Melissabotrl

I am also starting the divorce process. Very scary as I have been married for 27 years. I will be a new "normal" for me, but will be nice to make decisions for myself. Forgot what that was like! lol

I am also starting the divorce process. Very scary as I have been married for 27 years. I will be a new "normal" for me, but will be nice to make decisions for myself. Forgot what that was like! lol

To answer you question, the answer is NO! I am no longer relevant!
I have been through the basics, completed the process..and have moved onto living a normal life again with no worries about dieting, gaining or loosing weight...I can eat and drink foods people on diets would never dream of...
It seems like every other post is about whether someone can eat a cookie, or what do I use with dip....how about chips? Or crackers? That's what I use, but people starting out can't hear that, nor would they understand.
Sometimes, it seems like I have stumbled upon a Jenny Craig or weight watchers website....Over the last 30 years or so, I have been on every diet known...and it's all the same old mantra, and I am reading it here every day again and again.
The latest is strategies dealing with Halloween ????? I happen to like Reeces cups or Hershey bars...and the thing is, I don't expect people to understand what I just said.
There is huge gap between veterans and people starting out....like babies learning to walk and marathon runners....
Bottom line, I have come to a place that people just starting out can never dream of being a reality...We simply cannot relate, and honestly they are probably better off not knowing half the things I have discovered...(There is a life after weight loss)
It only confuses and distracts them.
Only thing me and people starting out have in common, is I can say "I've been there, done that" And know this, it will take you to places you never dreamed possible....IT DOES WORK!!!!
Sooner or later you will (Have to) finish this and move into a new realm.
All Journeys (I don't like the term) must come to and end sooner or later, otherwise your wandering around the wilderness forever....(making everyone in this business rich)
Everyone on this forum today, was not here when I first came (with the exception of one or two)
Where did everybody go???? Did they ALL FAIL? I don't think so...Like graduating from High School they have all moved on to bigger and better things...why would they want to hang around? (I keep asking myself that question)
Sad part about this is, when you come to this forum, all you do hear and read is people just starting out with no first hand experience, people complaining, lost, frustrated, confused looking for answers...and/or just having major, serious complications.
It would be easy to think that this is all there is to all this....when in reality everyone here is a minority...a very small segment....there is a whole world out there of "Veterans" you don't even know about and never hear about.
Not everyone has had problems...not everyone has found this difficult....and sometimes all that can be interpreted as negative...and when you're up, you don't need to be around that all the time.
Yes, there is a Veterans section here...but is it really?
To a very large extent I have to keep my mouth shut, keep my opinions to myself.
Many just would not understand.
I have definitely become Irrelevant....

This discussion is aimed toward people who are several years post op - NOT toward people early in their journey.
Are we relevant anymore to the new people posting?
More than once I have been "grouped" with some unknown (to me) group of people who are mean and dogpile on others. While I am unrelenting in the truth of my experiences I don't intend to cause harm. After awhile one does have to question if this is the case since the accusation is made both openingly and veiled and by more than one person.
I can discount it to some extent (opinions aren't necessarily shared by others, people can be a bit on edge in the early days etc) but lately I have questioned my involvement in these forums. I get something back, but to be honest I could probably get that support by posting in vet and maintenance forums only. I try to help because if it weren't for others - who have long since left- I probably would have not been sleeved nor found the lasting success. But, they have left,the next wave left, and others have replaced whilst I hang on.
I am asking this question, not just about me, but across the board. When I am feeling cynical I am reminded of my experience when banded when I was told I would just be satisfied to "eat dainty portions" and like magic I would become trim and slender. I feel that now the sleeve is being mass marketed with similar questionable advice. I am especially empathetic to those like me who had so much to lose and were pretty deep in the obesity disease process. Ann had a thread about how little value nutritionists added and I am keenly aware of how...useless...some of the guidance people are given in the mass marketing of the sleeve.
This sounds like burn out but it is actually a different question - at 4 years post op is my experiences relevant? Just because I needed to shift my whole dang world to maintain this huge weight loss - is that even useful/relevant now?
Part of why I ask here is because I have received some direct criticisms that I don't even understand...I feel like the hard of hearing granny who cannot understand why everyone is mad that I announced my grand daughter's bra size in public (yes, my granny did that as she was astounded at my girth!)
Again please respect that this question is directed to fellow vets.

