biginjapan

I'm Canadian actually, and will probably be in Japan until I retire. Just work-wise I know I'm in a much more secure position here than I could ever have back home (I've got tenure at a university here). I did leave Japan after my first five years here, as, at that time, I knew that if I ever wanted a shot of being in a real relationship and/or having kids, that was the time to do it (I've known a lot of other women who also left in their late 20s/early 30s for exactly the same reason). But that didn't work out for me either (in 2 different countries) and eventually I came to accept that maybe I was meant to be single forever and not have kids, no matter where I was (which is why I returned to Japan). I've never been the kind of person who needs to be with others (happy introvert over here!) so never felt the need to chase people to date because I was lonely or needed sex. Maybe it's just bad luck on my part, but I never really met someone who I really hit it off with (I mean, who were single to begin with😉), so I've always felt happier on my own than the other way around (who needs the stress of a lot of bad or mediocre dates?). But, I'm still an optimist and who knows what will happen in the future. FWIW, I'm kind of with AJ here - I think travel to other places/countries opens up a lot of possibilities, and you are able to find likeminded-people more easily. I recently came back from a trip to several African countries where I got a lot of compliments from the local men (who prefer curvier women, even though the local women are quite beautiful (but thin)). I know quite a few people who using online dating apps to hook up with (or just meet) people when they travel. That said, years before apps were even a thing, one of my friends from school got talking to a guy on a bus when she was in Thailand, by the time they got off the bus they decided to spend the rest of their time together for the remainder of their trip, by the end of the trip she flew back to Europe with him and they eventually got married and had kids. It really happened that fast, and they are still together 20+ years later. So, you never know what could happen. However, to counter AJ a little bit - he's financially well-off and travels to countries where women are not, and where they often have to depend on men to take care of them (whether they want them to or not). That's fine if that's what both parties want, I'm not judging in any way. But I'm in the opposite camp. I have some financial stability and can take care of myself - I'm not looking for a man who can do that for me, but who can complement my life (and I his). And to be with someone who is attracted to, and wants to be with a successful, confident woman who knows what she wants, and is not the weak/dependent person in the pair (to be clear, I don't want either person to be weak or dependent). Here's a final thought too, about what happens when you lose weight, and are successful in keeping it off. I remember reading somewhere (I'll have to find it) that it's not just the person who loses weight who has to deal with their own body image, but people who knew them too. If people around you know/knew you as obese, they may always see you through that "filter", despite the fact that it's been years of more since you were that way. That may make it more difficult to find someone within your own circle of friends, family, and acquaintances, since they may refer to you that way for a long time, even to people who didn't know you at that weight. I know, for example, in my own family, my parents often refer to one our former neighbours (who is a cop), as, "you know, the one who weighed 350 pounds and lost 200 pounds, you remember her?" How do people ever overcome that stigma of obesity? I don't know.

This is something I think about for myself as I lose weight.* I sort of wonder if I have always used my weight as an excuse not to be in a relationship, because whenever I lose weight and start to attract attention again, it mostly annoys me (usually I think because if I'm not interested, what's the point?) I've been alone for a very long time and I don't know how I would deal with dating again (not that I was ever that great at it). That said, I've always been optimistic that eventually I would find someone to share my life with (even a deep meaningful friendship, something I don't currently have). I don't know how I'll navigate this going forward, but to be honest, it's not a huge issue for me at the moment. *Not that any of this matters because here in Japan there is no one for me. The majority of Japanese men are not interested in dating a middle-aged "fat" woman (and no matter how much weight I lose, I will always be fat here) and many are intimidated by Western women - so, no. The non-Japanese guys my age are either married with kids, or the kind that like to chase tail that's half their age. Either way, they're not interested in me and I'm definitely not interested in them.

Yes, but that depends on a lot of factors - often the more overweight a person is, the faster their weight loss will be post-op. Men lose weight a lot faster than women. And genetics plays a role too - some people are naturally inclined to lose weight faster after surgery than others. You can't compare yourself to other people - your body is your own, and it will lose weight on its own schedule. As for stalls, sometimes moving from one food stage to another will cause a short stall, but it's just your body adjusting. If you stick to your macros (protein, calories, water) and get some exercise in, the weight loss should come, however slowly. Also - the scale is not the only measure of success. Take your measurements - now, today. Then, every week, or two weeks, or month (just be regular about it), take your measurements again. I do this on the first of every month and it's very telling. I had the sleeve done 3 years ago, and bypass 3.5 weeks ago, and I know that the body will be changing, losing weight, even if it doesn't show it on the scale. Try smaller clothes - you'd be surprised what fits you now. I've been shocked by being able to go down not one size, but two or more in less than a month.

