I about cried. One of my friends who was sleeved 1.5 years ago came with me for support. My husband comes from the annoying mindset of "if you want to lose weight just eat less, move more." I told him if food/weight issues were that simple then a lot of people wouldn't struggle with it. He's the type of person that moans and groans when he sees weight loss shows - he just can't understand how/why someone would let themselves get to that point. I have my pre-op nutrition class on Feb. 18th. I told him he is welcome to come if he's interested, otherwise it's not mandated that he join me. Part of me wants him to come to show support but the other part of me doesn't because I think he's just going to be critical of it all and then he's going to become the food police on me post surgery. After spending "all this money" on these consults (that aren't covered by my insurance) and paying the difference my insurance doesn't pay, I fear my husband is going to ride my @ss for the rest of my life about everything I put in my mouth. Last night I gave him a great article about WLS I asked him to read. It explained how it's used as a tool, how it's not a magic bullet, the different procedures, and why bariatric surgeries are different than just cutting calories, exercising and dieting alone. It discussed how for sleeve/bypass patients it reduces the feeling of hunger by removing the hunger hormone and can often times reset someone "set point" and metabolic rate. All things I've already talked to my husband about... sometimes to a deaf or disbelieving ear. He said, "If I read this article do I still have to go to the class with you in Feb?" *rolling eyes* I told him he didn't have to go to the class at all - that was up to him. But, I would appreciate him reading the article because it was well written and I think helped explain a lot. He only read half the article last night... Hopefully he'll finish it tonight. *fingers crossed* I am still planning on moving forward with my surgery... praying I get approved... planning to start attending the support groups in February that my surgeon's office offers... it just makes me sad that my husband's lack of support, understanding, ignorance, etc. etc. is the thing that is making me hesitate ever so slightly. Can I handle someone being the food police on me for the rest of my life? Will he ever come around? I'm hopeful once he sees me be successful post-op, regain my physical/emotional/mental happiness, become more active with him and the kids, etc that he will move past it all and agree that it certainly saved my life. My weight struggles are so very personal to me and run so deep that I rarely discuss my weight issues with anyone. I am literally brought to tears at the mere mention of it and the "F" word to me is "FAT." I HATE that word!! Because of all this, I don't want to tell my family or my husband's family about the surgery until it is over and even then if I could avoid it coming up I would. My family and husband's family also are of the same mindset and would easily think "it's the easy way out" or a "copout." Sorry for the rant... needed to get it out... and I know there are others out there with similar people in their circles or have lacked support where they wanted it most.

Wow! Yay, you! I'm hoping to have surgery in May/June... seeing pictures look yours and reading success stories is so inspiring. You'll be at your goal before you know it!

Thank you, JRMoseley. What you wrote hits the nail on the head. My husband is indeed passive aggressive and you are right in that usually in marriage each person has flaws that might frustrate the other... ground rules help and support and love being offered to each other even if the one person doesn't fully understand. I love the way you put things. Much appreciated!

Is that true?! Wow, I've been doing a lot of research on bariatric surgery but haven't come across any marriage stats yet... That's sad to hear. :-/

Thank you, FluffyChix! I've seen on on many of the boards I've visited. Thanks for your positivity and always lending an encouraging word! I'm definitely going to keep swimmin'!

Thank you, mellah124. Sorry it was so long... just had to get it off my chest and I knew people here would be supportive and encouraging. Congrats on your weight loss thus far and even more on being able to eliminate 2 of your 3 diabetes meds! I am confident you'll be able to eliminate the last one at goal!

Hi, Creekimp13. Thanks for your reply. My husband is a good enough guy and we've been through a lot in 23 years. I agree his response and support in this matter leave a lot to be desired. I keep trying to remind myself I don't need his approval and that I need to just take charge of my own health and life whether he understands now or not. I think he will come around once I am through the surgery, recovery, and he sees how much it will change/save my life. I keep trying to stress to him that this is now a life saving procedure for me. Even if he doesn't come around, I doubt I will regret the decision. From all I've read of people's struggles and successes, it seems the reasons I'm in this journey far outweigh the reasons not to be... aside from potentially putting my diabetes in remission, regaining my physical health to be able to be more active and participate in life, regaining my emotional/mental health, etc. I want to stop watching my family from the sidelines. I shower my kids with love and try to support them in every way but I don't do a lot of physical activities with them because I feel terrible and I'm out of shape. I want to be a better mom for them. I want to show them that we are all worth taking care of ourselves, loving ourselves, and should strive to be happy and healthy. Congrats on your success so far... all the best to you as you continue on your journey. Thanks for being present on this online support forum.