@@Gaylene Davison,
First, I am sorry you are having trouble. As you are experiencing, it can get tougher as time goes on and there isn’t the excitement of losing weight or of achieving new goals every day.
It sounds like you have two concerns here. One is fear of band erosion. I would talk to a surgeon or a few surgeons about that and see if they think pre-emptive band removal and gastric bypass is a good solution.
The other is head hunger. The trouble is that head hunger doesn’t go away necessarily. It can, in some cases, but not usually. It is more likely something you will always need to cope with. I would take a serious look at what you are eating that you shouldn’t, and what triggers it, and what you can do instead. Then think about whether the gastric bypass will help that.
Good luck – and don’t feel like a failure. You are not!

It's really hard. I had the band for 10 years and except for the first few months, my physical hunger was never under control. One thing I learned as a sleever that I didn't know then is that eating low carb - especially eliminating that quick sugars (junk food, fruit juice, fruits) helped so much with hunger. I think it can help with head hunger too, because honestly I can't always tell the difference.
Good luck with whatever you decide.

The bypass is a great surgery and I think you are very wise to consider it.
That said, no surgery will permanently cure your head hunger issues. To be successful, IMO you need to work on ways to deal with emotional and behavioral issues other than having surgery on your insides. Whether that is therapy, or committing to regularly attend support groups, or even just to start by reading a lot of books on how to get over using food as a source of comfort or entertainment or something like that. Surgery is a great tool but for many of us, it alone is not enough.
Don't feel like a failure. Please don't. Obesity is one of the toughest health problems in the world to face -- it really is -- and medicine and science are just starting to come up with the tools to help us. For many people, the lap band is a step in the right direction (for others, it is just what they need) but not enough. It sounds to me like you worked incredibly hard and were very successful for a long time. Now you are being smart and considering further options. To me that sounds like someone who is determined and tough, not someone who is a failure. Good luck!

@@JamieLogical
i moved to a different area/neighborhood in Syracuse, NY (you are Rochester, right??)
i was at my GOAL weight and lookin' good
no one in my new area knew that i ever was fat. (seems like a lifetime ago!)
i fit in as a "normal" person! (of course what is normal)
(107 lbs down - goal!!! that's great!!!)
have you told any "newbies" you lost all that weight
kindof like an icebreaker??
i remember you earlier mentioning problems/issues with hubby
this can be a trying time (i went through it yearssss ago)
good for you on starting your new social life
it is a little scary - but i think you will be fine, and do great!!!
enjoying all your posts - i can tell you have a great personality !!!
take "things" slowly, don't jump into anything
you go girl!!
good luck
kathy

Jamie,
Moving on is a wonderful but scary journey all in its own. I wish you nothing but happiness and contentment.
Have YOU taken time to get to know and love the "thin you"? Have you become best friends within your own skin (now that there's less )?
I mention that because once YOU realize what a dear and special woman you are within your own self then others will also see it --shining from within.
Enjoy your "alone" time. Enjoy living alone--getting comfortable and strong within yourself.
Then----
GO AND GET'M!
Prayers going up for you.

I would recommend tracking everything to make sure you are not eating too little, as well. Sometimes we go all gung ho when we get serious about changes. Also, choose some work outs where you push yourself, hard and others that are gentle and relaxing to reduce cortisol. and, as always get plenty to drink and be patient with your body.
Also, I recommend epsom salts baths and massage as a way to help your body realize you aren't trying to kill it.

