amy6152

Thank you for the words of encouragement and suggestions. They really helped! I was completely back on program yesterday for the first time in a week or so, and the scale went down today. Feeling much better, and remembering I need to take care of MYSELF so I can take care of MY KIDS.

I've been playing ostrich for a while now. Just came back to post tonight and found this old thread of mine, so figured I'd update it with, well, an update all-around.
Back in February, I thought my daughter (who's twelve and dealing with a chronic pain syndrome) was going to start receiving treatment soon at a top children's hospital. I was wrong. That was just an evaluation; she actually started the treatment program six days ago--some three months after that evaluation. Doing so required us to move five hours from home; my husband and two other kids are back home. That's an oversimplification, but let's go with it.
My older son was also dealing with debilitating mental health issues back then, which got worse before they got better. In early April, he told me his suicidal thoughts had become so intense he was afraid he couldn't handle them anymore, and we decided to do something radical--taking him three hours from home for 12 days for ketamine infusions for depression. The good news is, they helped tremendously. I truly believe he's going to be okay, which is HUGE.
The bad news is, my eating issues that I posted about in February never improved. I never improved them. I ate my stress away. Given that, I don't know that I've gained any weight. Maybe five pounds, maybe not, but my weight loss has AT LEAST completely stopped. As I said, I'm now living away from home, and I didn't even bring my scale. I am making an effort as of right this stinking moment to get back on track. With my daughter in this pain treatment program 40 hours a week, I'm finally free to help myself. I'm going to the YMCA tomorrow morning at 5:15, and I'm at least making an effort with my food. It's not good. Don't get me wrong. But it's better than it was. I'm also going to work. Did I mention, all this mess has meant I've done virtually no work since autumn, and I'm self-employed? My income is going to be 20% of what it was the year before. More stress.
I want to do well. I want to be healthy. But frankly, dealing with one kid in unbelievable pain for the past seven months and another who just wanted to die...Cheetos seemed completely reasonable for a while there. Sometimes they still do.
I'm back, and I'm trying. Good to be here.

My bras are too big, and so begins what I imagine will be a journey of boob and torso shrinkage that will cost me a bundle! An Amazon review clued me into bra extenders, so I plan to buy two bras that will fit me snugly right now, as well as two that are the NEXT size down, along with the bra extenders to make everything work along the way.
This got me wondering about tips and tricks others might have to minimize new clothing costs as we lose the weight. Obviously there are cheap places to buy clothing (consignment shops and Goodwill among them), but I'm really thinking about hacks. For example, is there some way you've found to make your too-big shirts look great? Maybe a clip of some kind, or a simple sewing technique? I don't know... Just throwing this one at the wall to see what sticks!!!

I have. Been trying to eat what I think is a reasonable amount of Protein (the half chicken breast, for example), then add fruits or vegetables. That's what my nutrition program says to do, anyway.

I'd been doing so well since my surgery, but the last two weeks have been brutal. My stress level's been high for months because my teenage son's struggling with mental health issues and been out of school since September, but I was managing to stay on program. (My work suffered, but that's another story.) Fast forward to a month ago, and my 11 year-old daughter has been diagnosed with a debilitating chronic pain syndrome no one in our town knows how to treat. I went into full mama bear mode, researching everything and reading medical journals and locating a treatment program some five hours away at one of the best children's hospitals in the country, but my daughter's getting worse by the DAY and sometimes sobs in what she says is ten out of ten pain. Finally got the call from the good hospital that they can see her in two weeks, but God only knows if that will be in-patient or driving back and forth all the time or WHAT. I'm grateful she got in and hopeful this make a difference and puts this beast into remission, at least for a while, but meanwhile my eating has gone into the toilet. There is no doubt in my mind I'm eating for comfort. None. Every day I try to get back on track and by late afternoon I'm crying uncle. I just had this surgery so what the heck am I doing? But I sit there in the moment and desperately try to think of something else I could do that would make me feel better, and there's NOTHING. Just nothing. One bit of good news, my son started back at school two days ago, so at least we're moving in the tunnel (even if I don't see any light yet) instead of camped out inside it. I don't know what I'm looking for posting here. I don't know what can change my behavior right now. Just throwing it out there to the universe!!!

Thank you for the words of encouragement and suggestions. They really helped! I was completely back on program yesterday for the first time in a week or so, and the scale went down today. Feeling much better, and remembering I need to take care of MYSELF so I can take care of MY KIDS.

