Cass Elliot

Many of us veterans still work on balance of food and exercise in proportion to where we are and want to be on the scale!!
DAILY
it can not be lackadaisical for me. Even after 10 successful years.
Best luck to us all going thru life

I am surprised reading the many comments in direct conflict with this post. It is my experience it is what we should all be working towards. Eating "what your want, when you want" does not mean binge without consequence, rather it means listening to your body and trust it to tell you what you need or want when and how much. Our bodies have amazing and complex feedback loops, but all of us spent years ignoring them and eating for emotional reasons, not physical ones. Relearning to listen and to trust your feedback loops is the ideal state of being. A constant diet mentality with or without surgery is not healthy or ideal, and statistically speaking won't work. I also realize learning to listen to your feedback loops and not your emotions is a difficult transition that should not be attempted when in the weight loss phase, but to maintain that phase I think it is essential.

Intuitive eating IS mindful eating. Geneen Roth is a proponent of this style and she has workshops for disordered eating. She conquered disordered eating herself.
The OP is trying to eat normal. Normal people don't endlessly think about food. They eat when hungry, stop when full, and go on about their day forgetting about food. It's when you give up the anxiety about food because you no longer USE food the same way that you did, when you used it to fulfill an unmet need, quell anxiety/grief rejection, worthiness love hate fear etc. It just becomes food, you learn to trust yourself.
I am working on this prior to surgery.

This is what my docs office goes by. Eat when hungry only. We don't count calories, macros, Protein, carbs. We make the conscious decision to choose the right foods and stop when content. I'm so with you. Wls is for a lifestyle, not another diet for me. The last thing I wanted to have to do is count anything after wls, what's the point? I could have done all of that before wls and obviously I wasn't successful as I have tried many times. Like you, I don't want to have be centered around food as I was before either. I need freedom and I will stay in it.

Yes I have dumping but my surgery was more complicated than most. It's rare to have it with the sleeve. I get it and it sucks so bad. But it's getting better.
I've been eating Intuitively for about a year now with some small relapses back into dieting and that mindset but not for more than a day or so.
The last 3 months I've REALLY let go and stopped weighing myself EVER, stopped even considering what I eat. I eat so much, always listening to my body and it's cravings. I eat all kinds of foods from fresh to processed and savory to sweet. I eat carbs all the time. I love Desserts. I drink alcohol. I enjoy whatever I want. I've not been actively dieting for a year at least but now I've really, really let go of the fear and I'm continuing to make progress. I don't worry about wether I'm eating too much, grazing, eating something fattening. I have really just LET GO.
I eat when I'm hungry and when I'm full I stop. Honestly I just don't even think about it. I follow my bodies cravings.
I have gained no weight. I'm exactly the same. If anything, I've lost. I don't know. I don't care. I don't weigh myself. BUT my clothes all still fit perfectly. But who cares anyway.
My life is finally where I want it to be and I am free.
I will never ever go back to dieting. I truly believe Intuitive Eating will keep me healthy for the rest of my life.
Picture of me and my daughter a few days ago.

Hey!
So I've left dieting behind. I no longer weigh myself. I don't count my calories or macros or Protein grams. I have no idea what I eat in a day, it's always different and I actually forget.
I exercise for fun and enjoyment but not for weight regulation. If I don't feel like working out, I don't.
Bariatric surgery helped me lose 100 lbs but it also caused a great deal of pain in my life. I struggle to this day with food getting stuck, vomiting, and dumping.
I have rejected dieting because after my weight loss I realized I was just as miserable and unhappy as prior to my weight loss. Living a life centered around food, dieting, weight and body imagine was taking all the joy out of my world. I didn't feel at ease- I felt the same amount of stress and anxiety around food as before weight loss- maybe more So now that I was thin and felt I had more to lose if I regained. Basically I was still stuck in an eating disorder and diet mindset and it was ruining my life.
I now eat by INTUITIVE EATING. It is a book I read and a way of eating that was presented to me when I went through eating disorder therapy. I eat by my hunger.. if I'm hungry I eat and if I'm not, I don't. Well.. sometimes I still do. Basically these days I just don't think about it that much. I just eat.
I can eat normal to large portion sizes now. I eat a wide variety of foods including sweets and fried food. I don't love processed Snacks but sometimes I still eat those too. I'd say I eat a fairly healthy diet nutrition wise- I eat my fair share of veggies and fruit but I definitely don't ponder about it- I just eat what appeals to me. I like salads as much as I like cake and protein.
I initially gained about 10lbs, but I was underweight at a BMI of 17. My weight has remained stable for about a year now, as far as I know.
If anyone wants to know more feel free to get in touch. I'm happy to talk about my experiences.
 

SO happy for you ! It must be a really great feeling to not be a prisoner of cravings and binge eating. As much as we are hard on ourselves for not always doing everything 'right' we are leaps and bounds ahead of where we once were in terms of behaviour!!
Congrats!!

