Creekimp13

So....anytime anyone admits to having a slip up.......the appropriate response is: OMG YOU'RE GOING TO DIE! I recognize nonsense when I see it. You just want your bad behavior validated. You're going to fail. Because see...in my mind...that's bullying. The OP was being honest....and got punished for it. Even after she asked people not to punish her. How the world dearly loves to humiliate a fat person. Just sayin..

is fear-mongering bullying? I certainly thought so when people were telling me I was taking unnecessary risks with my life having the surgery.

Fear is an interesting factor in this thread. People talk about their own personal fears justifying their responses to the OP. What if someone with a clotting disorder ran around to all the threads here saying "OMG DO NOT HAVE THIS SURGERY you COULD DIE! Don't be stupid, you're risking your LIFE!"? Would that poster be wrong? Nope...they have empirical evidence on their side...once in a blue moon, someone does die from a clot or other complication and it's absolutely tragic. Just exactly like...once in a very rare blue moon...someone has a negative consequence from an indulgence off their plan. So....is it helpful, or is it fear-mongering? Does anyone really believe the OP doesn't know better?

Here's an example of why I think this is bullying behavior....instead of well intended advice. There's a thread on here about a woman throwing up clots of blood. Almost no one responded. I did. I encouraged her to seek medical advice immediately. Then...there are posts where someone admits they've had a weak moment and eaten something high calorie...hoping for some encouragement....and the wrath of God rains down upon them like they're committing suicide. It's bullshit. It isn't about helping others, it's about feeling self righteous. If it was about helping others, the blood clot thread would have dozens of urgent replies. People who have been bullied often become bullies, and it's sad. Worse, they pick on those they secretly identify with. Fat shaming is the last safe prejudice. "It's for their own good" is not an excuse to be tone deaf and unkind.

Don't stress about this. If you're following instructions, you should be fine, regardless of what the scale says. My group's PA actually mentioned to me at my final presurg appointment that when she went through surgery, she didn't lose a pound on the presurgical diet. She said it's rare, but that if it happens to you, you shouldn't think you're broken...it does happen. Just make sure to follow instructions. It'll be ok:)

Your mom needs to work at getting her calories in. Takes time, but she'll get there. Starvation level calorie intake can exacerbate existing weakness. Encourage her to walk short distances frequently and rest as needed. Also encourage her to get her protein shakes in. Four ounces per hour, if you're awake 16 hours per day (8 hours sleep) allows you to get in up to 64 ounces of fluids per day. Encourage her to set a goal of drinking one little medicine cup full (of either clear liquid or protein drink) ..an ounce...every 15 minutes. The more she drinks, the easier drinking will become for her. She needs to walk frequently to prevent blood clots. My group recommends two small walks every hour (even just a small walk around the house, to the bathroom, etc). While blood clots occur more frequently 2-10 days after surgery, you're at risk for them for up to three months and need to keep moving to prevent them. Also, she should mention this weakness at her first post surgical check up. They might want to do a complete blood count, test her for anemia, and make sure the weakness isn't related to internal bleeding. Take it seriously and follow up with the doctor. She shouldn't be significantly weaker than she was pre-surgically at this point.

Look at you go, Sexypants! Congrats on the payoffs for all the hard work:)

Oh man that sucks. Insurance issues were my biggest nightmare, having had a similar ordeal when I tried to get surgery (and didn't) five years ago. Hubby is a contractor and his contract was picked up by another outfit who switched the insurance around unexpectedly after telling us we would keep the same insurance. This time, I even had stress dreams about the insurance calling it off at the last minute. But it went through with no issues. Just wanted to say hang in there, and I'm so sorry you have to deal with this nonsense. I hope it works out:)

OP, I get your fears...particularly if you have a clotting disorder. At the end of the day....what this surgery comes down to...is benefit -vs- risk. For now...continuing to attempt to diet might be your best choice, and it might not. Get a consultation with a hematologist about your specific blood issues. Run some tests. Talk about your comorbidities and ask that they help you to decide which side of benefit-vs-risk that bariatric surgery falls on for you. Also, if you decide to go through with it...a hematologist can give specific recommendations for the best strategy for you...to prevent a clot. (sometime they can even put clot catching filters in) Keep in mind that obesity related health concerns can kill you just as fast as a clot. Heart attacks, strokes, obesity related cancer....there are a lot of incentives for acting aggressively to correct obesity. That said, I don't know enough about your particular blood issue to give you good advice about the risk you personally carry. A hemotologist would. I think going for a consult would be the best way to make up your mind. Good luck!

Hmmm....you might want to look into this one a little more:) More than one third of people over 65 are obese.

Sip (ten little sips per ounce of fluid...get a medicine cup out and practice...they are TINY sips), suck (on the breathing thingy they give you to help clear your lungs and prevent pneumonia), stroll (walk as soon as you can and as often as you can). Sip. Suck. Stroll. Best wishes for a safe and effective procedure:)

My nutrionist has me on: Department store brand Children's Complete (equivalent to Flinstones Complete) chewables....2 per day 500mcg B12 (I get whatever's on sale on Amazon) B-50 B Complex (again, whatever's on sale works) 5000IU of Vitamin D (cause I'm deficient...and again, what's on sale works) And 600mg of Calcium CITRATE with D....twice a day (I buy a department store brand...buy one get one free) I would be very surprised if I spend over $300 per year.

