coyote

Hey y'all! I'll be 2 years post-op in July and I've fallen off the wagon. I never experienced the huge weight loss that I saw many people here experience, and I had a lot of life stressors that quickly made me run back to bad habits. I don't blame the sleeve at all - it's only a tool after all, and it can only work miracles if I allow it to. In fact, even without the extreme weight loss it's probably been the best decision I've ever made for myself. I've been able to maintain an 55lb loss, and the sleeve keeps my eating mostly in check, but that's not enough for me. I didn't go through months of pain and suffering only to lose 2 pants sizes and one shirt size. I've been fatigued, depressed, and unmotivated for the past two years. Getting up in the morning took all the strength I had, and my joint and muscle pain never went away like my doctors had surmised. I had relationship problems, job problems, and turned back to the only friend that's consistently been there for me (food). Honestly, 2017 Coyote wasn't prepared for this surgery. I wasn't ready (or in the best state of mind) to put in the work. I had labs done in January and my iron and Vitamin-D2 levels were at critically low levels and I was prescribed Wellbutrin which was supposed to help with my weight loss. I have a new job, my relationship situation is improving, and I want to focus on myself again. I've opened a gym membership and I'm actually enrolling in therapy this time. I'm cooking meals at home and avoiding any food establishment with a drive-thru. I still feel like I've failed. Sleevers, how can I climb back on that wagon when it feels like it's miles ahead of me and I'll never catch up? Has anyone flubbed their weight loss but managed to get it together years later? Desperately looking for answers, Coyote

Thank you all so much! I've been avoiding coming back here because I was afraid of people totally railing me for not sticking to the program... I don't do well with tough love! But I realized it's me that I've been afraid of. I've been my absolute worst enemy, and I constantly tell myself I'm worthless and knew I'd fail. I'd never let someone else treat me that way, so why I do I do this to myself? Thanks to you all for your support. I'm officially heading back on track and I'm so excited about that. I went to the grocery store this afternoon and picked up so many bariatric-friendly foods and have started reading sleeve stories about failure and redemption. I know I can do it, and I think you all will start seeing me around here again. Coyote

Hey all! I've grown an aversion to protein drinks (Premier was the only one I could stomach and now it makes me sick) and I'm still feeling a lot of restriction with solid foods so I can't get much in. I know I'm not getting all of my daily protein and I'm paying the price with hair loss, fatigue, low weight loss, etc. I have a bag of Genepro protein and I can't stand the taste of it mixed in drinks and food but I think I could handle quickly drinking a "shot" of protein powder mixed with water or some other liquid. I have 2oz cups I can mix it in, kind of like the cups with protein that they give you in the hospital after surgery. If anyone has tried this, what was the result? Is there an issue with quickly drinking 30g of protein? Just a texture/taste thing?

I bought New Whey in grape from GNC and I love it! I'm 6 months out so I can handle solid protein just fine but I'll drink a half bottle to reach 80g protein. I was using unflavored GenePro and eventually got to where the smell and taste was making me nauseated. What flavors have you tried and which one is your favorite?

The past month and a half I've fallen back on bad habits, too. I've made a lot of excuses that are valid (work is stressful, home is stressful, the holidays) but not valid enough to stop caring about myself. I'm so sorry that you're also dealing with this but as selfish as it sounds I'm also a little relieved to know that I'm not alone in this battle. I stopped browsing the forums because people were dropping 10-15lbs a month and I've dropped 14lbs since October 20th. It triggered an emotional response in me to say that I'm a failure because I'm not keeping up with the crowd and I went into "f*** it all" mode with my self-care and eating. I was simply in a plateau and sabotaged myself. After the sabotage stress started my hair started falling out by the handfuls and I've easily lost half its volume. It sent me spiraling into a depression through November and December that is still lingering. I'm seeking help from my surgeon-approved therapist. The positives: I haven't gained any weight and I'm easily making my water goals. I haven't drank any soda or sugary drinks and I love unsweetened tea. My clothes aren't any tighter and some days feel looser (likely water weight). The negatives: I've stopped exercising, eating well, taking my vitamins, getting enough protein, and de-stressing. I haven't been meal prepping or tracking my calories. I can eat an entire Wendy's nugget and fries kids meal with a little restriction. We had a winter storm last weekend and I went out and bought groceries to last a few days for my partner and myself - he's a garbage gut with a fast metabolism and loves everything I shouldn't have. I loaded up the cart with crap and snacked on it all weekend. I felt horrible the next day and decided to log everything I'd consumed the day before. My wake-up call was logging 2,000 calories of pure junk. This wasn't a normal day but I could see how it could turn into one if I kept down the path I was going. I cleaned off the treadmill. burned a couple hundred calories, and decided I was going to turn this around. Yesterday I was full and satisfied on 900 calories of pure, real food and protein. Now that we're physically healed from the surgery this has become 100% a battle of the mind. I know I've screwed up but I can get back on track. We all can.