This is the quote of the day. It should be stitched on a pillow somewhere!

Not me. Carbs and my thighs aren't on good terms. Plus, I feel much better when I eat under 30 grams. Sorry, not what you were looking for. The thing is there are plenty of low carb veggies. Berries are fairly low too. Lots of options.

You can often find out about people by clicking on their name. It takes you to their profile and if they have filled it out you can see their stats. Outside is almost 2 years out and almost to goal.
Everyone is different. Some can handle carbs all the time, some can't, ever. Some can't lose with carbs, but they need them for maintenance.
We are a varied group. From the 180lb lady with PCOS but no true food addiction to the 700lb man that is bed ridden and food is his life... and everything in between.
We are all here to make ourselves healthier and happier, and if what we were doing before worked, we wouldn't be HERE!
Most of us didn't gain weight eating salmon and asparagus. That IS something we have in common.

Low carb isn't Keto and keto isn't low carb. People keep mixing up the terms and they are not the same thing.
A post-op diet is low carb, not keto.
Almost all bariatric diets post-op are low carb and low fat (which is kind of impossible).
The reason so many people fail at Keto is because they don't understand what it is or how it works. You have to set your macros and control the ratios carefully. If you aren't you are just low carbing, which is fine, but it isn't Keto.
Unless you are vegetarian/vegan, you are going to low carb for the rest of your life anyway if you are eating properly in the right order.
If you have plate of food, you are supposed to eat your Protein FIRST. First means ALONE not alternating bites with other foods, FIRST. If you have your proper portion of protein 3-4 ounces, and you finish that, THEN eat your veggies/carbs, you will be lucky to get an ounce of those items in. The protein is going to make you full by eating it first.
People don't follow these directions, they eat alternating bites. They don't measure and weigh their portions. If you eat your veggies alternating bites with your protein, you can eat a lot more food, and you won't feel as full and you will not get all your protein in.
This is why I eat my veggies separate at Snacks so I can get enough veggies in while meeting my protein goals. If I didn't eat my veggies separate, I would never eat any, because 3 to 4 ounces of protein fills me up. On a typical day I eat 4 cups of spinach. That is pretty much the sum of my carbs, and it is barely 4 carbs, the rest of my carbs are from half and half. If I have broccoli instead I might hit 6 carbs in broccoli and even that is a stretch because broccoli is more filling and I can't eat as much of it as I can of spinach. If you are eating protein and green veggies, it is basically impossible not to low carb.

I can! I love how it makes me feel and the results I get following a ketogenic diet. I actually prefer my keto meals. Grains and sugar make my joints hurt and my feet swell.

My doctor/nut plan for the first 2 months was 3 oz Protein + 1 oz vegetable. In month 3 i was allowed to add fruit. I was definitely in Keto back then - I can tell by the gross bad breath!! It was in month 4 or 5 that I ate bread and Pasta at a party and bam, I spent the next 3 days fighting head hunger.
You have an open mind about exploring and inquiring so I know you'll do great and find what works best for you.

There's been a lot of great responses already about doing what is right for you and your body...ditto that.
I am definitely not trying to talk you into anything or make any type of point, I just wanted to share the benefit I get out of low carb in case you were wondering why anyone in their right mind would give up bread!
I'm not in ketosis because I eat fruit and Beans, but I avoid grains, sugar and potatoes. When I eat like this, I do not have any cravings and am not tempted by anything and its smooth sailing. But, boy oh boy, one piece of bread, and that dopamine high triggers all kinds of cravings for a few days and I want to eat everything in sight. I can still lose while eating carbs, it is just so hard to stay on track. Since I can lose, I guess I am not carb-sensitive as I've heard others describe - I'm just a junkie!
I'm quite jealous of you. I wish I could lose while eating carbs. enjoy

I don't and didn't follow low carb. Surgeon and NUT don't require it. Doing fine, lost 77 lbs so far!

This.
I avoid carbs like the plague, because I have a terrible carb addiction and the only solution for me was to purge them from my life almost completely (outside of cottage cheese and green vegetables). That being said, I agree with what @OutsideMatchInside has said. I can eat in a keto fashion long-term, so that is what I do.
The difference between a diet and a way of life is sustainability. Find what works for you and stick to it. The important thing is that you are making progress toward your goal.

I am so carb sensitive that I can't lose at all if I eat carbs. 170 pounds down and still can't touch a carb without gaining. Do what works for you.

I stay away from carbs due to diabetes. But here's a funny story.

I was at my first follow-up visit with my surgeon. All was well and as I was leaving he calls out to me. I look back, he's standing up at his desk, leaning over it, yelling out his office door "And stay away from carbs!!! They'll ruin everything!".

Words I live by mostly, unless I decided I want something decadent. But on MOST days I live by my Doc's final caution as I left is his office. It's STILL echoing inside my head...

