I don't know you guys of course, but I know that a lot of times a big part of a relationship is being fat together. Not only will your eating habits totally change, your body will too. He might think that you won't be attracted to him anymore when you shrink, and he might miss the times you share together with food as the center point. He could be feeling negatively judged by you--not that you're doing that--but you're judging being obese as bad (since you're getting the surgery), and therefore he might feel like you think HE is bad now. He also may not want to deal with his own issues with weight, but feels like he has to now.
If it were me, I would reassure him that though your habits might change some you will still love him no matter what. Let him know that you doing this doesn't change your opinion of him, and he doesn't need to do anything differently. Sometimes they just need some reassurance and validation, being obese is such a mental game!
Bariatric surgeon Duc Vuong, MD has a YouTube video titled, “Why You Should NOT Exercise After Weight Loss Surgery.” It is 27 mins long and very interesting. I also enjoy his other videos on YouTube.
U sound like me![emoji24] I had bypass on 9/13 and I've only lost 13lbs. What's supposed to be inspiring seeing all these posts about people dropping vast amounts of weight in a short timeframe is actually discouraging to those of us who aren't in that lucky bunch. I've been told, tho, that those lucky 'losers' may have a lot more weight to lose than us, or are starting at a higher weight than us, or perhaps they are exaggerating a bit. Who knows? Mainly, everyone's been telling me that comparing to others is unproductive, everyone's journey is different. I know....I just can't help seeing all those types of threads on here and feel defeated!!
I sent my whole food log to my NUT just yesterday, in fact, to see what she could tell me since I'm so frustrated with my slow weight loss. Turns out, there ARE a few things I need to address. So I agree with previous poster that u should also do this. What we think we're doing 100% right and accordding to plan may not be as close as we thought. For example, I was eating between 700-900 cals a day and getting a MINIMUM of 70g of Protein a day, often 90-120g. Turns out, my docs plan wants me at NO MORE THAN 600 cals a day, 80g max protein a day. And here i thought i was following the plan by the book! [emoji52]
I sympathize with u a million times over and wish u luck as the days, weeks, months continue on. I hope ur weight starts to pour off and u get to post the exciting news!! Take care!
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