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brandyII last won the day on May 17 2008

brandyII had the most liked content!

About brandyII

  • Rank
    Bariatric Hero
  • Birthday 04/20/1960

About Me

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    Saratoga County
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  1. Man I'm starting to lose faith in you people, grab your torches why don't you and run everyone who doesn't agree with you out of town! What a welcoming to a person with a complication. Maybe she didn't come across the way you wanted her to but you immediately assume the worse from the woman and think she's got some major plot going on to send all people to Mexico! I just don't understand a lot of you????? sorry brandyII
  2. brandyII

    self esteem

    KatW, Thanks I needed to hear that and you are a very insightful person. I think some of us learn this lesson at a later age than others. I wish I could have felt as good about myself now as I had when I was younger and even thinner or fatter. Maybe it's a blessing that comes with age, who knows. I have ridden the self esteem roller coaster with my husband. I met him in 1978 and we've been together pretty much ever since. When he first met me I was fat and saw me go up and down with my weight and never said anything derogatory about it. He didn't have to because of my self loathing during that time I took care of it for both of us and it was a toxic part of our relationship, not the fat but my self loathing. This gift of self esteem that I'm acquiring now by actually studying and also learning from you great peeps is a gift that I've also giving to him and our relationship. Is a marriage or relationship better with a happy person or a miserable one? It doesn't really matter if my body is fat or thin to him it's how I am inside that counts. It may sound crazy to most people who read this, but it's very true for me at least. Sex is not just an expression of lust, although that part is nice but you're expressing to one another how much you love and appreciate them in a physical, emotional and mental sense. Everything always goes to sex in these threads!!! Thanks, brandyII, one who is working on her self esteem at this point in time and hopes to continue to do so even if she is berated by a few miserable people who don't seem to get it...................:redface:
  3. brandyII

    self esteem

    Georgiag, I'll move on when people stop posting me about it! This is not my first negative encounter with Jachut and will not be my last.:redface: I'm still passionate about everything I've said and she's moved on to Rants and Raves so unless you want to discuss self esteem in the Mental Health and Lapband Life Social Group you should probably move on also because this is not the appropriate place for it, thanks brandyII:thumbup:
  4. brandyII

    Come out of the band failure closet!

    Thanks for your professional advise, I find you charming as well:thumbup:
  5. brandyII

    Small Steps to Increase Confidence

    Sounds good Molly, your pic always makes me smile! brandyII:thumbup:
  6. brandyII

    Small Steps to Increase Confidence

    Well one thing affecting my confidence is my body, not my mind or my personality but my body. I've heard that you should take a look at yourself in the mirror, naked, full length and instead of doing the typical thing we normally do and go and pick out our problem areas or not even be able to disrobe and look at ourselves in the mirror but really look at yourself and say what you like about your body. It's kind of a scary thing for a lot of people especially women, but that is an assumption. I know men are just as body conscious as women but they do have a tendency to pee in public so it's a little different! Anyway, I like the way my arms are even though my MIL thinks they're too fat! Okay I've said it, I like my pudgy arms. Remember now you have to train yourself to say what you like and don't focus on your negatives, everyone has positives and we are our harshest critics, well most of the time:wink_smile: brandyII
  7. brandyII

    self esteem

    Jachut, first of all I owe you an apology as I called the post I typed from my email setting your "original" post and I was wrong. That post was obviously edited because in the original one you referred to my way of thinking as "utter twaddle". I still have no idea what that means so maybe you should enlighten me. I'd appreciate it. I also took the time to respond to your first post, prior to your editing of it and prior to erasing the whole thing and replacing it with a whole "new" post. My passion remains although your "original post" does not! Not all of us have self esteem and some of it or most of it has been related to our weight problems growing up from childhood into adulthood. Sometimes we need to learn to overcome the negativity brought on through the years by others and ourselves and society in general. Becoming a healthy smaller size person is wonderful but does not necessary equal self esteem. If I were an animal I'd be a bear, warm and fuzzy on the outside but come near my den and my cubs and I'll attack. There are always a "few" that have fallen through the cracks and they may need a bit more attention in this world and a little more help along as they make their journey. Why attack a thread where we're discussing self esteem in a Mental Health support group which was started for those of us who have issues with weight relative to "mental health issues"? If you want to attack me personally do it through a PM I really don't care or do it on any thread I've posted in the Rants and Raves Section but there's got to be safe places where we can go and discuss without being attacked in such away, peace and thank you, brandyII:thumbup:
  8. brandyII

    self esteem

    Sorry Jachut but I don't like responding to a post and then having you actually remove the whole thing and replace it with a totally new one so I had to type it up, hope I did you justice, brandyII.:smile:
  9. brandyII

