biginjapan

February 13th!

Here in Japan they tout the benefits of bariatric surgery as reduced living expenses (mostly food) at $350-600 a month and reduced taxi costs, because apparently obese people take taxis everywhere they go.
Interestingly, only about 150 procedures are done annually here, and there appears to be only 10 places where you can get it done (personally I only found 2).
Even if my insurance covered the procedure, I'd still be about $6000 out of pocket here, and that, combined with the lack of proper patient care in hospitals, the language barrier, and the fact that my place of employment would be informed of my exact medical procedures, is why I've decided to do it in Mexico instead. So, in addition to Protein powders and Vitamins that I have to ship here internationally, it means it will probably take a longer for the surgery to "pay off", but that's not really a concern for me at all. I'm doing this for my health, any other benefits are just icing on the cake. (or should I say Protein in the shake?)

Here in Japan they tout the benefits of bariatric surgery as reduced living expenses (mostly food) at $350-600 a month and reduced taxi costs, because apparently obese people take taxis everywhere they go.
Interestingly, only about 150 procedures are done annually here, and there appears to be only 10 places where you can get it done (personally I only found 2).
Even if my insurance covered the procedure, I'd still be about $6000 out of pocket here, and that, combined with the lack of proper patient care in hospitals, the language barrier, and the fact that my place of employment would be informed of my exact medical procedures, is why I've decided to do it in Mexico instead. So, in addition to Protein powders and Vitamins that I have to ship here internationally, it means it will probably take a longer for the surgery to "pay off", but that's not really a concern for me at all. I'm doing this for my health, any other benefits are just icing on the cake. (or should I say Protein in the shake?)

Perhaps that is because of the high membership of this group, the varying regions and quality of care or because people here are less fearful of reporting.
If you ask my bariatric team, they deem my surgery as 100% successful because I hit goal weight at 4 months out according to their records.
Because they only measure weight loss and not health, I am not reported in their stream as having "complications".
I keep a presence here to support anyone I can. If I can eventually recover, then other people with near fatal post op complications can.
The symptoms my team said were because I was "anxious", were because of a serious, contagious clostridium difficile infection that could have also been fatal. Not to mention passing the infection to dozens of other people.
I was left with only a diagnosis. I had to fight for meds, re testing and no medical person ever once supported me or gave me information.
It was devastating to be abandoned when you are physically and emotionally fighting to recover.
I have my faith, but so many don't and need support.
I receive messages here frequently, from people suffering from post op complications, who don't message publicly.
I even get messages thanking me for refusing to stop supporting other people publicly, thanking me for telling my story.
I want post op folks to know that it is okay to feel regret. And for people who are really sick, telling them how great they will feel about it all because the weight is coming off, is really not helpful.
Really sick people who are losing weight through malnutrition and illness, are not pleased about it.
People who may have known pre op about the nausea, baldness, etc may not have truly appreciated the degree of these normal post op issues and have regrets.
For example, If the reason you want to lose weight is so you can be more mobile, to be more social, yet your baldness now prevents you, regrets are normal.
Regrets don't magically disappear at 3 weeks, 3 months or 6 months.
But the issues do change. The way you eat does change. Some infections heal, such as incision sites and some you battle with indefinitely like c diff.
Some people lose hair, others go bald and some lose no hair at all. My daughter would rather be bald than to be fat. I wouldn't.
I wasn't worried about loose skin. I knew that I would have some and planned to have it surgically removed. Now I can't as I am an unsuitable candidate. The skin on my thighs now impedes me from walking comfortably and it limits the clothes I can wear.
So some of my personal reasons for having surgery were not corrected by my vsg.
Hearing all the wonderful stories of weightloss, full health etc makes me happy. I love seeing people blessed and living well.
This was not my outcome. I just want people's expectations and information to be correct.
And most of all, for people to feel accepted, supported, heard and understood.
Even when they are being silly, emotional, reckless, going off plan, there might be genuinely intentioned people needing help.
Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Have fun with it like I am. Tell them that you are intentionally slimming down so that you can work in the adult film industry again. That will leave them questioning, again??? Usually when I'm asked how I am losing the weight I respond with "The Mexico Water diet, I crap out all of my fat".

