VSG4Mag

The decision was mine for certain. He gave me advice and left it up to me. He had previously had a bypass, so he knew personally about the topic as well.

I couldn't agree more. I to fully intend to keep my surgery private. Just hope my wife can do the same.

I'm shocked to hear a psychologist give that advice. I would understand if they said if was your decision, and here are some of the pros and cons of it, but to outright tell you be secretive about it is just plain bad advice IMO, regardless of whether of it worked for you or not.
Don't get me wrong, I'm glad that it did work for you, and it was certainly YOUR decision to make, however, a "professional" that's of the opinion that you should hide and/or lie about what you've done because of the negativity surrounding it, is ONLY ADDING TO THE NEGATIVITY!!!!!
In the end, as I said, the decision is yours. If you're more comfortable keeping it a secret, then by all means do that, but don't feel as though you have to...because you don't.

I'm almost 2 years post op and no one but the people I told know. My child doesn't even know. At this point my life is so normal, there is no point in telling.

It is an easy secret to keep as long as you don't tell people. The more people you tell the more likely you are to be exposed.

I told mostly everyone from the moment I started the six month pre-op requirement. It was just easier for me. I didn't want to have to lie or explain why I was eating/drinking in a certain way. I've found everyone to be supportive and no one has dared say to me that I've taken the easy way out. They might be thinking it but I could care less. I'm doing this for my health not for anyone's approval. A good side effect of being up front about it is that people do not push food on me at family events, etc. They know I can only eat a small amount.

I kept my surgery a secret on the strong advice of the psychologist who I was required to see as part of my surgery approval. He mentioned that people can be really negative about WL surgery and how people post-op, those who know will start to police what you put in your mouth. Super annoying. I'm now 3 years out and only a total of 10 people know who aren't medical professionals. I'm a really private person anyway, so this worked with my personality.
One other thing that helped me keep this as a "secret" is that I had previous weight loss successes that were in the 50-60 pound range, then a regain over a year or two (which is what led me to surgery) -- people close to me knew that I had lost larger amounts of weight previously so they didn't think anything of it when I started losing again.
So for me, this was a smart move and I am happy that I made that decision and stuck to it -- secrecy gets awkward sometimes, but my privacy was completely worth it!
Best of luck to you - you're in the very best part of the journey right now!

Initially, only my wife knew, but, once you start to lose a lot of weight in a relatively short amount of time people will (1) notice and (2) ask questions or ask for advice.
I really don't feel as though I'm helping anyone asking me for advice if I tell them I'm simply doing a fad diet. I'm not big on lying, and certainly not when it's going to send someone else down the (most likely) wrong path....so I decided to own it, wear it on my sleeve, and educate anyone who asks.
There's a cloud of negativity surrounding weight loss surgery, as though we've somehow "taken the easy way out", which couldn't be further from the truth. So I use it as a platform to help others who may have questions or concerns about wls in hopes that it can perhaps help others as it has helped me.
That being said, I don't wear a giant sign on my back that says I had surgery, but those closest to me who ask get the absolute truth.
I also believe when people around you know, it will motivate you more to succeed. If you're telling people that you're on a fad diet, then failing isn't "a bad thing" in their eyes. In fact, it's probably expected as it is with most other fad diets, and so you might be tempted more easily to eat things that you otherwise wouldn't if you are motivated to succeed. This isn't always the case with people who "hide it", but it's certainly something to consider.
In the end, it has to be your decision and you need to do what you're comfortable doing, but the longer we hide behind the fact that we've had surgery, the longer it will take for public acceptance, not to mention that when you're "hiding" it, you're limiting your resources in terms of recipes, information, etc. It's nice to not be afraid to pull my phone out in public and look at this site or search for bariatric recipes without fear someone will see me.

So I've done it!
Had my VSG last Thursday 2/23.
I've struggled with my weight my whole life. Creeping up to 40 I've seen that since putting a significant amount of weight on over the years, I'm not living the life I want. My kids are not getting the best version of me.
But....I don't want to share this with the people close to me. Of course my husband knows and I told my childhood best friend who has shared similar struggles and is interested in this too. But my immediate family, children, close friends and co-workers do NOT KNOW.
Has anyone managed to pull this off?
4 weeks prior to surgery I made a vow to cut back and get myself in shape surgery or not. I gave up sugar and then subsequently all processed carbs just before I was approved. Then shortly thereafter started the pre-op liquid diet and just told people I was using my Protein Shakes as Meal Replacements. So it's no secret that I'm trying to lose weight...I just left out the VSG part.
Truth be told I don't want to explain myself. I don't want people thinking I'm taking the easy way out. I don't or at least I didn't want people trying to talk me out of it...and trust me they would have. I don't want people watching what I eat and asking if I should be eating it, etc. I've seen what people do and say for others who have gone down this road first hand...at work and in my personal life, and I'm just trying to avoid all that.
And of course, I'm afraid of failing. I have the can do attitude. I really see myself being a success and I mean life long. But there is that fear from my past failures.
Any advice or personal experiences from people who have been down this road would be appreciated.

