AllisAngels428

I was banded April 10, 2008, and I have had great success with the Realize band. I had lost 166 pounds up until a few months ago. My weight started to creep back on because I know I got "relaxed" about my band. I was eating and doing things I KNOW I wasnt supposed to be doing, yet I still allowed myself to do it. Like the saying goes, old habits die hard. After I got married in 2010 the pressure of being in the beautiful wedding gown was gone, and well I got comfortable and let myself "slide" on things here and there. When I got married in October of 2010 I weight 195, and felt so GOOD about myself. Today as I type this my weight has gone back up to 250 pounds. For the last 7 weeks I have been on prednisone, aka "the devil's drug". Since I started the medication 7 weeks ago I have gained at least 25 pounds. If you have ever been on it then you know it makes your appetite go NUTS! The higher the dose the more ravenous you are. There have been days where I want to put ketchup on a shoe and just eat it! Thank GOD my Dr is weaning me off of the drug, and I hope it will be over soon. I do have a point, Im just taking a long time to get there, sorry. I feel like an oompa loompa since I have gained some weight back. Since all this madness began 7 weeks ago I have had two fills in my band because I had to have some Fluid removed due to being to tight. I am at 5.5 cc's now, and while I feel like I am getting full in a good amount of time I still feel like I am eating too much and I am in some ways out of control. I guess what I am saying is I feel like I have failed my band and myself, and that Im not sure what it is going to take to get me back to 195, so I can get to my ultimate goal weight of 145. I remind myself Ive done this before, and I can do it again. Why cant I get back on track? Why has my get up and go, gotten up and went?? Where is the motivation I once has that got me to onderland? Has anyone seen it? If so can you fedex it back to me? So is anyone else been in this situation and perhaps been able to find their way out and get motivated again? Does anyone have any words of wisdom for me? I am open to anything at this point. Thanks for reading!

I havent had a fill since April 10, 2009. 1 year to the date of my surgery. The first 100 pounds were easy, but the last 70 have been a hell of a struggle. I havent had a fill in well over 2 years now (realize band). I live in California now and I had my surgery in VA, so I dont have access tomy surgeon. I also paid cash for my surgery since my insurance wouldnt cover it.. My weight loss has hit a pleatu, big time. I blame myself because I know I have not been the best bander I can be, Ive kind of lost my motovation. I have another 50 pounds I want to lose, and I am struggling big time. So my questions is, should I go get a fill to get things going again? Honestly, I am lost and I have totally fallen off the wagon. This band is a life comittment, and I need to get back on track. Any input is welcome.... just feeling lost.

I was banded in April 2008 and so far I have lost 168 pounds. I havent had a fill since April 2009. Over the last six months or so I have been having heartburn/acid reflux. It went from every now and then to every day. Just drinking Water gave me heartburn, and still does. My family doctor ordered and upper GI for me and I went and had it done this morning. I have a hiatal hernia, something I never had pre lap band. The doctor doing the test said perhaps it is because my band is too tight, could this really be the reason? In the back of my mind I thought that maybe that would be the answer, the shocker was the hiatal hernia diagnosis. Has anyone heard of this, or has it happened to you? The doctor said the Fluid goes down my esoughagus, but then some of the fluid goes back up causing the gerd/reflux. Any thoughts on this? All input is welcome!

Diane: Thank you so much for sharing. Finally, someone who is going through and feeling the exact way I am. If I didnt know better, I would swear you are inside my head. I was banded April 2008, and to date I have lost 168 pounds (pre- band I was 363). The last year or so has been quite a struggle for me. I am 50 pounds away from my goal weight, and I just cant seem to get motivated again. I see old habits creeping back in slowly, and I dont want to excercise either. I havent drank soda since 2007, and in the last month I have had soda quite a few times. I know I am not supposed to drink it, so why am I? Today I had to have an upper GI done, I have been having some bad heartburn/gerd for the last 6 months or so. My family Dr said it would be a good idea to check it out and make sure all is well with my band and what not. Well... the Radiologist says that I have a hiatal hernia and he thinks my band is too tight. Oddly I wasnt surprised about his thought on my band being too tight, I thought that might be the reason as well. The surprise was the hital hernia, Ive never had one. I feel like it is all my fault. If I had just done something sooner, maybe I wouldnt have the hernia. Anyway I wanted to know how you keep yourself motivated. I need some words of wisdom, or maybe just a good swift kick in the butt. Thanks for sharing your story, Im happy to know there is someone else out there fighting the same war I am. Best of Luck to you! Alli