What a great blog you have! You express a lot of the same thoughts I have about WLS.

Pretty much all that has been said here already:
-being able to fit into chairs
-being able to wear a belt, or anything that ties around the waist
-wearing pants/skirts that don't have an elastic waistband
-wearing cute dresses, and connected to that, being able to wear heels on occasion
-not having to face the subtle discrimination that exists everywhere - being passed over for promotions, not being invited out for social events, getting sidelong glances on the subway, people who look away when I smile or greet them on the street
-since I travel a lot, the airline seat is a real problem for me, as I am very pear-shaped and spill over no matter what. For my upcoming surgery in Mexico I've booked a business class seat because I know that I will not fit into a 17-inch seat, and even if I'm willing to try, I don't want to do it post-op when I'm flying back home. The cost of the ticket is almost the same cost of the surgery, but that's something I already planned on when considering the surgery. To make a long story short, I'm looking forward to not having to worry about fitting into my seat, or whether I'll be able to let the tray down so I can eat or use my computer, and hopefully never having to raise the armrest again.
and
-being healthier, stronger, and knowing I have made, and am making, better choices for my mind and body

Here's my answer to why I chose the surgery.
http://www.theantichick.com/2016/08/05/the-easy-way-out/
I'm a nurse and have done the research, and diet/exercise alone for most people does not work long term.
Also
http://www.theantichick.com/2016/09/11/three-weeks-in-my-sleeve/
The changes with the sleeve are really making a HUGE change in how I interact with food. I'm working on a new post and hopefully will have it up over the weekend talking about how this is changing my emotional dependence on food.< /p>

February 13th!

Pretty much all that has been said here already:
-being able to fit into chairs
-being able to wear a belt, or anything that ties around the waist
-wearing pants/skirts that don't have an elastic waistband
-wearing cute dresses, and connected to that, being able to wear heels on occasion
-not having to face the subtle discrimination that exists everywhere - being passed over for promotions, not being invited out for social events, getting sidelong glances on the subway, people who look away when I smile or greet them on the street
-since I travel a lot, the airline seat is a real problem for me, as I am very pear-shaped and spill over no matter what. For my upcoming surgery in Mexico I've booked a business class seat because I know that I will not fit into a 17-inch seat, and even if I'm willing to try, I don't want to do it post-op when I'm flying back home. The cost of the ticket is almost the same cost of the surgery, but that's something I already planned on when considering the surgery. To make a long story short, I'm looking forward to not having to worry about fitting into my seat, or whether I'll be able to let the tray down so I can eat or use my computer, and hopefully never having to raise the armrest again.
and
-being healthier, stronger, and knowing I have made, and am making, better choices for my mind and body

Pretty much all that has been said here already:
-being able to fit into chairs
-being able to wear a belt, or anything that ties around the waist
-wearing pants/skirts that don't have an elastic waistband
-wearing cute dresses, and connected to that, being able to wear heels on occasion
-not having to face the subtle discrimination that exists everywhere - being passed over for promotions, not being invited out for social events, getting sidelong glances on the subway, people who look away when I smile or greet them on the street
-since I travel a lot, the airline seat is a real problem for me, as I am very pear-shaped and spill over no matter what. For my upcoming surgery in Mexico I've booked a business class seat because I know that I will not fit into a 17-inch seat, and even if I'm willing to try, I don't want to do it post-op when I'm flying back home. The cost of the ticket is almost the same cost of the surgery, but that's something I already planned on when considering the surgery. To make a long story short, I'm looking forward to not having to worry about fitting into my seat, or whether I'll be able to let the tray down so I can eat or use my computer, and hopefully never having to raise the armrest again.
and
-being healthier, stronger, and knowing I have made, and am making, better choices for my mind and body

