PorkChopExpress

The weight has been coming off, although I think I may be experiencing a little bit of a plateau right now, as I near the 300lb mark. I do think I'm probably retaining Water more than usual, because I'm not getting enough in every day. It's been hard to achieve. I've been driving deliveries for Amazon Flex, which is a little like the "on demand economy" jobs like Postmates and such. In Denver, they only have "dot com" orders, so I get a four hour block of time every day that they pay me a flat rate for, I go to the warehouse, load up my car and then head out to deliver packages. So I've been doing that while I look for work in my field (video editing). It's a bad time of the year to be looking for work though, so I'm glad I have this type of stuff I can do...and it's having the nice side effect of getting me a significant amount of exercise every day, which I need. But it does make things harder when it comes to getting my water in, etc... My stomach's capacity has been gradually increasing as time wears on. I'm up to around 2oz of meat or so per meal, as well as several Tbsp of carbs. I've been mixing the flavorless Protein with many things, to boost my protein intake...and I enjoy beef Jerky on the road while I'm out driving. My protein has been pretty good, I think. The water's just the challenge...that, and making sure I get all of my Vitamins. Calcium has been the biggest challenge, since it has to be taken 3x a day. Punching new holes in the belt is a good feeling...I'm a LONG way from where I started, on that thing. But I know that ultimately, I'm going to end up having to hike my pants up to my ACTUAL waist, which I've already done with my jeans. It feels really weird and a little uncomfortable...I've got no memory of ever having worn my pants that way. But the nice thing is that when I do that, and put on my belt, I'm on the same notch that I started on at 385...but around my belly button now, instead of down below my gut, with the back hanging down like I'm some kind of gangster rapper. That's a good feeling. Life's thrown me a ton of curveballs over the past few years and it continues, but at least I feel good about how this process is going. It has had the interesting effect of causing me to be interested in pursuing activities that I'd have never considered before, because they weren't realistic...like snowboarding. I really want to learn how, next winter. The fact that my weight loss feels inevitable now has made that seem totally realistic, whereas before I'd have just had to say, "Maybe someday." There are actually a lot of things that my weight made impossible that I am looking forward to being able to do. Even just something as simple as driving Go-Karts. It doesn't feel like an "if" anymore, but a "when." That's a nice feeling.

Thanksgiving was not bad, the food (what I could eat of it) was very good...my brother-in-law is handy with a smoker, and we had smoked turkey and pork loin. Had a little of each and it was excellent. A little bit of mashed potatoes, and I was done. I did feel good about it when everyone else was talking about being stuffed or having eaten too much, and I was feeling just fine...but at the same time, sitting in front of a giant spread did make me mentally wistful for the days where I could try some of everything. I had to be judicious this year and so I switched out the large plate for the "roll" plate, eyeballed my portion of meat and potato onto it, and that was that. A couple hours later, I had a tiny sliver of pumpkin pie, just because I like it so much and it's a Thanksgiving thing...but just enough to get three bites or so. Honestly, that was just fine...I got the taste and that was good enough. Of course the subject of the surgery came up and how I'm able to eat like this now...I just joked that the surgery doesn't really allow you to do anything else! There's simply no room to overeat. But having lost about 73lbs now in the space of 2 1/2 months at last weigh-in yesterday...that's about all you need to say about the benefits of eating my little portion of food vs. gorging myself on everything at the Thanksgiving table. Once again, it's a mental thing. Those old tendrils of my obese self and all his bad habits, sitting in front of that big Thanksgiving spread and saying, "I want to overeat, now." But I really didn't miss it. I might have had a little regret in not being able to try everything, but it was no big deal. Hope everyone reading had a good Thanksgiving!

I do think that regardless of what we do, we are just going to have to live with a temporary loss of muscle mass until we get close to goal weight. The caloric deficit is just too great, after these surgeries, for a prolonged amount of time. But muscle has memory, so we can get it back!

I'm just finally getting back online with my PC after over a week...I really had to hit the ground running after the move. I've been driving deliveries for various "on demand" companies (mainly Amazon Flex), as I wait for someone to call about putting me on a freelance editing job somewhere. The lifting and carrying and going up stairs, it's all made me keenly aware of how much muscle mass and strength I've lost since before the surgery. I just feel weak. Fortunately, after about a week or so of it, my body seems to be adapting. So that's good. The change in altitude probably didn't help! I have been in "try anything" mode, as my surgeon had suggested. I've been trying to avoid fats, and still staying away from sugar...but I did try a slice of pizza during a social outing, something which my gastrointestinal system made very clear the next day was NOT appreciated. I actually like that it did, though - I like having my body give me disincentives to eating poorly. It's a real challenge when you're invited to go out with other couples and it's a place where you really can't eat much of anything on the menu. I reached the last hole on my belt, and my shorts/pants are now falling down again when I walk. I tried on some pants that we had in storage, and they actually fit around where my waist ACTUALLY is. It feels really, really weird wearing them that way, though...I've spent most of my life wearing them so low, under my gut and fat rolls, that having them up around my belly button is STRANGE. I also feel like it looks weird. It's a bit disappointing, the idea that I would then have to go back all those belt holes to wear my pants correctly...but I suppose I'd better start getting used to it.

Nope, don't worry about it...trust me, your body will catch up. Part of the healing process is the retention of water, and part of the process of fat cells shrinking is - you guessed it - water retention. Just make sure you are doing your very best to get as much water as you can, and eventually your body will dump all of that water and you'll start seeing the scale move. And I'd advise just staying away from the scale for a while, anyway. It messes with the mind too much.

