Todd_196

First and foremost, I'm not going to preach abstinence, we are all adults and can make our own decisions.
For me, apparently, I'm not an adult enough to be responsible. I've let alcohol take over, I drink daily and I've gained weight back.
My spiral started around 4 years ago and has progressed steadily. Until recently, I was in control. I could drink and be ok. I would get drunk and know what happened the next day.
Now however, I will get drunk and can't remember a thing. The next day I have massive brain fog, can't concentrate, can't orate correctly, I feel like crap, have the shakes etc. To be clear, I never leave my house and drive. I worry however that it could come to that.
My weight is making my back problem even more painful. My clothes are tight, I'm depressed, and it's just awful. I feel like it's groundhogs day every day. I say I'm going to stop and I last a few days and then I slip back.
However today I've made a decision to stop drinking entirely. I'm done. I'm not drinking ever again. I clearly can't control my self. I'm an addict with food and now alcohol.
Much like food did, booze will ruin my life if I continue. I'm going to join AA and clean my life up yet again.
Writing this is a first step for me. I'm not looking for pity, or to be chastised.
I need to be self shamed and admit what I am. I'm an alcoholic. However, I can change this, I will change this. I will be healthier soon, it will be hard but I'm going to get there.
So please, be careful with alcohol. We all spent a lot of time and money to say nothing of the physical and mental pain we've been through, don't throw it away.
Sent from my Pixel 7 Pro using BariatricPal mobile app

It's been a much better week even though I've drank a little bit.

I'm not proud of it and I'm actually very angry with myself. However, the upside to it was that I didn't get drunk and black out.

I've realized too that I need to go to therapy, I still struggle with many things in my life. But I recognize that and I'm willing to take that head on. I have an appointment with my therapist next week to get back on track.

I've also been eating much differently than I have been as of late. I'm back to mostly Protein and very low carbs.

I've been walking daily, even though it's only for about a mile or so it's still better than sitting around. My energy level is rising and I'm putting more thought into what I'm doing physically, mentally and nutritionally.

Thanks to all of you that have given encouragement and shown concern. I appreciate it more than you may know.

I've let a lot of people down as of late, most notably myself, and know that people actually care is refreshing and empowering. So thank you!

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It's been a much better week even though I've drank a little bit.

I'm not proud of it and I'm actually very angry with myself. However, the upside to it was that I didn't get drunk and black out.

I've realized too that I need to go to therapy, I still struggle with many things in my life. But I recognize that and I'm willing to take that head on. I have an appointment with my therapist next week to get back on track.

I've also been eating much differently than I have been as of late. I'm back to mostly Protein and very low carbs.

I've been walking daily, even though it's only for about a mile or so it's still better than sitting around. My energy level is rising and I'm putting more thought into what I'm doing physically, mentally and nutritionally.

Thanks to all of you that have given encouragement and shown concern. I appreciate it more than you may know.

I've let a lot of people down as of late, most notably myself, and know that people actually care is refreshing and empowering. So thank you!

Sent from my Pixel 7 Pro using BariatricPal mobile app

It's been a much better week even though I've drank a little bit.

I'm not proud of it and I'm actually very angry with myself. However, the upside to it was that I didn't get drunk and black out.

I've realized too that I need to go to therapy, I still struggle with many things in my life. But I recognize that and I'm willing to take that head on. I have an appointment with my therapist next week to get back on track.

I've also been eating much differently than I have been as of late. I'm back to mostly Protein and very low carbs.

I've been walking daily, even though it's only for about a mile or so it's still better than sitting around. My energy level is rising and I'm putting more thought into what I'm doing physically, mentally and nutritionally.

Thanks to all of you that have given encouragement and shown concern. I appreciate it more than you may know.

I've let a lot of people down as of late, most notably myself, and know that people actually care is refreshing and empowering. So thank you!