Pretty much all that has been said here already:
-being able to fit into chairs
-being able to wear a belt, or anything that ties around the waist
-wearing pants/skirts that don't have an elastic waistband
-wearing cute dresses, and connected to that, being able to wear heels on occasion
-not having to face the subtle discrimination that exists everywhere - being passed over for promotions, not being invited out for social events, getting sidelong glances on the subway, people who look away when I smile or greet them on the street
-since I travel a lot, the airline seat is a real problem for me, as I am very pear-shaped and spill over no matter what. For my upcoming surgery in Mexico I've booked a business class seat because I know that I will not fit into a 17-inch seat, and even if I'm willing to try, I don't want to do it post-op when I'm flying back home. The cost of the ticket is almost the same cost of the surgery, but that's something I already planned on when considering the surgery. To make a long story short, I'm looking forward to not having to worry about fitting into my seat, or whether I'll be able to let the tray down so I can eat or use my computer, and hopefully never having to raise the armrest again.
and
-being healthier, stronger, and knowing I have made, and am making, better choices for my mind and body

Pretty much all that has been said here already:
-being able to fit into chairs
-being able to wear a belt, or anything that ties around the waist
-wearing pants/skirts that don't have an elastic waistband
-wearing cute dresses, and connected to that, being able to wear heels on occasion
-not having to face the subtle discrimination that exists everywhere - being passed over for promotions, not being invited out for social events, getting sidelong glances on the subway, people who look away when I smile or greet them on the street
-since I travel a lot, the airline seat is a real problem for me, as I am very pear-shaped and spill over no matter what. For my upcoming surgery in Mexico I've booked a business class seat because I know that I will not fit into a 17-inch seat, and even if I'm willing to try, I don't want to do it post-op when I'm flying back home. The cost of the ticket is almost the same cost of the surgery, but that's something I already planned on when considering the surgery. To make a long story short, I'm looking forward to not having to worry about fitting into my seat, or whether I'll be able to let the tray down so I can eat or use my computer, and hopefully never having to raise the armrest again.
and
-being healthier, stronger, and knowing I have made, and am making, better choices for my mind and body

@@sbg224
Your post was just what I needed to hear! I finally booked my surgery this weekend and can't wait for February to roll around. My stats are very similar to yours and I hope that I can enjoy the same success you have had!

It took me 30 years of fighting obesity, every diet you can imagine, sometimes multiple times, like weight watchers, not that I don't believe some people can do it, but it is a very small percentage, and finally 3 years to really decide I was going to get drastic and do the gastric sleeve. I am terrified of surgery and it was a very big difficult decision. Sometimes I still cannot believe I have actually done it and it is now almost 16 months and 117lbs down. 17 more lbs to reach my goal.
Anyway I am now able to postpone my left knee replacement, NSV and I went to Seaworld and the Wild animal Park, San Diego last week and was able to walk around both parks, only sitting occasionally, still have arthritis in knees, but the weight loss has made such a tremendous difference. I walked hills that i would not dare 2 years ago to even attempt, and my husband could not believe it either, another huge NSV.
So if you are having any doubts, the doubt should be what took so lo
ng, do it, it is amazing, and absolutely life changing for the better. Good luck to all, and go for it.

This is something I look forward to too. Living abroad means I fly internationally at least twice a year, although luckily most times travelling in Asia means I'll be next to some tiny person, so even when I "spill" over, they still have room. I love to travel, but the anxiety over whether I'll fit in the seats (seats that have hard dividers between them are a nightmare and I can no longer fit into them) is really starting to get to me and I too look very hard at seat sizes to choose my airlines, and possibly buying two seats on trains to stay comfortable.
Similarly, I have come to realise that I am postponing long-awaited trips and activities because of my weight. Even though I've always been overweight (and more recently obese), I've always, until recently, been able to do things like go on multi-day kayaking trips and hike up mountains. But now even a simple to moderate day hike worries me due to back, knee, and feet issues.
So I'm looking forward to:
Being able to fly comfortably and not be a nuisance to others
Being able to plan travel the way I want, with the only limitations being time and/or money, not my body or health issues
Crossing my legs
Going back to my regular shoe size
Wearing heels with a dress
Being able to buy off the rack in a normal store
Not having to worry about "chub rub" ruining a pair of pants within weeks, if not days, of wearing them
Not having to wear leggings, stockings, or other body-hugging items, also to deal with chub rub
Being able to walk around my students' desks without them always have to "tuck in" so I can pass by without squishing them
Being able to sit on the floor for somewhat extended periods of time (unfortunately something I can't do in Japan, which limits some places I can go to/experience)
I'd like to say I'd like to be able to experience an onsen again (hot spring bath) but I imagine that if and when I do lose the weight, the loose skin will be even more embarrassing for me, and if I get plastic surgery to deal with that, the scars would also keep me out, and if I got tattoos to cover the scars, well, they just won't let me in anyway. To be fair, I prefer bathing in the privacy of my own home, but it's such a part of Japanese culture it's awkward being the only one not participating at times.
I'm also looking forward to the day when men don't look at me in horror (or go out of their way to ignore me, or run from me) when I smile at them or just say hi to them (just being friendly, but they seem to think that if they show the slightest courtesy to me I'll be stalking them forever).

