Rainbow_Warrior

I was doing the same thing in reverse just days ago.
i.e. What would I (a morbidly obese 61 year old male Australian) say to my 15 year old (or 18 year old) self given temporary use of a time machine?
My four top answers would be:
1. Don't eat factory-generated Breakfast cereals or any added sugars or sweeteners.
2. Moderate portion sizes are best and "seconds" should be a rare thing NOT your normal thing.
3. Soft drinks or carbonated drinks are unnecessary ... including all diet varieties.
4. Alcohol, especially beer, does not have to be central to social life or "winding down".
- - -
While I cannot guarantee that these four pillars will stop my adult overweight, I'm sure that I would not have reached 191.8kg (423 pounds OR 30.25 stones).
Five of my grandchildren had a dad that was 208kg (458 pounds) in January 2015 and is now 99kg (218 pounds) today following diet shakes for six months then Gastric Sleeving in late July 2015. In fact, it's his success that finally prompted me to go for Gastric Sleeve surgery myself.
He and my daughter do not want any of their five kids to repeat his life or mine. They operate under my first three advice points for their kids. My daughter and the youngest grandchild in that family are Coeliac as well. So food and eating and drinking sensibly are at the core of their daily life.

It's NOT mandatory that people agree with your choice.
It's clearly you that has made the decision and has almost all the options for the future under your supervision and control.
Utilise ALL the support you need.
For your own benefit (from others' hindsight), be VERY SELECTIVE in who you tell or even WHEN you tell them.
Keep away from people with known negative outlooks on WLS as they will be NO help to you.
You should know by now which of your family, friends and work colleagues (if any) should be "in the know". Think before you speak/share.

I can tell you that you have come to a good place! Don't let a few "bad apples" spoil the bunch, most on here are more than willing to help you through you're dark time and help out in any way possible. You will be fine!

It's a mental mechanism others develop to assume that all calorie controlled diets with exercise are easy and that I (and 95% of other grossly obese and morbidly obese people) are just not trying hard enough.
Over the las t 40+ years, I have watched some formerly very skinny and some average weight people become overweight then obese. I see their eyes when I say, "I know it's hard to diet for long periods of time, eh? ... harder than you used to think, eh?"
Some do begin to empathise ... but not all.
- - -
People who tell me my upcoming gastric sleeve op is cheating get both barrels from me.
I emphasise that I am spending megabuck$ to buy the advantage ... i.e. paying a direct price for all my failures at dieting because I want to "get in the game" and end the medications, the painful joints and the combined negatives of hal a lifetime of obesity.
Thanks for reading my 10c worth.

Honestly i can't wait to flaunt my new body!!! The majority of my family are all females and they are either overweight or skinny. One of famous slogans I hear when they visit me here in GA is "I look swollen" easier way of avoiding the fact that I'm fat. Here's another catchy phrase.. "those jeans make you look skinny" ok I'm on a roll.. " I get compared to other obese family members meanwhile the person that's speaking to me is just as obese as I am. I often say to myself why don't they ever use themselves as the example when trying to compare me to the voluptuous person. My goal is take a trip to NYC and flaunt my new body, cut my hair not sure or trim it.. I'm excited to get sweet revenge! Lol

Very good article.
Thanks for sharing, njgal.
I hope he's doing well now that some extra years have passed.

Any future posts will be in a new forum post, i wont be needing to keep posting here as i am obviously post-op now and therefore this topic no longer applies to me!

But i will keep everyone updated!

I had surgery on 8/4 and only family that knows is my husband, sister, mom, dad, & my cousin. That's only because the same as you I was too criticized all the time of being overweight/obese. Say stuff like you would be prettier, if only you were skinny, etc...my aunt asked me the other day she saw me if I had lap band done. I got pissed because she does not like me. She asked all these questions- I stopped her and said I was just watching what I eat better. That's why I did it. So judge mental and just I don't know. She proceeded to tell me she couldn't believe I lost weight and blah blah blah. Family can be destructive to you. You know if it's better to tell them or not.

great advise Rainbow Warrior.

Thanks for the info on the button RW. I didn't know it was there or I would have used it yesterday. I have found some very nice supportive people as well.

Oh, believe me, I'm not going back to that forum - LOL.

I was in the sleeve forum and there was a very negative conversation, and it threw me....wanted to make sure it wasn't normal....

I hope you've found some supportive people here. I know I did and I hope to be one of those supportive people now for others. Keep us posted on your progress and know so many are out here cheering you on!!! If I personally can be of help don't hesitate to reach out!!!

I'm relatively new here too. I've seen some of the negative remarks and just skipped over them. I personally have only had supportive comments written to my post.

Thanks XYZ. I was very honestly not wanting to create a stir, I really wanted to know if others felt supported and edified. Believe me, I understand that there are jerks in the world, but I am in a place right now where I want to set myself up for success, not agitation.