Thank you for the words of encouragement and suggestions. They really helped! I was completely back on program yesterday for the first time in a week or so, and the scale went down today. Feeling much better, and remembering I need to take care of MYSELF so I can take care of MY KIDS.

I had a terrible psych eval experience. Like you, I thought if I was sane and in charge of my life and making the decision for the right reasons, I'd be fine. WRONG. Not only did I fail, the therapist went up one side of me and down the other. It was awful. In hindsight, it had everything to do with her and zero to do with me. I spoke with the director of the bariatric program, but there was no budging, no second opinions permitted, and certainly no possibility the therapist was the one with the problem. It derailed my journey completely. I wasn't against therapy (God knows I have food issues or else I wouldn't be here), but the woman who did my psych evaluation wanted me to come back after a few months of therapy to see if I was "better". Such BS. I was so anxious about the idea of being judged by her again, I stopped going to therapy after a few sessions and really thought about whether or not I wanted this surgery. Just so happened, when I was really to get back on the path, it was 11 months since my psych eval. It expired after a year. I let it expire and redid it with a different therapist, who felt so sorry for me after my tale of woe she apologized and approved me saying, "I think you've been through enough already!"
My brother-in-law was going for his psych eval this summer and I told him exactly what Ed told you. LIE. Tell them what they want to hear. That's what he did, and he was approved on the first go-round. I will say, the extra YEAR it took me to get this surgery did give me an awful lot of time to think about it, and the changes required for it to really be successful. When I went for follow-up therapy, I chose to go to a therapist I'd seen years earlier for something else. Would you believe she'd had gastric bypass twelve years before, and in the two or three years since I'd last seen her, she'd gained about fifty pounds? That was the most valuable thing I got out of therapy. Staring at her and thinking I'd really have to change if I didn't want to follow in her footsteps.
I hope you find a way back on the path quickly, and with as little BS as possible!!

I had a terrible psych eval experience. Like you, I thought if I was sane and in charge of my life and making the decision for the right reasons, I'd be fine. WRONG. Not only did I fail, the therapist went up one side of me and down the other. It was awful. In hindsight, it had everything to do with her and zero to do with me. I spoke with the director of the bariatric program, but there was no budging, no second opinions permitted, and certainly no possibility the therapist was the one with the problem. It derailed my journey completely. I wasn't against therapy (God knows I have food issues or else I wouldn't be here), but the woman who did my psych evaluation wanted me to come back after a few months of therapy to see if I was "better". Such BS. I was so anxious about the idea of being judged by her again, I stopped going to therapy after a few sessions and really thought about whether or not I wanted this surgery. Just so happened, when I was really to get back on the path, it was 11 months since my psych eval. It expired after a year. I let it expire and redid it with a different therapist, who felt so sorry for me after my tale of woe she apologized and approved me saying, "I think you've been through enough already!"
My brother-in-law was going for his psych eval this summer and I told him exactly what Ed told you. LIE. Tell them what they want to hear. That's what he did, and he was approved on the first go-round. I will say, the extra YEAR it took me to get this surgery did give me an awful lot of time to think about it, and the changes required for it to really be successful. When I went for follow-up therapy, I chose to go to a therapist I'd seen years earlier for something else. Would you believe she'd had gastric bypass twelve years before, and in the two or three years since I'd last seen her, she'd gained about fifty pounds? That was the most valuable thing I got out of therapy. Staring at her and thinking I'd really have to change if I didn't want to follow in her footsteps.
I hope you find a way back on the path quickly, and with as little BS as possible!!

I had a terrible psych eval experience. Like you, I thought if I was sane and in charge of my life and making the decision for the right reasons, I'd be fine. WRONG. Not only did I fail, the therapist went up one side of me and down the other. It was awful. In hindsight, it had everything to do with her and zero to do with me. I spoke with the director of the bariatric program, but there was no budging, no second opinions permitted, and certainly no possibility the therapist was the one with the problem. It derailed my journey completely. I wasn't against therapy (God knows I have food issues or else I wouldn't be here), but the woman who did my psych evaluation wanted me to come back after a few months of therapy to see if I was "better". Such BS. I was so anxious about the idea of being judged by her again, I stopped going to therapy after a few sessions and really thought about whether or not I wanted this surgery. Just so happened, when I was really to get back on the path, it was 11 months since my psych eval. It expired after a year. I let it expire and redid it with a different therapist, who felt so sorry for me after my tale of woe she apologized and approved me saying, "I think you've been through enough already!"
My brother-in-law was going for his psych eval this summer and I told him exactly what Ed told you. LIE. Tell them what they want to hear. That's what he did, and he was approved on the first go-round. I will say, the extra YEAR it took me to get this surgery did give me an awful lot of time to think about it, and the changes required for it to really be successful. When I went for follow-up therapy, I chose to go to a therapist I'd seen years earlier for something else. Would you believe she'd had gastric bypass twelve years before, and in the two or three years since I'd last seen her, she'd gained about fifty pounds? That was the most valuable thing I got out of therapy. Staring at her and thinking I'd really have to change if I didn't want to follow in her footsteps.
I hope you find a way back on the path quickly, and with as little BS as possible!!