Have you seen this video of Dr. Illan doing a VGS? It's posted elsewhere on this site, but I'll add it again here. He pulls the stomach out at 34:50 (I think the incision is just above the belly button), and you can see the whole stomach inflated right at the end of the video.
https://youtu.be/WQk-flD-NjI

Wow - I've been reading a lot of these stories and some reasons are familiar, but even the ones that aren't really resonate with me.
For most of life - from my teens to my early 30s, my weight went back and forth over the years and I usually ranged from a size 10 to 14/16. Not obese, but always overweight. But I was an active overweight person, and I felt much healthier than many of my skinny friends who did not exercise and ate junk all the time. I did hit a healthy BMI when I was 24 from all the dancing I was doing, but knee problems forced me to quit and the weight slowly crept up. I did manage to stay under 200 pounds until about 8 years ago the weight started to pile on and nothing I did would last long. WW, Southbeach diet, etc worked for a while, then I would stall and the weight would come back + more. I was depressed and the weight gain just made the depression worse. I remember my personal trainer talking to me about what I needed to do if I was serious about losing weight and I walked out on her - I was angry that she thought I wasn't doing my best, but at the same time I didn't want her to see me break down in tears. I never went back.
Like many people here, I had a lot of "well, I'll never let myself get to _____ weight," but it has happened time and again. The first WGD (weight gain defeat) was hitting 200 lbs. Around the same time, realising that I had stop fighting myself in the regular stores - the size 18s were barely fitting, and department stores like Sears had nothing I wanted to wear - and walking into a dedicated plus-size store for the first time. Walking from the parking lot into the store was really embarrassing, but once I was inside I was surrounded by clothes that fit and very positive people around me. Then I hit 220. Then 250. Now I'm fluctuating but hitting a high of 275. Over the past 10 years I have gained, with consistency, 10-15 pounds a year and nothing I do seems to stop it. My overall activity and eating patterns haven't changed (except when I try a new diet or exercise). I don't drink alcohol or any carbonated beverages anymore, no junk food other than chocolate (!), and I still get over 10,000 steps a day.
I had a couple of minor health problems last year that really reduced my ability to move and exercise, which is why I've gained so much in the last year (at least 20lbs). At the time I realised that I have no one to help me. I'm single and live alone. Most of my family and close friends are 1000's of miles away. I thought about "what if I die here" (in case of a worse case scenario - some recent events that happened to other people made me more aware) - because being an expat means you can't rely on what you know from home - and realised that it would be much cheaper for my family to cremate me, rather than to have my body flown home (airlines charge by the kilo). But even then, there was no "straw" that broke the camel's back. I woke up one morning, decided to (randomly) research weight loss surgery in Japan, came across a post from this site, and I haven't looked back since.
Maybe my brain, my subconscious, whatever, was quietly making a list of problems that I just couldn't ignore, so that when I woke up that morning about 6 weeks ago, it knew that I needed to start making some real changes in my life and that this would be the best way to do it. Now that I've decided to do it, this surgery, this new life plan, has become my new obsession. It's the most positive thing that has happened to me in a while, and I really hope it works out!
None of these is the straw, but they've all contributed:
Living in a country where absolutely no clothes fit me (I don't even know where obese Japanese women get their clothes - I have a feeling quite a few make them) As a result of the above, spending a ton of money on online shopping and shipping, knowing that it's not worth returning if it doesn't fit, and having to make do with what comes Also because of the above, spending a lot of time looking for stores with plus-size sections when I do travel abroad because I need clothes - bottoms fall apart in the heat and humidity here, and tops seem to shrink with time Worrying about fitting into plane and train seats when I travel Having to bring extra clothes when I travel in case things (especially pants) get ruined by the dreaded chub rub Having to deal with extra heavy or larger suitcases because of my bigger clothes Having 90% of my shoes not fit anymore because of the weight gain and edema (especially in the summer) The looks I get from people all the time. It's not disgust, more like amazement - how can somebody be that big? She must eat 24/7! The fact that people feel they can comment on my weight at any time - from my little nephew asking me why I was so fat, to a Buddhist monk in Burma commenting on my need to exercise more and eat less (!). I'll never see the monk again but I hope the next time I see my nephew he won't even remember asking me that question. My brother laughing at me when we Skyped over Christmas. He hadn't seen me for a few years and he had no problems making me feel humiliated when I was already so depressed. His "just eat one meal a day like I do" didn't help either Friends "forgetting" about me - I get a lot of excuses when I ask people to do things, but they never get back to me about getting together when a time is convenient for them Still single. I've accepted that part of my life but I also want a chance of happiness with someone. That will never happen while I'm in the obese part of the BMI. The only time men seem interested me is when I weigh less than 150 pounds, and it's been a long a time since I was that low. Realising that, over the past 6 years, I have missed 2 family reunions and have avoided visiting friends from a thinner time in my life because I don't want to see the look of shock on their faces when they see the current me. Every time I see that look (like "what the he!! happened!") it's just so depressing Also realising that I keep postponing trips and activities I want to do because I know my weight will either prevent me from doing all that I want, or will really get in the way Looking at photos of myself with my students or other people and realising I am more than double their width Hitting 275. That's a big blow and I definitely do not, cannot, will not hit 300.

