bluebonz36

7 hours ago, OutsideMatchInside said:

Do not get meds. They will not help you. Several Dr's told me no meds. They will make things worse instead of better. Your body is going through so much upheaval that adding more chemicals to the mix is a disaster.

I identified with a lot of what you wrote. I'm not married, I am single and I live alone but I went through a big identity crisis a few months ago. Around the time I went from plus to normal sizes. I felt like I was in an alien body. And the way people treated me differently really hurt me a lot. Mainly because when I was huge I was a confident and happy person. I thought I mattered then when I lost weight and I realized how people really thought about fat people and me before I lost weight, I lost it. It crushed me. I realized I had spent most of my adult life oblivious to how under valued I was. Then that just spiraled into body image and self esteem issues that I have never had before. I felt like my body was the body of a monster with all the loose skin. I have mirrors all over my home because in general I'm vain but I started to hate even seeing myself in the mirror all I saw was flaws. I went from walking around 1/2 dressed to being covered up all the time so I wouldn't have to see myself.

I looked for a counselor that specialized in post weight loss. I never found one. I went to a regular counselor and she was okay. She still didn't understand what I was going through and none of my friends did either. People thinking you lost weight. You should be happy now.

Then it finally clicked for me. This is a solitary experience. No one is ever going to understand. Most people never hit almost 400 pounds and most never lose this low. It just doesn't happen. Even most people in the WLS community are useless, losing 100 pounds is nothing like losing 200. So instead of trying to talk to other people and get other people to understand my experience and relate to it, I did a lot of internal searching. I meditated, went to church, did yoga and focused on myself and loving myself. Instead of focusing on my failures I focus on my successes.

It is still hard it is a daily struggle but I am a lot better now than I was 6 months ago.

Thank you for the advice. Yes much of this journey I do feel like I just need time and space to do some inner soul searching. I feel it in my spirit. I was planning and saving for a road trip up to the mountains this summer for my surgiversary and ended up having to spend what I saved. We were going to go as a family, but the more close summer gets I feel I am supposed to go alone. I don't think anyone around me would understand why I would make a trip like that on my own.

19 hours ago, autumnleaf said:

yes i do and if you want to talk try and contact me . i lost weight slow and have almost hit the 100lb mark. and all of a sudden like a light bulb i just felt like all i was was a wife mother cook cleaner . i didnt feel appreciated i was stressed with home life and work balance. i told everyone what i was feeling . i wanted to just run away. i needed room to breath and i didnt get it. i went to a counselor for 4 months it did not help. i did not get happy. i ended up kicking my husband out of the house after 22 years of marriage. he begged me not to and said he loved me . i had no emotion and never cried i was emotionally shut down. i tore the family apart the kids are devastated and he is not a changed man hurt and scorned wondering what he done wrong. im still not happy. even with talking to a physiologist . i never thought it would happen to me. I have heard of people who lost weight and had a crisis loss of identity . we'll it happened to me . please try and find good help someone who knows what your going through a specialist in weight loss. i picked a bad person that cost me a fortune but did not help me. i dont think meds are the answer you need to talk it out

OMGoodness yes!!!! that is exactly how I am feeling except I just want to run away. Already planned to have a job in another town and a place to live with my kids. I told my husband that we needed counseling or I was out the door. It's only been 2 weeks but things are somewhat better. I am sorry this has happening to you. If I didn't have such an awesome support system through my church family I think I would have run a long time ago. I have thought about taking a class at the local Community college and have started to learn how to quilt which is very therapeutic. Mental illness does run in my family so I am pretty in tune with what symptoms I am experiencing but medication is not for me at the moment. Thank you ladies for sharing. Just getting it all out made me feel a little relief. Both of you be blessed and take care.

So I am 9 months post-op. I am a wife, mother, friend, sister and daughter... and feel no identity with any of these... Somewhere along the path of life I lost who I was... who I am. With all the hormonal changes that come with this surgery most days I am over whelmed and filled with anxiety. I feel like no one understands what I am experiencing. Along with the emotional side the changes that I have physically are great because I feel better, but with all this flappy skin I feel worse about myself then before I had surgery. My marriage was kinda rocky before and now even more so because I am more out spoken and independent. I fell like I just exist from day to day. I thought I would get out of this funk and it's just not passing... I guess I am just needing to know if anyone can relate to any of this...