Recycled, I for sure think that my metabolism is broken. I eat low carb high Protein daily. A few months ago I could tighten up on my food and lose weight and now that doesn't work anymore. I refuse to have to starve myself in order to lose weight. That's no way to live.
Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

I'm the OP with an update: after cutting out Cereal as my afternoon snack and replacing with hummas and celery, I've slowly dropped 8 of the 13 pounds gained from lowest.

Anyone who thinks long-term WLS success is based on a "single, silver bullet" solution like "just track your calories" or "just get in 10,000 steps a day" or "just eat 100 grams of protein" or "just drink 100 ounces of Water a day" or "just [insert your favorite single, silver bullet solution here]" will likely eventually get their comeuppance.
What matters is all of it: calories, Protein, hydration, good nutrition, supplements, exercise, positive attitude, support, mindfulness, etc.
And what also matters is what @@Andrew0929 has demonstrated in this thread: (1) noticing when something's gone haywire and (2) trying something different to fix it. So impressive.

to all WLS newbies VET's, and everyone else in betwen
Today i celebrated my 62nd birthday
party dance party dance!!!
it's been 4 amazing years since i moved to sleeve land
i was one of the lucky ones that hardly had any problems PO
(not even gas!!)
in my previous life
i wore elastic waist blue jeans to work
they "hid" my rear end !!!
i wore big blouses/t-shirts
I looked great - NOT
didn't care about my appearance
if i didn't look in a mirror - i was "ok"
miserable etc - but that WAS me
fast forward
i have lost 105 lbs!!! GOAL
i feel wonderful, healthy and happy
experienced a lllllllong list of NSV's
and they keep coming
as i was reaching GOAL
my life was changing, improving
loosing the weight improved/got rid of meds and health issues
i "gained" confidence, happiness, - all those great feelings
"those feelings" were always there
couldn't find "them"
they were hiding
under all my blubber!!!
i peeled my excess skin off
feel like wonder women!!!
"we"/most say "WLS is not easy"
mental improvements aren't easy either
getting head/body issues to mesh together
isn't easy either
i'm stlll a work in progress
i look amazing, i really do
"cute as a button" LOL
DOS
12/15/11
235 lbs
57 years OLD

present
130 lbs
GOAL
62 years YOUNG!!!
Happy B'Day to me, today!!!!
my weight is a part of my past, present and future
life gets better and better
i am 5'3 short
but i feel 10 ft tall
congrats to ME
kathy

I met my husband on Yahoo personals 10 years ago ... when I was at my heaviest ... he loved me then ... and he loves me now
We chatted on the computer for a week .. then on the phone for 2 weeks ... then I finally agreed to meet for dinner ... and the rest, they say, is history ...
when he came to pick me up ... for me ... it was love at first sight ... *sigh* it really does exist ...
And it is worth weeding through the crap to find it
Good Luck Sharon!

@@Sharon1964 it just gets weirder when you meet -ha! Although I wised up over time and screen much better now so I haven't met "a doozy" since those early days. The only true nutcase I actually dated for several months before he couldn't hide his true nature anymore. I learned something VERY important from that experience. If someone tells you all these stories about how crazy his ex is, just assume that he is the craziest of the pair.

Dr. Pop did my husband's and my surgery and I assure you, that team did not let you down as far as preparation. They are all wonderful. I had some regrets in the hospital, but when I started seeing the scales go down, I have never looked back. Life is so great now, and I will always be grateful for the opportunity. Hang in there-it really does get better. I am really jealous that you got it done so young. I would have had so many more opportunities. Take care, Melissa

Mom 2 6 - I would encourage you to get on MyFitnessPal.com or one of the other food tracking sites. This free App helps you track what you are eating, how much exercise you are doing, and how much Water you are drinking. I have found this app to be by far the best weight loss tool I have ever found, and its free. Begin by making small changes, like just committing to tracking what you are eating everyday. Once you get that down work on something else. I try to add one new goal a week. The hardest part is starting! You are here! You can get it back under control, you just have to start.