90g of carbs is still quite high. Have you tried cutting back on carbs? That might help kickstart your weight loss again. I'm only 3 weeks out but I'm trying to stay under 40 net carbs/day (although I'm not always successful at that). Also, have you talked to your surgeon/nutritionist? If you stopped losing weight then there may be something else that is impacting this.

It's common for hair to fall out. It will grow back! When I had the sleeve done back in 2017 I did the same as you - started supplements months before surgery and used lots of biotin shampoos and conditioners. It still fell out. I kept my hair in a short bob during that time - the hair loss didn't seem as bad as with long hair, and once the hair started growing back it made sense to have a shorter hairstyle to manage those shorter hair until they grew long enough to fit the hairstyle.

I think you're doing well! I also revised from sleeve to bypass a week before you did, and I've only lost 10 pounds in three weeks. But I'm not worried. I feel good (except for the constipation (!)), have a lot of energy, and can see the difference in my face, my collarbones (they've magically re-appeared!), and the way my clothes fit. Next week will time for my monthly measurements, so I'm sure I'll see a lot of progress there too. As for food, I can also eat about 1/2 cup of food, but unless it's a puree or liquid (like soup), I'm trying to make it less than that in one serving. I've been on soft foods for the past week, so I'm much more conscious of what I'm eating and how it will affect me. So far, so good - no issues with anything I've tried.

I think 16 pounds is great for three weeks! I've only lost 10 since my surgery on the same day, but I'm not worried about it. I was looking at my weight loss averages from when I had the sleeve 3 years ago and I averaged between 7-15 pounds per month (I was about the same weight you were at starting weight). That, combined with my pre-op weight loss (22 pounds), meant that by November (10 months out) I had lost 100 pounds. I still wasn't at goal weight then, but I was happy with my progress. Of course, after that, I derailed, but that's another story. Remember, you probably didn't gain 100+ pounds in 6 months, you are unlikely to lose that much in the same amount of time. Some people do, but they are either male (tend to lose weight faster), or started at a higher weight, or are genetically pre-disposed to lose weight faster than others.

I hadn't been able to go the full day before surgery, or the day of surgery, or the first day post-op. So by the second day post-op I asked Dr. Kaur for an enema which he happily handed over and that helped a lot (for some reason the nurses were reluctant to do anything with my request for one). At that time I wasn't so worried about the constipation, but the fact that I might have to push so hard that I would actually open up some wounds!

I had my sleeve done in Feb 2017, but after the first year where I lost 100 pounds, I regained about 60. I tried doing pouch resets but they didn't last. I could eat a full plate of food, not as much as I once did (because let's be honest, I probably could eat 2 plates of food), but certainly a lot more than anyone who had had the sleeve should have been able to eat - the restriction was really not there for me. So just over 3 weeks ago I had a revision to RNY (long-limbed). My surgeon and I discussed the possibilities and this was his recommendation based on his experience as a surgeon: People who re-sleeved had the lowest amount of weight loss after a revision People who had a mini gastric bypass (which basically keeps the sleeve but adds a long-limbed bypass - usually about 100-150cm) do great in terms of weight loss, but at least 10% will suffer from GERD afterwards, which will require another surgery People who revised from sleeve to a standard RNY (which is a short-limbed bypass) didn't lose as much weight overall with that procedure People who revised from sleeve to a standard RNY but with a long-limbed bypass did the best with weight-loss and without the complications of developing GERD. So I went with this option (not only because of this, but because of other gastro-intestinal issues I have). In any event, I would talk to your surgeon about what you want to achieve and what is the best option for you, your sleeve, and what your own particular health needs are.

