First and foremost, I have never had a single second of regret. Despite the stricture, the constant nauseated feeling I had for the first few weeks (meds fixed that), my inability to drink plain Water (still! almost 2 years out!), and the constant diarrhea (still! almost 2 years out!).
That's all the bad stuff, all completely tolerable as it replaced the constant guilt for cheating on whatever diet I was on at the moment. The gassy, bloated feeling I had from whatever "bad" foods I had gorged on that day. The dread I felt about stepping on the scale.
My size 8 wardrobe has replaced my size 20. Brightly colored clothes have replaced most of the black in my closet. Heels are comfortable now. I may have poop Soup, but I no longer have to wait for the handicapped stall because a regular stall is too small. I was able to do any exercise I wanted before, but now I can exercise without sweating profusely the moment I start, I can breath comfortably, I don't have to stop to "get a rock out of my shoe". I no longer wear capri pants when it's cold outside because they are the only pants I could find that fit. I don't care if my hair and makeup is perfect and I can go out in workout clothes because I no longer feel as if I look like the fat lady who just didn't give a ****.
I can eat in public without being self conscious. I don't feel the constant stares (all in my imagination, I'm sure) when I walk through a mall full of teens. I am no longer the fat mom. Hell, I am no longer the fattest person in the room, hoping someone fatter will show up. (Ha! It's been so long, I've forgotten about that until this very second.) I thought I would miss food. I don't. I don't miss the fat lady stores, I don't miss buying wide shoes, I don't miss the looks when I get on an airplane, bus, train or theater -- you know, that look that says, " PLEASE don't sit next to me!!".
No, no regrets. The little blips on the radar are were all worth it. I am most surprised about how much I was fooling myself when I thought I looked and felt great. Let me tell you, it's was nothing like I look and feel now.
