QueenTiff

Thank you


Tiffani[emoji1528][emoji757]️[emoji175]

Yes you're sooo right everything you just said I'm feeling. You are so right and thank you


Tiffani[emoji1528][emoji757]️[emoji175]

It has been SO much harder than I thought!!

I think the emotional effects on women who are pre-menopausal are not really researched enough. Previously most people who had WLS were older and super morbidly obese.
If you are a menstruating woman, the hormone dump from surgery really does a number on you. Until recently I don't think there have been enough young women having surgery for this to be effectively researched.
I still doubt it will be. No one in the WLS community really cares about the emotional issue post-op until people are either suicidal, drug addicts and alcoholics. Those seem to be the only extremes they recognize.
I'm glad you are feeling better OP.

Thank you and I will always try to be there and support you as well. I'm going through a rough stage after the surgery but I'm not gonna give up and I want to fight and show you that you can do it too


Tiffani️

So I wanted to put this on here because of my recent post. My recent post I had I was in a terrible place and I just wanted support. I'm still in this place of confusion but I'm a fighter and I don't want to give up. I post this because there was so many other people who just basically poured there hearts out to me privately expressing they feel the same way. I know I can't do much for people but I at least want to be a voice for them. So I say if someone cries out for help just listen. All the positivity that I received really helped me. It may sound cliche but I took the advice and gave it to others now I have a bigger support group.
Tiffani️

Im here for you but haven't had surgery yet so i know I can us the good support along this path I am taking.

So I wanted to put this on here because of my recent post. My recent post I had I was in a terrible place and I just wanted support. I'm still in this place of confusion but I'm a fighter and I don't want to give up. I post this because there was so many other people who just basically poured there hearts out to me privately expressing they feel the same way. I know I can't do much for people but I at least want to be a voice for them. So I say if someone cries out for help just listen. All the positivity that I received really helped me. It may sound cliche but I took the advice and gave it to others now I have a bigger support group.
Tiffani️

So I wanted to put this on here because of my recent post. My recent post I had I was in a terrible place and I just wanted support. I'm still in this place of confusion but I'm a fighter and I don't want to give up. I post this because there was so many other people who just basically poured there hearts out to me privately expressing they feel the same way. I know I can't do much for people but I at least want to be a voice for them. So I say if someone cries out for help just listen. All the positivity that I received really helped me. It may sound cliche but I took the advice and gave it to others now I have a bigger support group.
Tiffani️

Thank you I try I hate people bullying other people. Especially because this is something you're average dsy person doesn't deal with this is sooo challenging. Thank you so much


Tiffani[emoji1528][emoji757]️[emoji175]

I'm starting to feel better. I really thank everyone for such love and support. I know I'm not alone I know that this is something people has dealt with, but at this moment when I wrote the post I did feel alone. Moments later I get so many messages saying how people are in the same boat but they are afraid to get shut down. I'm a fighter and I want to be there to help as many people as I can, as people helped me. I'm still fighting I'm still pushing and i thank all of you for you're support


Tiffani️

It's rough out here in these streets lol I got sleeved august 7 and finally on soft food stage. I ate literally one scrambled egg with cheese and was like I can't eat anymore it's a little depressing not gonna lie


Tiffani[emoji1528][emoji757]️[emoji175]

I'm starting to feel better. I really thank everyone for such love and support. I know I'm not alone I know that this is something people has dealt with, but at this moment when I wrote the post I did feel alone. Moments later I get so many messages saying how people are in the same boat but they are afraid to get shut down. I'm a fighter and I want to be there to help as many people as I can, as people helped me. I'm still fighting I'm still pushing and i thank all of you for you're support


Tiffani️

I think you're right. I always been a fire cracker but this set my fire. And food was life to me so yes I am taking it hard. I'm just like you I find food to fill anytime of void I may have so it is a lot. I keep saying I'm going to go to therapy and I never do. Why? I don't know because everything you just said I'm feeling at this moment. I appreciate you sharing because this helps me to know I'm not in this alone. Cause I do feel lonely, I feel misunderstood so thank you I really appreciate it.


Tiffani️

I'm starting to feel better. I really thank everyone for such love and support. I know I'm not alone I know that this is something people has dealt with, but at this moment when I wrote the post I did feel alone. Moments later I get so many messages saying how people are in the same boat but they are afraid to get shut down. I'm a fighter and I want to be there to help as many people as I can, as people helped me. I'm still fighting I'm still pushing and i thank all of you for you're support


Tiffani️

Please stop talking please! Like you wanna go all day with me than let's go. I have a lot of frustrations and you're the perfect person to release it on. It can get real ugly. How ugly you willing to go.