I can't imagine not going for 5 days straight! After a day and a half of no movement I'm feeling it. If things hadn't finally moved on as they did today, I would have gone to the hospital for some help. I do have to admit though, once it's (ALL) finally out, it feels sooooo good! 💩😀

Slider foods are often simple carbs (chips, pretzels, crackers, popcorn, cookies, most desserts, etc) that go down real easy!!! So easy in fact, that you'll finish off a whole bag of _____ and wonder where they all went. They have a lot of empty calories and no real nutritional value, so what you end up doing is eating foods you shouldn't, instead of foods you should. That's why it's easy to regain, no matter what surgery you had. You have to be careful in your food choices forever. That's not to say that once you are in maintenance mode you can't have a treat now and then, but if you had any kind of food addiction before surgery, you have to think about whether or not eating these foods will take you back down that (weight regain) path again.

I've never been a fan of laxatives, or needed to use them, since for at least a decade before my sleeve I suffered from ulcerative colitis where the opposite problem was a daily fact for me. In fact, only got them because it was suggested after my first surgery, so even though they were expired I still used them. I have some Smooth Move tea which I found buried in my pantry (also bought after sleeve surgery) - I think that did a lot more than the ex-lax. In any event, I'm hoping that my diet (with fibre) will be enough to keep me regular, but I want the laxatives as a backup, because I never want to go through what I just went through the past three days! (seriously, I have no idea what the neighbours think was happening here, but even I was scared by the sounds I was making!)

OMG - We are surgery twins and this week has been horrible for me - I've spent the last 3 days in a lot of pain because of constipation. I couldn't even leave the house. I've used up the few laxatives I had remaining, went back to liquids, and now have a big order of more laxatives, soluble fibre, and more to help me get through this. Luckily my classes have been postponed or are online until the end of April, so I don't need to worry about having issues during the day at work (because trust me, once something starts moving back there, I need to get to a toilet right quick! 😞😉). I finally was able to pass most of what was in there out yesterday and today, and the weight that I "gained" since the weekend is now gone. I know more fibre will help, but at the same time even though I'm on soft foods now I am limited by what I can add that has enough fibre in it. I'll have to be much more vigilant from now on.

Of course - any calorie deficit will most likely result in weight loss. I think what the surgeons are referring to is the honeymoon period after surgery, where weight loss will happen the most rapidly, and the most easily. Eventually it does slow down, and for many people, hunger returns. But I've known people on this site, and other places online, who lost 80-90% of their weight in the first year (often faster), but took 2-3 years to get to their goal weight. It's not impossible. But I think it also sets up people to feel like a failure if they DON'T reach their goal, and that's not true either. Many people make it to the overweight BMI and can't go further into the healthy range (or can, but find it harder to maintain). But even then they've lost 80% or more of their excess weight. That's something to be proud of. Even for myself, I'm trying to manage expectations - I'd like to get to a healthy BMI, but I know that weight loss is usually not as dramatic with revision surgery, and that it will probably take me longer to get there (if ever).

One of my favourite doctors on YouTube, Dr. Weiner, says that in his experience, the four-month mark will be the halfway point of your total weight loss. Most people lose all of their weight in the 6-12 months post-op, it’s not as common, although possible, to keep losing weight after that. So I don’t know why your doctor said that you’re done at four months - I’ve never seen any guidelines that have remotely said the same thing. You are still technically obese but close to overweight in terms of BMI. From my experience, both on this site, and with sleeve surgery a few years ago, I’d say you are either in a stall, and/or you need to be prepared for your weight loss to be happening at a slower rate than before. Maybe mix up your diet a bit more (get off the protein bars and eat real food), and change up your activity. It doesn’t have to be going to the gym, just upping the intensity of walks or playing physical games with your kids may be enough.

I had my revision to bypass three weeks ago but did not have to do any bowel prep. In fact, I was told to eat a carb rich meal for dinner the night before surgery (which I did). Surgery went well and other than gas pain on the first day post-op, haven’t had any problems since. (Ahhh...that’s not true. Now that I’m soft foods constipation has become an issue, but that’s another topic...)

Yes, this is common for many people, not just gastric surgery patients. When your body goes through an extreme event (any kind of surgery, pregnancy, etc) some hair loss will occur. It can be upsetting and disconcerting, but probably the only people who will notice are you and your hairdresser. It will stop, it will grow back, just give it a few months.

