Cheryl Ann

My surgeon is also Dr. Ren, but I went for a visit this morning (had a fill), and saw Dr. Schwack. Found him to be so warm, personable and funny! I really liked him.

Now I'm finding that the band is too loose; I guess I will need to fine-tune things. It actually makes me nervous, not having enough restriction. Too much is no good, but too little is downright scary to me. The loss of control looms.

You know, I never thought of it that way -- that I have successfully kept weight off -- because I figured the band really does the lion's share of the work. But now that you pointed out that in almost two years of what turned out to be an overfill I'm only 5 lbs. over, I guess I should feel pretty good about it. But still, without the band even that would not have been possible. Although I would still like to lose a lot more, just having lost what I have is not only weight that I wouldn't have lost without the band (optimally-adjusted or not), but I can't help but think how much heavier I would be above and beyond what I was when I was first banded. The weight just kept on piling on -- there was no leveling off in sight. So to even be what I am now is an incredible thing. Still, I'm going to go forward and try to continue losing again. And if I feel I need an adjustment again, this time I won't wait so long!

A couple of weeks ago, I posted about having felt like a failure because in the three years since I was banded, I only managed to lose 60 pounds out of the 100 or so I actually needed to lose in order to make goal. (See liquids for a couple of weeks preceding my appointment today at NYU, and the symptoms largely subsided. I also managed to lose about 6 lbs -- a nice bonus, and proof that you CAN lose again after having not lost weight for a period of time. I had the esophagram this morning, followed by a visit to the office. It turned out that my band hadn't slipped -- but that I was extraordinarily tight. I had suffered needlessly for all that time when all I needed was to get off my lazy ass and go for an adjustment. I was at 6.2cc in a 10cc band. 0.5cc were removed, and the difference is amazing. It turns out that I am only 5 lbs. above what I was last time I was in the office (June of 2009), and was told that losing should actually be a lot easier now that I'm looser. Sounds contradictory, but it does make sense. I was compensating for my difficulties with eating by ingesting foods and liquids that went down more easily -- and also ate/drank more frequently. Now that I should be having an easier time with food, I should be able to eat more sensibly and, more importantly, keep it down. I feel like I just dodged a bullet. This was most definitely my lucky day -- St. Paddy's Day!

Thank you all so very, very much. All your words are truly words to live by. I think my biggest mistake was not staying here on the boards -- if even to lurk -- because by keeping my distance I lost my sole source of support. Of course, my husband and kids are encouraging enough, but there's nothing like others who have been there. I will definitely be "hanging around" here, even if I don't post all that often. I will definitely update you all on my esophogram and visit at NYU next week. Again, thanks SO much!

I've been on liquid and soft foods for the past week or so...have lost about three pounds in the meantime, which is encouraging. What has puzzled me for a long time is that (prior to this possible slip) I was at times unable to keep even liquids down, and yet at other times able to eat a solid meal with no issues whatsoever -- even more than what I thought I'd be capable of. Usually, my inability to keep down food happens at home -- the kids running around a fighting, etc. -- and my ability to enjoy an entire meal without having to run to the bathroom at a restaurant with other people. I suppose tension plays a role (as well as time of day, definitely). I just hope my band hasn't slipped. I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

I was banded on April 7, 2008 -- almost three years ago -- and went from around 250+ pounds to around 190. That in itself isn't exactly an entirely successful weight loss story, largely because I've never quite learned to eat slowly as I should, nor have I been able to keep away from sweets entirely (although lately I've been better). In the past several year or so, my weight has creeped up to around 201. I haven't been back to see my surgeon in more than a year and a half; I've been too ashamed, and frankly am afraid I will be a disappointment to her. I now have a visit scheduled for next week -- along with an esophogram, for which I am also long overdue. The reason I finally called for an appointment and esophogram is that I'm afraid my band may have slipped. Although it doesn't happen every night, some nights I cough constantly, spitting up Fluid onto my pillow. Other nights, I seem to "foam" constantly, requiring that I run to the bathroom to spit. Other nights -- like last night -- I've had no problem whatsoever. I was given a gift -- a new start that so many people would give anything to have -- and didn't make full use of it as I should have. If it turns out the band hasn't slipped, can I still lose weight if I try, even at this stage of the game (three years later)? If it has, does it have to be removed? Even though I have not lost all the weight I had intended, I can't say that I'm entirely unhappy; after all, I'm still considerably thinner than I was three years ago, even with the recent weight gain (which seems to have leveled off). I feel like such a failure, because I am.

I'm terrible at remembering to take Vitamins (I think it's because I have five pills to take every morning to begin with, and somehow manage to "forget" the vitamin), but was repulsed at the taste of children's chewables. Now I know why I found a hidden cache of tossed vitamins in the bottom of my son's closet, lol! They really are awful! I haven't found a single brand I could stomach. Today I went and bought Centrum Silver in Mixed berry flavor. When I opened the jar and saw the actual size of these things, I blanched at the thought of having to chew something that size that just might taste no better than Flintstones did. Boy, was I ever wrong! I wouldn't go so far as to say that they're delicious, but they are most definitely easily palatable. No "lemon face" for me! What a pleasant suprise that was. I'm hoping this run-down feeling I have will soon be in the past, because I'm sure I've been needing more nutrients in my diet these days.

Just got back from seeing Dr. Ren in the city, and am now officially in Onederland! Actually, I hit it a couple of weeks ago, but like to see things kind of "settle in" before I spread the news. It's been 8 months since my surgery, and I am down 55 lbs. Honestly, I had hoped I would have been down a whole lot more at this point, but I'll take it! 51 lbs. to go! It's clear that I won't reach it within the first year after surgery, but I do hope it's possible within the 1.5 years...which would be 10 months from now. Has it taken anyone that long to reach goal? Is it possible to still reach goal after that one year "window of opprtunity" has passed? I sure hope so!

Thanks so much for all the encouragement. Actually, the scale is moving again, largely due to the "jump start" of having a fill and needing to do liquids and mushies for a few days. I have found that being "forced" into doing this helps me in a couple of ways: 1.) Even if it's largely Water loss, just seeing any loss on the scale is encouraging and gets me motivated, and 2.) Water loss or not, just shifting gears by having to do liquids and mushies veers me away from not-so-good choices. Of course, I can't have a fill every month for the rest of my life, so I really need to be able to "shift gears" on my own! I guess it's all part of the learning process.

I just had my checkup on Friday...my weight hasn't budged for about six weeks, so I had a slight fill (from 5.8 up to 6.0)...hopefully, the scale will start moving soon. I guess I really shouldn't be focusing on how I look (or imagine I look), as much as how I feel -- which is SO much better than I have in a long time. Although I'm still not quite closing in on my goal, I guess I've done pretty good so far, and just need to be more patient. After all, I didn't go from 147 to 252 in a matter of months (although it didn't take all that long, relatively, lol!), but I sure have lost more in the past several months than I have at any point previously. You guys are THE BEST!