Kat410

Yes, I understand that. Having been through almost 30 years of obesity and morbid obesity, I saw or sensed (or both) people assume that, because of my weight, I was:
1) not very smart/clever
2) lazy
I have heard many oft-dismissed women friends say over many, many years that, at work, "I have to put in almost twice as much effort as the younger men I have trained and get paid under 75% of what each of them earn. Fortunately, working twice as hard as these entitled boof-heads is not difficult."
CASE IN POINT: My sister-in-law has been with her company for nearly 35 years and trained at least 40 male junior managers/executives and 15 female junior managers/executives. She was saying last Saturday, that of the 40 males, 31 were promoted past her or left the firm for career opportunities 'up the line'. Of the 15 women, only 2 have passed her by. (I have suggested that she get a good industrial advocate and an attorney and take the company on.)
Sorry for that digression; I just thought it was a good analogy.
It came as a great surprise to lots of colleagues (my age and younger, some much younger) just how capable I was and how much I knew and how much I could glean on the job. Too many people assume too much from some very prejudicial viewpoints.
Discrimination is appalling wherever it occurs.

Yesterday I went out in public in skinny jeans. Size 14 skinny jeans which were honestly a bit loose*.

For context here, I am the person who, even in my 20's wore mom-jeans. Big and loose, size 18/20s with a waistband over my bellybutton. Truly sexy, I know. I have a stitchfix subscription and one of my notes on things I want/don't want is "NEVER SEND ME SKINNY JEANS - It is never going to happen."
I feel like I'm having an identity crisis! I went from hiding everything to going out in jeans which are clinging tightly to me and making my butt look fantastic. I sent my husband a text when I went out yesterday that said: "I AM WEARING SKINNY JEANS IN PUBLIC WILLINGLY. I DON'T KNOW WHO I AM ANYMORE."
His reply was "A skinny mini with self confidence. "
Anyway, this is a big deal for me. My scale has been saying 200.00 for the past week, but my NSV seemed almost as wonderful as entering Onederland!



*I bought them last week. I went in thinking "maybe a 16 will work" and 14 did. 14 might be loose but I didn't want to press my luck and ruin my happy mood!

It doesn't take much to get your panties in a knot, does it?
I am not sure how expressing annoyance and discomfort with people who I barely know commenting on my body in ways that are best just plain odd makes me entitled or self-centered.
The many people who ask genuine questions, offer a compliment or support are doing what you call "trying to connect on a deeper level" are not the problem. And I don't assume I know their motives - but when they talk, it's usually not that. Sometimes it's just curiosity. Sometimes my health change has triggered something that they are dealing with either for themselves or someone they care about. A lot of the times the intention is to support, encourage or acknowledge.
I have more of those conversations than I ever imagined possible - and they've been the kind of conversations that have made a difference for both me and those people for lots of reasons.
I do not think the random dude in a hallway calling out "how much weight have you lost?" represents any attempt at a deeper connection or even a basic grasp of being appropriate.
By the time my workday is done on a slow day, I have had 10 such interactions and on some days 30-40. The volume of unsolicited comments is a function of the kind of work I do. And about a quarter of them are about as clueless as your reply. And while I am generally uncomfortable with a lot of public attention, I do smile and thank the people behaving like a normal decent person and I am annoyed and irritated with the stream of idiots.
The best advice so far in this thread is to remember all the shock and awe will fade and the comments will stop.
And speaking of high horses, you may want to check the mount you rode in on.

I hear you.
And I see a direct analogy. In primary (elementary) school and in high school, before weight and obesity became a feature of my life and my being around a quarter of a century later, I was part of a group of very high-achieving students in mathematics, civics, public speaking, debating and inter school competitions.
Of the other 80+ students in our grade/year, about 50 or so spent their days in the schoolyard, their mornings and afternoons on the school buses and trains and random meet-ups at the cinema or shopping strip as random opportunities to insult our skills or achievements, to shout offensive remarks, etc. They "hunted" in packs; they jostled, they assaulted; they were nasty in unison.
Of the four of us, despite invitations and opportunities to attend the 10th, 20th, 25th, 30th, 40th reunions of the class, only one of us has attended just one of the events and only ever once. The other three of us have not attended at all.
Because of my career success and my recent community awards and my time at the city council, my name is well-known in this city/region. Recently, representatives of the majority of the student body have asked. They have asked two of the "still-alive" teachers to approach me to be at the 45th reunion next year. They have even offered me the chance to provide the keynote address. The other three have also had the same or similar offers.
We still decline.
We did not enjoy their blatant bullying and belittling tactics at school (and outside) in the 1970s. We never liked the hateful notes, the jibes, the anger at our success. We had many years of nastiness directed at us.
We, OTOH, were generally congratulatory of others' sporting and pastime successes. We often provided study support or essay help to some of the students that originally asked ... but we eventually let that slide.
The painful memories mean that we have no empathy for sharing time drinking to celebrate/remember old times that we never fully enjoyed.
- - -
In my recent years, while obese, I have heard some very shitty comments from truly ignorant people and I don't have to like or acknowledge them either.
Four men (now in their 62nd or 63rd year have no interest in sharing time with hollow people from our early lives who treated us with derision.
@Kat410 ... you are well entitled to not like dealing with ignorant or ill-informed comments and veiled (or real) disrespect. My opinion does not matter and neither does anyone else in this thread if they don't fully understand the shoes in which you walk and the exact experiences you've been through.