Hi my name is Alli, and I was banded on 4/10/2008. This April will mark my two year bandaversary. At this point I have lost 141 pounds. I have hit the wall though for many reasons. Last July I left my entire family and social network in Virginia and moved to San Diego, Ca. Needless to say the change has been very hard on me in so many ways. Ive lost about 20 pounds since we moved here in July 09, but since then I have been yo-yoing up and down with 5-10 pounds. I think my band is pretty well adjusted, I get full easily and I stay satisfied the normal amount of time. I think the real reason I am here is because I am alone. I feel like I dont have any support anymore. I dont work out like I was and I have been eating no no foods. I know everything I am supposed to be doing but I have fallen into such a deep depression about leaving what was my entire world. I need some guidance, a friend, someone to help me get back to losing weight. I wsnt to lose about another 80 pounds. Is there someone out there who can help me? I need and angel.

<sigh> I havent posted in awhile. Ive just been lurking and hiding out. So today I have finally had enough. For the last 2 weeks I have been very, very bad. I have been eating non band friendly items, and I feel so guilty for my behavior. I know old habits die hard, but it seems my old habits are creeping back into my life. Those bad habits mad me weighing 363 pounds at one time. Its been 5 months since I was banded, and Ive lost 46 pounds and many inches. I dont want to go backwards. I feel like if I get this out it will help. Ive been hiding what Im eating, which is what I use to do. Last week I had a blizzard from Dairy Queen not just once, I had 4. Not in the same day though. 4 days in a row. Ive been eating more than my 4 ounces and I know it. Ive also had some fried food which I know is a NO NO! To top it all off yesterday I had a HUGE slice of pizza and a small cherry pie. Im starting to think I have lost my mind. Im getting a fill on Monday, and I know that will help, but damn what is wrong with me. I was doing really good. I thought things were on track. I know I have had a great deal of changes in my life in the last few weeks, which may be the source of my eating. My boyfriend is moving in with me in a few weeks, and he is so very supportive of my band. I guess Im scared that when he comes I wont be able to have a "treat" every now and then. Ive also lied to him about the food Ive been eating in the last 2 weeks. Besides the guilt I just feel like Im going backwards instead of forward. I dont want to hide what Im eating, I dont want to have to be all hush hush about what I put in my mouth. Ive been so bad, and Im afraid I cant stop it. I know I need to come clean with my boyfriend about what Ive eaten. I guess if I didnt tell him then I didnt have to admit I was a failure and an addict. Does the food addiction ever get easier? For the most part I do ok during the day, its the night time that gets me. I come home, go to the gym, and by the time Im ready for dinner I just go nuts. I still also get cravings for all the things I shouldnt be consuming. Im scared for myself, and my band. I paid a lot of money to get healthy and I am sabotaging myself. Any words of wisdom out there? Thanks for reading.

I agree my feeling of restriction is that feeling if I eat one more bite its going to be coming back at me, and not in a good way. I feel very tight in my band, I can still feel the food in my esophogus, and I will hiccup if I had one bite too many. Restriction is great, but can be painful as hell too. Its hard to know when you will get it with some things. Today I had chicken chili and didnt feel restriction, but tonight I got 4 bites of shrimp scampi in and can really FEEL the restriction. Needless to say I didnt get 4 oz in. In fact, most meals since this last fill I dont get 4oz's in. My best advice to you is watch your bites, because just one small bite can be one small bit tooooooo many. Ohhhh thats when it all comes back to haunt you!!! Listen to your stomach....!!! Good Luck!!