Alright, updates please! I'm down to my lowest adult weight and I wore shorts this summer! I didn't even realize I wanted to do that. I forgot what it was like to have shorts!

This is something I look forward to too. Living abroad means I fly internationally at least twice a year, although luckily most times travelling in Asia means I'll be next to some tiny person, so even when I "spill" over, they still have room. I love to travel, but the anxiety over whether I'll fit in the seats (seats that have hard dividers between them are a nightmare and I can no longer fit into them) is really starting to get to me and I too look very hard at seat sizes to choose my airlines, and possibly buying two seats on trains to stay comfortable.
Similarly, I have come to realise that I am postponing long-awaited trips and activities because of my weight. Even though I've always been overweight (and more recently obese), I've always, until recently, been able to do things like go on multi-day kayaking trips and hike up mountains. But now even a simple to moderate day hike worries me due to back, knee, and feet issues.
So I'm looking forward to:
Being able to fly comfortably and not be a nuisance to others
Being able to plan travel the way I want, with the only limitations being time and/or money, not my body or health issues
Crossing my legs
Going back to my regular shoe size
Wearing heels with a dress
Being able to buy off the rack in a normal store
Not having to worry about "chub rub" ruining a pair of pants within weeks, if not days, of wearing them
Not having to wear leggings, stockings, or other body-hugging items, also to deal with chub rub
Being able to walk around my students' desks without them always have to "tuck in" so I can pass by without squishing them
Being able to sit on the floor for somewhat extended periods of time (unfortunately something I can't do in Japan, which limits some places I can go to/experience)
I'd like to say I'd like to be able to experience an onsen again (hot spring bath) but I imagine that if and when I do lose the weight, the loose skin will be even more embarrassing for me, and if I get plastic surgery to deal with that, the scars would also keep me out, and if I got tattoos to cover the scars, well, they just won't let me in anyway. To be fair, I prefer bathing in the privacy of my own home, but it's such a part of Japanese culture it's awkward being the only one not participating at times.
I'm also looking forward to the day when men don't look at me in horror (or go out of their way to ignore me, or run from me) when I smile at them or just say hi to them (just being friendly, but they seem to think that if they show the slightest courtesy to me I'll be stalking them forever).

