FluffyChix

The inner motivation and fire--the will and drive to succeed must reside within yourself. External support and motivation will only go so far in helping you reach your goals. BUT, as long as you work on developing both your inner self and also developing a support system that consists of your surgical team/RD/psychologist, and recruit a RL support group (usually through your surgeon or RD), and you hang here with us, you WILL experience success. Congrats on getting to this point. You can do it!

With all due respect, you are making a judgement. "We all know people who go a little extreme with both diet and exercise and I don't want that to be me." That's YOUR opinion. But what if they are perfectly satisfied and living a happy balanced life TO THEM? Just because it would make your life uncomfortable does not mean your way is the right way and their way is wrong. There are many paths to the same truth. "We all have a friend or coworker that doesn't stop talking about every meal or their gym routine..." Really? I think that also sounds like a judgement and maybe you are sensitive to that so it registers with you. "Worrying about every calorie or obsessing about every workout isn't really healthy in the long run." Of course it isn't. But again, that's your perspective. ARE they truly worrying about every last morsel? Maybe they track things more detailed than you. Maybe they meal plan. But obsessing? How are you qualified to make that mental health assessment. I think you are judging. Just because you are different doesn't make you right and them wrong. And this is what I object to about the left turn this thread went in. I'm so absolutely tired of people not just living and letting people live. I'm so sick of being hammered and shamed if my way is different. In RL and online. What makes you and authority? What makes Summerset? And even more...how does anyone who lacked the basic skills in understanding dietary moderation PRE-surgery, just "magically" wake up the next day after surgery and suddenly develop those abilities inately for the rest of their lives? LOL. I call BS and shenanigans. Why? Cuz stomachs heal and restriction loosens. You can eat more. You can eat bad foods. You start groovin on living life and you add back alcohol. And it's a recipe for "magic moderation regain." On this board right now, there are 2 such posts about the subject. Over the last 18months I've seen 100s of these threads. I'm gonna place my bet on @skinnylife @BigViffer @Biddy zz and @Diana in Philly those types of people with focus and plans that they will continue to live excellent, rewarding lives of health, happiness and normal weight.

I walk 7 days a week. Occasional will take a day off if I don't feel well. I try to walk for an hour. Often I have to split that up into 15 or 20 minute segments. Some days I can get in the full hour at one time. If so, then I try to walk more later in the day. I am also doing core exercises 2 days a week in my home. No monies for a gym or trainer. This will have to be enough.

Walter, jump on it now. And get er done! It would be a few short weeks of relative misery losing 15 pounds compaired to 7-8 months for more!!! Welcome back!

Wooohooooo. Thought I would post this here for posterity and since I never really believed in my heart of hearts I would actually stick it out and do this thing. Jokes on me! Today I hit my mythical 65% of EBW lost since surgery. This is the number that they use to calculate your goal for RNY surgery. They estimate that you will lose 65% of EBW--for me that end weight is 156lbs. I had 102lbs of EBW on my carcass as of surgery day and my "ideal" is defined as 120lbs for my height. So to reach 65%, I had to lose 66.3lbs and today I am down 66.4lbs since surgery. It did take me since Feb 20th to do it though--not like I tore up the ground with losses. But still--focused/obsessed/whatevs--I did it. I'd like to thank the Academy. So I can stop right? Cuz I'm a big ol' loser? Not EVEN!!! My actual 1st goal is 150lbs. I guess I'll be back to post about that when I hit it (hopefully this year ). Here's my piccy update (click to enlarge):

Spin--it's everything in life and makes a huge diff in my attitude at times!! hehe

I actually envy people who manage to be successful long-term without focusing on diet and exercise. I think that formerly MO peeps who effortlessly reach goal and maintain past the 18mo-5year mark without regain are as rare as hens teeth, chimera, and unicorns--maybe even as likely in finding them as seeing confetti and rainbows flying out of my keester too. Why? Cuz I don't just think or say this--the science and research supports this--that genetically skinny/metabolically blessed people operate with a whole different set of road rules that govern their normal weights than those who are either genetically challenged, or metabolically injured. You can't apply one set of rules and see success in the other population. It's magical thinking. You can wish in one and spit in the other. Guess which one you will have? Science shows that once MO/indeed, once overweight...we metabolically set our bodies up for bigger and bigger shifts in the space/time/fat continuum that requires we become even more strict on diet/exercise/lifestyle choices. So yeah...there's that. I'm pretty sure, for the rest of my MO life (btw, even though I will be at normal weight in about 12lbs, I will ALWAYS be a metabolically MO peep. The End. Don't believe me? Just run tests on my cells/metabolism/etc.