98 Pounds down!
65% of excess body weight gone
Lifting weights, HIT and yoga
More energy, vitality and aliveness!

I love to cook and am a pretty darn good cook. I kept that sort of stuff "out of my space" so to speak during the pre-op diet and the post op liquid/pureed stage. But shortly after that went back to hosting dinner & cocktail parties.
I have found it oddly satisfying to cook and not eat. Somehow cooking satisfies a big part of what is no longer satisfied by eating. Part of it is creative, doing something that people love, creating a great environment and experience for people.
A few weeks ago I hosted a birthday party for a friend and cooked for 20 people in my NYC apartment. I made sautéed jumbo shrimp with blacked corn and jalapenos, carnitas, lime crema, home made pico, a grits casserole, roasted cumin heirloom carrots, a variety of aps - the whole thing was about 10 hours of cooking and prepping with two friends.
When it was meal time, I made a teeny tiny plate of Protein, ate half of it and had no regrets.

My first goal was to lose enough wait to make myself feel good and it has happened I got my surgery on 10/6 and I was 456.8 pounds and today I weighed myself and I am officially out of the 400's I have not seen a 3 in front of my weight since I was 13 or 14
Sent from my SM-G955U using BariatricPal mobile app

My biggest goal is to have a healthy, vital body. I would like to ride horses, bike, hike up a mountain and I think it would be cool to be able to do some of the more pretzely yoga poses.

Mostly I would like to disappear any sense of shame I have about my body.

I love to cook and am a pretty darn good cook. I kept that sort of stuff "out of my space" so to speak during the pre-op diet and the post op liquid/pureed stage. But shortly after that went back to hosting dinner & cocktail parties.
I have found it oddly satisfying to cook and not eat. Somehow cooking satisfies a big part of what is no longer satisfied by eating. Part of it is creative, doing something that people love, creating a great environment and experience for people.
A few weeks ago I hosted a birthday party for a friend and cooked for 20 people in my NYC apartment. I made sautéed jumbo shrimp with blacked corn and jalapenos, carnitas, lime crema, home made pico, a grits casserole, roasted cumin heirloom carrots, a variety of aps - the whole thing was about 10 hours of cooking and prepping with two friends.
When it was meal time, I made a teeny tiny plate of Protein, ate half of it and had no regrets.

I am officially three months out as of yesterday, 11/7/2017. I feel great. I never thought that I would realize this rate of success so quickly. May of this year, I was sitting at 326 pounds. I was unhappy. I was just existing. I had been overweight for the majority of my life even though I was always active. I was the most in shape fat guy around. I worked out 5-7X per week for years. I tried every diet known to man. I would lose 30-50 pounds, and then gain it back. It was then hard to start up again. I tended to eat well during the week, only to destroy my progress over the weekend.
I had surgery on August 7, 2017. It was truly a life-changing experience. Shot out to Dr. Illan in Mexico, and Bariatric Pal for giving me this opportunity to change my life for the better. I am 19 pounds from my goal as of today. I have gone from a 44" pant size to a 36" pant size. The most miraculous thing that I noticed today is that I am no longer 6'2.5" tall. I am 6'3" today. I actually grew a half inch! I found out at a doctor's appointment two years ago that I had shrunk a half inch. I though that it was because of age. Well, look at the pictures below.
The left grouping was taken in May at my high weight of 326 pounds. The middle grouping was taken on 8/7 and 8/8 (before and after surgery) at 289 pounds. The right grouping was taken yesterday at 239 pounds. If you compare the middle and last grouping, you can tell that my posture has straightened out. I am actually taller by a half inch. Crazy!
Anyway, I didn't do this in SUCCESS STORIES, because I don't feel that I am there just yet. Who knows what the next three months have in store for me!
Has anyone else noticed a height change after weight loss?