I wish I'd known about GENEPRO powder, I was so sick of chocolate "shakes" after four weeks of them... Otherwise, I was pretty knowledgeable after all the time spent in classes and support groups, and reading the internet and such. I think there are unknowns that nobody can prepare you for because they'll be uniquely yours, because it's the mental component we struggle with that makes up the majority of this fight.

Almost everyone in my life only knows me as an obese man. The only people who remember me any differently are the ones I go all the way back to High School and before, with. My wife married an obese man. So almost everyone in my life is going to have the same adjustment to deal with that I will, in the new version of me that they see. It's like if I decided to shave my sideburns and goatee, and get contacts. People would be a little freaked out by it, at first. Over time, though, they'd get used to it. Who knows man, maybe I will be uglier when I've reached my goals! But I'll be healthy and feeling great, so it's worth the trade-off, to me.

That stuff sucks, I know it. I have had to turn down invitations to go to sporting events because the seats are too narrow for me to even sit down in. Probably not right now, but a couple of months ago they certainly were. Now, I'd probably be able to SQUEEZE into them...but I'd still be really uncomfortable. Someone asked a couple weeks ago what was the number one thing people were looking forward to about losing weight. My answer was simple - not having to think about my weight/size anymore. Considerations like "Will I fit" will not even exist, anymore. It's going to be so liberating. You're on the road, the time is coming...you've already taken the biggest step in deciding to do it, so just focus and stay dedicated to your process, you'll get there

Four weeks post-op I was allowed to start on regular vitamins (Centrum). I was right there with you, the chewables were making me gag.

Well, I'm a Libertarian so my hope is that more and more people will realize that the result we had this election was the direct result of the duopoly that forces people into a "one or the other" mindset. We need more choices and in this day and age, with information at our fingertips and sites like isidewith.com to help us narrow the field, there is no reason we should be stuck in this two-party mindset. Except that Americans just seem to love rooting for teams.

At least we have four years of funny Trump memes to look forward to.

One Trader Joe's turkey meatball with one TBSP of mashed potato. I was so happy.

I dig peanuts and peanut butter, but it's a little too high in fat. That's the only problem.

Bear in mind that my fridge is emptying out because I'm moving this weekend...normally I'd have more store-bought stuff on my menu for the day. This is me halfway into week 7 post-op. Today it's been like so: Breakfast: 1 scrambled egg with onion and a little cheese, some fruit puree from Trader Joe's (a few spoonfulls) Protein drink (1 scoop of GENEPRO with a 16oz cup of Crystal Light mix/water Lunch: 1.5oz of chopped up chicken satay from a restaurant I like (tossed in the peanut sauce) and a couple TBSP of potato salad with egg Dinner: A small side order of String Bean Chicken from Panda Express grabbed on my way to work (I didn't quite finish it) Will probably add a little protein powder to my drink later to make sure I get enough for the day, as well.

I was driving on my own after a week of recovery time, probably could have done it after a few days if I'd really had to, but I was good to go after a week.

I think one thing that keeps driving home how much I've lost is my belt. I was on the fifth hole (tight) when I started all this at 385. I'm now on the last hole and will have to start punching new ones, before too long. I plan to make this belt a reminder of where I came from...I'm just going to keep punching new holes. Until someone tells me it looks ugly and I have to stop, that is.

I had a couple crates of stuff that had gotten way too small for me over the years. I waited until I had hit a couple of new belt loops on my belt and noticed my t-shirts were getting pretty big, and dug into them (this was about two weeks ago). I found that about half of the stuff fit me perfectly. So I took the "big" clothes and donated them, and started wearing the stuff I'd pulled out of storage. I think in about a month or so, I'll be getting into the rest of the stuff that didn't fit and doing it again. After that, I'm going to have to wait until those clothes are clearly too big and then start looking at Goodwill...because that will mean I'm into 2x territory again, which is a size I haven't been able to wear since I was probably twenty years old. That's going to be exciting.

I'm looking forward to moving back to my home state of Colorado this weekend. We split the family up about eight months ago, as my wife was able to find teaching work and have help with the kids with my parents, rent-free in my home state. I stayed behind, as I work in the entertainment industry (video editor) and the thought was that I could make more money to help us pay down the debts that way, and come visit regularly. It hasn't worked out that way though, and it's been harder on everyone than expected. So I started putting the word out in the Denver area that I'm coming available, and I've had a few encouraging meetings with local production facilities and boutiques. No job yet, but I will be doing rideshare/delivery driving to bridge the gap. Thank goodness for the "on demand" economy. It has been a benefit and a difficulty, enduring the recovery from surgery alone. I had my wife here the weekend of surgery and my mom came to help the first week, but since then it's been all me. It's been good, in that my schedule could be much more regimented and I was able to make sure I was getting everything when I needed it, both meals and Vitamins. When I visited them for four days over Halloween weekend, it proved to be WORLDS harder to get everything, there was just too much going on. Plus, I was much more tired than I expected, dealing with our three kids and doing/going/etc... But I'll have a couple more weeks of recovery on me this weekend and I'm feeling pretty good. The vitamins and mealtimes will just have to become a routine amidst the relative chaos of family life, again. But I've missed my wife and the kids, and I know they've missed me. So it's going to be good to reunite the family and keep forging ahead with the financial battle, as I fight my fat loss and fitness battle. It's a battle I think my wife expects to join me in, this coming summer. I think it's good that I went first, so I can help and advise with her recovery, and the mental challenges. In the end, the situation should work toward the good. In some ways, leaving LA behind after building a career here and living here a third of my life is weird, and a little nerve-wracking, not knowing what the future holds...much as I didn't love it here, I'm used to it. But whenever I go visit CO, I feel "at home" and I've never felt that way coming back here. So I'm sure I'll get over it. Lots of changes in life, this year...and a lot more to come, next year.