Thank you, blizair09. Your candid, well-articulated comment and encouragement are so greatly appreciated! And, your success and dedication to your healthier lifestyle is inspiring. To answer your question, my husband will not flip out when I get smaller. In the 23 years we've been together I've lost large amounts of weight before on my own through exercise and healthier living... The last time even losing 50+ lbs and lowering my fat % from 42% to 17%. (It is hard to vividly remember how wonderfully healthy, happy, and confident I felt and to know I have since fallen a long way). He is not the jealous type, but he does definitely prefer when I'm slimmer, in better shape, and active. I do not fit the physical profile of the type of women he's usually attracted to and we've had our share of ups and down on that issue and my weight. Obviously, I've managed to regain my weight even with those previous successes which is why I'm now on this journey. I intend to proceed with my sleeve surgery (if I'm approved) and will just hope and pray he comes around (along with other family members). I will continue to seek support from my friend who had the procedure done, support groups, my best friend (who has not had surgery but is very supportive), and also encouraging BP participants like yourself. Congratulations on your success!! Thanks again for the positive response.

Katkatlady612... That sounds like a horrible, hurtful comment your cousin made. I'm sorry. I sometimes watch "Extreme Weight Loss" or "Fit to Fat to Fit Again." I find those both inspiring and the Fit to Fat to Fit show is interesting because personal fitness trainers purposely gain 40 - 70 lbs then have to work along side their "clients" to lose it and get fit again. The other day my husband happened to flip to "My 600 lb Life" and then I had to listen to him say, "Oh my gosh..." "Oh geez..." And just moaning and groaning as he watched the people on tv. Mind you, my husband is 6'4" and 200 lbs. He is totally tall, lean, and fit. He has never had a weight problem and he does not understand how complicated the struggle is. I said, "Why are you watching this??" I asked him to just change the channel and to stop watching because he just doesn't understand. It made me teary eyed to listen to his judgemental reactions and groans. (No, it is not easy going down this road with a husband who is skeptical of the process and thinks this time will be no different ,or that if it's just going to make me eat less then I should save myself the time, money, and pain and just eat less and move more). Like you, I do not have a tough turtle shell and my personal weight struggles and issues run deep.

Hi, Natasha! I'm in South Denver. I'm looking to get the sleeve done this June. I'm going through the 6 month of nutrition counseling, psych eval, and extended nutrition class my insurance requires presently. Hoping to get approval in April or May. I do not have any experience working with medicaid or your Dr., but I'm going through Dr. Frank Chae's office at Sky Ridge Medical. My friend had her sleeve done by him and his experience, credentials and recommendations are really great. When are you hoping to get your surgery? I'm new to Bariatric Pal as well. Seems like a very supportive resource from what I can tell. All the best!! Good luck in your journey.

Wow! Good work! You look beautiful and so happy. An inspiration to people like myself at the beginning of the journey. You got those last 25#! Thank you for sharing your progress. :-) Sent from my SM-N950U using BariatricPal mobile app

Sent from my SM-N950U using BariatricPal mobile app

Hi, Has. Like you, I started my 6 month waiting period in November. My insurance requires monthly visits with a nutritionist for 6 months along with an eval with a psychologist, a 5-hour extended nutrition class, and paperwork, 2 years of medical records, etc to submit for approval. I'm hoping to submit in April. My surgeon's office says it usually takes 2 wks to hear back. Hopefully I'll get approved. With my work schedule, the earliest I can get it done is early June. I'm eager and anxious at the same time. Would love to follow your journey and others on a similar timeline. All the best! Sent from my SM-N950U using BariatricPal mobile app