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I'd suggest sticking with what works for you for a while and introducing different things gradually. Some of the stuff that doesn't work now will probably work later. One of my friends had given me some Medifast foods and I found one of the Soup packages and the oatmeal both very tolerable. I've also bought some high-protein Quaker oatmeal that I like.

Overall, though, this is a relatively brief period in the grand scheme of things. Concentrate on getting your Protein and Water and get through the first month or so--it's rough, but once it's over you can expand your choices a lot.

Good luck . . .

I've seen a number of posts on this subject, and it often seems that family and friends are reacting to the change rather than making a legitimate assessment. Another factor may be that loose skin or some other changes make you look different/older/whatever. But a lot of people say these things become less drastic over time, so I wouldn't worry about that at all. Otherwise, you have to take into account what your doctor recommends and, ultimately and finally, the weight at which YOU feel your best.

My surgeon also said shakes didn't count. On the other hand, I wasn't meeting the Water goal based on water alone for a very long time after surgery. I'm pretty sure I do now, but I'm almost four months out.

It's kind of funny that we're all beating ourselves up and wanting, at the same time, to eat like "normal" people do. Well, normal people overeat during the holidays and indulge in treats. Maybe they don't whip themselves with shame over it, though.

Here's the thing: We have to make this new reality work for the rest of our lives. Sure, there's the honeymoon period during which we can't fit more than a small amount in, and that's great, but otherwise it's a matter of learning to focus on the Protein and Water, veggies, and so on, and limit other things as much as possible. I've realized that I'm probably not going to avoid bread for the rest of my life--but I can make the choice to have whole grain instead of white, or one piece instead of two (or more) . . .

I dunno: It's a work in progress. I have just started losing again after a very, very long stall. Coincidentally, I've also seen my surgeon a few days ago and he was very pleased with my progress--not what I was expecting after that stall.

So, unless you really are gaining weight instead of losing or staying the same, recognize that this is a short period in the year and we can all go back to following our plan perfectly on January 2!

Happy holidays, y'all.

I've been stalled so long I'm starting to feel as though I'm never going to lose again. But as one post pointed out somewhere or other on this site, when we were gaining all our weight, we didn't weigh ourselves every day or two, looking for a change as the pounds added up. It happened slowly, over years even, and there were "stalls" then, too. It's normal. It's what our bodies are supposed to be doing.

I've still lost more weight in the past six months than ever before in my life. Yes, it's frustrating that I've been stalled so long. I have no idea at this point if what I'm doing is right . . . but I'm trying to focus on the Protein and get enough Water and hope the rest will work out eventually. I'm pretty sure it will . . .

But sheesh! I've lost nearly 60 pounds and I'm still wearing the same clothes. That's becoming one of my pet peeves!

Do a search for "third-week stall" or some variation of that phrase. It's incredibly common and shouldn't cause any worry.

I definitely think I'd avoid it if it caused that reaction. My best suggestion at this stage is Protein water--I was using one from Atkins called LIFT protein drink--I figured it counted as Water as well as having 20 grams of protein per bottle. Much easier for me than the Protein Shakes. There are several other brands and you can find it online if not in a local store. Hang in there--you'll be on to other sources of protein soon and may have the shakes only for backup on days you need it.

Check whatever materials/lists you were given, as what's permitted varies from plan to plan. You should be able to have Water, Protein Drinks, broth, creamy Soups, yogurt (such as Oikos triple zero), sugar-free popsicles . . .

I'll admit that I didn't much enjoy the liquid phase or the slushy stage, but once I could eat real food again, I became much, much happier. It really isn't that long, although while you are doing it, it seems like forever. But after the first month . . . you'll have many more options.

Good luck!

Using my math skills (!), it seems as though the most you eat for dinner is 230 calories, and that's your biggest meal of the day. If you have three or four meals total, the most you would be getting in calories is 4 X 230, or 920 calories a day. I don't see how you could not be losing weight on less than a thousand calories a day . . . but hasten to say that I'm not an expert. It sure doesn't sound to me as though you are eating too much, but check with your doctor or nutritionist if you have doubts. Have you perhaps hit a stall? Do you feel as though you are too full?

I started the process expecting that it would take six months or more; it took about three. But the basic thing is--no matter how long it takes, if you don't start it, a year from now, you'll still most likely be wishing you had done so.

It doesn't really matter how much time you have to wait for the surgery--starting the process generally means losing weight from the beginning. I lost 25 pounds before the operation, and quite honestly, it wasn't any harder then than it has been since the surgery. I still have a very long way to go--but at least those 58 pounds are gone, gone, gone.

Just remember that the surgery is a tool--and that's all. You have to change your habits to make this work in the long term.

Best of luck. It isn't easy, but it will reward you in the long run, and you deserve it.

