GreenTealael

"Bullying" as a word has almost lost meaning, so I'm not going to get too hung up on that, but exclusionary/conformist behavior due to power imbalance is usually what's seen as bullying in an online community. Power imbalance online is absolutely a real and quantifiable thing. Sometimes the person exhibiting the behavior doesn't realize they're doing it - as far as they're concerned, they're just giving their opinion. But when that opinion-giving is done in a tone that clearly isn't sitting well with the recipient, and when the opinion-giver has reputational clout on the board (either through lots of posts that get lots of likes or through people who quote them and boost their signal), that can end up being isolating. It doesn't help when the opinion-giver's response to pushback is an unapologetic "I'm just being real", which pretty much carries the silent closer "...you wimp". The opinion-giver walks away thinking the recipient is crying wolf about being attacked and the recipient sees nothing but arrogance and swagger, and typically exits the space because of the unpleasant encounter. The internet's weird in that it forces us to over-rely on ONE form of communication that's a relatively modern invention: text. That removes body language, tone, expression, and it also tends to drag out flare-ups that WOULD be about 3 minutes in person to a 3-day back-and-forth. So it festers. If both sides dig in and other commenters join, it turns into a big stupid thing when in perspective, anyone looking at the situation would be amazed it blew up at all. I was a moderator on a global platform for a few years enforcing community codes, and these are the ground rules I've come away with: If someone tells you they don't like your tone or that you're bullying them, disengage. It's not worth it, no argument about tone EVER ends well, and it will be an exercise in frustration. Dial back on your engagement in that thread and refocus on the subject being discussed rather than the participants. Do not give in to the temptation to go overboard and attempt to isolate the person you don't like by railroading discussion away from them - that's petty as hell. Just focus in a normal way on other elements of the thread. You do not need to fight for your honor in this situation, just walk away. If two people tell you they don't like your tone, it's worth trying to put yourself in their shoes and re-reading your posts. Sometimes sass comes off as rudeness or dismissiveness. Determine for yourself if you want to modify the way you write - some people believe being "true to their personality" is worth pissing a few people off, others ease off the sharp edges a bit so they get into fewer tiffs and more worthwhile discussion. If you find yourself routinely on the receiving end of a bullying accusation, think about your role in the community. Sometimes it's not just your behavior in isolation, it's the knock-on impact of your friends on the site who end up making the other poster feel ganged up on. If you're a member in good standing on the site and you've got a lot of onsite friends and you all tend to agree with each other, realize that this might come across as mob rule. With great power comes great responsibility, etc etc - rather than just seeing yourself as a single commenter, acknowledge your role as part of a clique and do what you can to manage those interactions so they're less overwhelming for outsiders. If you're a spectator on one of these threads (or a clique member), DO NOT PILE ON once things get prickly. Do not join a side. Post about the topic at hand instead to redirect discussion. Targeting and exclusion online are very real things, and there have definitely been instances on this site. There are some people who cry "bullying" just because someone disagrees with them and they have a victim complex, but they're relatively rare. Usually it's a real response to feeling ganged up on, shouted down or interpreting tone as mean-spirited. Does that mean one person has to accept the title of "bully" and the other victimhood? No. It just means that for an online community to be welcoming we all need to be aware of the drawbacks of a text-only mode of communication where each individual interprets tone differently, and where power is accrued through reputation and history. Thought provoking HW 270 SW 238 CW 182 VSG 11/7 [emoji146][emoji146][emoji146]

Wow HW 270 SW 238 CW 182 VSG 11/7 [emoji146][emoji146][emoji146]

Wow HW 270 SW 238 CW 182 VSG 11/7 [emoji146][emoji146][emoji146]

I agree More kindness is needed HW 270 SW 238 CW 182 VSG 11/7 [emoji146][emoji146][emoji146]

I was speaking generally I have seen it on a few threads over the months I've been on the site I have no knowledge of any specific situation at this time HW 270 SW 238 CW 182 VSG 11/7 [emoji146][emoji146][emoji146]

Ok HW 270 SW 238 CW 182 VSG 11/7 [emoji146][emoji146][emoji146]

Same boat, would love to hear advice on this also...

So i guess the better question is how to tell when the line has been crossed and how to fix it because online interactions are different than in person dealings Also I like to leave politics to the politicians ...

This post is not about politics at all..

I have seen it happen here

Something else to consider ...

Hmmm Something to think about

Cyber bullying is another animal completely...

Lol that cant be the reason

no across all social media

The behaviour is not new but im talking about the up swinging trend, have you noticed it becoming more frequent or no?

Yes the trolling is out of control everywhere i turn on social media, personal attacks are so unnecessary I agree some people are thin skinned others nothing affects them

Lapband , unless im wrong again lol

The aweful truth

I think alot of people are generally like this , but the others... Im Just glad that words dont physically hurt (but they can i guess)

Lol so fruit is the 8th deadly sin lol I ate 454 g of watermelon in 2 days, it was wonderful. I planto do it again next month fruit and veggies are my ❤❤❤, i generally feel better with them in my life

Im not going to lie ... I thought LB was Lane Bryant And i came to congratulate your weightloss lol STILL Congrats on the transition

Girl , have your coffee add some protein to it Life is short

Too many cals right? Ditch the liquid cals while you can On another note about trying new things outside, i had espresso around two weeks out from surgery to mix with my protein shake. It was a poor decision. I left me shakey etc. My program allowed for decaf but i forgot to order it. Any reason not to have just plain coffee? Ask your NUT and if you do have it, best in a controlled environment just incase it does not agree with you. Speedy recovery!

Using a bath towel instead of a bath sheet