Thanks! I'll check out that powder. My nutritionist required us to use Genepro for our supplement and I've also read the lawsuit against the company. Very interesting stuff.

Hi jenn1, thanks for the reply. I'm almost 4 months post-op and my restriction is still incredibly high which makes it difficult to get in the protein I need. Believe me when I say I'd much rather have real food than a protein supplement. I'll give the protein water a try.

Hi Zoxie! Congratulations on the surgery! My gas pains mostly went away about 5 days after surgery. It took a full 14 days until I was able to walk around without crouching over and shuffling and it was close to 9 days before I had my first bowel movement. Bathroom trips are probably going to change I was super regular pre-op and now I'm lucky if I go 2 or 3 times a week - I'm almost 4 months post-op. Make sure you keep up your water intake so you don't get constipated when you move into soft and solid foods. I also had a scratching/burning sensation in my chest and stomach that was very painful. I thought it was gas but learned it was stomach acid; I never had acid reflux until my surgery so it was scary! In my experience, drinking a lot of water helped keep it away, as well as taking a Pepcid chewable as needed. I also learned my trigger foods (anything with tomato, spicy foods, coffee) and avoided them until my acid production was reduced which took about 3 1/2 months. Please reach out if you need anything! There's a great community here who will support and encourage.

Many people stall around 2-3 weeks. Check around the forums and you'll see plenty of threads with the same fears. Keep following your doctor/nutritionist guidelines, give it another week or two, and it'll sort out. Hang in there!

Whose with me on July 17th with your sleeve surgery?! I finished the last of my pre-op assessments yesterday at 5pm. Received my surgery packets and antibacterial wash to use the morning of the surgery. I'm excited but so nervous I could throw up! I started this journey in January and can't believe how quickly it got here.

@Sassyprassy I notice a difference! You look wonderful!

7/17/2017!

How many calories are you eating and have you been measuring yourself as well as weighing? You could be forcing your body into "starvation mode" if you're not balancing out your calories in vs calories out. When did you get your surgery?