Hi everyone,
I'm new here, but I've been on it every day for weeks now, ever since one morning I woke up and decided to research gastric sleeve surgery. I live in Japan, and a couple of years ago another member here wrote about his experiences of getting the sleeve done in Japan. He didn't pay much, but that's not an option for me now, because I'd have to pay full price, which is similar, if not more, than what it is the States. So right now I'm researching doctors in Tijuana, as that's probably where I'll get it done once I save enough money and am on break from work.
This is an amazing site and I'm so glad to have found it!

Wow - I've been reading a lot of these stories and some reasons are familiar, but even the ones that aren't really resonate with me.
For most of life - from my teens to my early 30s, my weight went back and forth over the years and I usually ranged from a size 10 to 14/16. Not obese, but always overweight. But I was an active overweight person, and I felt much healthier than many of my skinny friends who did not exercise and ate junk all the time. I did hit a healthy BMI when I was 24 from all the dancing I was doing, but knee problems forced me to quit and the weight slowly crept up. I did manage to stay under 200 pounds until about 8 years ago the weight started to pile on and nothing I did would last long. WW, Southbeach diet, etc worked for a while, then I would stall and the weight would come back + more. I was depressed and the weight gain just made the depression worse. I remember my personal trainer talking to me about what I needed to do if I was serious about losing weight and I walked out on her - I was angry that she thought I wasn't doing my best, but at the same time I didn't want her to see me break down in tears. I never went back.
Like many people here, I had a lot of "well, I'll never let myself get to _____ weight," but it has happened time and again. The first WGD (weight gain defeat) was hitting 200 lbs. Around the same time, realising that I had stop fighting myself in the regular stores - the size 18s were barely fitting, and department stores like Sears had nothing I wanted to wear - and walking into a dedicated plus-size store for the first time. Walking from the parking lot into the store was really embarrassing, but once I was inside I was surrounded by clothes that fit and very positive people around me. Then I hit 220. Then 250. Now I'm fluctuating but hitting a high of 275. Over the past 10 years I have gained, with consistency, 10-15 pounds a year and nothing I do seems to stop it. My overall activity and eating patterns haven't changed (except when I try a new diet or exercise). I don't drink alcohol or any carbonated beverages anymore, no junk food other than chocolate (!), and I still get over 10,000 steps a day.
I had a couple of minor health problems last year that really reduced my ability to move and exercise, which is why I've gained so much in the last year (at least 20lbs). At the time I realised that I have no one to help me. I'm single and live alone. Most of my family and close friends are 1000's of miles away. I thought about "what if I die here" (in case of a worse case scenario - some recent events that happened to other people made me more aware) - because being an expat means you can't rely on what you know from home - and realised that it would be much cheaper for my family to cremate me, rather than to have my body flown home (airlines charge by the kilo). But even then, there was no "straw" that broke the camel's back. I woke up one morning, decided to (randomly) research weight loss surgery in Japan, came across a post from this site, and I haven't looked back since.
Maybe my brain, my subconscious, whatever, was quietly making a list of problems that I just couldn't ignore, so that when I woke up that morning about 6 weeks ago, it knew that I needed to start making some real changes in my life and that this would be the best way to do it. Now that I've decided to do it, this surgery, this new life plan, has become my new obsession. It's the most positive thing that has happened to me in a while, and I really hope it works out!
None of these is the straw, but they've all contributed:
Living in a country where absolutely no clothes fit me (I don't even know where obese Japanese women get their clothes - I have a feeling quite a few make them) As a result of the above, spending a ton of money on online shopping and shipping, knowing that it's not worth returning if it doesn't fit, and having to make do with what comes Also because of the above, spending a lot of time looking for stores with plus-size sections when I do travel abroad because I need clothes - bottoms fall apart in the heat and humidity here, and tops seem to shrink with time Worrying about fitting into plane and train seats when I travel Having to bring extra clothes when I travel in case things (especially pants) get ruined by the dreaded chub rub Having to deal with extra heavy or larger suitcases because of my bigger clothes Having 90% of my shoes not fit anymore because of the weight gain and edema (especially in the summer) The looks I get from people all the time. It's not disgust, more like amazement - how can somebody be that big? She must eat 24/7! The fact that people feel they can comment on my weight at any time - from my little nephew asking me why I was so fat, to a Buddhist monk in Burma commenting on my need to exercise more and eat less (!). I'll never see the monk again but I hope the next time I see my nephew he won't even remember asking me that question. My brother laughing at me when we Skyped over Christmas. He hadn't seen me for a few years and he had no problems making me feel humiliated when I was already so depressed. His "just eat one meal a day like I do" didn't help either Friends "forgetting" about me - I get a lot of excuses when I ask people to do things, but they never get back to me about getting together when a time is convenient for them Still single. I've accepted that part of my life but I also want a chance of happiness with someone. That will never happen while I'm in the obese part of the BMI. The only time men seem interested me is when I weigh less than 150 pounds, and it's been a long a time since I was that low. Realising that, over the past 6 years, I have missed 2 family reunions and have avoided visiting friends from a thinner time in my life because I don't want to see the look of shock on their faces when they see the current me. Every time I see that look (like "what the he!! happened!") it's just so depressing Also realising that I keep postponing trips and activities I want to do because I know my weight will either prevent me from doing all that I want, or will really get in the way Looking at photos of myself with my students or other people and realising I am more than double their width Hitting 275. That's a big blow and I definitely do not, cannot, will not hit 300.