I had a terrible psych eval experience. Like you, I thought if I was sane and in charge of my life and making the decision for the right reasons, I'd be fine. WRONG. Not only did I fail, the therapist went up one side of me and down the other. It was awful. In hindsight, it had everything to do with her and zero to do with me. I spoke with the director of the bariatric program, but there was no budging, no second opinions permitted, and certainly no possibility the therapist was the one with the problem. It derailed my journey completely. I wasn't against therapy (God knows I have food issues or else I wouldn't be here), but the woman who did my psych evaluation wanted me to come back after a few months of therapy to see if I was "better". Such BS. I was so anxious about the idea of being judged by her again, I stopped going to therapy after a few sessions and really thought about whether or not I wanted this surgery. Just so happened, when I was really to get back on the path, it was 11 months since my psych eval. It expired after a year. I let it expire and redid it with a different therapist, who felt so sorry for me after my tale of woe she apologized and approved me saying, "I think you've been through enough already!"
My brother-in-law was going for his psych eval this summer and I told him exactly what Ed told you. LIE. Tell them what they want to hear. That's what he did, and he was approved on the first go-round. I will say, the extra YEAR it took me to get this surgery did give me an awful lot of time to think about it, and the changes required for it to really be successful. When I went for follow-up therapy, I chose to go to a therapist I'd seen years earlier for something else. Would you believe she'd had gastric bypass twelve years before, and in the two or three years since I'd last seen her, she'd gained about fifty pounds? That was the most valuable thing I got out of therapy. Staring at her and thinking I'd really have to change if I didn't want to follow in her footsteps.
I hope you find a way back on the path quickly, and with as little BS as possible!!

I had a terrible psych eval experience. Like you, I thought if I was sane and in charge of my life and making the decision for the right reasons, I'd be fine. WRONG. Not only did I fail, the therapist went up one side of me and down the other. It was awful. In hindsight, it had everything to do with her and zero to do with me. I spoke with the director of the bariatric program, but there was no budging, no second opinions permitted, and certainly no possibility the therapist was the one with the problem. It derailed my journey completely. I wasn't against therapy (God knows I have food issues or else I wouldn't be here), but the woman who did my psych evaluation wanted me to come back after a few months of therapy to see if I was "better". Such BS. I was so anxious about the idea of being judged by her again, I stopped going to therapy after a few sessions and really thought about whether or not I wanted this surgery. Just so happened, when I was really to get back on the path, it was 11 months since my psych eval. It expired after a year. I let it expire and redid it with a different therapist, who felt so sorry for me after my tale of woe she apologized and approved me saying, "I think you've been through enough already!"
My brother-in-law was going for his psych eval this summer and I told him exactly what Ed told you. LIE. Tell them what they want to hear. That's what he did, and he was approved on the first go-round. I will say, the extra YEAR it took me to get this surgery did give me an awful lot of time to think about it, and the changes required for it to really be successful. When I went for follow-up therapy, I chose to go to a therapist I'd seen years earlier for something else. Would you believe she'd had gastric bypass twelve years before, and in the two or three years since I'd last seen her, she'd gained about fifty pounds? That was the most valuable thing I got out of therapy. Staring at her and thinking I'd really have to change if I didn't want to follow in her footsteps.
I hope you find a way back on the path quickly, and with as little BS as possible!!