THE STALL IS FINALLY BROKEN!!!! I AM NOW DOWN TO 153.8 AFTER BEING STUCK AT 155-158 FOR ABOUT A MONTH!!! I'M SOOOO EXCITED

Sent from my SM-G955U using BariatricPal mobile app

My longest stall was 1 month, but remember you must set your goal weight not your surgeon, mines wanted me at 150 but I love my body & look now at 186 [emoji41] I knew I would be frail/sick looking at 150🙄

HW: 247 VSG:6/1/17 CW:186(11/04/17) GW:185🙄

It doesn't take much to get your panties in a knot, does it?
I am not sure how expressing annoyance and discomfort with people who I barely know commenting on my body in ways that are best just plain odd makes me entitled or self-centered.
The many people who ask genuine questions, offer a compliment or support are doing what you call "trying to connect on a deeper level" are not the problem. And I don't assume I know their motives - but when they talk, it's usually not that. Sometimes it's just curiosity. Sometimes my health change has triggered something that they are dealing with either for themselves or someone they care about. A lot of the times the intention is to support, encourage or acknowledge.
I have more of those conversations than I ever imagined possible - and they've been the kind of conversations that have made a difference for both me and those people for lots of reasons.
I do not think the random dude in a hallway calling out "how much weight have you lost?" represents any attempt at a deeper connection or even a basic grasp of being appropriate.
By the time my workday is done on a slow day, I have had 10 such interactions and on some days 30-40. The volume of unsolicited comments is a function of the kind of work I do. And about a quarter of them are about as clueless as your reply. And while I am generally uncomfortable with a lot of public attention, I do smile and thank the people behaving like a normal decent person and I am annoyed and irritated with the stream of idiots.
The best advice so far in this thread is to remember all the shock and awe will fade and the comments will stop.
And speaking of high horses, you may want to check the mount you rode in on.

I love to cook and am a pretty darn good cook. I kept that sort of stuff "out of my space" so to speak during the pre-op diet and the post op liquid/pureed stage. But shortly after that went back to hosting dinner & cocktail parties.
I have found it oddly satisfying to cook and not eat. Somehow cooking satisfies a big part of what is no longer satisfied by eating. Part of it is creative, doing something that people love, creating a great environment and experience for people.
A few weeks ago I hosted a birthday party for a friend and cooked for 20 people in my NYC apartment. I made sautéed jumbo shrimp with blacked corn and jalapenos, carnitas, lime crema, home made pico, a grits casserole, roasted cumin heirloom carrots, a variety of aps - the whole thing was about 10 hours of cooking and prepping with two friends.
When it was meal time, I made a teeny tiny plate of Protein, ate half of it and had no regrets.

I love to cook and am a pretty darn good cook. I kept that sort of stuff "out of my space" so to speak during the pre-op diet and the post op liquid/pureed stage. But shortly after that went back to hosting dinner & cocktail parties.
I have found it oddly satisfying to cook and not eat. Somehow cooking satisfies a big part of what is no longer satisfied by eating. Part of it is creative, doing something that people love, creating a great environment and experience for people.
A few weeks ago I hosted a birthday party for a friend and cooked for 20 people in my NYC apartment. I made sautéed jumbo shrimp with blacked corn and jalapenos, carnitas, lime crema, home made pico, a grits casserole, roasted cumin heirloom carrots, a variety of aps - the whole thing was about 10 hours of cooking and prepping with two friends.
When it was meal time, I made a teeny tiny plate of Protein, ate half of it and had no regrets.

I'm trying to change my height, but it's not letting me.
I'm 1cm taller than what it's set at.

I love to cook and am a pretty darn good cook. I kept that sort of stuff "out of my space" so to speak during the pre-op diet and the post op liquid/pureed stage. But shortly after that went back to hosting dinner & cocktail parties.
I have found it oddly satisfying to cook and not eat. Somehow cooking satisfies a big part of what is no longer satisfied by eating. Part of it is creative, doing something that people love, creating a great environment and experience for people.
A few weeks ago I hosted a birthday party for a friend and cooked for 20 people in my NYC apartment. I made sautéed jumbo shrimp with blacked corn and jalapenos, carnitas, lime crema, home made pico, a grits casserole, roasted cumin heirloom carrots, a variety of aps - the whole thing was about 10 hours of cooking and prepping with two friends.
When it was meal time, I made a teeny tiny plate of Protein, ate half of it and had no regrets.