It can be devastating and feel like 'I'll never lose again...'! But stay the course. Keep focused and positive. It'll be ok. Sorry you're having a sucky moment! Congrats on the losses so far!!!

Good lawd. It makes me quake in my boots for you just reading this! ((hugs)) Girl!! Have fun this week and do well on your job. You're strong like Russian bull! You can figure out a way to navigate through it. Right? And so what? So you gain 4lbs. You know what to do and more importantly know that you are CAPABLE of jumping right back into your plan when you return. Don't think of it as "not losing" or "regaining". Reframe it and think instead that you are "practicing maintenance with a 5lb maintenance window"!!! And btw, congrats on being to 151!!!!!!!!! Wahoooooooo! That's fantastic! (Oh and get your lovely lily white ass up in the morning and do 30 minutes of exercise in your house. Shhhhh! Who said that? *looks around*)

I used those too. I liked them over lots of ice and thinned out by 50% filtered water. Like @Matt Z, I also used their powders. Loved the Bananas and Cream and the Chocolate one the best. I also used Syntrax Lemon Iced Tea.

Longo and Mattson, two of my favorite scientists on aging and fasting!! Great article. Thanks for sharing it. I love that there appears to be "many paths" toward the same end--better metabolic response. We don't have to ascribe to a cookie-cutter method to make it work for us! Yeeehawww!

Ok, time for 1 month updates for me!!! Wooohooooo and what a month it's been!!! Spectacular--even with the cold thing!!! I finally feel like my mojo's back and I'm groovin' on a sunny afternoon!! Here are the stats: 09.03.18 Weight | 10.01.18 Weight 166.4lbs | 156.0lbs (-10.4lbs) 08.20.18 Measurements | 09.20.18 Measurements | -5.75inches lost Chest 39.5 | 39 | -.5 Waist 32.5 | 31 | -1.5 Hips 41.5 | 41 | -.5 Neck 13.5 | 13 | -.5 Right Thigh 22 | 21 | -1 Left Thigh 22 | 21 | -1 Right Arm 11 | 10.75 | -.25 Left Arm (Lymphedema from cancer) 12.5 | 12 | -.5 So in conclusion, I lost 10.4lbs and 5.75inches this month through my intermittent fasting and intermittent calorie restriction diet plan. Eating low carb mostly (85-90% of the time)? I pretty effortlessly lived life without dietary angst, cravings, or denial. I ate when hungry and didn't eat when my hunger cues were skewed or inappropriate. I ate tons of healthy foods too--maxing veggies and small amounts of low glycemic fruits and my motivation is back!!! This is huge, cuz I felt like I was floundering for the past 2 months--and felt like I would never reach goal. So let's give you some numbers: Average Calories and Macros with Associated Weight Loss: With IF September 01-30, 2018 Averages: -11lbs | 804 Calories | 60g Protein | 43g Fat | 43g Carbs | 7g Fiber | 36g Net Carbs Without IF August 01-31, 2018 Averages: -2.8lbs | 835 Calories | 71g Protein | 37g Fat | 42g Carbs | 9g Fiber | 32g Net Carbs July 01-31, 2018 Averages: -4lbs | 816 Calories | 73g Protein | 39g Fat | 44g Carbs | 8g Fiber | 36g Net Carbs June 01-30, 2018 Averages: -10.2lbs | 685 Calories | 64g Protein | 30g Fat | 36g Carbs | 8g Fiber | 27g Net Carbs Well, I'm 6lbs away from my first goal of 150lbs. I know I can do it and my goal is to reach and exceed that by the end of October. Then I will be off to my 2nd goal--to be in the "normal weight bracket" of anything lower than 145lbs. I "think" I can do that too. But right now, I'm just focusing on taking steps to reduce systemic inflammation and insulin resistance through lifestyle changes and getting to 150lbs! Oh and today is a fasting day. I'm going for a 23 hour fast--will eat at 7pm and try to keep my cals to around 500 for the day. Here's my Month-to-Month so far. (click to enlarge)

Wowowo! It sounds like you are dong things a skinny dude would do. WTG on the SUV coating. And your next 2 weeks, while busy sound like a ton o'fun. Way to live life man!!!

Wahhhhoooooooo!!!! Jumping up and down over here and screamin for you!!! Congrats Matt. You've worked so damn hard for this. How do you feel being sub-220?? Sorry about your back! Why is it hurting? Take a deep breath and tighten that belt. You'll get through these 2 week hon!!! Will be thinking good thoughts for you and of course we'll be here when you have time!!