I just had bypass a few days before you and I've been on purees (and full liquids) since the day I left the hospital (day 3 post-op). I haven't had any real issues except with Greek yogurt (I guess I'll be a bit lactose intolerant for a while, common with bypass, not so much with sleeve). But I had the sleeve 3 years ago so have already been through this once before, where I had to wait a couple weeks before going on purees. In both cases, waiting, or starting right away, I've been doing well. I've been drinking blended soups, pureed veggies, soft tofu, cottage cheese, etc. Just go slow and start with small amounts at first. Try one new (pureed) food per day. After a few days, try adding another pureed food for a second meal. Your sleeve will let you know what's working and what's not.

The scars will mostly disappear over time - the scars I had from my first surgery are pretty invisible but I think if I got a tan they would probably show up. I’ve only ever used vitamin E cream on my scars as it’s the only thing I can get with any regularity here in Japan.

Everyone is different. I was watching a video on YouTube by Dr. Weiner and he mentioned that some people are faster losers than others - here's the relevant section of the video. Maybe you are part the lucky genetic group who tends to lose faster than others!

You're only a week post-op and already eating eggs? That might be a little fast - and clearly it is since you are either in some kind of discomfort or have the hiccups which means you are overeating (!). I had my surgery on March 3rd and was on full liquids and purees for 2 weeks - so blended soups, cottage cheese, yogurt, mashed/pureed veggies, soft tofu, etc. - all that. Now that I'm on week 3 I have started with soft/mushy foods. I tried the ricotta bake but that was a disaster - clearly I'm (hopefully temporarily) lactose intolerant (very common for bypass patients!), so I'll be avoiding any primarily dairy-based foods for a while. I tried some of Shelly's Egg Bites this week and they've been going down quite well. Canned tuna has also been a good option for me (I mix in a little shredded cheese and add some seasonings, warm it up just enough to soften the cheese). Here's the thing - just because you CAN eat something, doesn't mean you HAVE to - if it is causing any kind of problem, just refrain from eating it for a week, and try that food again later. Stay on full liquids, or add different kind of mushies like the ones I mentioned above. And the less liquid it is, the less you should eat of it, at least in the beginning. So if you can drink 1/4-1/2 cup of liquids at a time, your food intake should be 1/8c. Try that - you may have to have more "mini-meals" but it's better than waiting hours for the discomfort to clear so that you can your liquids and/or other food in.

I'm surprised you have to get so much protein in so soon after surgery. My protein schedule was 1-2 weeks post-op: 40g, 3-4 weeks post-op: 50g, after one month: 60g+ If you are on liquids only then I would imagine you have to drink more than one protein drink a day to get to that level, which again I think is really high, and unrealistic. Most programs I know of will encourage you to get your liquids in (first priority) and then protein (second priority), at least in the beginning stages post-op. A great source of protein, other than shakes, is miso soup (just the broth, nothing else). If you have access to a Japanese restaurant of any kind, or a supermarket that sells miso paste, it's a great way to add protein. Bone broth is good too, but I like to mix things up a bit.

I feel your pain! I had the sleeve done three years ago, lost over 100 pounds in about 10 months, then gained about 60 back through bad food choices and/or just plain overeating (even healthy foods). I'd go on reset diets which would work for a while, but then I would plateau for a long time and start to gain weight again. Part of the problem was trying to deal with my food addictions that came back once I fell off the bariatric diet wagon. After a while it was just too hard to get back on again. Eventually I decided to have a revision to bypass, which I had done 2.5 weeks ago. Hopefully that's not something you'll have to do - if you have support groups around you and people that you can work with, it should be possible to lose the weight you regained.

Longer stalls are not uncommon the further out you are from surgery (often 2-5 weeks!). As long as the weight is not going up from week to week, I think it's okay. Are you taking your body measurements? That can often show that you are losing weight, even if the scale doesn't move. I've also noticed that sometimes the body likes to hold onto fluids a little more every now and then, not sure why. Even being constipated/having no bowel movements for a few days can affect the scale. Another thing you can try is mixing up your diet and exercise a bit. Go cycling or swimming instead of walking, try some new bariatric-friendly recipes...it may kick your body out of its stall.

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