Tiffany, I'm so sad to hear about your news. Of course you will need time to grieve for your loss. However, as you have already said, you should also try to focus on the positive things in your life. You've lost an amazing amount of weight, are much healthier than you were before, and you still have other options available to you.
I haven't gone through what you are currently experiencing, but I've already had to come to grips that I would never have children - being morbidly obese doesn't stack the odds in my favour of finding somebody to share a life with (especially in Japan where most women are stick thin), and even if I did have someone, getting pregnant at this weight, and now age (I'm a bit older than you), would be very difficult and problematic. But that's okay. It's not what I thought my life would be like, but then again, being obese is not something I dreamed of either when I was younger. :-)
I suffer from clinical depression and when I go through tough times my mantra is "think of the solution, not the problem." I think sometimes we (or at least I) get upset and depressed when I feel I lost control of a situation. Maybe you feel the same way too? If so, doing something, anything, might help you feel better.
Are you really meant to be a mother? If so, even if surrogacy is not option, adoption and fostering are. So is spending more time with your nieces and nephews. It may not be your first choice, but you still have choices out there.
Is your biggest fear re-gaining weight after the surgery? Do some research, talk to your doctor about finding tools (including support groups) and strategies to help you deal with what's ahead.
I don't know if any of this helps, but I hope you can get through this.

Have you seen this video of Dr. Illan doing a VGS? It's posted elsewhere on this site, but I'll add it again here. He pulls the stomach out at 34:50 (I think the incision is just above the belly button), and you can see the whole stomach inflated right at the end of the video.
https://youtu.be/WQk-flD-NjI