Hi Faith8, I completely agree with Introversion's advice. Everything that you said mirrors my exact situation. I've been fighting Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome for 16 years and there's never been a time in my life where weight loss was easy. I'm sure you also did every fad diet under the sun only to find that you gained the weight back quickly (and more came with it) when you started back on old habits. If you're an over-eater the sleeve will definitely help due to the restriction you will feel once you start eating solid and semi-solid foods again...if you try to overeat you will be physically uncomfortable or may even vomit so it will keep you in "check". The first couple of weeks are going to be incredibly scary and you may regret your decision....give it some time and be kind to yourself. The surgery you just had is going to change your life for the better even if you can't fathom it right now. I was sleeved on July 17th (13 weeks) and for the first 4 weeks I obsessively Googled, "Will I ever enjoy food again?" about 5 times a day! All of the answers were a resounding yes! For the first month focus on your 64oz water goals and protein goals. You're not going to feel like drinking anything so keep the sips small but consistent. My nutritionist recommended drinking bottled water poured into a cup of Sonic ice so I could track how much I was drinking via the empty bottles. The cold water sort of numbed things and I was able to increase my intake each day, though I wasn't consistently making my 64oz-a-day until probably week 4. I also paid dearly for it (constipation, headaches) so don't be like me! My NUT also said I could have watered down light apple juice and it went down incredibly easy but I found it was a trigger food for me so I had to cut it out of my diet. Speaking of trigger foods and food addiction: please allow yourself to seek help if you think you need it. At 3 months out I can take in about 2x what I could at 1 month and I can feel that little evil voice creeping in and telling me to finish my plate even though I'm full and even if it'll make me a little uncomfortable. I'm planning on seeing a therapist soon because I don't want to sabotage my "honemoon" period and with PCOS my numbers have already slowed down but I'm still losing. Since you've recognized that you have an addiction you may want to start now so you can have the tools to fight the addition if the situation ever arises. I thought my sleeve would take care of my relationship with food and undoubtedly it's helped probably 75% - when the boss brings in warm, gooey donuts on a Friday I can pass right by them and not think twice...when my partner opens a new bag of Dorito's Cooler Ranch, my chip of choice, the smell actually makes me a little nauseated (score!)...but when I have a salmon filet on my plate and I've eaten 2/3 and it was just SO GOOD, I can convince myself to finish the rest. Little things like that will add up to big things when our belly can take in much more food than it can now so tackle it head-on and set yourself up for long-term success. This surgery is a miracle for us with PCOS because we're so used to breaking our hump only to lose 2lbs in a month. I don't know your numbers but to put it into perspective I started 295 January 10th and lost the same stupid 5lbs until my strict pre-op starting June 24th. I weight 281 on surgery day and weighed 239 this morning. It seems to be a lot slower than other members but I'm happy and looking forward to how my body doesn't hurt as much as it used to, how I sleep so much better, and how my relationship with food was forced to change. I hope any of this helped and just remember to take great care of yourself. You can always reach out to me if you need anything.

Happy 3-month surg-iversary! Does anyone still hang around the forums? My weight loss this month has been disappointing to say the least, but any loss is good. I have fibromyalgia and my body kills me at the end of the day so I've been using that as an excuse to get out of working out! I'm going to make that change tonight so I can see double digits next month. I'm losing inches and I'm almost in an 18 (started in a 22/24) and I'm at the point where people can notice a difference. I was late for work yesterday and instead of taking the elevator I ran up the stairs and noticed when I sat down at my desk I wasn't out of breath. Win! Still having some issues with acid reflux but it's getting a little better. I have a strange taste in my mouth like burned rubber that comes and goes and I'm pretty sure it's coming from the acid production. I see my surgical team on Friday so I'll ask them about it. Otherwise everything has been pretty standard and uneventful. How's everyone else doing?

Hugs!!! He doesn't have a brother, but I do have a very dear (and very single) best friend who is also going through his own weight loss journey! He said my VSG inspired him to take control of his own issues so we've been dropping weight together like champs!

That's not a great idea. I don't understand why so many people want to test their stomach, especially this early out...you run the risk of leaking at the staple line which could kill you. I was on liquids for 2 weeks and was maybe able to eat 2oz of puree before I got the hiccups/"full" signal.

You have always been worth dating. I hope you never forget that. Has this guy told you he has an issue with your weight or is that your perception? Some people are genuinely afraid of dating bigger folks (both guys and gals, it goes both ways) or being labeled a "chubby chaser". Society makes us feel like a fetish. I met my thin, fit partner on a video game when I was 225lbs. We fell for each other before we exchanged pictures and once we finally did, I sent him the "myspace" angles, nipped and tucked a little in photoshop, and hoped when we met he could see past the real, fat me and like me for who he thought I was. I got sick of keeping up the photographical lie and one day sent him a full body photo and said "this is who I am - take me or leave me". 24 hours later he made a 600-mile trip to meet me in person, moved in 8 months later, and we've been together for a total 5 years. He watched me struggle with an eating addiction that stemmed from my childhood and lose 30lbs, only to put on 100lbs. He's exercised beside me and did crazy diets with me when I felt like thinness was my only way to happiness, and encouraged me to seek therapy to get my mother's aggressive, hateful words out of my head. He attended VSG orientation, held my hand for hours in the hospital bed before surgery, and slept 2 nights beside me in a crappy hospital chair while I recovered. My point is that there is someone who is thrilled to date you at all stages in your life. The good, bad, fat, thin, poor, wealthy, sick, healthy...and those who think you look amazing when you can't even look in a mirror. There are also those who will threaten to leave when you no longer fit their idea of what someone should look like. Spend your energy on the ones that make you feel good now and forever, not ones who hold stipulations.