Tiffani[emoji1528][emoji757]️[emoji175]

Thank you I try I hate people bullying other people. Especially because this is something you're average dsy person doesn't deal with this is sooo challenging. Thank you so much


Tiffani[emoji1528][emoji757]️[emoji175]

Dude nobody knows before hand the physiological things of something this intense until it happens. Yes I knew I wasn't going to stuff my face with a full cheeseburger and that's one reason I wanted this from the beginning because I was tired of eating this big ass burger. The journey that leads to where you are sir! If everyone can mentally pull of thoughts we would all be skinny huh? Just like you would be skinny and wouldn't have this surgery in the first place. I agree I need to take it day by day thank you and no thank you to your opinion


Tiffani[emoji1528][emoji757]️[emoji175]

It's rough out here in these streets lol I got sleeved august 7 and finally on soft food stage. I ate literally one scrambled egg with cheese and was like I can't eat anymore it's a little depressing not gonna lie


Tiffani[emoji1528][emoji757]️[emoji175]

I'm starting to feel better. I really thank everyone for such love and support. I know I'm not alone I know that this is something people has dealt with, but at this moment when I wrote the post I did feel alone. Moments later I get so many messages saying how people are in the same boat but they are afraid to get shut down. I'm a fighter and I want to be there to help as many people as I can, as people helped me. I'm still fighting I'm still pushing and i thank all of you for you're support


Tiffani️

Don't feel terrible about McDonald's before I could literally do the same thing it amazes me how much I could eat. It amazes me how little I can eat now. You're right I don't judge you for eating McDonald's my mom said it changes your stomach not your brain. I don't think it's healthy to not have cheat days so I get it and thank you


Tiffani[emoji1528][emoji757]️[emoji175]

It gets better! I know that sounds so cliche but I JUST started to feel better about the surgery and I'm 7 weeks post op.
I was having a hard time adjusting and still do some days. It sucks not being able to go out and eat like before. I've had some cheat days since surgery though. You will be able to eat the foods you enjoy just not yet. They tell you not to because they aren't the healthiest choices, but you can eat them. I just eat in moderation. Also, I can't even eat much.
Let's put it this way...before surgery I could go to McDonald's and get a 10 piece nugget meal large with fries and a coke AND a quarter pound burger and eat it all....f**king terrible right?
Now, I can't even finish 4 chicken nuggets (a happy meal).
While I probably shouldn't be eating this...it's not like I'm eating like I did before.

My fam has made spaghetti and I can only eat a few bites and a couple meatballs and i'm full.
So yeah, I get to eat normal things just not much of it.

And for anyone who is reading this thinking i'm terrible...oh well. Not all of us are perfect patients.

Point is...I don't indulge like I did before...like I was sooo bad before surgery. I'm also not saying to create these bad habits and eat bad all the time, but now and again...you can enjoy yourself.
If I couldn't eat certain things for the rest of my life...it would freaking suck.
Also, my mom brought up a good point to me when I felt regretful after surgery. "Well you've done it honey, and you can't change it or go back. so all you can do is make the best of it now".

In the words of Rodney King..."Can we all just get along?". I hate going into threads and seeing people argue. We are all here to support each other. That is the reason for even developing this site. I was in a thread for Veterans the other day, and it appears a lot of Veterans left because of people forming sides and arguing with each other. There are some threads that people create just purely because they need support and encouraging words. They don't want to feel judged.
Others are trying to help, but come off as judging or putting those people down. I get it. Tough love and all. Let's just agree that QueenTiff's feelings are real feelings, and expressing them here is what she needed to do to maybe find others that feel the same way. We are all different, and go through this experience differently....But let's try to be supportive, and offer advice or our experiences, in a way that is not sugar coated, but empathetic to the user that is asking for help/guidance.
Jaminator, I get that you are trying to be helpful, and I understand what you were trying to say. In my experience, it is not what someone means when they say something, it is the way it is taken by people that receive that information.
I hope we can move forward with empathy and respect toward one another. Man, I sound like this surgery has taken away some of my testosterone! How bout them Cowboys!

I am on week 3 post op and I feel like I made the biggest mistake in my life. I'm reading how my favorite foods is a no go and I'll never eat it in my life again. Here I am struggling to meet my goal of Protein and Water. I can't enjoy life with my friends. I'm over this sleeve people who wants to get it I tell them don't. I'm trying to find the beauty in all this but right now I feel like I ruined my life.
Tiffani️

And in an earlier post you said "put off these kind of thoughts..."

That's stuffing. Maybe you meant something else, but QueenTiff is right when she says you just basically told her to stuff her emotions.

Maybe you were never given space to express and process your own emotions. Most men are not. Your interactions on this thread are quite hateful. This could be a good opportunity for you to stop speaking, start listening and processing your own "put off" thoughts so that others around you can have the space to do so too without such harsh criticism.