I had a terrible psych eval experience. Like you, I thought if I was sane and in charge of my life and making the decision for the right reasons, I'd be fine. WRONG. Not only did I fail, the therapist went up one side of me and down the other. It was awful. In hindsight, it had everything to do with her and zero to do with me. I spoke with the director of the bariatric program, but there was no budging, no second opinions permitted, and certainly no possibility the therapist was the one with the problem. It derailed my journey completely. I wasn't against therapy (God knows I have food issues or else I wouldn't be here), but the woman who did my psych evaluation wanted me to come back after a few months of therapy to see if I was "better". Such BS. I was so anxious about the idea of being judged by her again, I stopped going to therapy after a few sessions and really thought about whether or not I wanted this surgery. Just so happened, when I was really to get back on the path, it was 11 months since my psych eval. It expired after a year. I let it expire and redid it with a different therapist, who felt so sorry for me after my tale of woe she apologized and approved me saying, "I think you've been through enough already!"
My brother-in-law was going for his psych eval this summer and I told him exactly what Ed told you. LIE. Tell them what they want to hear. That's what he did, and he was approved on the first go-round. I will say, the extra YEAR it took me to get this surgery did give me an awful lot of time to think about it, and the changes required for it to really be successful. When I went for follow-up therapy, I chose to go to a therapist I'd seen years earlier for something else. Would you believe she'd had gastric bypass twelve years before, and in the two or three years since I'd last seen her, she'd gained about fifty pounds? That was the most valuable thing I got out of therapy. Staring at her and thinking I'd really have to change if I didn't want to follow in her footsteps.
I hope you find a way back on the path quickly, and with as little BS as possible!!

I'd been doing so well since my surgery, but the last two weeks have been brutal. My stress level's been high for months because my teenage son's struggling with mental health issues and been out of school since September, but I was managing to stay on program. (My work suffered, but that's another story.) Fast forward to a month ago, and my 11 year-old daughter has been diagnosed with a debilitating chronic pain syndrome no one in our town knows how to treat. I went into full mama bear mode, researching everything and reading medical journals and locating a treatment program some five hours away at one of the best children's hospitals in the country, but my daughter's getting worse by the DAY and sometimes sobs in what she says is ten out of ten pain. Finally got the call from the good hospital that they can see her in two weeks, but God only knows if that will be in-patient or driving back and forth all the time or WHAT. I'm grateful she got in and hopeful this make a difference and puts this beast into remission, at least for a while, but meanwhile my eating has gone into the toilet. There is no doubt in my mind I'm eating for comfort. None. Every day I try to get back on track and by late afternoon I'm crying uncle. I just had this surgery so what the heck am I doing? But I sit there in the moment and desperately try to think of something else I could do that would make me feel better, and there's NOTHING. Just nothing. One bit of good news, my son started back at school two days ago, so at least we're moving in the tunnel (even if I don't see any light yet) instead of camped out inside it. I don't know what I'm looking for posting here. I don't know what can change my behavior right now. Just throwing it out there to the universe!!!

I'd been doing so well since my surgery, but the last two weeks have been brutal. My stress level's been high for months because my teenage son's struggling with mental health issues and been out of school since September, but I was managing to stay on program. (My work suffered, but that's another story.) Fast forward to a month ago, and my 11 year-old daughter has been diagnosed with a debilitating chronic pain syndrome no one in our town knows how to treat. I went into full mama bear mode, researching everything and reading medical journals and locating a treatment program some five hours away at one of the best children's hospitals in the country, but my daughter's getting worse by the DAY and sometimes sobs in what she says is ten out of ten pain. Finally got the call from the good hospital that they can see her in two weeks, but God only knows if that will be in-patient or driving back and forth all the time or WHAT. I'm grateful she got in and hopeful this make a difference and puts this beast into remission, at least for a while, but meanwhile my eating has gone into the toilet. There is no doubt in my mind I'm eating for comfort. None. Every day I try to get back on track and by late afternoon I'm crying uncle. I just had this surgery so what the heck am I doing? But I sit there in the moment and desperately try to think of something else I could do that would make me feel better, and there's NOTHING. Just nothing. One bit of good news, my son started back at school two days ago, so at least we're moving in the tunnel (even if I don't see any light yet) instead of camped out inside it. I don't know what I'm looking for posting here. I don't know what can change my behavior right now. Just throwing it out there to the universe!!!

And although I haven't stalled as of yet, on 1430 calories from my TPN, yeah THAT MANY- My Body Jalopy🚕is barely chugging along the weight loss trail. 2 pounds a month between December 18- January 15, praying I will get out of this idle-ing and my weight loss deferred will resume because I wanted it all, I wanted to be HEALTHY and THIN, not one or the other.😖

I know stalls are common, but I'm just over a week into my first and quietly weeping in a corner. I actually gained weight the last two days, which is super sucky and not at all justified based on what I've been eating!!
Which brings me to my question. Do you change your eating to break the stall, or stay the course and toss the scale in the garbage? Is a stall indicative of a problem, or is it just a normal bump in the road? I'm sure it CAN BE indicative of a problem, but is it always?
After gaining yesterday and today, I found myself being hypercritical of everything I put in my mouth. Yesterday I was counting calories like it was my job, leaving me horrified when I saw I was at 1,500. That sounds like a lot, but I've been following the nutrition guidelines and losing weight like a champ until now. Today I tried to eat less, but I spent the whole day preoccupied by food and seriously hungry. Not head hungry. Actual, physical hunger. Then I would eat something, which meant I ate more times than I normally do today, and probably didn't change my calorie intake much at all. * sob *
Thoughts??