Sent from my Pixel 7 Pro using BariatricPal mobile app

First and foremost, I'm not going to preach abstinence, we are all adults and can make our own decisions.
For me, apparently, I'm not an adult enough to be responsible. I've let alcohol take over, I drink daily and I've gained weight back.
My spiral started around 4 years ago and has progressed steadily. Until recently, I was in control. I could drink and be ok. I would get drunk and know what happened the next day.
Now however, I will get drunk and can't remember a thing. The next day I have massive brain fog, can't concentrate, can't orate correctly, I feel like crap, have the shakes etc. To be clear, I never leave my house and drive. I worry however that it could come to that.
My weight is making my back problem even more painful. My clothes are tight, I'm depressed, and it's just awful. I feel like it's groundhogs day every day. I say I'm going to stop and I last a few days and then I slip back.
However today I've made a decision to stop drinking entirely. I'm done. I'm not drinking ever again. I clearly can't control my self. I'm an addict with food and now alcohol.
Much like food did, booze will ruin my life if I continue. I'm going to join AA and clean my life up yet again.
Writing this is a first step for me. I'm not looking for pity, or to be chastised.
I need to be self shamed and admit what I am. I'm an alcoholic. However, I can change this, I will change this. I will be healthier soon, it will be hard but I'm going to get there.
So please, be careful with alcohol. We all spent a lot of time and money to say nothing of the physical and mental pain we've been through, don't throw it away.
Sent from my Pixel 7 Pro using BariatricPal mobile app

Good job! I'm not going to say the hardest part is over, because it's not addiction for a lot of people is a continual struggle. What I will say is that alcohol is a depressant, so by giving it up it could effect your life in so many ways for the better. Less depression means more happiness, more willingness to interact with people, more ability to workout and want to take care of yourself. All things to help in your sobriety and with your weight loss journey. Good luck to you in this time of change; change is never easy, but it's worth it.

@Todd_196 Thank you for being brave and sharing this. As another guy that who has ups and downs in this area, I appreciate it. Alcohol is so tricky after these surgeries. I am very proud of you!

This is one thing I look out for all the time. I am 3.5 years into recovery and not had a drink of alcohol since 8/11/2018 but california sober got me for awhile. Got really real and I am worried about this but learned during pre surgery **** that it happens, and is real so I stay very diligent. Keep up the good work, the first step is always the hardest.

First and foremost, I'm not going to preach abstinence, we are all adults and can make our own decisions.
For me, apparently, I'm not an adult enough to be responsible. I've let alcohol take over, I drink daily and I've gained weight back.
My spiral started around 4 years ago and has progressed steadily. Until recently, I was in control. I could drink and be ok. I would get drunk and know what happened the next day.
Now however, I will get drunk and can't remember a thing. The next day I have massive brain fog, can't concentrate, can't orate correctly, I feel like crap, have the shakes etc. To be clear, I never leave my house and drive. I worry however that it could come to that.
My weight is making my back problem even more painful. My clothes are tight, I'm depressed, and it's just awful. I feel like it's groundhogs day every day. I say I'm going to stop and I last a few days and then I slip back.
However today I've made a decision to stop drinking entirely. I'm done. I'm not drinking ever again. I clearly can't control my self. I'm an addict with food and now alcohol.
Much like food did, booze will ruin my life if I continue. I'm going to join AA and clean my life up yet again.
Writing this is a first step for me. I'm not looking for pity, or to be chastised.
I need to be self shamed and admit what I am. I'm an alcoholic. However, I can change this, I will change this. I will be healthier soon, it will be hard but I'm going to get there.
So please, be careful with alcohol. We all spent a lot of time and money to say nothing of the physical and mental pain we've been through, don't throw it away.
Sent from my Pixel 7 Pro using BariatricPal mobile app