This is like just about anything else with relationships--some people are into it, some people are indifferent, some hate it. You will find plenty of women who want to get to know a guy before the topic (much less the activity) of sex comes up. There's little doubt that online is a great place to meet people, especially for older people who don't have the world of college or singles gatherings of all their friends. But think about what kind of dating sites you join: some are much more about hooking up randomly and others are about finding a relationship. It's still possible you'll run into random naked pictures on the more serious sites, but it's a smaller percentage of people. ignore the stuff that you find inappropriate and follow the basic pattern of emailing a couple of times, asking for a phone number, talking on the phone, then meeting for coffee or a drink. That will work most of the time . . . and don't get discouraged. There will be people who don't look like their pictures and people you have no chemistry with and so on--but there is hope out there. Stick to it and you'll meet someone.

My basic take has always been that the point of proper grammar and spelling is communication . . . yes, mistakes bother me, but as long as I know what the person meant, I'm good in this context. And I'm always aware that, while this is an area in which I have some solid knowledge, the person who doesn't have that particular strength probably has others I don't--they're more imaginative, a better photographer, in better shape, a great parent, a terrific friend . . . you name it. I'm reserving my criticism and correction of English written language for books I'm editing or something that's been published/sold and not edited--that makes me a crazy person. In this arena--eh. But I was surprised by the furor of the responses!

The process is generally long enough and thorough enough that you will have plenty of time to think about this choice and decide if it's really right for you. Many insurance programs insist on a six-month pre-op diet; mine did not, but the whole process took about three months and included group meetings, meetings with a nutritionist, a psych consult, and a battery of tests.

I guess I was lucky that I was overweight for many years before my knees went, but they have gone in a major way. I have lost nearly 60 pounds and it makes no difference--but I'm aware that I'm still very overweight. The ortho guy told me he wouldn't replace my knees at the weight I was, and I can understand that--that's what drove me to the surgery, though. I'm also diabetic (currently on less medication, but not past needing it at all).

One thing that always occurs to me: How many obese elderly people do you see? Yeah, there's a reason for that.

I'd love to go clothes shopping and buy regular sizes, but anyone who thinks I got the surgery for that kind of reason is nuts.

2 hours ago, loey13 said:

I think when people say 'lower your standards' they don't really mean you should be willing to date married alcoholics (at least I hope not!)

But I know more than a few (single) women who have a literal list of requirements: be above a certain height, earn a certain amount of money, have a certain level of education, etc. etc. There's a tendency for a lot of women to go around with a Mr. Perfect in their head and that's who they want and no one else will do. The probelm is, he doesn't exist - because you made him up.

I didn't lower my standards when I went out with my husband for the first time, but I did open myself up to new possibilities. He wasn't my type at all, his clothes were too conservative, he wasn't nearly as "cool" as other guys I'd dated... and he's the most wonderful man in the world: supportive, funny, romantic, clever.

So I don't like the phrase 'lower your standards,' but I do think people should keep an open mind about who they're willing to date. Just because a man doesn't catch your eye or make your heart flutter at first sight doesn't mean you won't have crazy chemistry with him once you get to know him a little. Just because he's unemployed right now or doesn't make a lot of money doesn't mean he can't be a great guy who keeps your house running like a well-oiled machine (stay at home dads!)

Anyway, no, avoiding drunks and cheaters is not being too picky. But beyond that... I think it's worth it to give unlikely suitors a chance.

Interestingly, this is almost precisely the advice of Evan Marc Katz, a dating coach whose stuff I read online--he urges women to be open to guys who don't fit their "list" and to give guys who don't immediately attract them a chance. The guy I'm currently seeing doesn't have a college degree, but I've found he's one of the few I can talk to--he's smart, he reads, and I don't give a crap about the degree, though I'd probably put that on a fantasy list if I were making one.

One thing that has amazed me is how many substitute products there are now that fit in with our needs and still satisfy the old urges. For example, I've gotten a high-protein oatmeal (it's about 10 grams a serving and still high in carbs, so I don't have it more than about once a week). Even better, I've found a high-protein Pasta that's made with yellow lentils--and today I saw a number of other types in the grocery store. I had some in a Soup and it was fine--I didn't feel deprived at all.

I'm living with someone else for a few months and I'm surrounded by stuff I shouldn't eat--and I'm embarrassed to admit that I have eaten way too much of these things. I can't wait until I'm living alone again and simply don't have these things around. Yes, I should be able to resist temptation and just make the right choices . . . but I admit I'm human and weak at times. Thank goodness my sleeve restricts the amount I can eat--I was taken to a Chinese buffet today and ate about a quarter of the plate of food I had. Still not the greatest choice, given the sauces on the chicken, but at least not much.

dinner was watermelon and cottage cheese--a much better meal, actually.

I didn't have a lot of pain post-surgically, but I was completely tired and without energy for at least a month. Now, at 2.5 months out, I'm still easily tired, despite sleeping fairly well. And I keep running into stalls--or maybe my loss has just slowed a great deal. I have faith that this will work in the long run, though. No matter how I look at my loss so far, it's still greater than at any other time in my life, and I know it's not done.