Dr. Schroder did my lap band surgery. I love that man! I am 5 months out and I have lost 45 pounds! You will do great. The nurses at St Marys were wonderful and you will be home in no time!! Good luck to you!

So I did it. I ate 2 peices of pizza for lunch today. I let the craving win over. I am ashamed I did it. Once again I gave into gluttony. The pizza wasnt even that good. I dont get the same "feelings" I use to from eating that I did before being banded. I feel like Ive eaten a rock. No nothing feels stuck, but I just feel heavy. Ive been doing so good too. Im just dissapointed in myself. Im down 40 pounds, and I feel like I am at a stand still. Ive tried to shake things up and change up my routine. Im at a loss, and Im just feeling guilty about what I just consumed. I thought I had this head hunger craving thing taken care of, it seems that it has creeped back up on me. I guess its back to reality tonight for dinner. Who do I think I am? I keep having to tell myself you are a fat girl in recovery, you cant allow those feelings to take you over. Look what happens when you do! Im just venting. I know there are people out here that are in the same shoes as I am. Any words of wisdom would be appreciated. Thanks for reading...:thumbdown:

Thanks for the WOW! To answer the question of what Ive been doing, Ive been eating a lot of protien, staying away from the carbs and excercising my butt off. I do a lot of swimming and Curves. I dont have much restriction right now, in fact I can eat more than 4oz.... BUT I DONT!!! If I eat too much, or eat something I shouldnt it hurts like hell. I pretty much eat tuna salad, refried beans, chicken, shrimp, fish, and weight watchers ice cream for a treat. If Im reallt bad, I have mexican food. My weakness. Ive gotten to the point now where Im not having cravings, which is such a blessing. I find the things that I use to love, like french fries I dont want. I had a few today and they were so grose. I dont crave sweet things anymore, even smelling things that are sweet nauseate me. Weird huh? You can do this, I have this conversation with myself EVERYDAY!!! YOU CAN DO THIS!!!! No one ever said it would be easy.... you just need to reevaluate and mix it up a bit.

I have been reading latley, but not posting. Im now 8 weeks to the day from having had my surgery. Today was a milestone for me. I have lost 40 pounds and 4 and a quarter inches since being banded 4/10/2008. In some ways I am in absolute disbelief, in others Im like FINALLY! Even though I have had little restiction, and I know I have over indulged a few times I have still managed to get to this point. This hasnt been easy, but the band is my new best friend. Im just so amazed at my progress, and I can only hope that in 8 more weeks I can report anoother 40 pound loss. Ahhh life is good!

Hey Everyone- I check these boards all the time. It has become my new addiction. Today was my first day back after being gone for 8 days. I was still dreading going back to work because I fear that everyone knows that I had my surgery done. I know I shouldnt worry about it, but deep down I do. Mentally I think this has been more taxing on me than I thought it was. I was on a huge emotional roller coaster today. I did good eating wise today until I got home. I ate more than 4oz and I know I did. I know I will also pay for it. Im less than 2 weeks post op and I guess I thought my transition would be easier. I dont know what I was thinking, nothing happens over night. Except gray hair. Im just trying to make sense of this all and why I feel so blue. Some say it the anesthia, some says its a period of mourning. I dont know what it is. I havent felt this way since my best friend of 24 years died last year. I even tried talking to myself to understand why I over ate, and what made me want to. Food has been my best friend for so long, and its so hard to let go of it. I know that I overate tonight, but what I ate wasnt bad it was just how much I ate of it. Im still trying to figure this all out. I know food cant fix it, but what will fill that void all of us desire to fill?? Im just trying to figure this all out.... any advice from the old timers?

