M579

I'm 19.5 months post-op (sleeve surgery). I am a woman and a social drinker, defined (for women) as having no more than one alcoholic drink (1.5 ounces of spirits or 5 ounces of wine) a day and no more than 7 drinks in a week. I have one drink most days, but not every day.
Earlier this week, I brought up the subject of social drinking to my psychologist whom I've been seeing for the last 24 months. Like the OP, he has a Ph.D. in psychology. Although he has a general practice, his practice includes many bariatric patients and others who have medical conditions and need to improve their self-care. He also delivers day-long pre-op bariatric surgery orientation and educational classes, so he's very well versed in the latest research re WLS patients' nutritional challenges (which vary considerably according to the specific WLS they undergo), emotional challenges, medical complications, the potential for transfer addictions and pre-conditions and correlates related to those transfer addictions, and anything else you'd expect someone who teaches that class and consults with bariatric patients to know.
I raised the subject of social drinking with my psychologist to invite his perspective about my current use of alcohol because a few months ago my husband's cancer reappeared after being in remission for less than a year. In addition to being my husband's primary care giver, I don't want to do anything to jeopardize my own self-care as a recovering obese person.
Specifically, I asked him if he thought I should be drinking at this time, if he thought I was drinking too much, and what red flags around alcohol could appear in circumstances like mine. We had a great discussion. He repeated several things which I had learned from studying research studies available online as well, including:
1. Transfer addictions with alcohol do happen, but not to the extent that this topic is discussed in the lay literature. He said that most people who have trouble with alcohol post-op had trouble with alcohol pre-op.
2. He said that there is a smaller percentage (5% or 6%) of WLS patients who did NOT have alcohol issues pre-op who do develop problems with alcohol post-op.
3. He said that my continuing social drinking is something I should keep a mindful awareness of -- about not only how much I'm drinking but why I'm drinking and what benefits I derive from it. He asked why I drink, and I answered that I enjoy the ritual of it and the tastes of it -- either a scotch before dinner or a glass of wine paired with the meal. He asked if I ever drank to inebriation, and I said no, that's not why I drink.
4. He said he would be concerned if I were to use alcohol to medicate or manage my emotions in times of stress. I'm not doing that -- even now. Alcohol has never been my go-to drug to medicate my feelings.
I'm in the camp of @@CowgirlJane and others here in that of all the things I worry about wasting calories on, the 100-135 calories spent on a pre-dinner single malt scotch or a glass of wine with dinner is the least of my worries. (My current maintenance calorie budget is 1,800/day.)
However, the substance I do struggle with in terms of portion-creep that challenges my discipline is chocolate -- specifically, dark chocolate with sea salt. About six weeks ago I had to declare a moratorium on that stuff. Over a period of three months, I'd edged up from one square of chocolate after dinner to two squares to four squares to (gulp!) six squares ... every damn night! I seriously doubt that dark chocolate is a toxin, but it was sure about to make me its b***h!
So for me, mindfulness, moderation and common sense will be the keys to my maintenance success. But total abstinence and perfection -- not so much.
EDIT: P.S. I've lost 100 pounds and now weigh 135 pounds. I reached my initial weight loss goal (150 pounds) 8.5 months post-op. I've weighed at or below that weight for the last year.

Speaking only for myself, I'd prefer an occasional glass of wine to an occasional four Cookies, hands down.
I'm an adult. I'm educated and capable of educating myself about the pros and cons of alcohol intake now that I'm sleeved.
I neither want or need anything beyond education on the matter from my bariatric team. Like every bite I put in my mouth and every step I take toward improved fitness, these are my responsibilities for my life, and my lifetime. I neither want nor need draconian edicts in an attempt to scare me into adherence into what anyone thinks I "must" do, or not. It's paternalistic, patronizing, and unwelcome.