It doesn't take much to get your panties in a knot, does it?
I am not sure how expressing annoyance and discomfort with people who I barely know commenting on my body in ways that are best just plain odd makes me entitled or self-centered.
The many people who ask genuine questions, offer a compliment or support are doing what you call "trying to connect on a deeper level" are not the problem. And I don't assume I know their motives - but when they talk, it's usually not that. Sometimes it's just curiosity. Sometimes my health change has triggered something that they are dealing with either for themselves or someone they care about. A lot of the times the intention is to support, encourage or acknowledge.
I have more of those conversations than I ever imagined possible - and they've been the kind of conversations that have made a difference for both me and those people for lots of reasons.
I do not think the random dude in a hallway calling out "how much weight have you lost?" represents any attempt at a deeper connection or even a basic grasp of being appropriate.
By the time my workday is done on a slow day, I have had 10 such interactions and on some days 30-40. The volume of unsolicited comments is a function of the kind of work I do. And about a quarter of them are about as clueless as your reply. And while I am generally uncomfortable with a lot of public attention, I do smile and thank the people behaving like a normal decent person and I am annoyed and irritated with the stream of idiots.
The best advice so far in this thread is to remember all the shock and awe will fade and the comments will stop.
And speaking of high horses, you may want to check the mount you rode in on.

I love to cook and am a pretty darn good cook. I kept that sort of stuff "out of my space" so to speak during the pre-op diet and the post op liquid/pureed stage. But shortly after that went back to hosting dinner & cocktail parties.
I have found it oddly satisfying to cook and not eat. Somehow cooking satisfies a big part of what is no longer satisfied by eating. Part of it is creative, doing something that people love, creating a great environment and experience for people.
A few weeks ago I hosted a birthday party for a friend and cooked for 20 people in my NYC apartment. I made sautéed jumbo shrimp with blacked corn and jalapenos, carnitas, lime crema, home made pico, a grits casserole, roasted cumin heirloom carrots, a variety of aps - the whole thing was about 10 hours of cooking and prepping with two friends.
When it was meal time, I made a teeny tiny plate of Protein, ate half of it and had no regrets.

My main goal for having WLS was not initially weight loss, it was to prevent another back surgery. Yes, the goal of the surgery was WL, but that wasn't the reason for the surgery, if that makes sense.
And I managed that. I prevented another back surgery.
Along with the weight loss came a stronger and fitter body what has gone hiking all of fall, has been working out without aches and pains, feeling amazing, being able to go into my closet and knot that everything I put on will fit (or be too big), going into a store and seeing something cute, and know that they'll have a big enough size to fit me. (Unless they are sold out, but not because they don't make the item that big).
So many amazing things has happened since having this surgery. Just that fact that I can walk 12 flights of stairs without getting winded, that I'll walk up escalators, that hiking up a mountain makes me feel alive, that I can't wait to move my body. It's the best thing I have ever done for myself.

Is it just me - or does anyone get annoyed by the NEVER ENDING STREAM OF COMMENTS about your body???
I work in an environment where I interact with hundreds of people every day, and while the comments are "nice", I am unbelievably sick of people thinking they have the right to comment on my body, how I look, their assumptions about how hard it's been, what this means, how they think I feel, what they think this means to me, what they think I have had to deal with, their opinions about it, etc.
I mean.... it is NON STOP. People literally say things like "You must feel so much better!" (I didn't feel bad before). "This must have been so difficult!" (no, it really wasn't because I was mentally read). "You look so much younger!" (I didn't realize I looked old before). "How much weight have you lost?" (I have lost none of your business pounds).
Am I nuts to get so annoyed about this?

This makes me sorta mad and it’s not even happening to me. I think it’s just embedded in our culture that the female body is there to be managed, controlled, commented on and otherwise handled.

The other day One led the commentators came back to me and asked if it was inappropriate that he said something (as I was walking past him in a busy office he literally said “How much weight have you lost???” No greeting - just that.)

I told him that I recommend that he never comment on someone’s body ever. And if he has a relationship with that person he should ask for permission to ask about it. People lose and gain weight for all sorts of reasons and we can never assume that we know what people are dealing with.

When my aunt was initially diagnosed with pancreatic cancer people started praising her for her weight loss at first - she lived for a year.

My biggest goal is to have a healthy, vital body. I would like to ride horses, bike, hike up a mountain and I think it would be cool to be able to do some of the more pretzely yoga poses.

Mostly I would like to disappear any sense of shame I have about my body.

My biggest goal is to have a healthy, vital body. I would like to ride horses, bike, hike up a mountain and I think it would be cool to be able to do some of the more pretzely yoga poses.

Mostly I would like to disappear any sense of shame I have about my body.

My biggest goal is to have a healthy, vital body. I would like to ride horses, bike, hike up a mountain and I think it would be cool to be able to do some of the more pretzely yoga poses.

Mostly I would like to disappear any sense of shame I have about my body.