So today I had my first fill at St. Marys. I was kind of nervous, but it eneded up being ok. I met some other first timers there too, so I didnt feel so bad. I had not eaten since 10:30 this morning, so I was pretty hungry by the time I got home a little after 7 tonight. I drank my 8oz carnation instant breakfeast hoping for the same restirction I felt 1 day out of surgey. So I think I was hoping for too much. So at first when I finished my shake, and yes I drank it slow I didnt feel the restriction I was hoping for. Now as I sit here typing I feel a bit more restriction and a sense of fullness. Im hoping tomorrow is better. I think its because I havent eaten anything in 8 hours so Im not feeling the full effects. I pray so much that this band continues to work. I am offically 33 pounds gone as of today. Im so proud of myself. My primary care doctor said I can get off my high blood pressure medication when I hit the 50 pound mark, 17 more pounds til that happens. He was so excitied with my progress. So has anyone else expereienced this??? Any advice is welcome! Proud to be a bandster!!!

FREEZE!! Put the double cheeseburger DOWN and WALK AWAY!!!! I have to say that to myself as well. I get my first fill 5/22 and I cant wait. I feel like I can eat a whole horse, but Im not big on fried horses! Keep eating your 4oz's each meal and IGNORE YOUR HEAD AS MUCH AS YOU CAN!!!!

Your port will move as you lose weight. Mine has moved a bit from where it orginally was. My Dr. said this would happen. No worries, just means the band is working!

Mandi- You can do this. I promise you this is the hardest part. It really does get easier from here. I am almost 4 weeks post op and life with the band is great. Dont give into your head hunger honey, it will land you in a bad spot. I had head hunger one day last week and I acted on it. Boy was that stupid. Find a way to satisfy your head hunger and run with it. I come here and read and blog. It helps me vent my feelings and WHY I "think" Im hungry!!! Mandi- YOU CAN DO THIS!!!!

I feel the same way. I had my surgery in 4/10 and I dont get a fill until 5/22. I feel like I could eat a horse and another half a horse just in case. My stupid self decided I could eat Taco Bell last night, oh yeah I over indulged. Ok so I binged. I also go sick. Can you take me to vomit town?? So today I sit with puffy eyes and broken blood vessels in my skin under my eyes from my oh so big mistake. I feel like absolute crap for what I did. My boyfriend thinks he oh so funny and keeps bringing it up. I told him I already feel like crap about it, no need to keep bringing it up, thanks! I know he means well, but damn Im already hard enough on myself. May 22nd can come fast enough. I want to feel the resrtiction I did when I first had the surgery. I so wish the head hunger would go away too. Damn the addiction.

I just had to share my great news with everyone! I had my 1st post op appointment yesterday (13 days post op) and as of yesterday 4/23/2008 I have lost 26.5 pounds. My BMI went down 4.5%. I cant even begin to tell you how excitied I am!!!! Im on my way to a healthy me!!! WOOOHOO!!

Suga- You will do fine. Im 12 days post op and have little to no pain. I havent used my pain killers, only tylenol. This is the best thing you can do for yourself- just make sure your ready for all the mental things that follow.

I too have been struggling with my recent banding. I was banded 4/10/08. Last night was the first time I actually cried and said how I was feeling. All day long I had head hunger yesterday, but I wasnt physically hungry. This is really hard to admit because you dont want to feel like a failure. The only thing I can tell you is to talk yourself through it and try to figure out why your "head" is hungry. We didnt become food addicts over night, and we wont be "cured" over night. Just keep hanging in there. We are here to help you get through it~!

I think my moment was a combonation of many moments over the last 25 years. I started packing on the weight at the age of 5 when my grandmother died, and some other misfortunate things happen to me personally. I didnt know how much those things would effect me emotionally, but for the last 25 years they have. So many of the moments were of the abuse from kids in school, not fitting in a roller coaster seat at Busch Gardens and crying as I walked off the ride, the fact that I have high blood pressure, sleep apnea, and I sound like Ive been running a marathon when I answer the phone because its so hard to breath with my asthma. I think all of those and many more make up my moment. Ive been looking at WLS for about 8 years now, and I finally decided in February of 2008 to get it done. I was banded 4/10/2008. This year I will celebrate my first birthday without cake and ice cream, and Im ok with that really. I am one week and one day post op, and today I got a pair of jeans on that I havent worn in years. I was pretty darn impressed with myself. So you asked when my moment came, I guess my moment has been my whole life.

