Aminor825

I had a very similar problem. In 2013, I attended an info session, had a consultation with my surgeon, found out I had moderate sleep apnea, had a preop upper GI, and a cardiac consult.... He went with me and when I asked at the info session if anyone had any regrets, to which everyone said, "Yes, I regret not doing it sooner." he accused me of being fake and trying to convince myself that I needed it. I have been overweight for as long as I can remember. One of my first memories was when I was 7 and weighed 97 lbs. I remember a classmate overhearing and telling other classmates and how terrible I felt for something I didn't even realize was such a problem. I grew up in the eighties when there was only one or two fat kids in a class. I was always the fat kid, the chubby girl, the big boned girl, the pleasantly plump girl, and the "it's such a shame because you have such a pretty face" girl. My husband argued that I didn't have a weight problem and I was trying to create one in order to have the surgery. I was forbidden from having the surgery. He felt it was digusting and an easy way out and said I would have ugly scars and hanging skin and completely put everything and anything about the surgery down. I let him control me as I was severely depressed and brainwashed for the last 7 years. He finally moved out earlier this month and I already started my journey. I am hoping to have surgery by early April. I need to do this for me and my health and self esteem and my daughters that I want o watch grow and have their own families someday. I hope your husband sees the light and if not, that's his problem. You have got to do what's best for you and only you can make that decision.

I went through this with my husband too in the beginning. He didn't understand how much pain I was in on a daily basis or how much torture I went through on a daily basis from my weight itself and from trying to diet and being so hungry all the time it hurt too bad to sleep. I sat down and poured my heart out into a letter and gave it to him. I even linked to a bunch of different YouTube videos for him to watch both from Bariatric surgeons and from people just like me who have had the surgery. It helped him wrap his mind around why I wanted to do such a thing. We still had bumpy Patches throughout the whole process including him refusing to read my post op care book to see what it was I needed him to do since he missed the class. Since surgery though, as he's seen me gain back use of my body that I had lost and to see me smile again and be happy and active, he's good now. He was afraid in the beginning that I could die and that this was just another in a long list of "lose weight schemes" like all the pills, the various diet companies-weight watchers, Jenny Craig, nutrisystem that we poured so much money into with no real results, and that I was putting my faith in a surgery because I was out of options. Now he knows better.

I am sorry that your husband is not supportive -- neither was mine. Not at ALL.. don't let that stop you. It's not HIm you are doing this for, it's YOU.
My husband was so disgusted with my having the surgery he didnt' want ANYTHING to do with it, I had to go through it all without him, and on my own.
I am all alone here, far from homoe.. have no family but him so I hired a "Medical Escort" to take me home from the Endoscopy, and then the Surgery waiting time, with instructions to call my aunt if anything happend, and finally to bring me to the train to ride home when I was released from the hospital.
So... if you are committed to doing this for YOU, without any support, on your own. go for it. Join your doctor's support group. Talk to people on this forum and ask for help.. don't let fear of disapproval keep you from your dream.
AND I AM NOT SORRY!! HA HA HA... now he compliments me and we never talk about those "bad days."
It's not easy, but you are worth it. BE STRONG, be your own best friend.