shrinkingnicola

I had the sleeve 8 months ago, and suddenly my reflux is horrific. It has been bad since surgery, but now it's doubly bad. Is this typical? What makes the reflux get so bad?

Hi everyone! I need some help. Please help! Just some background about me - I'm bipolar and have complex PTSD. I've had tons of hospitalizations and day treatment and stuff, but I've been doing well for 5 or 6 years and had sleeve surgery 8 months ago. Often, my negative self-talk sabotages my efforts and I've been stuck now for quite some time. With the complex PTSD, self-talk can be such a bear, and you work with it and work with it and it is like an abusive partner you can never get rid of. So here's the problem. After losing about 75 pounds, I hit a really bad plateau and had some really difficult stuff happening emotionally and went on a vacation (and my mother was always so strict about food intake that any trip feels like a massive excuse to have a food party) where I ate lots of junk. Then I've been constantly feeling hungry, maybe due to acid or ulcer issues ( Will soon be having tests) so I've eaten extra (grazing or eating extra snacks) and I feel I've stretched my stomach or something and maybe screwed everything up, although my nutritionist promises me this is not so. Then I started to feel like it's all over - that I've gotten as far as I can and I've screwed it all up and can't fix it. I know comparing isn't helpful but I feel like "everyone else" has done so much better than me. I feel like I've lost my motivation and I can't understand why/how that could happen after going through a massive, potentially life-threatening surgery. My body image is so messed up, I feel really huge and that's demotivating. Then when I feel ashamed, I eat. For the last week, I've been on vacation with my family and just eaten whatever because I can't fight all this while on vacation with 2 food addicts. Including an 11 y.o. who loves I've cream and pizza and while at amusement parks where temptations abound. I tell myself I shouldn't be eating this, and that's as far as anything goes before I'm just dismissing that notion and putting the food in my mouth. What's wrong with me? I have a therapist, a psychiatrist, a personal trainer, and other good supports. But they can't be with me 24/7. I'm a very spiritual, but not religious person and think I can maybe work with this on that level. Anyway, sorry for rambling. I'd appreciate ANY advice about how to work with my mind to turn things around. Thanks so much. Sorry this was so long. Sent from my VS980 4G using the BariatricPal App

My goodness, people have been responding to this and I didn't know ... I hadn't been receiving notifications. I'm just stopping in to give folks an update. I wanted to thank everyone for their input and feedback. I've made some changes and have been feeling more in control of my ability to follow through - that's what it's all about, I think. At least for me, that's why I had the surgery in the first place, because I'd felt so out of control of my weight and my health. I figured having the surgery would make enough of a bodily and emotional shift to put the ball back in my court. But it's so easy to let things spiral out of control again so nothing in my life feels manageable. So I'm working on some of the things I discussed with folks over the weekend and getting back on track. I'm a raging b!+€h, I think because of sugar detox???? and also hormones, but that's just a passing problem. I'm glad I've identified it. That does happen, right ... Sugar detox rage / blues / crankiness???? Time to work on the meditation thing? Thank you all so much again for your support. I'll read the new responses as soon as I can.

Djmohr, I might give that a whirl, thanks. Maybe not for 2 weeks bc out was hard enough the first time, after surgery. But a system reset sounds like a helpful idea.

The other thing too is my physical addiction to sugar. That's probably worse than all the psychological stuff, with cravings that are like a screaming 3 year old. Once I have a thought about consuming something junky, the thoughts don't stop until I've eaten that thing. Quitting sugar is harder than quitting any other substance. But I've done it before. Why can't I do it now? Aarghh!

Honestly, I don't know how anybody who needs WLS can not have an eating disorder. I know there are physical components, but I think we become extremely obese from a combination of factors.

Somebody a ways back mentioned rules. As a person with ASD, are you very rules focused? If so, maybe that suggestion could help. I have mental illness as well with a very severe history and I felt like I was constantly on trial and every step of the way, I had to prove I was as stable as anyone else going through the process. It sucks. I'm sorry. I wish I had advice.

Answers to some questions: Meds: my meds are often adjusted for best optimization but cannot take care of everything. Therapy: I don't have an eating disorder therapist, but he is the most gifted therapist I've ever met and knows a great deal about trauma and addiction and body work as well. However, the shortcoming of our therapy is a lack of structure with problem solving. Meditating: I have those meditations that were suggested but never got into them. I've just started a Zen / Mindfulness group that holds a lot of promise, but having the discipline to practice at home ... Mother: I have no contact with her currently but she will always be a heavy burden to bear. Diary; good idea. I'll try it. I'm also trying to do some recovery scrapbooking and make a running list of all NSVs. Sent from my VS980 4G using the BariatricPal App

Are you having gastroparesis symptoms after having a gastric sleeve? Or did you have a balloon? They told me the sleeve would probably cure my gastroparesis. I'm sick now with some difficult stomach issues, 8 months post-op. They're gonna run some tests very soon, but are not suspecting gastroparesis and are thinking I may have an ulcer. Sent from my VS980 4G using the BariatricPal App