So I've done it!
Had my VSG last Thursday 2/23.
I've struggled with my weight my whole life. Creeping up to 40 I've seen that since putting a significant amount of weight on over the years, I'm not living the life I want. My kids are not getting the best version of me.
But....I don't want to share this with the people close to me. Of course my husband knows and I told my childhood best friend who has shared similar struggles and is interested in this too. But my immediate family, children, close friends and co-workers do NOT KNOW.
Has anyone managed to pull this off?
4 weeks prior to surgery I made a vow to cut back and get myself in shape surgery or not. I gave up sugar and then subsequently all processed carbs just before I was approved. Then shortly thereafter started the pre-op liquid diet and just told people I was using my Protein Shakes as Meal Replacements. So it's no secret that I'm trying to lose weight...I just left out the VSG part.
Truth be told I don't want to explain myself. I don't want people thinking I'm taking the easy way out. I don't or at least I didn't want people trying to talk me out of it...and trust me they would have. I don't want people watching what I eat and asking if I should be eating it, etc. I've seen what people do and say for others who have gone down this road first hand...at work and in my personal life, and I'm just trying to avoid all that.
And of course, I'm afraid of failing. I have the can do attitude. I really see myself being a success and I mean life long. But there is that fear from my past failures.
Any advice or personal experiences from people who have been down this road would be appreciated.

Only my Husband knows. I told everyone I'm doing a Fad diet. Which isn't unlike me. I did loose a pound a day drinking 80%veggie 20% fruit fresh made juice , for 24 days. So I told everyone I was going for 60 days (which is how much weight I have to loose) so we'll see!

It sounds like your bariatric team let you down by not informing you better about your options and consequences. Well, you can't undo your sleeve, so you may as well hop on for the ride.
The first month is tough. Not only are you healing, but your body which has been used to indulging itself, is now being told "no" or "let's find an option for that".
Hopefully your surgeon gave you a meal plan to follow that will graduate you from liquids, to purees, to soft mushies, to regular cooked food. For many of us that takes four to six weeks.
You will feel so much better when you start soft mushies and may start to get some energy back. The foods that you have to leave behind are the ones that really weren't food at all. Instead of nutrition for your mechanical human body that your soul lives in, you were probably eating mostly factory edibles made from highly processed ingredients.
Now you can focus on what it takes to keep a human being alive. You will find that the human body does not need nearly as much food as we thought it did to thrive from day to day. As the pounds drop off, you will feel more encouraged that maybe you did do the right thing and will have a better quality of life because of it.
Worry is a waste of time. Poo poo happens in this life, whether it is spraining an ankle or getting reflux, or something more tragic and heart-breaking.
Hang in there kiddo. You have already made it through two weeks and lived to tell about. Keep coming here for encouragement. I wish you good luck and good health.

I think you need to make an appointment with your surgeon. It sounds like there are lots of questions you should have asked him before hand that you didn't.
Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Thank you so much for your opinion. Im new to the oils but will give them a try.

You look great!
I was feeling the exact same way before my VSG the other day. I was like, "Am I really doing this?? Should I be??"
In the long run I'm sure I'll be confident with my decision and you will too.
All your hard work and you should look the way you want! Good luck and looking forward to the "after" pics

You look great!
I was feeling the exact same way before my VSG the other day. I was like, "Am I really doing this?? Should I be??"
In the long run I'm sure I'll be confident with my decision and you will too.
All your hard work and you should look the way you want! Good luck and looking forward to the "after" pics

I am hoping that I will manage to go tomorrow, I will keep my fingers crossed for you too VSG4Mag

Dragoness- I had surgery the same day and feeling the same way.

Ive taken benefiber 4 times since I've been home and Miralax twice 😱

That guy deserves a biiiiiiiiiiiiig

I'd be slightly uncomfortable with someone like that digging through my guts -- great or not.

I am the opposite had weight loss surgery on 23/3/17 and have been constipated.

As a lightweight it sounds as if you're right on target. I remember I lost 19lbs. in my first month. That was pretty much the least of any DSer I knew. But I was like you. I knew I'd just keep chugging along. And I did. And I have. Almost 12 years later.

Hi swimbikerun, thank you. I think you got it right.. People believe you have to be severely overweight in order to justify WLS. I know the qualifications changed to a lower BMI a few years ago because obviously someone knew the benefits of it if you have health problems. Most people don't know that, all they see is my 600 lb life on tv and overweight celebrities getting the surgery. I am at the point now where I'm just not going to tell anyone.

To go through weight issues so early on in your life isn't what a child should ever have to do! Seems like the atmosphere of where you are, home or London, plays a big role in who you are and what you do. Is there a chance you can remove yourself again and be where you're most happiest? Other than that, second guessing surgery is normal. I had appts set twice and cancelled and finally said ok to the third and last appt. But this time (and after reading so many experiences that don't ever regret doing this) I'll get my life back, a new one though. So, it's quite normal having all these questions....just keep trudging on hon and I bet you'll be happy you went through it. Many blessings to you on your journey!! Keep us posted!