Hey all~ I was sleeved July 17th and I've been struggling and frustrated but I know there will be some disappointments along the way. I see my face slimming down but I'm bouncing between the same two pounds (248-250) for almost a month. My last "official" weigh-in was Sept. 4th at the NUT office and I was 254. When I weighed at home a few days before that appointment I was 250. I'm constantly on here preaching patience but I don't seem to have any for myself! I'm denying myself access to my scale for a while because I can see this is working, if slowly. I was really dehydrated last weekend and had an impacted bowel as a result. Would not recommend. For two weeks I became addicted to drinking milk and making my own protein-packed sugar-free iced latte at home every morning. It would fill me up and I didn't have much room left for water but I saw the scale drop 4lbs the week I started and I was thrilled...so I kept doing it. Won't make that mistake again! I'm 99% sure the dehydration is affecting my numbers. The edema has also returned in my right leg so I saw my PCP and she said she's sure it isn't a blood clot and to increase water. No more milk for a while! I've been on soft foods since Sept. 4th and everything has went down just fine. Through this journey I haven't vomited or felt anything being stuck in my throat. Sometimes I'll get a wave of nausea and I'll feel my mouth salivate in waiting but nothing happens. I can pretty comfortable take in 3-4oz of fish, chicken, etc. but I have to take it slow enough that my food is usually cold by the 3rd bite. Food just isn't fun for me anymore, but neither was being tired and overweight. I never had GERD before surgery but I have it now. If I drink too much coffee, more than 2 shots of decaf espresso a day, or anything tomato-based it bubbles in my belly. There are days where everything bubbles at the end of the day but I combat that with a Pepcid and a bottle of water. I hope this doesn't stay forever. Also, weird question - can someone explain what stomach acid tastes like? I ask because I sometimes get a whiff or taste in my mouth during the day that I can only describe as burned rubber. My bowel movements sometimes smell the same way and it freaked me out for a while.

I'm just over 2 months out and I've been stalled for almost 3 weeks. I think this is a pretty normal thing so don't let it get into your head. Up your protein and water, take your vitamins, and soon you should see the scale move. Like others have mentioned, my clothes are still getting looser and I can see my face slimming down. Also - get off that scale! Best thing I ever did...I weighed every day for a month and a half and the stress of a stalled scale was really affecting me.

My nutritionist also counts them as a meal and we had to follow the "no water 30 min before/after" rule. Since they were a meal we weren't supposed to drink a whole shake in a sitting but split it up 2oz every 2 hours and drink water in between. Your nutritionist may have a different way of doing things. Hope that helps!

Acid in my belly feels like hunger and makes a hissing sound if I stand up straight. I'm almost 2 months out and I still have pretty bad acid production and take Omeprazole in the morning and one Pepcid in the evening. I have to remind myself it isn't hunger.

Hey surgery date sister! I'm also curious about this! Last week I accidentally grabbed my partner's Sprite cup thinking it was my water cup and holy hell did it burn. I never really had a taste for soda to begin with - sweet tea was my downfall - but I was surprised with how painful it was.

My total surgery took about 30 minutes from start to finish. It was also my first surgery and I was only nervous once I put on the hospital gown and started prepping. I actually had to sit for almost 3 hours and wait for my spot in the surgical room so I had a lot of time to reflect on what was about to happen but it wasn't bad! I was more anxious to get it over with.

Hi GotProlactinoma! It sounds like your stomach is healing and the restriction may be going down. I was sleeved 2 days before you so I'm also able to take in more than I could 2 or 3 weeks out. A lot of our success is going to be mental. Have you considered talking with a professional about your food cravings? My surgeon's office highly suggests it for us and says it will help work through cravings, food addictions, etc. I say this because I've also suddenly started craving carbs and junk food again but I didn't get this sleeve to fall back into old habits. Something has triggered it and it's either stress or something I'm eating. Don't worry, I'm sure this is totally normal for many of us and it's just an extra hurdle towards our success.