So I had surgery on 2/16/17 and after a stall or two I must say that I am enjoying life and my journey is going great. Before surgery I was on so many prescriptions, High BP, Cholesterol, metformin for prediabetes, a stomach Med, and heartburn med. three months out from surgery all my meds are now gone. My A1C is perfect, my cholesterol is low, my blood pressure is low, and I've lost a total of 110lbs (40 in the three months before surgery and 70 since surgery). That is 5lbs a week. I eat sensible, Protein first and then veggies. I have four small meals a day and have learned quickly what I can tolerate and I drink tons of Water now. I am shocked at how quickly my relationship with food has changed and all the things I thought I would miss (soda, junk, fast food, binge eating) are not really a concern. I look longingly at my coworkers food sometimes but it is more a nostalgia than a want. I like exercising, and always had but my ability to do it was nonexistent before. Now I enjoy the gym, and while it is taking a long time to build back up the stamina and tone I once had, I know I will get there as long as I keep at it.
I cannot be thankful enough for the support of my family and drs, my PCP for pushing my and my surgeon for doing an awesome job, being super supportive and checking in with me with random calls every now and then.
For those thinking about surgery, it will change your life, and you will get out of it all you count into it. I thank god for this new chance at a healthy life and for the strength to change.

I am 5'4 and 212 when I had my surgery. I think my BMI was 36... anyway I got lots of the same- of you shouldn't do it- not big enough etc--- when my dr said- I think that's a great idea ( to do the sleeve) that's what pushed me. I am now down to 152 and still need to lose a little more- wouldn't change it for anything- my obsession with food is gone. That is the nicest part. It just doesn't control me anymore

I am 5'5" BMI 35 and I plan to get it. Do what you want to do and don't feel ashamed! I have not always been big, I gained over 100 pounds during my last pregnancy in my 30s and I can't get rid of it. I am not the same person on the outside and I want my life back. I am sad, I have no energy, people treat me different, I am ashamed for getting so big. I have always dieted even when I was a size 7-10 laughable now, I wish I was there now lol. My husband thinks you have to be 300+ to have it and says if I just exercised... I HAVE NO ENERGY!!

I understand you very well. I was a low BMI when I was sleeved on May 15. I has spent the last 10 years going up and down my highest was 255. I had managed to get down to about 220 and was on my way up again when I started researching WLS.
I have an auto immune thyroid disorder and type 2 diabetes. Even with these co-morbidities my insurance would not cover the surgery so I went to Mexico to have it done. It was the best thing I have ever done for myself. I have no regrets. I have not been under 200 pounds in over 9 years and I am 194 today!
I think getting this done now before your body starts to break down is very smart. As long as you have done your research and are 100% ready to make the lifestyle changes that will be required, then I say go for it. Don't let the non-supportive people get into your head. Ignore them.

I think you should TOTALLY do it and the people with their comments can go fly a kite. It's your life and you've had to live with your feeling of being big for the whole time. who are they to say what is right for you!?
AND FURTHERMORE (since I am on my soapbox), I WISH WISH WISH WISH that I would have had surgery sooner when my BMI was lower and it would have been that much easier to get down to a healthy weight. Why would you wait until you got heavier>?! do it now but know as everyone says, you still have lots of effort ahead of you.
good luck!

Yeah, I feel the same way. Counseling can be a great tool for a lot of people and at during different times in your life. But I have never felt that MY food issues could be helped with counseling. I've been prone to overeating since early childhood and believe it is the dopamine high that I'm addicted to. Watch little kids, some just enjoy eating more than others.
I do believe that cognitive behavior therapy can help us to learn new behaviors and overcome food addiction. check out the Beck diet solution. I've been loosely following some of her advice to keep my head straight.

Maybe consider attending the OA meetings. It's great to post here, many can understand, but in a group setting where people are striving to overcome the addictions and accepting they have it - they really get to the meat of the matter and some can abstain from certain behaviors. All food addicts struggle with different addictions, no two are alike. And they all have different reasons for their addictions.

If a group setting isn't your thing, you can find a therapist that can help you with your binging and also help you understand why you have it so that you can better overcome and let go of it.

It's natural to feel what you're feeling, most people, myself included, have these thoughts. It's a matter of understanding yourself and your body, what works for you.

I just love rich fried foods and anything luxurious and indulgent. I understand my addiction controls me. I leave it out of my hands and stick to a eating regimen that is conducive to my health.

My addiction was more like a snowball affect, and eventually I realized the more I gave into it, the worse off I viewed myself, causing me to want to eat me.

In the esteemed words of Fat Bastard (Austin Powers)

"I can't stop eating. I eat because I'm unhappy, and I'm unhappy because I eat. It's a vicious cycle. Now, if you'll excuse me, there's someone I'd like to get in touch with and forgive. Myself."

lol