First and foremost, I'm not going to preach abstinence, we are all adults and can make our own decisions.
For me, apparently, I'm not an adult enough to be responsible. I've let alcohol take over, I drink daily and I've gained weight back.
My spiral started around 4 years ago and has progressed steadily. Until recently, I was in control. I could drink and be ok. I would get drunk and know what happened the next day.
Now however, I will get drunk and can't remember a thing. The next day I have massive brain fog, can't concentrate, can't orate correctly, I feel like crap, have the shakes etc. To be clear, I never leave my house and drive. I worry however that it could come to that.
My weight is making my back problem even more painful. My clothes are tight, I'm depressed, and it's just awful. I feel like it's groundhogs day every day. I say I'm going to stop and I last a few days and then I slip back.
However today I've made a decision to stop drinking entirely. I'm done. I'm not drinking ever again. I clearly can't control my self. I'm an addict with food and now alcohol.
Much like food did, booze will ruin my life if I continue. I'm going to join AA and clean my life up yet again.
Writing this is a first step for me. I'm not looking for pity, or to be chastised.
I need to be self shamed and admit what I am. I'm an alcoholic. However, I can change this, I will change this. I will be healthier soon, it will be hard but I'm going to get there.
So please, be careful with alcohol. We all spent a lot of time and money to say nothing of the physical and mental pain we've been through, don't throw it away.
Sent from my Pixel 7 Pro using BariatricPal mobile app

First and foremost, I'm not going to preach abstinence, we are all adults and can make our own decisions.
For me, apparently, I'm not an adult enough to be responsible. I've let alcohol take over, I drink daily and I've gained weight back.
My spiral started around 4 years ago and has progressed steadily. Until recently, I was in control. I could drink and be ok. I would get drunk and know what happened the next day.
Now however, I will get drunk and can't remember a thing. The next day I have massive brain fog, can't concentrate, can't orate correctly, I feel like crap, have the shakes etc. To be clear, I never leave my house and drive. I worry however that it could come to that.
My weight is making my back problem even more painful. My clothes are tight, I'm depressed, and it's just awful. I feel like it's groundhogs day every day. I say I'm going to stop and I last a few days and then I slip back.
However today I've made a decision to stop drinking entirely. I'm done. I'm not drinking ever again. I clearly can't control my self. I'm an addict with food and now alcohol.
Much like food did, booze will ruin my life if I continue. I'm going to join AA and clean my life up yet again.
Writing this is a first step for me. I'm not looking for pity, or to be chastised.
I need to be self shamed and admit what I am. I'm an alcoholic. However, I can change this, I will change this. I will be healthier soon, it will be hard but I'm going to get there.
So please, be careful with alcohol. We all spent a lot of time and money to say nothing of the physical and mental pain we've been through, don't throw it away.
Sent from my Pixel 7 Pro using BariatricPal mobile app

First and foremost, I'm not going to preach abstinence, we are all adults and can make our own decisions.
For me, apparently, I'm not an adult enough to be responsible. I've let alcohol take over, I drink daily and I've gained weight back.
My spiral started around 4 years ago and has progressed steadily. Until recently, I was in control. I could drink and be ok. I would get drunk and know what happened the next day.
Now however, I will get drunk and can't remember a thing. The next day I have massive brain fog, can't concentrate, can't orate correctly, I feel like crap, have the shakes etc. To be clear, I never leave my house and drive. I worry however that it could come to that.
My weight is making my back problem even more painful. My clothes are tight, I'm depressed, and it's just awful. I feel like it's groundhogs day every day. I say I'm going to stop and I last a few days and then I slip back.
However today I've made a decision to stop drinking entirely. I'm done. I'm not drinking ever again. I clearly can't control my self. I'm an addict with food and now alcohol.
Much like food did, booze will ruin my life if I continue. I'm going to join AA and clean my life up yet again.
Writing this is a first step for me. I'm not looking for pity, or to be chastised.
I need to be self shamed and admit what I am. I'm an alcoholic. However, I can change this, I will change this. I will be healthier soon, it will be hard but I'm going to get there.
So please, be careful with alcohol. We all spent a lot of time and money to say nothing of the physical and mental pain we've been through, don't throw it away.
Sent from my Pixel 7 Pro using BariatricPal mobile app

I'm sorry you're going through this, but I'm proud of you for being able to admit this and make the decision to change it. I worry about those that drink daily and don't moderate their alcohol consumption after the surgery. It's one thing to enjoy an occasional drink, it's another to drink daily (or multiple times per day). I really am impressed with your ability for self reflection and honesty. I really hope you're able to work through this. You took the first step today. Keep going, and good luck!!!