I agree that's inappropriate, to say the least, but it was, presumably, one poster. And sure, there are others that will be negative or unnecessarily blunt or whatever. But there is a ton of useful information to be found here; I've found the suggestions about what to drink/eat for each stage helpful, for example. Or the advice to get some Gas-X before the surgery! very useful.
I also found it inspiring to look at the before/after pictures in several threads. I still can't quite picture myself in one of the "after" pictures looking a normal weight . . . it's been a long, long time since that was true.
Best of luck . . . I'm almost at the pureed stage and so sick of Protein Shakes I could scream. Oh, another tip: Protein Water. It's saved my sanity.

A great point.
And, in the extreme of being under an unfair or unwarranted attack, there is the choice to BLOCK a user that you find distasteful. I'm sure celticNgal will see that available choice soon ... I noticed it after about five days.

It's been very rough for me and I can relate my mother and sisters were very cruel to me and always made fun of me because of my weight. To date my sisters friends don't even know that we are related I feel as though by doing this I am taking control and very happy with the decision I have made

I'm telling most family, a few selected friends and just two trusted colleagues.
There has been discussion amongst friends and workmates and, inevitably, many people including some long-term fat/obese people who go on about 'cheating'.
I don't want their negativity and 5h1t. Surgery is my considered choice after over 20 years of losing every dieting battle (about which I used to feel too much shame).
We are, after all, fighting fast food, advertising, mass-produced high-sugar, low-nutrient cr@p and I was too slow off the mark.

It's a mental mechanism others develop to assume that all calorie controlled diets with exercise are easy and that I (and 95% of other grossly obese and morbidly obese people) are just not trying hard enough.
Over the las t 40+ years, I have watched some formerly very skinny and some average weight people become overweight then obese. I see their eyes when I say, "I know it's hard to diet for long periods of time, eh? ... harder than you used to think, eh?"
Some do begin to empathise ... but not all.
- - -
People who tell me my upcoming gastric sleeve op is cheating get both barrels from me.
I emphasise that I am spending megabuck$ to buy the advantage ... i.e. paying a direct price for all my failures at dieting because I want to "get in the game" and end the medications, the painful joints and the combined negatives of hal a lifetime of obesity.
Thanks for reading my 10c worth.

Well, here in AUS, nearly every surgeon says stay off fizzy soft-drinks (sodas).
It is one of the clearest problems for people who do poorly with their gastric sleeving.
If I had my life over again, I'd never eat a factory-produced breakfast-cereal or any fizzy soda drink ... not even Coke Zero or Pepsi Max or other 'diet' varieties. These products are just %^&*ing enemies of bodies.
So, for me, my doctor's advice will be heeded ... Water, tea, unsweetened drinks for the future.

Hear, hear to that.
There's a lot of judgemental nastiness out there.
As a BMI over 50 man, going to shops, cafes and public places has been an ordeal for many years. It's not the little innocent toddlers and pre-schoolers who say, "Mummy, why is that man so fat?"
It's the people, not just skinny ones either, who say things audibly (or before I'm out of earshot) who say the cruelest, nastiest, most vile things. Sadly, most of them also belittle Muslims, the handicapped, Pakistanis, people with physical deformities, etc.

I was not ridiculed as such but my (otherwise lovely) father was too free with well-meaning comments and advice every time I saw him.
I just pulled him aside one day in my late thirties and said, "Dad. Enough! I know I'm plump and I do try to control my weight but your constant comments and bits of helpful advice are actually NOT HELPFUL. They feel like nagging and negative reminders every time I see you. I don't want to be angry with you so just stop, please."
That worked fairly well.

I'm telling most family, a few selected friends and just two trusted colleagues.
There has been discussion amongst friends and workmates and, inevitably, many people including some long-term fat/obese people who go on about 'cheating'.
I don't want their negativity and 5h1t. Surgery is my considered choice after over 20 years of losing every dieting battle (about which I used to feel too much shame).
We are, after all, fighting fast food, advertising, mass-produced high-sugar, low-nutrient cr@p and I was too slow off the mark.

It's a mental mechanism others develop to assume that all calorie controlled diets with exercise are easy and that I (and 95% of other grossly obese and morbidly obese people) are just not trying hard enough.
Over the las t 40+ years, I have watched some formerly very skinny and some average weight people become overweight then obese. I see their eyes when I say, "I know it's hard to diet for long periods of time, eh? ... harder than you used to think, eh?"
Some do begin to empathise ... but not all.
- - -
People who tell me my upcoming gastric sleeve op is cheating get both barrels from me.
I emphasise that I am spending megabuck$ to buy the advantage ... i.e. paying a direct price for all my failures at dieting because I want to "get in the game" and end the medications, the painful joints and the combined negatives of hal a lifetime of obesity.
Thanks for reading my 10c worth.