Here's a link to mine. Compared to others on here, my hospital seems to move at a snail's pace, but it worked out well for me. https://www.urmc.rochester.edu/highland/bariatric-surgery-center/life-after-surgery/bariatric-diets.aspx

My hospital takes your gallbladder out at the same time they do the sleeve (if necessary), not in two separate operations. I had it done this way. When I googled my surgeon, I found he'd actually authored a journal article on how this is safe and effective (a few years ago). Didn't realize anyone was still doing them separately, but maybe my guy isn't he norm? I was glad to have it all done in one go.

As of today's weigh in, I reached a mini goal that I had set for myself; I am officially down 200+ pounds! I'm so happy!

Here's a link to mine. Compared to others on here, my hospital seems to move at a snail's pace, but it worked out well for me. https://www.urmc.rochester.edu/highland/bariatric-surgery-center/life-after-surgery/bariatric-diets.aspx

I was debating whether or not to post about this, as I haven't seen a lot of screw-ups on these pages, but I've got a doozy. I'm five and a half weeks out. I've been following my (very restrictive) diet to the letter almost all the time. My only deviations were a little Thanksgiving stuffing and some regular cheese at a party, where I'd brought deviled eggs for myself but didn't plan on being there so long and DO YOU KNOW THERE'S A LIMIT TO HOW MANY FREAKING DEVILED EGGS A PERSON CAN EAT IN FIVE HOURS? Lesson learned on that one. Next party I brought something I could live off for a year. Holiday parties everywhere. Anyway, the Cookies. So, yesterday was a crap-tastic day. A member of my immediate family is struggling with mental health issues and let's just say everything came to a nice sharp point yesterday morning. I was wound up tight, and it just so happened I had "make cookies" on my calendar for a cookie exchange this weekend. In hindsight this is laughable, but in the moment I truly thought I was being proactive and getting those cookies made a day or two early, and wow, am I rocking this mom thing. Fast forward several hours and I can provide you with the following truths. One, I was making those cookies to eat because I was emotionally devastated. Two, my sleeve can hold far more cookies than I would have thought possible from the meager amounts of chicken that manage to fill me up. Three, there IS such a thing as dumping syndrome for sleevers, and it's a horrible experience. And four, it's amazing how quick your brain can be to jump from "really bad day and a subsequent bad choice" to "I'm a complete failure and I'm never going to be able to do this." So there. Those are the highlights of the cookie incident. I went to bed early, feeling so sick and so darn sorry for myself. What a loser! I almost deleted that sentence. I'm feeling some compassion toward the me of yesterday, and I know I'm not a loser. I know one mistake does not the future make, and I also know there will be others. But man, that was hard. It was hard to live with in the moment, and afterwards. It makes me think twice about even going to the stupid cookie exchange. The situation at home is ongoing and my stress level has been hard to manage. I'll meet the mom for coffee instead, explain I just wasn't able to make that particular holiday party, or just not take any cookies home with me and ignore the whining of my children. Ugh. I hate all of these options. I think to really be successful through this holiday season, I have to control WHAT'S IN MY HOUSE. I can go to a party or a family gathering and eat something that's not "on the list", but I can't bring it home. That's me. That's where I am, and what I have to do. Here's hoping the kids will understand.

This is 100% true - but impossible to follow. LOL. I weigh every.single.day. Sometimes I look at the scale and I'm like... naw... I'm not falling for your tricks today. But then I'm like... I MUST KNOW. And cave.
On the plus side, I am down a pound this morning. HA. *adjusts ticker by one pound*

PATIENCE IS MY LEAST FAVORITE VIRTUE, D*MMIT.

I use the Baritastic app for Protein. It has a built in counter for Water, too, and reminders you can setup for Vitamins, though I actually created a widget on my phone with a checklist for my vitamins (from my Business Calendar app), so it's staring me in the face every time I pick up the device. It was a pain to setup, but I love how it works and that it repopulates every day.