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aimbow

Pre Op
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Posts posted by aimbow

  4. Posted

    I hesitated to join this discussion because I have such conflicting feelings about weight now.
    On the one hand, I have a lot of compassion for people who are hugely overweight. Science is finding that it's not a willpower issue, and as I've personally learned it's not anywhere near as easy to control weight as some people think (and I used to think). Even when I was heavy, I used to think it was just because I was failing and lacked the willpower to do the right things. Now I know how badly the deck is stacked against us.
    I'm also a huge supporter of body positivity. Regardless of size or ability, people deserve to be treated with respect and dignity. There's no reason for anyone to receive substandard medical care because they're heavy, or be ridiculed by people in the street. Hating your body/self is counter productive to being healthy, and health should be the goal, not some ridiculous idea of what looks good that's pushed by media and photoshop. Being overweight does not automatically mean someone is unhealthy, just as being thin doesn't automatically mean someone is healthy.
    That being said, there is a point where the weight interferes with movement and being able to care for oneself. As a nurse, I cannot consider that level of overweight to be anywhere near healthy, and this is one of the drawbacks I see to the body positivity movement. When I see someone who cannot move properly and maintain good hygiene because of the weight, I cannot help but wonder why they don't see that SOMETHING has to be done. Of course, drastic measures require access to medical care and many people in this country don't have it, so there's that. But I want so badly to channel Whoopie Goldberg's character from Ghost and grab them and say "you in danger, girl!!".
    As for dating and relationships with people who are quite heavy... I am SO VERY GLAD to not be in the dating scene anymore. But if I were, I would not want to date someone who would jeopardize my health by constantly exposing me to unhealthy eating habits and sedentary pursuits. I'm doing all of this so I can get more active and be healthier, and would only be interested in spending time with someone who is also interested in healthy eating and activity. I don't think badly of people who aren't, but this has to become a big part of my life and factor into my serious relationships. It's more like if I were a recovering alcoholic, it would be a poor choice to get in a relationship with someone who drinks regularly. As it is, I'm lucky that my hubby wants to be more active, I'm actually the one who's dragging us down right now with my weight and chronic health issues. He'll go along with whatever I want to do.
    I think ultimately we should seek out people with similar goals and priorities to ourselves, especially for romantic relationships. If one of our primary goals and highest priorities is our health, we should seek out people who feel the same and express that in their lives. Otherwise, our goals and priorities tend to change to meet those of the people we spend the most time with, and that can be detrimental to our health.

    JA


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