I'm not a vegan, but I do like to balance my animal protein with plant protein. Mixing pea protein powder and brown rice protein powder makes a complete amino acid. Other idea... hemp protein powder, Chia seed protein powder, peanut butter powder Good luck!

I did not. But many, many people do:) Very common.

Adults who police other adults....unless they are seriously invested in the situation (spouse, child)...in my opinion are annoying, rude, and potentially bullying. Fat shaming is one of the last protected ugly prejudices. People can be unkind using "but it's for their own good" as an excuse for their unkindness. My significant other and my bestie don't police me, but they are extremely supportive and try to be helpful. There's a huge difference between "Should you be eating that?" and "What can I make that's on your diet so we can both enjoy it?" There's also a huge difference between advice that's given from a place of genuine love and concern...and advice that's given out of a sense of pious superiority or nastiness. Semantics matter.

My doc said in a pre-surg seminar that about once a week someone bursts into tears at the hospital and says they wish they hadn't had surgery. LOL. It can be emotional, stressful, scary...for a lot of folks.

Maybe consult your surgeon about sleeve to RNY? Phentermine worries me. The side effects, including the occasional death, heart attack, stroke, heart failure and psychosis....are pretty offputting to me. It does nothing to change your habits, so when you stop it...the weight comes back. (sorry, wish this weren't true) I think the thing to do is to talk to the docs again, work on diet, work on exercise....same old dance. I wish it could be easier. Believe me. I REALLY wish it were easier. Best wishes to you. Your post is brave and appreciated. PS...glad your Christmas outfits worked out:)

Ouch. Only thing to do is to talk to your doc about it. How long ago was your illness? I've thought about puking with my new sleeve and the idea scares me enough to be vigilant about my flu shot and use the little sanitizer wipes on all my grocery cart handles. So sorry this happened to you.

I might be easy....but this sleeve thing...is not. LOL:)

Been there, done it. The two weeks you're in right now...was the hardest part of the process for me. Worse than the surgery or recovery. (I'm probably in the minority on that, I had a very easy time with surgery) Hate to say this, but Day 3 was the worst for me. After that, I kinda gave up and soldiered on. Take it a day at a time, you'll make it:)

They have done research...lol. But different clinics have different objectives. (some health, some profit, some trying to get their clients as thin as possible as fast as possible to generate more business, some actually even want to practice good medicine and shoot for well researched outcomes) Different doctors pay attention to current research...differently...and bariatrics is an emerging science. Some doctors don't keep up with continuing education like they should, and for now there is no standard that forces the issue. There are a lot of practices that base their instructions on outdated and controversial ideas. We're sort of at the mercy of the slush pool of ideas currently. This will improve....eventually. Probably too late for us. LOL.

Carbs are not "bad for healing" per say. But if you are filling up on carbs and neglecting your protein, this could be a big problem. Our protein goals protect us from muscle wasting (including our heart, which is a muscle). The other issue with carbs, particularly high glycemic carbs (carbs that hit the blood stream as sugar fast)...is that they call for more insulin....which can end up leaving a surplus of insulin in our blood...which then, makes us hungry again....it's a vicious cycle. Low glycemic carbs like oatmeal have a slower sugar uptake and result in more managable insulin levels...and result in less hunger.

I think there are two general objections to fruit....that the fructose could cause dumping syndrome, and peels and seeds are too fibrous for your healing tummy and could cause problems (even when blended). Also...the calories could fill you up when you need protein to protect your muscles and organs. Honestly...I think if you talked to your doc/nutritionist about this particular shake working better for you....you might get their blessing. It's a good idea to be honest about what you're doing and at least listen to their input. I would not do any seeded fruit, particularly berries with tiny gritty seeds like strawberries...because thinking about the pouch healing...I think those seeds could get stuck in the suture line and cause problems. Most of the rules the groups put together have good reasons behind them....but I know sometimes individuals need a little individual adjustment due to tolerance issues. I think you'll find most docs/nutritionists will be empathetic and try to work with you. It's what they're there for...communicate with them. Keep in mind that fruit=sugar. Sugar isn't the devil...but it's something we have to be careful of, particularly early in the process. My diet allowed cream of wheat and oatmeal very early, and yogurt clearly has lactose...so sugars aren't exactly banned....but fructose (fruit sugar) is metabolized very fast....so the danger of dumping syndrome on fruit is real.

Congrats! Cleveland Clinic is awesome. You're in excellent hands. Best wishes on a healthy successful procedure:)

Stress can cause your blood sugar to go up. Major surgery is stressful...physically and emotionally. Consult your doctor on how to handle this...it's what he/she is there for:) Also, nice work documenting and checking your sugar....that's really helpful. Make sure to record the time, what you're eating, and any exercise you're getting, too. Your doctor will appreciate this in guiding you.