Wow - I've been reading a lot of these stories and some reasons are familiar, but even the ones that aren't really resonate with me.
For most of life - from my teens to my early 30s, my weight went back and forth over the years and I usually ranged from a size 10 to 14/16. Not obese, but always overweight. But I was an active overweight person, and I felt much healthier than many of my skinny friends who did not exercise and ate junk all the time. I did hit a healthy BMI when I was 24 from all the dancing I was doing, but knee problems forced me to quit and the weight slowly crept up. I did manage to stay under 200 pounds until about 8 years ago the weight started to pile on and nothing I did would last long. WW, Southbeach diet, etc worked for a while, then I would stall and the weight would come back + more. I was depressed and the weight gain just made the depression worse. I remember my personal trainer talking to me about what I needed to do if I was serious about losing weight and I walked out on her - I was angry that she thought I wasn't doing my best, but at the same time I didn't want her to see me break down in tears. I never went back.
Like many people here, I had a lot of "well, I'll never let myself get to _____ weight," but it has happened time and again. The first WGD (weight gain defeat) was hitting 200 lbs. Around the same time, realising that I had stop fighting myself in the regular stores - the size 18s were barely fitting, and department stores like Sears had nothing I wanted to wear - and walking into a dedicated plus-size store for the first time. Walking from the parking lot into the store was really embarrassing, but once I was inside I was surrounded by clothes that fit and very positive people around me. Then I hit 220. Then 250. Now I'm fluctuating but hitting a high of 275. Over the past 10 years I have gained, with consistency, 10-15 pounds a year and nothing I do seems to stop it. My overall activity and eating patterns haven't changed (except when I try a new diet or exercise). I don't drink alcohol or any carbonated beverages anymore, no junk food other than chocolate (!), and I still get over 10,000 steps a day.
I had a couple of minor health problems last year that really reduced my ability to move and exercise, which is why I've gained so much in the last year (at least 20lbs). At the time I realised that I have no one to help me. I'm single and live alone. Most of my family and close friends are 1000's of miles away. I thought about "what if I die here" (in case of a worse case scenario - some recent events that happened to other people made me more aware) - because being an expat means you can't rely on what you know from home - and realised that it would be much cheaper for my family to cremate me, rather than to have my body flown home (airlines charge by the kilo). But even then, there was no "straw" that broke the camel's back. I woke up one morning, decided to (randomly) research weight loss surgery in Japan, came across a post from this site, and I haven't looked back since.
Maybe my brain, my subconscious, whatever, was quietly making a list of problems that I just couldn't ignore, so that when I woke up that morning about 6 weeks ago, it knew that I needed to start making some real changes in my life and that this would be the best way to do it. Now that I've decided to do it, this surgery, this new life plan, has become my new obsession. It's the most positive thing that has happened to me in a while, and I really hope it works out!
None of these is the straw, but they've all contributed:
Living in a country where absolutely no clothes fit me (I don't even know where obese Japanese women get their clothes - I have a feeling quite a few make them) As a result of the above, spending a ton of money on online shopping and shipping, knowing that it's not worth returning if it doesn't fit, and having to make do with what comes Also because of the above, spending a lot of time looking for stores with plus-size sections when I do travel abroad because I need clothes - bottoms fall apart in the heat and humidity here, and tops seem to shrink with time Worrying about fitting into plane and train seats when I travel Having to bring extra clothes when I travel in case things (especially pants) get ruined by the dreaded chub rub Having to deal with extra heavy or larger suitcases because of my bigger clothes Having 90% of my shoes not fit anymore because of the weight gain and edema (especially in the summer) The looks I get from people all the time. It's not disgust, more like amazement - how can somebody be that big? She must eat 24/7! The fact that people feel they can comment on my weight at any time - from my little nephew asking me why I was so fat, to a Buddhist monk in Burma commenting on my need to exercise more and eat less (!). I'll never see the monk again but I hope the next time I see my nephew he won't even remember asking me that question. My brother laughing at me when we Skyped over Christmas. He hadn't seen me for a few years and he had no problems making me feel humiliated when I was already so depressed. His "just eat one meal a day like I do" didn't help either Friends "forgetting" about me - I get a lot of excuses when I ask people to do things, but they never get back to me about getting together when a time is convenient for them Still single. I've accepted that part of my life but I also want a chance of happiness with someone. That will never happen while I'm in the obese part of the BMI. The only time men seem interested me is when I weigh less than 150 pounds, and it's been a long a time since I was that low. Realising that, over the past 6 years, I have missed 2 family reunions and have avoided visiting friends from a thinner time in my life because I don't want to see the look of shock on their faces when they see the current me. Every time I see that look (like "what the he!! happened!") it's just so depressing Also realising that I keep postponing trips and activities I want to do because I know my weight will either prevent me from doing all that I want, or will really get in the way Looking at photos of myself with my students or other people and realising I am more than double their width Hitting 275. That's a big blow and I definitely do not, cannot, will not hit 300.