Todd, you have admitted that you are an alcoholic which is the first step. Hallelujah for you being able to do that. God bless you on your journey. My husband drank over 50 years. We just celebrated year 3 of his sobriety. It can be done. We are rooting and praying for you. Love, Teresa in Virginia

First and foremost, I'm not going to preach abstinence, we are all adults and can make our own decisions.
For me, apparently, I'm not an adult enough to be responsible. I've let alcohol take over, I drink daily and I've gained weight back.
My spiral started around 4 years ago and has progressed steadily. Until recently, I was in control. I could drink and be ok. I would get drunk and know what happened the next day.
Now however, I will get drunk and can't remember a thing. The next day I have massive brain fog, can't concentrate, can't orate correctly, I feel like crap, have the shakes etc. To be clear, I never leave my house and drive. I worry however that it could come to that.
My weight is making my back problem even more painful. My clothes are tight, I'm depressed, and it's just awful. I feel like it's groundhogs day every day. I say I'm going to stop and I last a few days and then I slip back.
However today I've made a decision to stop drinking entirely. I'm done. I'm not drinking ever again. I clearly can't control my self. I'm an addict with food and now alcohol.
Much like food did, booze will ruin my life if I continue. I'm going to join AA and clean my life up yet again.
Writing this is a first step for me. I'm not looking for pity, or to be chastised.
I need to be self shamed and admit what I am. I'm an alcoholic. However, I can change this, I will change this. I will be healthier soon, it will be hard but I'm going to get there.
So please, be careful with alcohol. We all spent a lot of time and money to say nothing of the physical and mental pain we've been through, don't throw it away.
Sent from my Pixel 7 Pro using BariatricPal mobile app

First and foremost, I'm not going to preach abstinence, we are all adults and can make our own decisions.
For me, apparently, I'm not an adult enough to be responsible. I've let alcohol take over, I drink daily and I've gained weight back.
My spiral started around 4 years ago and has progressed steadily. Until recently, I was in control. I could drink and be ok. I would get drunk and know what happened the next day.
Now however, I will get drunk and can't remember a thing. The next day I have massive brain fog, can't concentrate, can't orate correctly, I feel like crap, have the shakes etc. To be clear, I never leave my house and drive. I worry however that it could come to that.
My weight is making my back problem even more painful. My clothes are tight, I'm depressed, and it's just awful. I feel like it's groundhogs day every day. I say I'm going to stop and I last a few days and then I slip back.
However today I've made a decision to stop drinking entirely. I'm done. I'm not drinking ever again. I clearly can't control my self. I'm an addict with food and now alcohol.
Much like food did, booze will ruin my life if I continue. I'm going to join AA and clean my life up yet again.
Writing this is a first step for me. I'm not looking for pity, or to be chastised.
I need to be self shamed and admit what I am. I'm an alcoholic. However, I can change this, I will change this. I will be healthier soon, it will be hard but I'm going to get there.
So please, be careful with alcohol. We all spent a lot of time and money to say nothing of the physical and mental pain we've been through, don't throw it away.
Sent from my Pixel 7 Pro using BariatricPal mobile app

First and foremost, I'm not going to preach abstinence, we are all adults and can make our own decisions.
For me, apparently, I'm not an adult enough to be responsible. I've let alcohol take over, I drink daily and I've gained weight back.
My spiral started around 4 years ago and has progressed steadily. Until recently, I was in control. I could drink and be ok. I would get drunk and know what happened the next day.
Now however, I will get drunk and can't remember a thing. The next day I have massive brain fog, can't concentrate, can't orate correctly, I feel like crap, have the shakes etc. To be clear, I never leave my house and drive. I worry however that it could come to that.
My weight is making my back problem even more painful. My clothes are tight, I'm depressed, and it's just awful. I feel like it's groundhogs day every day. I say I'm going to stop and I last a few days and then I slip back.
However today I've made a decision to stop drinking entirely. I'm done. I'm not drinking ever again. I clearly can't control my self. I'm an addict with food and now alcohol.
Much like food did, booze will ruin my life if I continue. I'm going to join AA and clean my life up yet again.
Writing this is a first step for me. I'm not looking for pity, or to be chastised.
I need to be self shamed and admit what I am. I'm an alcoholic. However, I can change this, I will change this. I will be healthier soon, it will be hard but I'm going to get there.
So please, be careful with alcohol. We all spent a lot of time and money to say nothing of the physical and mental pain we've been through, don't throw it away.
Sent from my Pixel 7 Pro using BariatricPal mobile app