    self esteem

    Jachut, I think you and I maybe polar opposites, we are in theory and probably geographically as well! It's okay I know I piss the heck out of you! I not familiar with the phrase "utter twaddle" but I'm assuming it's similar to what bulls do when they take a poop! This is a Mental Health and Lap Band Life thread, part of a Social Group and not the Rant and Raves Section, just thought I'd remind you of that in case you didn't know. We're all very complicated people and some people here are still considered "obese" so maybe all the "get off your fat ass" stuff maybe a bit humiliating and hurtful in our eyes. It is in mine so I'm sure I'm not alone in that feeling. Is it wrong to interact with others here who also may have low self esteems because of their weight issues to try to get beyond it and feel better about ourselves during our weight loss journeys? Are we only allowed to feel good about ourselves once we've gotten off our fat asses and stopped watching TV and eating bon bons and lost that extra weight? I'm sorry but that's screwed up and we do not need to feel like dirt just because of our size. And I find it insulting that someone would be that critical of fat people who once was fat herself admittedly. You may have disliked yourself but we do not have to hate ourselves just because we are fat!!! Does it bother you that I haven't lost enough weight yet by your standards but still have a lap band but am trying to survive my life day to day and am discussing various topics on this forum? Why does one person upset you so much? You seem to have taken a very militant way of losing weight for yourself and almost remind me of a Marine Corp Sergeant barking out commands at times. You still needed the lap band to use as your tool and it worked for you and your whole approach as you've stated has made you the woman you are today, a much thinner, stronger, healthier person and that's wonderful but don't assume your approach works for everyone! I've never said it was easy for your either, just that it has worked for you. I tend to believe that obesity is a bit more complicated than you wish to believe. You yourself know that a person your age, sex, weight who has never been overweight maybe able to take in more calories than you and not gain. I am not a doctor but I know that weight loss is more difficult for some people, (God I know it wasn't easy for you either!) and we cannot discount that fact! I don't know why you always turn this into a war between "THIN and FAT" with you. I'm sure if you need statistics I could go there on the benefits that thin people have always had over fat people but I think it's fairly obvious. Fat people deserve as much dignity and happiness as anyone else in our world. Do you disagree with that statement and personally do you actually hate fat people and find them disgusting because I'm getting that vibe from you? Do you really think the thin people in our society are getting the shaft??? Not every fat person is an addict. Some maybe but not all! And there are those who don't even believe food is an addictive source like alcohol or drugs are. There are many factors that can affect one's weight. Having obese parents, being obese from childhood to name a few, your situation is a bit different or am I wrong, you did say you didn't gain weight until you had children. I don't think you understand the minds of obese people and tend to be a bit too judgmental with us. Anyway I'm not trying to be your enemy but do resent the fact that you have to attack me when I'm trying to build up my self esteem and help others also. I don't believe we have to wait until we're thin to have it, sorry brandyII.:confused_smile:
  10. I guess only slim people should work out! When I bought my treadmill I was probably around 230 and there was a weight limit of 250 so no one else in the family who is over 250 will use it which sucks. My husband picked it out so I don't know why he didn't check! Since I'm closer to 250 now I can feel the strain on the treadmill (poor baby) but I have had it for a few years. The first treadmill we got rid of but I had to replace the board that was under the belt at least twice. What about a recumbent bike? Do you like those? I don't like bikes myself and tend to screw up my hips on them but didn't know if you've tried them before and liked them, you're much younger!! brandyII.:confused_smile:
  11. brandyII

    I hate it when people post just to post.....

    I know it's hard not to measure your success on the scale but do you feel better that's the goal!
  12. brandyII

    Want to change the "focus"

    I don't have any physical limitations but can understand those of you that do. I guess I'm kind of built like my dad (a horse) so I'm big boned and have strong legs, although I have had varicose veins but got those from my mom who was thin and I was always crossing my legs! I am the same way about hating my picture taken and that's not my fault, it's how I viewed myself as I thought others were viewing me. Does that make sense? I want to get to a place where I can have my picture taken and not go over it with a fine tooth comb and look for every flaw, starting naturally with the double chin! We all have to do what we have to do to feel good about ourselves and in turn be the best moms, wifes, husbands, fathers, people etc....I don't think my children or grandchildren will not like me because of my weight as long as I can still be a loving parent, grandparent (whenever that happens). I never wanted to be the kind of mother that nitpicked over every thing my child ate as she would be fat or how she looked as she would not be attractive enough. I just always felt that didn't work for me and found it to be very insensitive and hurtful. I know that's a totally different thing sort of went off the topic there so forgive me, brandyII.:biggrin:
  13. brandyII

    self esteem

    Though I do understand your drive I still am shocked to hear (read) what you said about yourself. Were you overweight all your life or only after some time in your adult life just curious. I can't change how you feel/felt about yourself but the comment about what it said about you, lazy, unmotivated, careless, seems more society driven than anything else. It appears to be some major self-loathing and seems :biggrin: brandyII.
  14. brandyII

    self esteem

    Can you be an overweight person and have a good self esteem?
  15. brandyII

    I hate it when people post just to post.....

    I find it harder to shop if I'm under too much pressure!

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