I finally have a before/after. Sometimes I can't "edit" myself cuz something looks so good. I usually only put what I know will be eaten on my plate and weigh everything. That way I have a clean/healthy plate without leftovers. But I served 3.5oz of salmon + 3.5oz broccoli + 1oz ea avocado and tomato. (Ended up finishing the avo, cuz I didn't want to throw it out or waste it.) Ended up eating 3oz salmon, 2oz broccoli, 1oz avo, 1/2oz tom--pretty much what I always eat (by weight). LOL. There is comfort in predictability. I'm a little over 8 months out.

((hugs)) So I feel and hear your concern. And I really hear that you love, respect, and honor her--but also that you have fear inside that the surgery has negatively impacted her/you in many ways. But I think you need some facts in order to review your premise, because the basic premise is flawed by personal bias that is mediated by fear. 1. Diet and exercise do not work. Ever. They are temporary fixes in an unaltered body and fewer than 5% can maintain a 10% weight loss over 5 years time. Fewer than 5%. To give perspective, even WITH altering the gut and surgery, I've heard doctors speak of 5 year results of maintaining the full weight loss at less than 5%. They count success if someone maintains a 50% weight loss over that same time frame. So weight rebound is REAL. This surgery isn't really WLS. It's weight maintenance surgery because it DOES help improve the odds that you can lose substantial amounts of weight and at least keep 50% of it off over 5 years. 2. You are used to seeing your wife morbidly obese. You are. And now you see her thin-ness and fear that she is thin and guant. Gaunt happens. Especially if you are older. But, give it 1 year. The fat re-apportions itself and gaunt features will fill out and soften. 3. All weight loss comes with muscle loss. The end. We must do strength training to rebuild muscle and tone. Everyone must--especially if they want to maintain the losses. 4. Yeah...some women lose libido with weight loss, especially if you are peri-meno or menopausal. It sucks...but should be temporary. 5. Personality and moods change with extreme weight loss--it's a process and a journey and it takes a while for us to get our heads "right". The best thing you can do is be super supportive and compliment her on how she looks and reassure her that you think she's smokin' hot. Also, woo her. Don't just "Hey mama, let's get it on." Women want romance, and caresses that lead nowhere other than to be made to feel special--to tell her you enjoy being close to her. Try titillating her mind and senses rather than the end game. Try doing that kind of stuff and see if her libido changes!!! 6. I can assure you that we do NOT get to the Morbid Obesity Ball due to character flaws--due to lacking self-discipline. In order to get there most of us have exerted MASSIVE amounts of will power, time, energy, and committment to yo-yo our way through our broken metabolism and I would claim that we have more willpower than you will EVER (as a normie) be able to comprehend. The End.

OMG! IKR????!!!! bahahahahaha!

There. Their. They're...it's because you're hangry and on liquids deary. This too shall pass and you will once more be able to don the cloak of invisibility with those types of posts. ((hugs)) Hang in there. Liquid pre-op AND even post of sucks big ones.

It does irk me when himself says, "Nah, I'm not hungry. I don't want anything...and I make my meal. And invariably he will eat a huge serving. I cook the same food. So I've just gotten where I don't even ask. I just make enough for the both of us. Either way, I win. No stress. Meals done. Boom baby. If he doesn't want anything then I have extras for later and I get to hit the "EASY" button for that day. Men...can't live with 'em, can't shoot 'em.

I don't know how y'all do it! Hats off to u!!! Me=notworthy My stress level would be crazy and I would be a snarky mess!

That would frustrate me too and I won't allow that **** to start so I don't let it have a foothold. Lol

I'd feel poor and pitiful if I had to cook decadent stuff for Mr. F and then I had to live on chicken and turkey. He eats what I eat--one set of food--limited treats to keep us both on track. We're having salmon and broccoli for dins. I'm sure he'd rather a steak or burger but oh **** oh dear--I'm the cook and sux to be him! 😳

Put him on ur diet then😃. Make only chicken turkey fish shrimp and frozen or steamed veg. Cook one meal only . 😜 It will make ur life easier.

Why not just make your life simple and buy all the same stuff? If they will eat SF ice cream, buy enough for the house, same with the marinara and Fairlife Milk--FLM is about the same $$ and comes in similar sizes--and ain't nobody need marinara with 12-15 g of carbs in it if you've found a good one they will eat for low/no sugar. I just think segregation makes your life harder and more stressful--clearly not theirs. LOL.

IDK. What kind of "food" is special for you? I just eat the same stuff as the rest of the household...cook the same meals, etc. And no one likes PP that I use sometimes in my coffee now, except me. Otherwise it's all fair game. Can't imagine trying to keep stuff separate?