Hi everyone- I just wanted to check in. Ive been reading more than typing this week. I am still trying to pull myself out of this funk. Last week at this time, I was at St. Marys hospital hanging out, and now Im here at home watching Wheel of Fortune. I started my mushy diet yesterday, so far so good. I havent had any problems with the food. I have found a new love for refried beans. I do have trouble with my vitamins for calcium. Im going to see if I can find a chewable for that, also for my allergy pill too. They just feel like they dont wanna move down, but they arent getting stuck or anything. My boyfriend has been staying with me since Sunday, so I have had a babysitter pretty much since I left the hospital. I go for my post up check up with Dr. Schroder on Wednesday, Im interested to see how much weight I have lost. I know I lost 10 pounds on the LSD diet. My boyfriend says he can totally see a huge change. I was like honey not everyone gets to see me naked like you. I did notice this morning when I had to go to the dentist my seatbelt didnt choke me all the way there. So that was a small victory. Today is the first day in my head Ive felt like I could eat more than what I should. I know that probably sounds stupid. I only ate my 4 oz and I was happy with it, but my head said hey you could really have some more ya know. So I told my head, you were the 1st one who got me in this fat situation, Im not listening to you anymore. I wasnt starving to begin with, and I wasnt still hungry afterwords. These games your head plays with you. Sabotage seems to be lingering in my minds head for some reason, and I just cant allow that. I will say that I am worried about going back to work. I have only told a handful of people there what I am doing, and Im a little scared of what to say when I do get there. I mean they havent seen me in a week and all of a sudden there is a lot less of me. I dont know quite how to answe that one yet. I guess we will see when the time comes. Well thanks for letting me vent, I appreciate it.

Hi Folks- Im back and Im banded!! I lost 10 pounds on the liver shrinking diet, but I know by now Im smaller. Im really in no pain, just light soreness near the port area. I am quite tired of the Carnation Instant Breakfast, but I have to deal for a few more days. Once Friday comes, I get mushies!!!! WHOOOHOO!!! Ive never been so excited to get mashed potatoes! So I have to admit something, this seems all so sureal. I mean I know its happened, but it doesnt feel like it has. I keep waiting for the dream to be over. Did anyone else feel this way? I also havent very social the last few days, Ive just been lost inside my own thoughts. I think Im coming out of it, but I didnt know if these feelings were normal or what. Ive never been good with change, maybe thats what my problem is.

Hi out there- I just needed to vent. Its lunch time here at work. Since I went to bed last night I have been thinking about these amazing chicken quesadillas from a local mexican place here in Richmond. I had almost convinced myself that it was ok to go get some. Im 10 days into the liver shrinking diet, and frankly Ive come to despise carnation instant breakfast, string cheese, and ham and turkey sandwiches. I know every Dr, has a different diet, this is the one Im on. Low carb, high protien. Its like Atkins. I wanted these quesadillas so bad today, I mean I had convinced myself and my friend at work it would be ok. My friend kept saying do you know how sick your going to be? Alli- why do it now. So I called my Mom, aka the voice of reason. I told her how I was feeling and what I wanted. She threatned to kick my butt. She said Ive come so far to undo all the good I have done. I just started crying. I dont know why I want these stupid quesadillas. Its just FOOD. Why am I wanting something that isnt good for me? I feel like a crack addict. Im jonesing for a quesadilla instead of crack rock. AHHHH! :smile:

Tomorrow is the big day!!! My band day!! I am so thrilled! Everyone keeps asking "are you nervous?" Im really not. Im a little scared, and Im really excited. Im just not nervous. I know this is the best thing I could ever do for myself. Maybe it will all hit me when I go to St. Marys in the morning. I dont know. For some reason I keep thinking, something is going to happen and Im not going to be able to have it. Maybe thats why Im not nervous. I dont know.Guess Im just waiting for the other shoe to drop ya know!