First and foremost, I'm not going to preach abstinence, we are all adults and can make our own decisions.
For me, apparently, I'm not an adult enough to be responsible. I've let alcohol take over, I drink daily and I've gained weight back.
My spiral started around 4 years ago and has progressed steadily. Until recently, I was in control. I could drink and be ok. I would get drunk and know what happened the next day.
Now however, I will get drunk and can't remember a thing. The next day I have massive brain fog, can't concentrate, can't orate correctly, I feel like crap, have the shakes etc. To be clear, I never leave my house and drive. I worry however that it could come to that.
My weight is making my back problem even more painful. My clothes are tight, I'm depressed, and it's just awful. I feel like it's groundhogs day every day. I say I'm going to stop and I last a few days and then I slip back.
However today I've made a decision to stop drinking entirely. I'm done. I'm not drinking ever again. I clearly can't control my self. I'm an addict with food and now alcohol.
Much like food did, booze will ruin my life if I continue. I'm going to join AA and clean my life up yet again.
Writing this is a first step for me. I'm not looking for pity, or to be chastised.
I need to be self shamed and admit what I am. I'm an alcoholic. However, I can change this, I will change this. I will be healthier soon, it will be hard but I'm going to get there.
So please, be careful with alcohol. We all spent a lot of time and money to say nothing of the physical and mental pain we've been through, don't throw it away.
Sent from my Pixel 7 Pro using BariatricPal mobile app

I found another app call lose it and they don't charge u and u could actually scan ur food and all that good stuff it gives u a little more stuff than fitness pal

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Is My Fitness Pal worth the money?
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Thanks for the suggestions everyone, I appreciate it.

Money is an issue so options are a bit limited. I've tried physical therapy at 3 different providers but it made things dramatically worse.

I've not done the pain management option yet, as I worry about my natural addictive personality taking over, food addiction is part of the reason I was/am overweight.

I'm currently looking for a counselor. I'm big on talking though things. Without getting on a soap box, I'm amazed at the expense, how many of the want to bring religion into it (I'm not overly religious) or even politics (their views not mine). I'm going to checkout some of the virtual counselors this week.

Basically, I feel like everything that I did and spent on getting thinner and healthier was for nought. Almost like the universe said "Yeah, that's cute, nice try!" and then changed the rules on my. I feel robbed of things.

I get it life happens but (as im.sure lots of you can understand) when you spend a lifetime being heavy and working through the ramifications of that, being picked on, not getting jobs, feeling unloved, trying desperately to not call unneeded attention to yourself and you finally find a way to "fit in" it sucks to have a setback.

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Have you looked at Holistic Medicine, Functional Medicine, Integrative Medicine or seeing Naturopathic doctor? As a healthcare provider I know that the current state of medicine is in shambles. Providers are burnt out and cannot care for their patients as well due to the demand of insurance companies and performance metrics. The healthcare industry is a business; patients have suffered and providers are emotionally bankrupt because of it. Productivity goals have made the level for care, and time to spend, and talk to & examine patients horrible. There has been a wave of healthcare professional leaving the constructs of the healthcare corporations and opting for lower pay, to get their lives back, care for patients and use their expertise to its highest potential. A lot of these top tier professionals are opting to go into holistic medicine/functional medicine. The providers have the freedom to help patients get to the root cause of their ailment. It would be worth it to give these providers a chance to look into your case. I know this has lowered your trust for healthcare professionals but give one of us the opportunity to gain your respect back. I want to encourage you to overcome all the limiting beliefs and not give up. Help is out there. There is someone who will hear you and has the skill and expertise to aid you in your recovery. Do not stop talking about this and do not stop looking for help. I know it may be hard to see right now but You Got This!