On 11/12/2017 at 7:22 PM, illailla said:

dating beyond your 30s is hard...sometimes people have to lower their standards but they refuse to which makes it harder

I'm not sure I know what you're trying to convey here. Whenever someone has trouble finding a mate, people accuse him or her of being too picky or having too high of a standard. And I'm sure some people are too picky, but sometimes it's just that you haven't met the right person. Sometimes it seems like a miracle when it actually does happen for two people.

I have a preference for certain things in terms of appearance--maybe that's shallow, but I can't imagine having a good relationship without some level of physical attraction. I also have certain parameters--the guy shouldn't be married or involved with another woman! He shouldn't be an alcoholic, a drug user or dealer, unemployed (unless retired or otherwise financially secure). Perhaps the hardest of all, he has to be someone I can talk to comfortably.

Is that too picky? I don't think so, somehow.

I think a weekly thread would be fine unless the group posting gets very large. But yes, I like seeing what others are eating.

Today I had high-protein oatmeal with half an apple for Breakfast (ate about three-quarters of it). Also a cup of coffee with some cream.

I'll admit that I've been having trouble having three meals a day. Usually have two--just not hungry.

I'm a bit more than two months post-op and I've definitely had the same feeling--two stalls already in the process. I'm losing at the moment but I'm trying to take it with a grain of salt--knowing that it seems slow but really isn't. I weigh less than I have in years, maybe decades! And I have--finally--thrown away two pairs of pants that were too big. But most of my clothes still fit after 55 pounds lost--what the heck is that?

It's the reality of having a lot of stretchy plus-sized clothes, that's what it is. But eventually they'll all be gone--and that's what I'm hanging onto. The long view is important here.

I'll pitch in again with my recommendation of Protein water--I've used Atkins LIFT Protein Drink. Not quite as sweet as the shakes and not thick. I've finally gotten to the point of tolerating Premier chocolate and that's about it for protein shakes--mostly ugh! in my opinion.

There are a number of brands of protein Water and if it's not available at a local store, there's always online purchasing as an option.

You look great! One thing I remember from my college years was that when I was at my thinnest, at the weight I'm now using as a goal, there was still a guy telling me I should lose ten pounds more. I don't remember his name, so you can imagine how seriously I took that.

Good luck on your hunt. Another thing I think is silly is the "it'll happen when you least expect it" truism. I spent twenty years ignoring men and relationships and guess what? Nothing happened. If you want a relationship, go right ahead and look for one. Be creative, be active, be relentless! Go for it.

Not all of them . . . but I'll admit that I met a lot of guys once before I met someone I wanted to keep seeing. He's 13 years younger than I am and he's quite fit--just likes bigger women. However, I'll admit the relationship is still pretty casual because that's what he wants and, as much as I like him and am attracted to him, I do think about meeting someone who would want a more serious relationship with me.

I guess my point is that it's hard, period, and size doesn't have to be the determining factor. And if it's been a while since you last dated, my sense is that the expectation of sex happening quickly is more prevalent now than ever before. Doesn't mean you have to play by those rules and doesn't mean that there isn't a guy out there with the same values and expectations you have.

I am yet another person a little envious of those who lose more quickly--I'm generally happy to have lost 53 pounds, yes, but 25 of those were pre-surgery, so it's not really that much since. But there are plenty of reasons I'm not losing more quickly, from my age to my lack of exercise (very, very bad knees). And I'm living with a friend for a few months; she is a classic "shows love by giving food" person, so I can't really hold it against her that she's bringing me doughnuts and Halloween candy--I'm the one who has to be strong enough to say no (and I'm not always, frankly). I'll be back on my own in a few months and won't have this stuff in my apartment . . . so have hope for the future.

For what it's worth . . . I have diabetes and GERD and still had the sleeve. I was on meds for the GERD beforehand and I'm still on meds, so don't notice any difference. I'm on half as much diabetes medication as I was before. My rate of weight loss hasn't been super-speedy, but I'm older and I'm not exercising (knee issues). Still pretty happy with the results so far and expect more weight loss in the months to come . . .

On 10/29/2017 at 5:22 PM, allie2 said:

Glad to read this. Surgery date is Nov. 7 and I find myself questioning it. I had no doubts when i started process in April, but I am suddenly obsessively thinking about the anesthesia. No idea why. The hospital called with my final instructions, where to go, what to bring, what to expect. Instead of being happy like i was when my insurance was approved, i felt a little sick. I keep telling myself one day at a time.

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I know this is scary when it's a new experience, but please don't obsess about it--I've been put under ten times at least and let me just say, I'm pretty happy to have missed what happened while I was under! With this surgery, the only real pain I had was when I first came to--five minutes later the pain meds kicked in and I was fine after that, no pain to speak of at all. Wishing the same to you and everyone!