N0VA
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Status Updates posted by N0VA
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Just venting...
I really miss enjoying food. I know it's a hurdle I'll have to get over but since this is still so new... its a struggle. I don't even mean crazy unhealthy food... I mean ANY food. I can't eat enough to even feel satisfied (the desire, not the hunger). I just feel full. All of the enjoyment is gone (which I realize is a good thing.., but it's miserable too). At the same time, I feel incredibly guilty about eating anything. Even at meal times, even on plan. I just feel guilty for being hungry... that doesn't seem right. Am I the only one who feels/felt this way?
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I suppose I should just focus on tracking my food intake.. that should probably get rid of the guilt. I definitely still have the diet mentality. I can't even imagine not having that. I feel like I've been dieting most of my life. There is work to be done there, for sure. I appreciate the perspective!
However, I'm not sure that I agree that food isn't supposed to be enjoyable. I just want to be thin, not miserable! That doesn't mean we should engorge ourselves.. but even animals enjoy their food and have preferences (at least, higher intelligence animals do). I have no desire to binge eat or anything, I never really had that type of relationship with food, fortunately. At this point, it's just frustrating when I want something (let's say Salmon) and I'm super excited to finally get what I wanted... but then I'm full before I really got the chance to enjoy the fact that I just had Salmon.
Having said that.. I think I figured out what my issue was today. I think I was eating too quickly. I slowed down, even more, today at lunch and actually got to savor each bite. I was even able to eat more than a few bites!
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Oh, I LOVE the taste of food now, I really DO enjoy my meals. I didn't mean everything had to taste like cardboard.
What I meant was the difference with preop. Before, if I liked the food, it was always a call to have seconds. It didn't matter that I was no longer hungry! It was good, so I always wanted to continue experiencing that goodness.
Now you've discovered the secret. Slow down, savor every bite. You'll get to experience the goodness for as long as you like (taking your time with every bite), but only consume a couple ounces.
A recommendation I read is to cut food up into pencil eraser sized pieces (those ones attached to pencils). 2oz of food cut up that small can last quite a while! Lol.
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So I can have things like applesauce and cottage cheese and pureed foods now...
I measure my food so it's not really an issue... but is it normal to not really feel any restriction? I honestly thought that I'd take two bites and feel super full or uncomfortable or SOMETHING.. but I eat my 4oz of applesauce and feel absolutely normal. I do get satisfied with just a small amount of food so there is a change.. it's just that after reading so many stories, I expected something entirely different. I expected to get 2oz in and struggle to eat the rest. Does that feeling come with regular foods? Maybe I just eat really slow? IDK!
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Considering rescheduling my surgery with Dr. Illan. It would put my surgery off for close to a month and would be at a VERY inconvenient time.. but after reading so many things about him, his facilities, and the package they offer.. its much more reassuring. I have a few more days before my deposit is due for my current scheduled surgery so there's a little time to decide. These are the inconveniences that changing the timing will cause (that I haven't already found a solution to).
1) I'll likely have to travel alone (scary).
2) It will really put me behind in school for that semester.
3) It would put a lot of pressure on my husband since the kids will be back in school and he'll have to juggle all of that alone for 5 days.
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Intrinsic, I think that's exactly where I am at this point. I'm going to stick with what I have scheduled.. its only 1 week away!! (August 12th - yes, a Saturday) I think my biggest issue with rescheduling is the fact that I'd have to go alone.
Berry, that definitely would have made it easier but, sadly, since I want it done asap I'm in a ''beggars can't be choosers'' situation.
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My surgery date is quickly approaching and I've gone from excited to TERRIFIED. I'm not even really sure what I'm afraid of exactly.
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I mean it was vacation at my parents house, but it was still a ten hour drive!
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Diane... exactly. I had three c-sections, so laparoscopy is practically a walk in the park. lol
I have four kiddos 8 and under, so I don't know what rest is anymore LOL
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(They're just much smaller utensils and hold much less food.)