Tldr: fat guy got thin, chronic pain derailed him, now drinks and can’t move much, doc and therapist say suck it up. Feels lost and confused and has developed a slight booze issue, that thankfully is not a full blown problem, yet.
Not asking for sympathy or prayers, just want to know if anyone is going through something similar and how do you deal with it.
Hey everyone, I’m in a downward spiral here. The background is that I got my sleeve in 2018, lost about 100 lbs, got a new job with more more money, and I actually liked it, I felt awesome and was looking great.
Fast forward to present day. I’m currently living with chronic back pain, the result of injuries about 20-30 years ago. Coupled with arthritis in my spine and neck, late developmentof scoliosis. Daily pain is a 6-7 on the pain scale and 1-2 times a week it can get to 9-10 on the scale.
I still work for the same company but now work 100% from home, that part I love, but I no longer move as much and i can't travel like did. Honestly I can’t really, some days just showering and dressing is a challenge.
I used to play pickleball, take light hikes etc. All gone. I’ve been told I’m too young, 52, and my condition is not severe enough for surgery yet. I do stretching and some pain management drugs if I get to a point I can’t cope with the pain that day but mostly I suck it up and deal with it. I have turned to liquor as a crutch and ashamedly can be a nightly thing.
I’ve gained about 30 pounds back, I feel like a total failure and have lost my direction. I’ve talked with therapist, and doctors but kept being told, in short, “when live hands you lemons…”
Honestly, I feel like life has kicked me in the balls and told me to piss off. I started this journey to improve and heal my life. And now I feel that my opportunity is being taken away. The daily pain and slow stripping of my thinner life has been a real mind f**k.
I’ve been trying hard to get back on track and have had limited success but I try. But I’m tired, so tired of the struggle, it’s been nothing but since I was a kid.
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With a few minor differences, I probably could have written your post. In addition to the back pain from multiple herniated disks, I was having sciatica so bad that I needed a walker to even walk at all. This was a chronic condition that I lived with for over 30 years. It tended to get a bit better for a while, but I could go downhill really fast. When it was at its worst, I retreated into the bottle to make it through the day.
I agree with @The Greater Fool that if you have not worked with a Pain Management Specialist, it's worth a try. That said, they tend to focus on medical treatments (such as different pain medications, epidural steroid injections, nerve blocks, joint injections, radiofrequency ablation, etc.). Those may help you, but didn't do all that much for me. Before anyone asks, I tried 3 different pain management docs and over 25 different treatments and never got any lasting relief.
I don't say that to be discouraging! I mention it because I held out high hopes for pain management to be the "fix" for my pain. When it wasn't, I retreated even more into the bottle. I'd hate to see you have the same experience.
Because of that, in addition to pain management, I would encourage you to look into physical therapy, especially physical aquatic therapy, which should be available in most major population centers. I found this really made a big difference in my sciatica frequency, even if it didn't exactly eliminate the pain.
Other things to try include massage therapy (which I recommend via a physical therapy office, not a massage therapist as they will have more experience working with chronic pain patients), acupuncture & chiropractic care. Finally, don't neglect psychological therapy. Among other techniques, "Cognitive Behavior Therapy" can really help. Many people don't realize that pain is simply a sensation. It's our brains that actually determine how we respond to that sensation and CBT can help tremendously.
Bottom line, don't give up! There is no one-size-fits-all treatment, so you have to be your own advocate and continue to try things until you find what works for you.
I'm living proof it can be done.

I have not experienced this but this is my sons exact story, only he was never overweight until now because of the pain. Find a different doctor and therapist. Chronic pain is real and many drs just dont feel like it needs addressing. There are many things you can. Your first step is finding a pain managment clinic to help with your pain. Next stay away from the alcohol. There are lots of calories in most alcohol. Next track your calories again. Do what exercises you can, even if its chair exercises just to be able to move. Its very difficult with back pain. You can do this, but you need the help of drs willing to help you. If a dr has a cavalier attitude about your pain , that is not the right dr for you.