CJ Sunshine

I'm so sorry for your loss, but so encouraged to hear that you were able to cope without turning to food. My greatest fear is that I'm going to go through all of this only to end up back here...and that's why I am so actively trying to find healthier ways to process my emotions. I truly do believe your words.

that's great news! congratulations

An incision still opening one month out, that sounds like something you should run by your doctor and not us lay people.

I've always been an emotional eater and as I get myself ready for surgery next week, I'm wondering how the veterans...those who have lost the weight and kept it off for more than a year or two...dealt with stress and other emotions, once you were no longer acting out with food. I've just started seeing a therapist, to work on these issues, but there's nothing like hearing from those who have lived it. What worked/works for you? I'm looking for tools to help me succeed. Thanks!

Welcome and good luck!! I'll be right behind you with surgery next week on the 14th.

Genetic pre-disposition, childhood trauma and using food to cope, compounded by a thyroid disorder.

Thank you!

Well, I met the new therapist and Third time IS a charm! I loved this therapist!! Looking forward to working with her!

Wow! Stunning!

The first two I was very interested in making sure they had experience working with bariatric patients. Reportedly, they did. So I didn't even ask the one I'm seeing tonight. I decided compassion, kindness and intelligence were the most important qualities I wanted. But I think I will ask about her experience, if any, working with bariatric patients.

I agree...but I'd take this even further...why is it anyone's business what any of us, thin or fat, puts into our bodies? Why do people think it's okay to judge it? and even worse, comment on it! We all make our choices....and face our own consequences. I don't tell my thin friend who smokes that she should stop. I'm pretty sure she knows smoking is bad for her. Just like I know I'm overweight without anyone pointing it out for me.

One of the things I truly admire about my father is how little he cares for anyone else's opinions. Unfortunately, when it comes to all things weight related, I'm more like my mom...who can be sensitive. I could use to emulate this characteristic in my father on this front...but how to do that, I'm still trying to figure out. I agree that this would be a good topic for therapy! I'm actually actively searching for a therapist now. I've worked with two great therapists who helped me work through some things in the past. One is retiring and the other cannot fit me in her schedule right now. And so I've met with two therapists so far. Both were not good. In fact, both were really bad. The first was a psychologist recommended by the psychologist in my bariatric group (he sees people privately, but does not participate in my insurance). The woman was awful...she may be a brilliant author on the field of food addiction (why I think he recommended her), but she should not have contact with living, breathing subjects. She was condescending, patronizing and judgmental. She made no attempt to get to know me, but instead started telling me how people who have weight loss surgery frequently become alcoholics, gamblers, shopaholics or divorced...I wrote to the guy who recommended her, just so he knew not to send people to her. Honestly, if I didn't have strong self esteem this woman would have done me some serious harm. The second therapist I met seemed better at first, although I was not comfortable with her at home office. I had to walk down a steep driveway, past her knocked over garbage cans, into her backyard, to enter into a basement office. When I left my first appointment with her, I was trying to overlook her rather slovenly ways, trying not to judge and be open minded and so I went back for a second time. On this visit, as I entered the backyard, she popped out of the office and said to me, "I'm sorry. I screwed up. Can you just give me a few minutes." So I sat in her backyard, looking at garbage strewn in her yard, thinking, "what am I doing here?" I was considering leaving, when 15 minutes later she finished with her other client. So I went in. about 1/2 an hour into my session, someone else is coming into the backyard. She commented, "They're early." So out she pops and asks them to wait. When she comes back into the office, there is only a screen door between us and the couple outside. She expected me to continue and I said, "They're right there." So she got up and closed the sliding glass door. I tried to soldier on, but then I could see her looking over my shoulder...the woman outside was pacing behind me! As I left, I heard the woman say to her, "We had a 4:45." as the therapist responded, "I had you down at 5:00." Now, come on...she was off 15 minutes on my appointment...she had messed up theirs too! It was all so unprofessional and uncomfortable. The thing that bothered me most, however, was that she wouldn't have made any attempt to protect my privacy if I hadn't said something. I thought as I left, "This woman is a mess. I'm not this big a mess. I don't need what she has to offer." Thank god, I've had good therapists in the past, or I think I'd be done with therapy after these two! But I'm still looking and I have an appointment to see someone else tonight. Fingers crossed that third time's a charm!

You should look into Coolief. I'm a week out from the procedure and I would say I have had a 50% reduction in pain...and it may continue to improve for another 2 weeks before the full effect takes place. Cortisone did not work for me.

Happy to report that retesting showed no issues and I am cleared for my surgery in two weeks!!

Not yet. Surgery scheduled for 9/14. Thank you for this though...very appreciated.

This is EXCELLENT advice. You never know what policy changes may come. Some people's policies expressly exclude WLS. Besides, you may not feel as motivated then as you do now.

Oh, I hope I can drink them cold after my surgery...I think they taste so much better with ice!

That's what I want! Thank you for sharing that it is possible!

By the time I met my surgeon on June 29, I already had completed my insurance requirement for 6 months of medically supervised weight loss with my PCP. I met with the nutritionist and hospital psychologist a week later. My insurance approved the surgery about a week and a half after that and I'm scheduled for surgery 9/14.

I was lucky enough to be approved first application, no problems. I've read a lot of people had to appeal once or even twice before they were approved.

I hear you and apple1. I try not to let it hurt...but sometimes it does anyway. I do know most children mean no harm. I remember my nephew being little and commenting on how big my muscles were...and I just agreed that I had big muscles.

SIPS - Stomach Intestinal Pylorus-Sparing Surgery - is a modification to the traditional DS, which uses only a single anastamosis and has a longer common channel. It is proposed that it will have less malabsorption with similar weight loss and retention results as a traditional DS, but long term data is not yet available. My doctor does not require a pre-op liquid diet until the day before surgery, when I will be on clear liquids only. I did have some general guidelines from the nutritionist, to follow this last month, but honestly nothing terribly restrictive and far more gentle than what I've read other people have had to go through. I'm not sure why some doctors think the strict pre-op diet is necessary while others feel it is completely unnecessary. But my doctor is great and considered one of the best in the field, so I trust him and I'm grateful I don't have to do that!

I like this foreign culture idea...although really looking forward to the day when it's not an issue...OMG...to be able to walk into a room completely unnoticed...or noticed for the right reasons.

Not only do I go to a gym, but I do exclusively water aerobics (I have bad knees), so I'm in a swimsuit! I try really hard not to allow my self-consciousness about my weight keep me from doing things I enjoy or are good for me. But every once in a while something like this happens and I get that slap in the face about how different I look and it makes me want to hide.

Yesterday, I was getting on a boat, for a lovely day out with my wife, when I noticed a little girl kept looking back at me and staring. I braced myself for the innocent comment from a small child that is not intended to hurt, but does nevertheless. Thankfully, she didn't say anything...but she didn't have to..the damage was done. I was once again very conscious of my size. A few weeks back it happened at the gym when a young girl (maybe 4 y.o.) was staring at my legs...I knew it was coming and sure enough, she then commented to her mom about how big my legs are. (I'm still pre-op)...I very politely told the little girl that she hurt my feelings and it wasn't nice to point out how I'm different. She cried and her mom apologized and thanked me for being willing to teach her child (thank god she didn't get angry). The little girl apologized and I told her I forgave her and it was okay. I really do get it. They don't often see women with my body shape...so I don't really fault the children...they are just trying to understand something that is very different. But damn it hurts every time... I look forward to the day when I'm just normal fat..I don't even care about thin...I just want to be small enough that children don't make me want to cry anymore.